by S. J. Lynn
“You tell her. It doesn’t have to be right away, though.”
“I’m not so sure about that.”
“Well, do what’s right. You’ll know when the time’s right to tell her. It shouldn’t be thrown out like it’s a statement about the weather. That’s a huge shock to the system.”
I spoke my biggest fear next. “She’s going to hate me.”
Mom wrapped an arm around me. “If she’s anything like I remember, she won’t hate you.”
I wanted to believe that, but how could she love the man who ended her future?
“Well, we should get back out there,” I tell her.
“You’re right. Your Uncle Lenny is probably going off about the best way to cook a duck.”
We stood. “Thanks for listening, Mom.”
“Of course. Luke, I’m not going to sugarcoat what happened. It was an awful thing, and to say I’m disappointed in you is an understatement. But you’re my son, and I know you’re a good man. You just messed up.”
She was heartbroken. It was written all over her face. But I expected nothing less. And I knew this was only a taste of what I’d have to witness when I finally told Maggie tomorrow.
***
Maggie
“Luke, I don’t know what I’m doing!”
Levers. That was all I saw when I looked around me. I was in a red backhoe with a loader, courtesy of Luke, and I was to help move bales of hay to the destinations he wanted.
He must have liked seeing me a basket case.
“Whoa, whoa, stop, stop!” He raised both hands, waving them around.
“What?” I was officially in panic mode at the fear in his voice.
“Brake!”
What did Luke tell me to do when braking? All thumbs and two left feet, I managed to successfully put it in park. My heart raced, unsure what it was that I’d done for him to need me to stop. I knew it wasn’t my speed. These things didn’t go that fast. Though it was possible I could have run over something.
He climbed the machine, and I’d braced myself for a verbal lashing when he kissed me on the lips. His smiling face was inches from mine.
“Hi,” he said. Hi? That was it? He said nothing else as he climbed back down, leaving me a confused mess. “Okay, keep doing what you’re doing. You’re doing great.”
I couldn’t be mad at him. He was adorable and sweet, despite setting my nerves ablaze. I rolled my eyes when I caught him laughing, and made like I was going to run him over. He quickly stepped off to the side, his mouth open in shock. Then I stuck my tongue out at him.
The morning went well. I’d offered to start the day with him, despite the fact I was not supposed to be there until the afternoon. Why not? I was off at Marybeth’s and I had no classes. What else would I do? Besides, I wasn’t needed to help the festival prep today. It was already fast approaching, just two days away.
We checked on the calves—yes, plural—that had been born last night. Thank goodness all turned out well, given that we hadn’t been there to assist.
“It’s pretty hot out,” Luke said as we left the gate. He yanked it to make sure it was secure. “Let’s cool off. Sound good?”
“Cool off? Are we finished?”
He tilted his head to the side and closed his eyes briefly. “No…but this is kind of work.”
“Oh yeah?” I laughed. “What does this work, but not work, involve?”
“You. Me. Some soap and water”—he paused, his eyes hooded—“and two really dirty horses.”
I slapped him lightly on the side of his arm. “You’re ridiculous, you know that?”
“What? You’re the one with the dirty mind, Boots.”
“You’re the one who sets me up for it.”
“Well, I must say, I do like this secret side to you,” he said as we walked around the house to the water hose outlet. Luke removed the hose from its reel and hooked it up.
“Don’t like the way I am normally?” I faked hurt.
He screwed the nozzle and peeked up at me. “I love the way you are.” His unexpected words made me blush. He didn’t say he loved me, but it felt as if he had. But when he spoke further, I put it behind me. “Soap should be on the porch.”
“Speaking of porch, it’s coming together nicely.” There we go. Easier ground.
“Thanks.”
“When did you do more of it?” I asked as I started to walk away.
“Early this morning.”
This man never stopped.
After Luke carried the buckets, and I grabbed the soap and sponges, we each took a horse: him with Cowboy, me with Penelope. I liked this. It was relaxing and enjoyable—or maybe it was enjoyable because I was with Luke.
I kept catching myself going for long moments without thinking of Josh—almost like it was getting easier. I felt as if I were abandoning him, though. Would this ever change?
Something cold and wet ran down my back. I gasped from the chill and turned to see Luke holding his sponge and laughing.
“What was that for?” I dipped my sponge in the water and tried to toss suds onto the front of his shirt but he backed away.
“Almost, but not quite,” he teased before dunking his sponge and soaking the front of me. I looked down and saw that my shirt was drenched. My bra was completely exposed underneath. When I looked back at him, he did an innocent shrug. “Guess you shouldn’t have worn white.”
“That’s it.” I took off after him, and he whipped around to run ahead of me. I chased him back behind the house, past the chicken coop where we sent them all scattering away, and down toward the barn. I saw him disappear inside so I went in after him. He wasn’t there.
“Luke? You better come out and face me like a man.” With slow steps, I crept down the walkway along the wall so he wouldn’t jump out of nowhere and scare me. There were just enough gaps through the stalls for me to peek inside. I couldn’t find him.
