His last two words echo in my head. For now. Our relationship can exist online for now, but at some point, and maybe soon, I’m going to have to pass him off to Aggie. I take a deep breath, count to four, and exhale slowly.
10
The next day at school, I feel like I’m positively radiating. Like I just got a pumpkin facial, a basket of kittens dropped off on my doorstep, and a giant mint chocolate chip ice cream sundae all in the same day. I even vague-tweeted first thing this morning:
Cici Reno @yogagirl4evr • 32m
Nothing can bring down my mood today! #giddy
#sohappy #goodmorning
I know, everyone hates vague-tweeting, but it’s not like I could scream my true thoughts from the rooftops. I’m happy. And it’s all because of Drew. We chatted for over an hour last night and he’s just so sweet and smart. I have no clue how he can be friends with my brother. Most of Luke’s friends are smelly, belching, obnoxious troll-like beings that need to take their shoes and socks off to count to twenty. Well, except for Luke’s friend Matt—he’s missing a toe. But Drew, he’s so different. He’s kind, he reads a lot, he likes music, and he’s really funny.
Yeah, so I’ve got a teensy little crush on Drew. We get along so well! It’s fun, it’s harmless, and no one will ever know. It’s not like Aggie can get into my head and see what I’m thinking. I’ll play it cool. I’m doing this for her, after all. It’s not like he’d ever like me in a million years. Aggie’s the one who has a real chance. With my tweet game and her looks, we’re a great package.
I’m at the cashier, paying for my lunch and already regretting my choice of meal. The lunch lady behind the counter said it was a chicken burrito, but it looks more like a wet lump of clay the art teacher would toss on a desk and instruct us to transform into a pot. It’s gray and on the soggy side. And that’s the outside of the burrito. Who knows what the inside is going to look like.
I take my change and head for our lunch table, bumping into Aggie on the way. “Hey, Aggie,” I say cheerily.
“You’re in an awfully good mood,” she says.
I nod. “It’s my happy day. Nothing can bring me down,” I tell her.
“Anything specific happen?”
“Nope,” I reply quickly. “Just feeling good. Are you getting hot lunch today?”
“Nah,” she says. “I brought a salad from home.”
I fill Aggie in on a few of the highlights of last night’s awesome conversation with Drew as we make our way to the lunch table. There are some things that I don’t want to tell her though, almost like I want to keep them private between Drew and me. Personal stuff, like what he told me about being alone all summer. Which I know is completely weird. But still I keep it to myself.
“There’s one other thing I should tell you,” I begin. “I think he’s trying to move on to the next step.”
Aggie stops walking abruptly and looks at me. “Seriously?”
I nod. “Yeah. He was trying to get a visual on what you look like. Don’t worry, I dodged him for now. Unless you’re ready for that of course.” I hold my breath. Please don’t be ready, please don’t be ready, I chant in my head.
Aggie’s eyes dart around the lunchroom. Almost like Drew is going to pop up from behind a beam or a garbage can. “Do you think I’m ready to talk to him face-to-face?”
I panic. If she takes over the relationship, then Drew and I stop talking. “Um, well, do you feel ready? I mean, if you’re still not sure, I can talk to him a little more online. You know, to really hook him for you.”
She considers this and then her face relaxes into a smile that looks like relief. “Okay. It sounds like you’re doing great making me sound good.”
“Yeah,” I agree, feeling incredibly guilty.
Madison and Alexa are already at our table when we arrive so I clam up on the Drew talk. “Hey, girls,” I say.
“Hi,” Alexa says. “Sit, sit, you’re just in time for Madison’s story about science class.”
“Okay,” Madison begins. “So Mrs. Barnwall is up at the Smart Board opening up an exercise she wants us to do, right? And while she’s not paying attention, Tony gets up and takes one of the lab mice—Squirt, I think it was—out of his cage and—”
Just then London arrives at our lunch table and plops down on a chair, sighing loudly.
