She huffed a breath. “I’ve said a lot since then. You just zoned out ninety percent of what I said.”
Shit. John guessed it was important for her that he understood her too, but he had a knack for storing information in compartments to access later. Claims of notoriety. That’s what she said. “There are people who are claiming responsibility.”
That seemed to satisfy her. “Can you believe that? We’ve had at least twenty come in. I need to narrow it down. Maybe tonight. But we have a more urgent matter.”
“What?”
“I need to pee.”
Nadia raced into the apartment. John was right behind her and shut the door, muffling the protests from Clyde and Dugal who followed them.
“I can’t believe they were waiting to ambush us on the second floor,” she groused. “It’s almost midnight.”
“Where are the pregnancy tests?”
“Can we do it tomorrow?” she cried when he grabbed her arm to stop her from entering the bathroom. “John!”
“We’re doing it now,” he dictated with a determination and fierceness she felt all the way between her legs. Oh God, she really needed to pee. That last macchiato seriously did her in.
“It’s on my vanity. In the bedroom.”
“Stay here,” he clipped. “Do not move. If you move—”
“John! Will you just freaking get it?”
She danced in place, her bladder about to explode. He came back with two boxes, already extracting the stick from one and giving it to her.
“Take two. If one fails, we have a back-up.” He unboxed the other and handed it to her.
“Whatever.” With sticks clutched, she ran into the bathroom, slamming the door.
The moment she sat on the toilet, immense relief flowed out from her.
Pounding came from the door. “Don’t forget!”
“Not sure I want you for a baby daddy with that bossiness!” she yelled, picking up one stick and doing as he ordered.
“Don’t jinx it.”
“You … what?” Her voice caught on that statement. Did he mean he wanted her to be positive?
“Don’t forget the second one.”
“Do you have X-ray vision?” she grumbled, her ire returning. She laid the first stick carefully on a few squares of toilet paper and picked up the second to do the same. When she was done, she got up and washed her hands, and then opened the door.
John was standing in front of the bathroom, leaning against the wall, arms crossed.
“Five minutes.” His gaze went past her and zeroed in on the two sticks that could determine their future. Whatever that meant.
“Oh my God,” she mumbled, hands covering her face.
“Yeah,” he grinned, drawing her into his arms, one hand behind her head, resting her face on his chest.
She glanced up, and puffed a short laugh. “I can’t believe we’re doing this.”
His grin widened. “Believe it.”
“But…”
“No buts, babe, if you’re not pregnant, it doesn’t change what we’re trying to build here.”
“What are we trying to build here, John?”
“You and me,” he said seriously. “I like the kind of man I am with you.”
Her heart somersaulted upon hearing those words, and as much as she thrilled to hearing them, there was still a part of her that threw out all alarms.
A part of her that rationalized how John was all kinds of wrong for her because he was too complicated.
The girl in high school who was never popular and never attracted the attention of the jock.
The woman who overcame all that, who thought she was finally happy in her own skin, until this man barreled into her life and showed her she could have more.
She was teetering on the precipice of heady feelings, not to mention sex with this man was a mind-and-body-altering experience.
And Nadia was just greedy enough to take the leap. Or was she?
John’s eyes searched hers. “I know I’m not getting through to you yet.”
“I still need to understand what has changed from Mexico until now. You’ve been you for a long time. How can you suddenly change your nomadic and clandestine lifestyle?”
“Ask yourself that question.”
“I love being in one place.”
“Yes, it’s safe, isn’t it?”
Her mouth flattened.
“For years, I was comfortable with who I was,” he said. “The jackass who didn’t care much about anyone’s feelings, with the singular goal to get a job done. People I continue to work with understood that, and, to some extent, we shared the same values which made the detachment easy. Understood that men like me are needed so others won’t have to get their hands dirty.” He let out an extensive sigh. “But I wasn’t always this way. I cared, Nadia, but caring too much got people killed. But … today was eye opening.”
“Bristow sent me a video of you being badass while shirtless,” Nadia grinned.
John chuckled. “Yeah … today I realized I missed the man I used to be.”
“Is that man going to stay?” she asked.
“I hope so.”
Not a straight answer, but she didn’t expect him to promise anything. Everything was still new between them, even though they’d known each other for over a year.
“So,” she said as she turned to look at those sticks sitting on the bathroom counter.
His brows furrowed as he glanced at his watch. “They should be good. Come on.”
He tugged her along and together they entered the bathroom, stopping over the sticks that would define how they moved forward.
She stared at them and blinked.
John came around her, hugged her from behind, and rested his chin on her shoulder.
“Hello, mama,” his voice rumbled.
Her breath swooshed out.
Two pink lines on one, and the other one said: “pregnant.”
18
He was going to be a father.
Fuck.
John was excited, and a little bit terrified, but he’d been prepared for this possibility for weeks. He could even say he had hoped for it.
Nadia turned in his arms, chin tilted up, eyes huge. “I’m really pregnant.”
“Hey, now,” he said in amusement. “Are you claiming all the hard work?”
