“I could arrange an alibi easily enough.”
“I’m so sleepy, Ash. I want to stay awake with you the rest of the night, but I don’t think I can.”
“We should probably get some sleep. I don’t want to be dragging my ass tomorrow. I don’t like going onstage for almost two hours when I can’t keep my eyes open.”
“Night.” I rolled over and scooted my back as close to him as I could get.
He wrapped his arms around me and kissed the back of my head. “Good night, my sweet Lila.”
* * *
As I awoke, images flashed through my mind of the passion I had shared with Ash the night before. I slid my arm across the sheet to find him. I needed to touch him to know it was all real, and not some cruel, yet awesome, dream my brain had cooked up.
There was nothing. He was gone. I sat up in bed, listening, hoping to hear him in the bathroom or the kitchen, but silence echoed throughout the condo. It was as if he’d never been there. The bathroom was empty of any of the clothes he had worn the night before. I checked my phone for missed texts or calls, and there was nothing. I desperately headed to the kitchen, willing there to be a note on the counter telling me he’d be right back, but there was nothing.
I slipped into the closest pants and shirt I could find, grabbed the key card to his room, and quickly made my way to his front door. Holding my breath, I swiped the card. Red light. I swiped it again. Red light. I swiped it a third time, slower than before. Red light. I knocked, and waited. Nothing. He was gone.
My stomach began to churn as I started to feel like I might dry heave. I entered my room and immediately went back to bed. Numbness overtook my body as I tried unsuccessfully not to think the worst.
How could I have been so stupid? He got what he wanted from me. Why would he stick around now? I was a game to him this whole time. He was no better than any other man I’ve been with.
Finally, the front door opened, and I barely heard it through the cocoon I’d made around myself. I thought to myself that it was probably just housekeeping, and that I shouldn’t be too hopeful that it was him. Did I put the “do not disturb” sign out the night before? Doubtful.
The bedroom door opened, and he was there. Tears began to stream down my face as I realized how foolish I had been.
“What’s wrong?” He sat down beside me and brushed my hair back out of my face.
“I thought…” I took a deep breath, trying to calm myself. “I thought you were gone…” Wiping my cheeks dry, I shook my head and felt like a blubbering idiot.
“I just went to the gym, which, by the way, was pathetic with its one treadmill and no weights. I wanted to get in a quick workout while you were still sleeping. I wouldn’t have left without saying goodbye, and besides that, we have until late tonight before I leave anyway.”
I started to laugh at how stupid and irrational I had been. He looked at me as if I were a lunatic. “I’m sorry. I know I must look ridiculous right now. I thought you left. Like, were gone for real and never coming back. Not just gone off on tour without saying goodbye.”
“Why would I do that?”
“Just trying to fuck me all along and got what you wanted?”
“Well, I have wanted to fuck you all along, but I think what we did last night was more than fucking.”
I blushed, and looked away.
“I’m sorry you got so freaked out, baby,” he said as he took my hand in his. “I’ll text you next time, okay?”
“Okay. Please? I even went to your room, and the card didn’t work.”
“Shit. That’s my fault for sure. I checked out this morning, and sent my stuff with some of the crew to put on the bus. I guess I forgot to grab the card I gave you. I had no intention of spending any more time over there.” He placed his hand on the small of my back. “I brought you some breakfast. Thought you’d be hungry since we didn’t go to dinner last night.”
“I guess I am. I mean I thought I was gonna dry heave a little bit ago. No cookies in my stomach to toss.” We both laughed and headed to the kitchen. A bag and a huge container of biscuits and gravy from the hotel restaurant sat on the counter, and it smelled divine.
Ash lifted something out of the bag. He turned around holding a bottle of champagne.
“Champagne? Did you bring orange juice, too? I love mimosas.”
“Nope. Just champagne. I wanted to celebrate,” he said as he popped the cork over the sink and fizz came pouring out of the top. He poured the liquid into two champagne flutes he’d found in the cabinet, and handed one to me.