We all glance at her and then Madison continues her story. “So like I was saying, Tony takes Squirt and opens up the cabinet at the back of the room where Mrs. Barnwall keeps her purse. Absolutely everyone is watching him, right?”
“Gah!” London says loudly. She lets her head fall back and her arms drop to her sides.
Aggie and I exchange glances.
Madison gives London a slight frown but continues, “Only instead of putting Squirt in her purse, he drops him on the floor, and everyone in class starts screaming.”
London folds her arms on the table and dramatically drops her head onto them with a thunk.
“Long story short, Mrs. Barnwall had to call the janitor in to catch the mouse,” Madison says quickly and then turns to London. “All right, what’s your deal? Are you sick or something?”
London slowly lifts her head and nods. “My life is over.”
We lean in and Aggie puts a comforting arm on London’s shoulder. “What happened?”
“It’s Adam,” she says, her voice wobbly. “I just saw him holding hands with,” she takes a deep breath, “Katie St. James.” She drops her head into her hands.
“Oh no,” Alexa says, covering her mouth with her fingers.
We all exchange devastated looks. London has it bad for Adam. This has to be breaking her heart. I know I would be upset if I saw Drew holding hands with someone. I mean, on Aggie’s behalf. I think.
I rack my brain for something to say that will make London feel better and quickly realize there isn’t anything that will do it. She sure doesn’t want to hear clichés about there being other fish in the sea or what-have-you. All we can do is be there for her.
“I’m so sorry, London,” I say as I get up and make my way over to her side of the table. I wrap my arms around her and squeeze. “This really, really sucks. You’ve got us, though.”
Madison, Alexa, and Aggie get up and join us in a group hug.
“Cici’s right,” Aggie says. “We’re here for you.”
I smile at my best friend and feel another wave of guilt. I definitely don’t want to be the one who causes her to have a broken heart. I need to reign in my feelings. And quickly.
11
The minivan is crowded with Mom, Dad, Luke, Aggie, me, and Luke’s huge, stinky hockey bag. I don’t know what he does it with it, but it always smells like he’s lugging around a dead body. Why do hockey players refuse to wash their gear? It’s disgusting. We’re on our way to watch Luke’s hockey game, and Aggie’s spending the night. I can’t wait to have an hour and a half of uninterrupted Drew-staring time, where no one can question me or think I’m weird because hey, I’m watching the game. Or at least one particular player in the game.
We’re dressed for the cold stands. I’m wearing a navy and white striped sweater and navy knitted cap, and Aggie’s got on a long sleeve pink shirt with a really cute turquoise scarf carefully wrapped around her neck. There’s still some time until the first period starts, so we head for the lobby to check out the video games and hit the snack bar for a hot chocolate.
I’m kicking butt on Ms. Pac-Man when I hear Drew clear his throat right behind me. I let go of the joystick and a ghost kills me. I spin around and am just inches away from him. “Oh! Hi, Drew,” I squeak out, completely freaking out on the inside. What if he can tell just by looking at me that I’ve been the one chatting with him online?
“Hey,” he says easily.
Okay, he’s not letting off any vibes that he knows it’s me. Calming down now.
“Shouldn’t you be getting ready for your game?” I ask. Not that I’m not jumping out of my skin happy that he’s standing here t
alking to me. He’s so, so cute all dressed up in his hockey gear, his blue eyes sparkling. I haven’t been this close to him when he’s been dressed for a game before and he looks gigantic. Which makes me feel even smaller.
“Yeah, I came out to fill up my water bottle.” He turns his attention to Aggie and flashes her a heart-stopping smile. “Hey, didn’t I see you at the school bonfire?”
Whoa. For a moment I forgot Aggie was even here. Or that I’m the one trying to get her and Drew together.
Aggie turns a deep shade of red.
“Yeah,” she replies softly. “I’m Aggie.”
