I made a decent living, though I could’ve made a boatload more if I went to work for one of the big four accounting firms. Unfortunately, that would mean long hours and no personal life to speak of. I was in what should be the prime of my life, and I had no desire to waste my time stuck in an office somewhere when I could be out trying to live my life.
If Edie hadn’t left me a rather large inheritance, I would’ve had to work my butt off just to make ends meet, and I most certainly wouldn’t have been able to afford to move to New York. I hoped to eventually build up my clientele and possibly open up an office where I could hire employees, but for the time being, I was living comfortably and trying to force myself to enjoy life.
Edie had a good bit of money tucked away from a huge plot of land she sold ages ago, which made up the bulk of my inheritance. She also had several investments that were worth way more money than I ever expected, and she also me the house.
It was a tough decision, but I ultimately decided to sell the home I grew up in to my friend, Paige. It didn’t feel like home for me anymore, not without Edie there, but I couldn’t bear to never go there ever again. Luckily, Paige was in the market to buy a home, and she’d stayed with Edie and me off and on over the years so it felt like home to her, too. I used the proceeds for my down payment and to get established in New York. I wholeheartedly knew Edie would have understood, and, in fact, had pretty much told me to do just that. She knew how in love I was with the city, and wanted me to fulfill my dream of moving there. She also knew I wouldn’t go while she was still around, so she left me the means to do it after she was gone.
The sadness crept back in as I reminisced about my grandmother while I contemplated where my life was heading and where it had been. I needed to get out of the mood I found myself in before it turned into a full on whole-pizza-eating, soda-guzzling, sweat-pants-wearing cry fest.
Manny could barely keep his eyes open as he blinked heavily at me. “Come on, old man. Let’s go take a nap.” He dragged his tired body up the stairs behind me to our new bedroom, and we quickly fell into a deep slumber.
* * *
Two Weeks Later…
Hurrying down the front steps, anxious to get to my destination, the sole of my shoe hit a patch of ice, causing me to almost fall and bust my ass. That’s all I needed. “Hey, Tori, I can’t come to your party because I fell and broke my ass.” I’d never live it down, and she would inevitably laugh hysterically at me. Note to self: invest in rock salt for the steps. They aren’t fucking around in New York when they say it’s going to get cold fast. It hadn’t been that long since I’d been soaking up the sun, strolling through my neighborhood. Now I was dodging ice and trying to stay warm.
I met Tori years ago in high school. We clicked pretty fast when she moved to town during sophomore year, and she quickly integrated into my circle of friends. By the middle of junior year, her father landed a new job in Manhattan and she was gone. We always kept in touch, and I tried to visit with her as often as I could on my trips to New York, which didn’t happen nearly as much as I’d liked them to, but enough. We’d gone several years from the time she moved and while we were both in college without seeing each other at all, but we still managed to stay close.
She met her husband, Matty, soon after she moved to Brooklyn. They were still going strong, despite the fame and attention his band received. I’d only spoken to him on the phone a few times because it seemed like he was always either on tour or in the studio. Every time I visited, he was on the road. I’d had the chance to meet him when they got married, but Edie’s health had already started to fail, and I couldn’t make it for their big day.
I rarely ever discussed the band with Tori. I liked Ferrum, but I didn’t want her to think that’s why I’d kept in touch with her over the years as they rocketed to stardom. She’d told me that she had to be cautious about who she befriended because on more than one occasion the person turned out to only be interested in getting close to the band or to Ash.
Managing to regain my composure, I walked to the subway station to take the train into Manhattan. I’d made sure to bundle up in my cute red pea coat as tight as I could to keep the cold out, but it was doing a half-assed job. I briefly considered taking a taxi to avoid the cold, but I did rather enjoy walking to the station in case I could catch a glimpse of the elusive Mr. Man Beast that lived three blocks away.