“To us,” he said, lifting his glass. I raised my glass to his and clinked it.
“To us,” I said before taking a sip of the bubbly goodness.
He drained his glass and set it down on the counter before taking a step to me and wrapping his arms around me. “You’re finally mine, and I’m never letting you go.”
CHAPTER 31 – LILA STEPHENS
Two months later…
I frantically went from room to room, cleaning and tidying up. Those next few days were going to be busy, and I had too much stuff to do to get ready. Ash was coming home the next day, and I hadn’t seen him in two months. Paige was coming to visit the day after that and this would be the first time I told her anything about Ash. She’d shit her pants, figuratively of course, once she realized who I was seeing. It wasn’t the sort of thing you tell someone over the phone. She’d think I was joking if she didn’t see it with her own eyes. In addition to her visit, Manny had a vet appointment later that afternoon. I also had a ton of work to finish up before either one them arrived so I could be somewhat ahead and could take a breather.
As much as I wanted to go to Ash every chance I got, I decided it was as good a time as any to put our relationship to the test to see how we did with so much time apart. I thought we were doing fine, but was anxious to see how we would be together for however much time we had before he went back on the road. I planned on savoring every second of him being home and hoped he was being serious when he’d said he was putting the touring thing on hold for a while. I truly believed he needed a break from everything.
While he was on the road, we spoke numerous times a day, texted and video chatted, but my body ached to be one with his again. We had only made love the one time, and I was ready for more. I wanted to know if it would always be that great or if it was just the release of so many negative feelings that felt so good.
I still felt like it was all a dream, and that I would wake up any second to him still being the unattainable rock star down the street. I gave myself a quick pinch, and to my surprise, it actually hurt like hell.
CHAPTER 32 – ASH LONDON
Eighteen hours from home. Eighteen hours until I had her in my arms again. Eighteen hours after that last fucking show that felt like it would never end. I stood at the side of the stage stretching my fingers and trying to hydrate myself before the encore.
The crowd roared as the lights went down. Chanting of my name echoed around me, but it didn’t matter. I wanted to be at home getting lost in Lila. This was just an obstacle I had to overcome before I could get to her. The crowd demanded more, but I was spent.
Living the rock star life was not on my agenda that night. I wanted nothing more than to get a shower and head to the bus so I could sleep the time away until I’d be home. It sounded so simple, yet there was no way in hell I would actually be able to accomplish my goal without pissing off the fans that had managed to get backstage and the ones I knew would be waiting for me outside.
Trying to sleep on the bus while everyone else lived it up was damn near impossible. Sleeping around a bunch of people drunk or high on fuck-knows-what was never a good combination. It wasn’t uncommon for someone to wake up with no eyebrows or half their head shaved, though no one had the balls to try and shave my head.
I finally stepped off stage after our last song to a throng of waiting fans, mostly women who were doing everything in their power to get close to me. Their scr
eams were deafening, drowning out my own thoughts. My bass tech shoved a bottle of Grey Goose into my hand, despite my protest. It was my own fault, really. I could drink anyone under the table, mostly due to the tolerance I’d built up over the years, but being 6’5” and, well, huge helped, too.
I could’ve had my choice of any of those women if I’d chosen to do so, but the urge for random hookups had gone away once I met her. She and the possibilities our future were worth more to me than a night of sex.
“Ash! Ash! I love you Ash!” A tall, skinny brunette yelled to me.
Yeah, right. She didn’t know who I really was, how could she love me? She was in love with the person she had made me out to be in her fantasies. The same thing happened night after night, no matter where we found ourselves. Same shit, different city. I was anxious to get off that hamster wheel.