Drew seems completely taken with Aggie, and it’s like I vanished right into thin air. “Yeah, Drew,” I say. “Aggie’s my best friend. She’s in seventh grade too. Like me.”
Aggie turns her head away, seemingly nervous.
I give Aggie a look, waiting for her to say something else. She’s really going to have to get over this shyness if she ever expects anything to happen with Drew. But she says nothing.
“Well, we were just about to go get some hot chocolate to bring back to the stands, so good luck in your game,” I tell him. I slip my arm through Aggie’s and drag her toward the snack bar.
“Nice meeting you, Aggie,” Drew says to our backs. I toss a glance over my shoulder and see him bite the corner of his lip as he watches Aggie go.
It’s the middle of the third period and the score is four to one, Drew having scored two of the goals. He’s looking right in our direction in the crowd. I glance at Aggie, and she’s staring straight down at her lap.
“Aggie,” I say in a low voice so my parents don’t overhear. “Can’t you see Drew is totally checking you out? You’re going to have to be able to talk to him at some point if you’re really interested.”
“I am interested. But maybe I’m not ready,” she says. “I’m too nervous and he’s too cute, and when he’s right there in my face like that, I just can’t do it. My mind goes blank.”
I nod. Maybe it’s for the best. Maybe she should just forget all about Drew.
“That’s why it’s so great that you’re helping me by talking to him online,” Aggie continues.
Okay, I guess she won’t be forgetting about Drew just yet.
The game ends 4-2, Luke and Drew’s team gets the win. How we survive the car ride home with Luke’s disgusting hockey bag stinking up the car, I’ll never know. I want to hang my head out the window like a dog to get air. Luke, of course, finds it amusing and keeps trying to push it toward me. He’s so annoying. Thankfully, Aggie’s sleeping over tonight, so Luke will stay far from us for the rest of the evening.
Aggie and I are in my room, playing around with my makeup case. She’s trying to create a “smoky eye” on me but it looks more like a smudgy mess.
I check myself in the mirror. “Ack, I’m scary looking! I can’t believe people go out in public like this.”
Aggie laughs. “Well maybe I did it wrong. Want me to try again?”
“Nah.” I reach for a makeup wipe and start cleaning the goop off my eyes.
Aggie’s staring at my laptop. “So, how many times have you talked to him?” she asks.
“Drew?” I stop wiping my face, suddenly nervous.
“Yeah.”
I don’t want to tell her the truth. “Um, not much. We’ve briefly chatted, like, three or four times now.” Suddenly I want her far, far away from my laptop. I don’t want her to pull up our conversations and read everything we’ve been writing. I know I shouldn’t feel this way, but I do.
“Wasn’t it so weird seeing him today, though? Like, he doesn’t have any idea that you are the girl he’s chatting online with.”
“Oh, yeah. Kinda. But he’s not going to find out. I mean, I’m doing it all for you.”
“But what if it turns out he really likes you and not me?” she asks.
I let out a laugh. “That’s one thing you’ll never have to worry about, Aggie. Drew would never like me like that in person.”
“You never know, he might,” Aggie says.
I shake my head. “I don’t think so. He sees me plenty in person, and I can tell he doesn’t think of me as anything other than Luke’s little sister. Sure, he’s nice to me and all. He’s never rude or anything, which makes me wonder how he’s even friends with my brother. But yeah, I don’t think he’d ever look at me in … that way.”
There’s an uncomfortable silence in the room.
“Not to mention, he’s your guy,” I add. Maybe I should have made that point earlier.
Aggie shrugs. “I don’t see how he’d ever really like me anyway, considering how strange I act any time he comes within five feet of me.”
“Of course he likes you! I can tell. The way he looks at you? It’s really obvious. If you stop staring at the ground, trying to avoid his eyes, you’ll notice next time,” I kid her.
A smile spreads across her face. I can tell I reassured her. “Listen,” I say. “I’ll start giving you details of everything we talk about online. And then you’ll be ready with something clever to say the next time you see him.”