Her expression grew pensive. “Are you sure you’re okay with this?”
John cupped her face so she couldn’t look away. “Listen up. I’ll admit to the same panic you had when I found the torn condom. But clinging to the hope that you might be pregnant gave me a semblance of self-preservation in that dungeon.”
“What do you mean?”
“My objective was surviving and getting back to you,” he said. “You heard about the time I nearly got beheaded by Al-Qaeda?”
“Gabby told me about it.” Nadia shuddered. “That really happened that way?”
John nodded. “I was reckless at times in wanting to push my enemy’s buttons. Call it an instinct, that drive to fulfill a mission at all costs.” And no consequence to his own life. “But fear sometimes is good.” He stared at her intensely. “My biggest fear is leaving you alone and pregnant.”
“That’s just it. Will being with me and our baby make you less effective in your job?”
John thought back to all his friends that had recently married. Kade, Roarke, and Walker. His thoughts also strayed to Antonio Andrade—the billionaire who fell for Charly—the CDC’s spunky virologist. Complete opposites, but somehow they fell in love. “I think the solution is not putting myself in a situation that makes me ineffective.” John had a feeling a different kind of ruthlessness would surface.
“And you’re okay with that?”
He grinned briefly. “I think it’s time I slowed down. Put down roots.”
Nadia still looked doubtful.
“I know you still need convincing, but I’d rather show you than tell you.”
The corners of he
r lips tilted up. “A man of action.”
He grinned roguishly. “That’s right.”
“Let’s see what kind of man-of-action you’ll turn out to be.”
“Hit me with what you’ve got.”
“You’ll be at every doctor’s appointment and birthing class.”
He stilled, and with difficulty, swallowed the knot in his throat. “Okay.”
“And if I have any middle-of-the-night cravings, you’re going to satisfy them.”
“I heard pregnancy makes women horny.”
Nadia rolled her eyes.
John chuckled. “Did you realize …”
“That I rolled my eyes … that seems to be the urge with you recently. I finally gave in.”
There was a knock on the kitchen door followed by, “Nadia…”
She exhaled a resigned breath. “That’s Dad.”
“What do you want to tell him?”
“I sort of want to keep this to ourselves for tonight.”
“I agree. Although I think Dugal and Clyde were more concerned about the pileup this morning.”
“Yes. So, let’s just show our faces?”
John agreed and ushered her to the kitchen. Nadia leaned against him, and he figured she was still dealing with the shock of finding out she was going to be a mother.
He yanked open the door and they both stared at their nighttime visitors.
Stephen and Clyde in front.
Dugal and Arthur behind them.
“Are you both okay from this morning’s pileup?” Stephen asked. “I know you sent me that text, but that’s what’s all over the evening news and the images are horrible.”
“We’re fine,” Nadia said.
“I thought I saw your Subaru,” Dugal said.
“Yep, that was mine,” she answered. “I was just glad John was with me. Otherwise, I would have been t-boned from the side.”
“You would have seen it,” John said grimly.
“Well, we just wanted to make sure you were both okay,” Stephen said, turning to walk away. Clyde was still staring at Nadia expectantly.
John cleared his throat in an obvious way and awarded Nadia’s nosy neighbor a look.
“Oh, yeah,” the short man said. “We’ll leave you both to rest.”
“Thanks,” John said firmly and without waiting for all of them to turn away, he shut the door.
“Wow,” Nadia said as they headed into the kitchen. “You’re quite the warden.”
“You bet your ass I am. Anyone giving you a hard time, you send them to me.” John leaned a hip against the counter as she opened the fridge and ducked in to rummage through its contents. Guess he’d have to get used to his woman always being hungry.
His woman.
He liked the sound of that.
“I hope that doesn’t include my bosses at work.” Nadia straightened from the fridge with a bowl in her hand.
“You know me better than that,” he said, even when he knew it could become a lie. This overwhelming urge to protect her, to be the buffer against anything that could upset her or harm her, surprised him. John was including himself in that assessment.
He erased the distance between them and took the bowl from her hand, setting it on the counter.
“Hey, rule one,” Nadia warned. “Don’t get between a pregnant woman and her food.”
“So you’re playing the pregnancy card now?”
“Every opportunity I get.”
“Fair enough,” he said. “But this is new territory for both of us. There’s going to be a learning curve. I may irritate the fuck out of you. In return, you’ll give me more gray hair, but what we won’t do is blame this pregnancy when the going gets tough between us.” At the question in her eyes, he continued, “I’m finding myself protective as hell over you. If anybody complains to you about it, that’s not your problem, it’s mine. Send them to me.”
She looked at him doubtfully. “Not sure about that. You might get me fired.”
“Luckily, you report to Kelso and Gabby. They’re used to me.”
“Still, I don’t need you to fight my battles,” she argued. “Don’t get me wrong, I feel all warm and dainty when you say these things, but the woman who worked so hard to get the LAPD to give her one of the most advanced forensic labs in the county is itching to kick you in the balls.”
He choked on a laugh. “Noted. You wouldn’t be the woman I—” he caught himself at what he nearly said. “I’m obsessing about.”