I hadn’t actually been brave enough to say hello to him the few times I’d seen him. The thought of it made me half nauseated. I was more careful to discreetly check him out. No more awkward stares. Though I knew what he looked like from afar, I had to imagine what he looked like up close. Knowing my luck with the men I was attracted to, I was sure he probably looked like a train wreck when you got within five feet of him, or if he was attractive, he was probably a total nut case. He probably didn’t resemble Ash London at all up close.
I tried not to think about him, but he continued to make regular appearances in my thoughts. It had been so long since I had been attracted to anyone that I felt like a teenager with my first real crush. Everything I was feeling was foreign to me, and I had trouble processing it all. So, I admired him from afar, content with what would never be.
A thought abruptly slammed into my mind as I got closer to his house. If he was indeed Ash London, then he’d be at the party Tori was throwing for the band. They’d signed a new record deal, and Tori loved planning big events. Just out of curiosity, I’d have to ask her if my sort-of neighbor was him or not.
I arrived at Club Scarlet around 9:15 where a huge line of people snaked around the corner. My stomach began to flip as I took in the chaos of the scene. I briefly contemplated turning back, but decided, since I had come all the way into Manhattan, I owed it to myself to stay and have at least one drink. Relief washed over me as I checked with the bouncer and was informed that my name was indeed on the guest list. Yes! No line for this girl! My first big night out in New York City, and I’m on the guest list. Take that, bitches!
I entered the packed club, and my eyes darted around as I searched for Tori in the sea of strangers. Feeling virtually non-existent in the packed club, a feeling of dread overtook me when I realized Tori was the only soul there I knew. I could have been abducted by some lunatic and no one would’ve ever missed me. I made an effort to push those thoughts aside and focus on finding her.
Scanning the bar area, I spotted a mane of wild, curly strawberry blonde hair and immediately recognized Tori. I pushed through the crowded room toward her, worrying that someone might step on my shoes. They were too expensive to have them trampled, and I really didn’t want to have to slap a bitch over a pair of shoes. Not that I would ever actually slap someone, but the thought does cross my mind at times.
Once I finally reached Tori, she grabbed my hand without saying a word, and pulled me to a section with tables roped off where it wasn’t quite so crowded.
“Lila, I want you to meet my husband, Matty. Matty, this is Lila.”
“Nice to finally meet you after all this time, darlin’.” He reached out to shake my hand, looked past me, and rolled his eyes. “Sorry to be rude, but I’ve been summoned. Don’t want to piss off the brains of this operation. Excuse me,” he said as he walked off somewhere behind me.
“Damn it. He was so excited to meet you. Bad timing, I guess.”
I nodded and smiled. This was my chance to ask her if the man beast was Ash. I’d meant to find out before, but she’d been so busy those last couple of weeks with planning the party that I hadn’t had the chance.
“Hey, let me ask you something. It might sound silly, but does Ash live near me?” I glanced to my left, hoping to maybe catch an eyeful of Ash wherever he might be, before looking back at her.
“He does. He lives a few blocks away from you.”
“I’ve seen him a few times, but didn’t think it was really him.”
“You’re blushing!” The corners of her mouth turned up and a giggle escaped her lips.
&
nbsp; “No, I’m not!” Red heat spread out from my cheeks, giving me away despite my protests. “Yeah, maybe I am just a little. I’m embarrassed now,” I said as I quickly looked down at the floor again.
“You want to meet him? I could introduce you. That’s who Matty was just talking about summoning him.”
“No! I’d probably just make a fool of myself.” I was absolutely sure that I would, too. I was positive I would forget how to speak or stumble over my words like a bumbling fool.
“Alright, then. I’m sure you’d be fine, though. If you change your mind, just tell me,” she said as she was pulled away by a short brunette woman. “Sorry,” she mouthed to me before disappearing into the crowd.