As usual, I stopped to sign a few autographs and pose for a few pictures. Generally, I would re-emerge to greet fans a little later once I was good and drunk and wasn’t so sweaty. It was something I usually enjoyed doing, but my heart and mind just weren’t in it anymore. I needed to get away from it all, though I didn’t see any end in sight. I knew as soon as I got home, the record company would expect us to go right back out. Our last album had been out a little over a year, and they’d had it planned for us to tour practically nonstop for two years in support of it. We’d signed a new deal with them, but they still expected us to promote the last album before starting on the next one.
It was about that time that the brunette pushed her way to the front of the crowd to get to me. She threw her arms around me, pulling me down to her so she could speak into my ear. I made sure to keep my lips away from her. I didn’t want a repeat incident of how I’d almost fucked things up before.
“I’m free for days in case you’re wondering. If you’d like some company. You wouldn’t regret it.”
“No. I’m quite sure I would regret it,” I said as I freed myself from her arms and stomped to my dressing room.
I’ve got to get the hell out of here.
CHAPTER 33 – LILA STEPHENS
Finally, after a good two hours of tossing and turning, I fell asleep, though I was having trouble staying asleep. I’d woken up every hour or so until the wee hours of the morning before finally staying asleep. I had hoped sleep would make time pass quickly for me, but the minutes dragged by at a snail’s pace when I couldn’t manage to lose consciousness. Ash would be there the next afternoon, and I wanted more than anything to hit a fast forward button on life so it could be time for him to be there.
At some point close to dawn, I could make out a low growl from Manny that ended just as suddenly as it started. Peaceful oblivion was still in control, and I didn’t bother to wake up and see what was going on. Somewhere in my mind, I knew he was growling at a car outside or some noise in the distance.
The bed beside me shifted heavily, and my heart quickened as terror raged through my body. This was not Manny, and I was about to scream at the top of my lungs though I wasn’t sure it would do any good. I took a deep breath, and just as the scream was about to escape, I heard his words.
“Wake up, baby. I’m here.”
I rolled to my back and saw him above me, just as his lips crashed into mine. My arms shot out to envelope his neck, pulling him closer to me. Kissing me deeper, he positioned himself between my legs as I wrapped them around his body. As he continued kissing me, he pushed my nightgown up, and with one swift yank, my panties were torn away from my body.
I struggled to unbutton his pants, as he took charge in removing them. After his pants were kicked off, he entered me with wild abandonment as waves of pleasure pulsed throughout my body. Our bodies moved in unison as the pace picked up, faster and harder until we both found our release quickly. He collapsed on top of me, kissing my shoulder before moving to lay beside me.
Through fast breaths I said, “Where did you come from?”
He took a few deep breaths and said, “I decided to fly back at the last minute. I couldn’t stand the thought of being on that bus another second knowing you were here waiting. I had the worst case of blue balls you can imagine. The sooner I got to you, the better.”
“I’m glad you did. That was a nice surprise,” I said, smiling at him. “You owe me a pair of underwear.” I slapped his chest lightly.
“I’d buy you new underwear everyday if I could keep ripping them off you like that.”
“I suppose I could just start going commando.”
He shook his head. “I like the panties. I like ripping the panties. Can’t do that if you’re not wearing any,”
“True. Wait… How the hell did you get in here? You don’t have a key.”
“I might have knocked on someone’s door in the middle of the night and borrowed a key.”
“I can’t believe Tori didn’t throat punch you for waking her up.”
“She might have tried…” he chuckled. “Seriously though, she didn’t mind.”
“So, now what?” I asked, nipping at his chest, hoping maybe he was ready to go another round.
Kissing the top of my head, he said, “I’ve been traveling all night. I’m exhausted. Can we sleep now?”
I couldn’t be disappointed. Having him there holding me was all I really needed anyway. “Of course.”
* * *
Not surprisingly, I woke up before Ash. I knew he’d be worn out from being on the road, and I had to get the guest room in order anyway for Paige.
I had just bought a new bed a few days before and needed to get it made up. Not wanting her to be uncomfortable in my mess, I needed to clean up some work papers I had laying around and organize them.