Her mouth quirked. She caught that. Nadia picked up the bowl John had snatched away from her and popped it in the microwave.
“What are you eating?”
“I have a craving for day-old, greasy, shrimp fried rice.”
“You’re very specific.”
“I’m pregnant, so be warned,” she sassed, then she announced that she needed to take a shower and flounced off. Doors opened and closed. There were two rooms but only that one bathroom in the hallway. The water turned on, and he tried very hard to ignore the stirring in his jeans. How long had it been since he’d been inside her?
Over two weeks, but he had a taste of her this morning, and he was dying for more. She was as fucking sweet as he remembered. He was all kinds of stupid for promising not to fuck her until she made the first move, yet there was still a part of him that wanted to give her that choice. Because as John was finding out, he didn’t want to give Nadia many choices when it came to him. In fact, they were sleeping together tonight in one bed, with him wrapped around her.
Dammit. He was some fucking possessive son of a bitch.
Did he care? No.
The microwave dinged with Nadia’s food and he walked over to check on it. It was warm enough so he left it in the appliance.
He grabbed a bottle of water for himself and sat at the counter, thinking he needed a shower as well. There was the one and only bathroom in the hallway. He knew Nadia was attached to her dad and the people in this apartment complex, but soon, they may need more room. John needed to plan ahead because that was the man he was. He fished out his phone which was always in secure browsing mode and started to search.
He’d been down the rabbit hole of Westwood real estate when Nadia emerged. She was in sleep shorts and was wearing a shirt, but all John could see was the shadow of her nipples. Her shampoo and soap mingled and he had the oddest desire to dirty her up. Wipe out her clean smell with the scent of sweat, musk, and sex.
Fuck.
“You want to relax in the living room while eating this?”
She declined. “I’ll end up watching television and I really want to sleep in my bed this time.” Opening the microwave, she picked up her bowl and started chowing down. John returned his attention to his phone, but this time went to a site he bookmarked.
“You should head to bed,” she said. “You’ve had less sleep than I have.”
He glanced up. “I’ll wait. Because we’re sleeping together.”
She swallowed the bite in her mouth and sighed. “A part of me wants to say no and not rush into this, but then another part of me says I’m being ridiculous because, hey, I’m already knocked up. It’s not like you can get me pregnant again.”
John shrugged. “Or you could say it’s a matter of principle, and that you haven’t had your pound of flesh yet for the times I’ve been such an asshole to you.”
Nadia put her spoon down, rested her elbows on the counter, and leaned forward, her gorgeous eyes narrowed at him. “Is this one of your techniques of getting someone to agree with you?”
He chuckled. “It’s hardly a technique.”
“No. It’s called reverse psychology.”
“Is it working?”
“I never thought I’d use these words to describe you, but you can be a charming scoundrel when you want to be.”
“Only with you, babe.”
Nadia was in big trouble.
Every layer she peeled away from John, she was falling deeper and deeper under his spell. His bossines
s was catnip. Add in his protectiveness and that roguish charm of his … who the hell was he hiding beneath that badass CIA persona he’d been showing everyone?
She took a sip of water before spooning more fried rice into her mouth. John had returned his attention to his phone, so she took that opportunity to reflect on the past forty-eight hours.
“I like the kind of man I am with you.”
A simple, heartfelt statement that she felt right in her soul. Like John, Nadia had worn many identities not only in her foray into cosplay, but also the many different times she dyed her hair. But with John, she’d uncovered a passionate woman hiding inside her. All her life she loved living in the land of make believe, but in real life? She liked to play it safe. She liked numbers, science, and computer code because it was something that had order and logic. They were quantifiable. She understood now why she was pissed at John when he threw her headlong into the Mexican op. He was pushing her outside her comfort zone. She had a feeling he did that on purpose. He was perceptive. That asshole. But he was her asshole. She thought possessively.
He glanced up from whatever he was scrolling. “We need to make an appointment for your prenatal.”
Nadia stopped chewing. “Ah … I think that’s best when I’m four weeks?” She wasn’t sure. Nadia hadn’t even opened one website about pregnancy.
“Yes, but the first ultrasound can be done at six weeks,” he told her. “We also need to start you on prenatal vitamins, ASAP.”
“Okay, I guess you’re on top of it,” she laughed.
His eyes crinkled at the corners. “So, in about two weeks then.” He put down his phone. “I’ll try not to make decisions for you, but I know an agency physician I trust.”
“John?” She watched him carefully. “Are you paranoid because you have enemies who could get to me?”
He blew out a breath. “I’m trying not to think that way, but Bristow and I have been made, and we’re not sure how Dmitry Vovk will react to his brother’s murder.”
“That’s on the CTTF. I’ve read Kelso’s report. Kelso dropped Maxim, and the ballistics that belonged to your team were attributed to a Latino gang that had a beef with the Ukrainians. Followed them, and ambushed them when Maxim attacked Kelso.”
Her Covert Protector (Rogue Protectors Book 4) Page 17