I ordered a martini at the bar and sat down at a small empty table nearby. A group of people dressed mostly in black with thin chains and studs adorning various areas of their clothes came over and started discussing the band with me. I was fairly certain they’d seen my interaction with the Tabors and thought I had more of a connection to Ferrum than I actually had. It was no wonder Tori didn’t usually flaunt who her husband was, especially if just being around her and Matty for a few minutes lured these people to my table.
A short, olive skinned girl named Jackie gave me her number so we could hang out sometime. I was happy to make another desperately needed friend, but quickly realized that there was a good possibility she was trying to use me to get closer to Ferrum and probably Ash, too. I wasn’t so desperate for company that I would allow myself to be used like that, not that I could really get her all that close to the band anyway.
As my martini began to take effect, I felt myself loosening up and becoming more relaxed. I was easily able to keep up with the conversation within the small group. Even though I would listen to just about anything that didn’t suck, heavier music always had a place in my heart because I’d made it through some pretty tough times in my life with the aid of the bands I loved. I was familiar with most of the bands and musicians the small group discussed, including Ferrum.
The first time I heard Ash’s voice was on a crappy CD Tori mailed to me once upon a time. It was recorded long before the band was ever even on the radar of any record companies. The quality wasn’t great but they had noticeable talent. Ash possessed an amazing range, but his rich, deep tone was what really stuck with me. He had one of those voices that you just couldn’t shake no matter how hard you tried. It stayed with you for days.
I occasionally caught glimpses of Ash here and there as I observed the crowd, though how could I miss him? He towered over everyone around him. Every time I spotted him, he had women hanging on him and clinging to him like they would die if he walked away, like he alone was their sole life source. He seemed to be enjoying their company immensely—laughing and leaning into them as they spoke. Why wouldn’t he, though? I didn’t know any straight men who wouldn’t enjoy that kind of attention from one female, let alone a hundred of them. He really did look delicious, and his smile was one of the sexiest I’d ever seen.
I couldn’t imagine ever having a real relationship with someone like him, and I was convinced the opportunity would never present itself anyway. I knew deep down I’d feel like he was cheating on me every chance he got. Been there, done that, had enough the first time. I wasn’t one to just sleep with someone and move on either, so that was out, too. At least I could still enjoy the view.
The night wore on, and I had scarcely seen Tori all evening because she’d been super busy being the party hostess. I had a few more drinks than I originally planned, and the party was over for me. I didn’t want to end up drunk off my ass. Heels and alcohol with a potential for ice on the sidewalks was not a good mixture, and I had almost fallen and busted my ass once already. I stood up to put on my coat. My plan was to find Tori before I left so I could say goodbye. Unfortunately, my plan didn’t quite work out.
Before I had time to react, a body slammed into me and I was falling, expecting to hit the ground hard. Gravity was not my friend. Visions of cool people led by Ash London who were not having any sort of gravitational problems turning to point and laugh as I fell flashed before my eyes. I could see them doubled over as they guffawed in my face while I struggled to get away. Okay, so my imagination might have gone off on its own there for a second.
But the strangest thing happened; the ground didn’t rush up to meet my face, and I wasn’t falling. I looked down to see who or what had saved me from a humiliating face plant. Massively strong arms wrapped around me. A hard, muscled body pressed against me. I raised my head to see who the arms belonged to so I could thank them or apologize. I wasn’t entirely sure which one yet, maybe both.
CHAPTER 4 – ASH LONDON
The party was for me, but I was so over it. I was tired of putting on a show like I was some kind of goddamn circus sideshow act, and just wanted to go home, sprawl out on my couch, and have a quiet night watching re-runs of Seinfeld. I often wondered how many of the women flocking around and hanging on my every word would want to spend an evening with me watching the antics about nothing from Jerry, George, Elaine and Kramer. I doubted any of them would actually enjoy that kind of night even if they claimed it would be the greatest thing ever.