Darn. I’d have to get closer to see if he was crouching. Though the joke would be on him if he was. “Anyone hiding in a horse’s stall deserves to have poop on their boots.” My throat started tightening in fear he’d pop up and grab me. Growing braver, I came closer and peered through the gaps. Hmm. Maybe he went—
More cold water trailed down my back. Startled, I whipped around and wrung my sponge, successfully dousing him. “Gotcha!” I said before spinning on my heels, trying to flee. But he was too quick. He came behind me, wrapping his arms around my waist before swinging me around.
“Not fast enough,” he whispered in my ear, sending chills down my spine. My breathing started to slow as I became aware of how close he was. Up until now, all we’d done was kiss. And mainly it’d been him. Could I do it? Be the one to initiate this time?
This is me moving on.
I slowly turned and faced him, resting my hands on his forearms. He looked down at me, his smile gone. His eyes explored my face, landing on my mouth. The intensity from his gaze pulled me in, and I rose on my tiptoes. When his lips found mine, it was easy to turn into a puddle at his feet. He started slow, as if he were experiencing our kiss for the first time. Then it grew more familiar. He walked me backward until my spine pressed up against the stalls. His hands gently skated down the sides of my arms, causing my skin to tighten.
There was no ranch, no animals, and no Magnolia Springs—there was just Luke and me.
He broke the kiss. “Go out to dinner with me.”
Did I hear him right? It was hard to tell. “What?”
“Go out to dinner with me. Let’s dress up and leave all of this behind for a day.”
My lovesick haze waned. Something was off with him, as if he wanted to run away. “Luke? Are you okay?”
“Yes,” he said emphatically, and took my hands in his. “I care about you and I just feel like we’ve done nothing but work.”
I laughed. “We went to the lake and your uncle’s house. We’ve taken some time off.”
“Those don’t count.”
“Why not?”
>
“Because that was before you were mine and I was yours.” When I looked away, he asked, “Did I say something wrong?”
“No, you didn’t say anything wrong. I guess…” I shrugged, not knowing what else to say.
“Too fast?”
“Yeah.” When his face fell, I wanted to take back my answer, but something stopped me. “I’m sorry.”
“No, it’s fine. I don’t want to rush you into anything.” He kissed me on my forehead, and moved away from me to bend and pick up both our sponges. When he left the barn I ran frustrated hands down my face.
What was wrong with me?
Chapter 16
Maggie
I’d been baking all day. I’d like to say it was because I was excited about the festival on Saturday, but really it was because of what tomorrow brought: the anniversary of Josh’s death. It wasn’t fair. Here I was, not knowing what to expect when I moved back, and having found this great guy—one that I’d apparently known for years. And he was amazing.
So what was my struggle?
My doorbell rang and I used a damp rag to clear my hands of flour. “Coming!”
It was Caroline. What did she want?
“Well, hey, girl. Can I come in?”
“Sure.” I gestured for her to enter.
“Well, well. I see you’re getting a head start for Saturday.” Caroline walked past, admiring the six pies that sat cooling on the counter.
I laughed. “If I don’t start now, I’ll never be done in time.”
“Ooh, is this lemon cream?”
She started to reach out and touch it, but I lightly swatted her hand away. She stuck her tongue out. “It is, and it’s off-limits until the festival.”
“You’re no fun.” She exaggerated an eye roll.
I rounded the counter and start kneading dough. “So what brings you by?”
“Oh, a little bit of this. A little bit of that.” I shot her a look that said I knew she had something in particular she wanted to talk about. “Okay, fine. What is this? You come back and suddenly you know everything?”
“What’s on your mind, Caroline?”
What she did next surprised me. With what little space was left on the counter, she rested her elbows, laid her chin in her hands, and sighed. “Love.”
I nearly choked on my own spit. “Love?”
She rolled her eyes. “Oh, don’t pretend like you don’t know who I’m talking about. Stupid Bill!”
“Stupid Bill?”
“Yes, William. Ugh, why of all people is it that greaseball I have to find irresistibly…” She paused, staring at nothing. “Attractive.”
Okay. Either this was some joke, or she really was finally confessing her secret crush that we all already knew about. “Well, it’s not like he’s not a good-looking man,” I said.
“But he’s just so…well, not me.”
“Isn’t that a good thing? You two can complement each other.” I set to rolling out the dough.
She waved a hand. “Oh, what do you know?”
I straightened. “I’m sorry?”
“Listen, no offense, but Luke’s practically following you with his tongue dragging on the ground—a man that many women desire, by the way—and you aren’t doing a darn thing about it.”
I sat the rolling pin down and parked a hand on my hip. “I…do so…do stuff about it.” Wait. Why was I defending myself?
“No, missy, you don’t. You work and twirl all day when you should be appreciating the gift that’s being sat before you.”
All I could do was huff out a breath.
“You want to be happy? You want to move on?” I lowered my head and she softened her voice. “Then you hold on to the person that’s going to get you there.”
I sniffled and wiped at a stray tear. “He makes me forget about him.” I stared up at her and she frowned, reaching out to wipe what I assumed to be flour off my cheek.
“Darlin’, isn’t that the point?” she asked.
Was that the point? If so, why did that make me feel so guilty?
“I don’t want to let Josh go.”