“Yeah? What kind of things do you guys talk about?” Aggie asks.
“Oh, all kinds of stuff. Books, TV shows, hockey, music. We were even talking about Mr. Adwell, the gym teacher? Did you know he’s dating the school librarian? Guess he’s been checking out more than books.”
“Ewwww,” Aggie says. “They’re both like, a hundred years old.”
“Senior citizens need love too, Aggie. Don’t judge.” At this we both burst into giggles.
“Oh my gosh, oh my gosh.” Aggie’s wiping tears from her eyes. “I just keep picturing her in those long prairie skirts and clogs she wears all the time and him with his short shorts and whistle. And then it cracks me up all over again!”
“Stop, okay, stop, you’re making my side hurt!”
It’s good to laugh.
“Okay, it’s your turn for a makeover. Have a seat,” I tell Aggie, nodding to my desk chair. I pick up my eye shadow kit and set to work.
12
We dropped Aggie off at home earlier this afternoon, and all of my homework is done for Monday. I go online, looking to see if Drew has written. Talking with him has become more and more comfortable. We really are starting to be friends. If I can’t have him in real life, this is definitely the next best thing. Although, if I’m going to be truthful with myself, I know it’s only a matter of time before I don’t have this anymore—this anonymous cyber relationship thing we have going on. Eventually Aggie will get over her nerves when she’s talking to Drew and he’ll see how gorgeous she is, and then they’ll fall in love and that will be it. I’ll be back to just my everyday life. But for now, I’m just going to enjoy any little bit of him I get.
I check my direct messages, and I have a note waiting from Drew. I type a quick hello and a message immediately pops up from him.
There you are
I just happen to be online right now. Not stalking you at all.
Okaaaaaaay, that’s good to know, I guess?
Him stalking me is funny.
Really, I swear I’m normal. Though you probably know that. You know me already right?
????
Gah! I don’t know what to say! If I admit I know him, then he’ll think I’m some weirdo, tracking him down on the Internet. Which I am, but he doesn’t need to know that. It’s for a good cause.
I think you know me. Which isn’t fair because I have no clue who you are. Unless your real name happens to be Sera. Kind of doubt it though.
Aw, man. At least he’s still smiling though. I’ve got to try and switch the subject.
How was your weekend?
Pretty good.
We won our hockey game.
I scored two goals.
Awesome, congrats!
So tell me, do we know each other at school? Do I sit next to you in math or something?
He’s not going to let this go. Why does he have to know who I am? We’
re getting along so well semi-anonymously. Aggie’s not ready to talk to him in-person yet. And I can’t let him find out Sera is really me. He’d probably be all mortified and then go tell Luke, Dude, your little sister is harassing me online. Then Luke will tell Mom and Dad, and probably other kids at school, and I’ll be humiliated on a global level. He can NOT find out who I am! But I’ve got to say something.
No, I mean, no we don’t sit by each other in class or anything.
But yeah, I know you. Well, I’ve seen you.
We’re not like friends or anything.
Ouch. I’m hurt. We’re not friends?
I mean in real life we’re not friends. You’re totally my Twitter BFF!
I really don’t know you?
Why is he making this so hard?
No, I don’t think so. Not really.
Meet me.
I gasp. You know that feeling when you’re home alone and no one is supposed to be home for hours but then you hear a big thud in the basement, like someone is in the house, and you’re completely frozen in place with sheer panic? Yeah, that’s what’s going on right now.
You still there?
I look down at my hands, willing them to type, but they’re totally shaking.
Um, what?
Meet me.
Why not? We get along great. Let’s meet.
Oh man. Well, this is it, I guess. Aggie has to take over. I pick up the phone and call her. It goes to voicemail. I’ll have to stall him.
No, I don’t think so …
Why not? Do you have a boyfriend?
Cici Reno #MiddleSchoolMatchmaker Page 5