Most of them would be shocked to know I enjoyed such mundane things and that I wasn’t much of a rebel anymore. They’d want to fuck me or do pills just so they could say they bedded or partied with a rock star. Pills were never really my thing, but everyone seemed to think they were. Probably because I did indulge on them once upon a time when I couldn’t get what I really wanted. I could walk off my tour bus on any given night and be offered any kind of pharmaceutical you could think of at least three times before I ever made it inside the venue. Cocaine was a little harder to get my hands on at times and harder to hide when I’d done it, so I let the people around me think I was a pill head just like the rest of them. I hadn’t had anything harder than alcohol in years though and had no desire for it anymore.
Speaking of things I had no desire for anymore, I was so fucking tired of meaningless fucking sex. I couldn’t remember the last time I’d actually made love to a woman and was desperate to feel that kind of connection again. A real conversation with a woman that did not involve Ferrum, or music at all for that matter, was what I craved. Any one of the ladies around me that night could’ve fit the bill if they’d only treated me like I was a regular dude instead of a rock god, which I never really understood anyway. Yeah, I sing and I can play some instruments. What’s the big fucking deal? Why does that automatically put me on some kind of pedestal above the masses?
A deep connection with another human being was what I longed for, not a few minutes of pleasure with a nameless partner. I tried so many times to cut back on random hookups and focus on finding a woman to love, but I didn’t believe it was truly in the stars for me. I’d never be able to maintain a stable relationship with being gone all the time. No one would ever put up with the neglect that inevitably went along with being in a relationship with a touring musician.
Fuck it. I’m done. As I walked toward the exit, I noticed her, and stopped dead in my tracks. She was the same girl from my neighborhood, the one who had caught my attention that I hadn’t been able to get out of my mind. I have to admit, I was a little disappointed to know that she was, in fact, a fan and probably would have no interest in getting to know the real me, just like the rest of them.
I mulled over what I should do for a moment, and decided to move a little closer to get a better look. After all, she did look incredibly hot in those red heels and the seam of my jeans got tighter and tighter the longer I looked at her. I’m not really ashamed to say I only had one thing on my mind while watching her. Even though I thought I was over meaningless sex, there was no reason really to leave by myself. Might as well take the opportunity to get laid if she’s willing. Old habits die hard.
CHAPTER 5 – LILA STEPHENS
“Are you okay?” A genuine look of concern covered his face as he peered down at me.
“Stay right there,” he said sternly and turned toward the drunk.
I did as I was told and stayed. I couldn’t physically move anyway. My feet were glued to the floor, and my legs had forgotten how to function. I was surprised they were still able to hold me up. He walked a few feet away and grabbed the drunk guy, dragging him back to where I stood.
“Apologize to her, asshole. You knocked her down and then laughed instead of making sure she was okay. What kind of fucking douche bag does that?” He looked so intimidating to me, and I began to tremble a little. The look in his deep blue eyes had turned from concern to anger as he stared down at the drunkard. I thought for a moment that he might actually throat punch the guy.
Damn if he didn’t look just as good up close as I had hoped he would, even in such a pissed off state. No train wreck here.
“Sorry, man,” the guy said as he looked up at Ash. The height difference between the two was almost comical. Ash was like a giant compared to the drunkard, who wasn’t even as tall as me in my heels.
“I said apologize to her,” he pointed in my direction, “not me.”
“Sorry.” The drunk said as he turned toward me.
“It’s ok, really, but maybe next time you should try apologizing instead of laughing,” I somehow mustered the courage to say. I was in complete awe of what was going on in front of me, and I couldn’t recall anyone ever standing up for me like that before.
“Now get the fuck outta here,” Ash said as he pushed the guy away hard. He turned to me as the drunk stumbled and scurried away. I hadn’t noticed before that he had a slight Brooklyn accent, mixed with a hint of something else, though I couldn’t decipher what it was. I never detected it listening to him sing, but once I heard it, I knew I could never get enough of listening to him speak. It was no wonder he was such a beast of a man. He had to be in order to carry around all that sex.
Take Me On (Take Me Series Book 1) Page 3