“You are looking at it the wrong way. You act as if letting him go means letting him go.” I frowned, not understanding her point. “Listen, bottom line, don’t let his death mean a prison sentence for you. You really think all of who Josh was and what he accomplished adds up to a memory that shackles his loved ones to him? No.”
I was floored. Of all the things people had told me, it was Caroline’s words that gave me an awakening. “I never looked at it that way before.”
“That’s because everyone only sees me as a spoiled, rich southern belle.” She winked.
“No—”
She held up a hand. “No need to say anything. I know. I’m not always the easiest person to be around, but I do have a heart.”
I smiled. “Well, thank you for telling me what I needed to hear.”
“You’re welcome. Now”—she looked at the pies—“finish up here and go and have some fun…with you-know-who.”
Caroline walked to the door and stepped out into the hall. Before she closed the door, she peeked her head back in. “And, Maggie?”
“Yeah?”
“Be sure to shave your legs.”
I picked up a rag and threw it at the door. Caroline closed it just in time before it got her. She was right. The only thing I’d done since I’d been back was work and hurt a man that I could fall for—a man I’d already fallen for.
I needed to make this right.
***
Luke
I needed to go back to work. After what happened earlier with Maggie and me, I was restless. There was only so much I could do at the ranch, and I was sick to death of working on the house.
Hence the reason for my being at Mom’s, sprawled on her couch.
Frustrated, I tossed the remote next to me and looked at the ceiling. It was nearly six in the evening and I’d spent the last two hours watching baseball and wasting time—a rarity for me.
“Supper is almost ready, Luke. Are you sure nothing’s the matter?” She stood in the apron I’d gotten her one year at a local flea market. It was light blue with bumblebees all over it. I’d almost forgotten about it.
“I’m fine. Just didn’t want to be on the ranch.”
She rested a hand on her hip. “Did you and Maggie have a fight? You just started dating.”
Why did I tell her? I got up and went to the fridge for some tea. “We’re not really dating. I’m not sure what we are.”
“But you said—did you break her heart?”
I gave her a look. “I broke her heart a year ago. She just doesn’t know it yet.”
Mom sighed. “Invite her over for dinner.”
“Mom, just let it go.” I sat the pitcher of tea back in the fridge and walked to the couch.
“Fine. I’ll let it go. You know what’s best.”
Here we go. “I know what you’re doing.”
“Oh? I didn’t know I was doing anything.”
Despite myself, I smiled. I couldn’t be mad at her.
“Come and help an old lady out with supper.”
She peeled potatoes while I diced carrots for stew. It was just like old times when I’d help her in the kitchen while Dad was finishing with the animals. “Mom?”
“Yeah, son?”
“Are you happy?”
“Am I happy? What brought this on?”
“Just answer.”
She clicked her tongue against the roof of her mouth. “Well, yeah. I mean, I have a great son. I’m in mostly good health.”
“But are you lonely?”
She frowned. “I miss your father. Very much.”
“You think you’ll ever find someone again?”
“At my age?”
“Come on. You aren’t that old,” I teased.
“You watch your mouth, young man. You’re not too old to go over my knee.”
I leaned down to give her a peck on the cheek.
“You’ve never hit me a day in your life.”
“And I’ve been regretting it ever since.” She winked.
The doorbell rang and I glanced at Mom to see if she knew who it could be.
“I invited company over.” She couldn’t look at me.
“Mom?”
“What? I called Maggie to see how she was doing, and might have added that I was making all this food and had no one to share it with. I figured you’d agree to calling her, and I’d surprise you by saying I already had. Amy is with her, too. Love that little girl.”
Leave it to my mother to meddle. “I’ll get the door.”
“Hey,” Maggie said. Amy was bouncing up and down.
“Hey,” I said. I turned to Amy. “And how are you today?”
“I’m starving,” she said, making Maggie and me laugh. It helped to break the awkward tension. I hated that there had to be any in the first place.
“Your mom invited us,” Maggie said, almost apologetic.
“I’m glad you came,” I told her.
“Oh, Amy, look how much you’ve grown since I last saw you,” Mom said as she came beside me. “Here, you come in and help me set the table.” Amy flew inside, eager to help. I stepped out on the porch, knowing that’s why mom had Amy ‘help.’
Without a word, I hugged Maggie. I wanted her to know that no matter what, I cared about her. She wrapped her arms around my waist and we held each other. I wasn’t sure for how long. I didn’t care.
“I’m glad you’re here,” I whispered into her hair.
“I was getting ready to call you when your mom called.”
“You were?” I let go and stepped back.
She tucked a lock of hair behind her ear. “Yeah. I—”
I shook my head. “You know what? Let’s just enjoy a nice dinner. We can talk about it later.”
“Okay. That sounds good.”
All through dinner, Amy stole the show with her tales of ballet and her attempts at mimicking animals on a farm. She’d managed to mix a few of them up, but we were too amused to correct her. After we’d removed the dinnerware, Mom got out Candy Land. Every now and again, when it wasn’t our turns, Maggie and I would hold hands under the table.
“It’s getting late. I should probably get Amy back home.” Maggie stood and scooted her chair in.