Slipping out of bed quietly, I made my way across the hall. Normally, I would have taken a shower first thing, but I could smell him on me, and I wasn’t ready to wash him away just yet. Besides, maybe he would want to join me like he had done our first time together. I docked my phone to a little speaker and started a playlist of love songs as I got to work.
About an hour into organizing, one of my favorite songs of all time, “Wicked Game” by Chris Isaak, began to play. I stopped for a minute to really listen to the song, like I had done so many times before. I suddenly felt like someone was watching me, and looked across the hall. He sat up in bed with heavy hooded eyes glued to me. The corner of his mouth drew up as he smirked. Strands of dark hair hung messily, framing his face, as he tucked some of it behind his ear and out of his face.
He began to speak. “You have no idea how fucking amazing you look right now. Wicked Game, indeed....Come back to bed, please?”
What else was there to do but grant his request? I took off in a full sprint and jumped into the bed as he grabbed me and flipped me onto my back, tickling me.
He stopped suddenly, and peered down at me. “I’m sorry. You don’t like being tickled. I forgot…”
“I don’t, but it’s okay because it’s you. Things were different last time,” I said, putting my arms around his neck and pulling him down to kiss me.
“Shit,” he said against my lips.
“What’s wrong?” I asked.
“Last night… I didn’t, um… Use anything.”
I crinkled my brows as I stared up at him for a second before it dawned on me what he meant. “Oh…”
“I swear I haven’t been with anyone but you, and I get tested regularly. I’m clean. I promise.”
“I trust you, Ash... But you better not have knocked me up.”
“Fuck.” The color drained out of his face as I burst out laughing. “What’s so funny?”
“I’m on birth control,” I said, giggling.
“Thank fuck. Not that I’d never have a baby with you. I don’t mean that,” he stammered.
“Relax rock star. You should’ve seen your face. I thought you didn’t get flustered so easily.”
“I don’t usually… Why are you on birth control if you’ve not been with anyone in so long?”
“Because af
ter being violated, I wanted to make sure I protected myself as much as I could in case it happened again. I’ve been on it ever since.”
He laid down beside me and took me in his arms. “That reminds me, did you get that counselor yet? You haven’t said anything else about it.”
“Yes, and I’ve been to see her already.”
“How much was it?”
“I’m not telling.”
“I told you I’d pay for it, and I want to.”
“You don’t need to.”
Sighing, he said, “We’ll see… So how did it go? Was it what you expected?”
“It was difficult. It felt weird to tell a complete stranger, but it wasn’t as hard as it was when I told you. She recommended some different support groups, and I go to see her twice a month. I haven’t told Tori or Paige yet, but I plan to soon. I just haven’t worked up to it yet, though I’ll probably tell Paige while she’s here. It might help me to have more people who understand.”
“Sounds like you’re on the right track. Whatever you need from me, let me know.”
“I just need you, that’s all.”
“I think I can accommodate that request,” he said, kissing my neck before we spent the whole afternoon in bed.
* * *
One quiet evening while we watched a campy old horror flick at Ash’s house, his cell phone rang out as he picked it up off the coffee table. Frowning, he said, “I don’t want to answer this but I have to. It’s Mack from the label calling with the next round of dates.” He stood and walked into the kitchen as he answered the phone.
He’d tried, apparently unsuccessfully, to get time off from touring. He’d used every excuse in the book, but the record label always came back with the same answer. Our relationship had grown tremendously in the two months he’d been home, and the pangs of missing him began to filter through me at the thought of him leaving.
We’d been officially together for over four months, but would we make it through another round of dates. Those two months in the beginning that I had to wait for him sucked royally. I didn’t know if I could stay away the next time. I began to think about cutting back my workload so I didn’t feel so guilty about going with him. It wasn’t the best business decision, but I’d finally found something akin to love, and I was willing to do anything to keep it.
Take Me On (Take Me Series Book 1) Page 21