“Are you ready?”
Maggie stared at Luke in incomprehension. And then the present returned with forceful fury. Heat infused her cold cheeks. They were on their way to see his sick mother. Her thoughts shamed her.
She reminded herself that Luke had left her once and would do so again. The heat and her vivid memory dissipated.
“Yeah, let’s go.”
She followed him to the truck and hopped in the passenger side. As they pulled out of the parking lot and headed to Minnewasta, a light dusting of snow began to fall. The weather had turned cold, signalling the true beginning of winter. Though she knew a lot of people hated winter and would think she was crazy, winter had always been Maggie’s favorite season. She loved the crisp, new snow that blanketed the landscape and hid imperfections with its tranquil beauty.
Luke turned up the heater. “Damn. Even inside the truck it’s cold.”
“You’ll get used to it again,” Maggie said.
“I don’t know about that.”
She tipped her chin toward his puffy blue jacket. “Nice parka. Is it new?”
“Yeah. I haven’t worn a parka since I left Minnesota. Can’t say I missed it.”
She couldn’t help smiling at the disgust in his voice. Luke had never been a winter person. That summer, he’d talked about his dream of moving to California so he’d never have to face another Minnesota winter again. But he’d said he didn’t have the money to make it to California, and he wouldn’t take anything from his mother or grandmother. She’d always wondered where the money had come from for him to travel to the west coast and go to school there. Perhaps, in his eagerness to get away, he’d taken money from his mother after all.
A lump of guilt formed in her throat at the thought of Abby. She should have visited her weeks ago instead of letting old resentments stop her. Now, her time with Abby would be limited. She hoped she wouldn’t cry and upset her. Maggie’s fingers tightened around the plastic container in her lap. The last thing Abby needed was a messy emotional display.
“You okay?”
Maggie blinked and looked at Luke. “Yeah, sure. I’m fine.”
He glanced at her quickly before turning his attention back to the road. “I know you’re nervous about visiting Mom,” he said. “So was I. Reese warned me that she’d lost weight and that she had little energy. I was afraid of what I’d find when I saw her again. But even though she looks a little different physically, she’s still my mom. She’s still Abby.”
Maggie gulped in a breath to steady herself. “Being Abby is pretty awesome.”
He flashed her a quick smile. “Yeah, it is.”
They drove in silence the rest of the way. Luke parked the truck on the street in front of Abby’s house. They got out and walked to the front door. Luke knocked before opening the door and walking inside.
“Hi, Mom. We’re here.”
“Hello, hello!”
Abby sat in an armchair in the living room, a red and black plaid blanket covering her lap. Maggie couldn’t believe how thin and frail she looked, as if the wind blowing into the house with them could knock her over. But the wide smile on her face was the one Maggie remembered.
“Maggie, it’s so good to see you.”
Maggie walked into Abby’s open arms, stooping to hug her. She inhaled Abby’s perfume, Chanel Number Five if she remembered correctly. The scent brought back old memories. Abby’s kindness and the love she’d always received from her rushed back and in that minute, the years fell away as if they hadn’t been apart a single day.
“It’s good to see you, too. I’ve missed you.” Maggie struggled to keep the tears at bay.
“I’ve missed you, too, dear girl.”
Abby held her in a surprisingly strong grip, considering how much frailer she looked since she saw her in June. At last she let her go. “Let me look at you. I wanted to tell you at Harper’s wedding what a beautiful young woman you’ve become, but we never got a chance to talk. And I love your hair that way!”
Maggie lifted a self-conscious hand to the back of her neck and stroked the ends of her hair. “I cut it a few years ago. The long hair was too hot and heavy in the kitchen, and it kept getting in my way.”
“Don’t apologize. It suits you perfectly. You look gorgeous.” Abby gestured to the sofa next to her chair. “Sit down beside me. Luke, would you mind putting on the kettle for tea? You can make yourself some coffee, if you like.”
“Sure, Mom.”
He tossed his parka onto a chair and headed to the kitchen. Maggie handed Abby the plastic container she’d been holding before taking off her jacket. “I made you brownies. You always said they were your favorite.”
“Oh, they are. Thank you. We’ll have some with tea.” Abby set the container on her lap and rested her hands on top. “Tell me all about your adventures as a chef.”
“There’s not much to tell.” The last thing she wanted to do was to talk about her sordid work history, especially with Luke listening in the next room. She sat on the sofa near Abby. “I went to culinary school, I worked in some kitchens in Minneapolis learning the ropes, and now I’ve been given the opportunity to head up my own kitchen at the lodge. I’m very grateful.”
“I know you’ll be a success. People will travel for miles for your food.”
Maggie tightly clasped her hands together in her lap. “I hope so.”
Abby tilted her head, regarding her. “You sound worried.”
“There’s lot at stake. If the restaurant isn’t a success, the lodge will suffer.”
“I’ve known since you were a child that you were a talented cook. You can do this. You just have to believe in yourself.”
Maggie reached over and grasped Abby’s hand. “Yeah. I suppose I should.”
Abby covered her hand with her own. “It’s going to be all right, sweetheart.”
Her heart filled with love. Abby could always make her believe anything was possible. But Maggie wondered if her words held another meaning. Maybe she was trying to tell her that she’d be okay after she died. Her heart stuttered at the thought of Abby no longer in the world.
Maggie searched for something to talk about aside from Abby’s health. Her gaze fell on the necklace at Abby’s throat. “That’s a beautiful necklace. It’s a Fleur-de-lis, isn’t it?”
Abby smiled as she touched the delicate silver chain. “It is. Harper gave it to me. She brought it back from her honeymoon in Paris.”
“Harper had a lot of fun buying gifts.”
“I’m happy she’s found such a generous, loving husband. She seems very happy.”
Thinking of Harper and Ethan together made Maggie smile. “She is. And now Scarlet and Cam are together, too. My sisters both found the loves of their lives. I’m happy for them.”
“Your time will come too, sweetheart.”
Maggie opened her mouth to protest, but closed it as Luke entered the living room carrying a tray. He placed his tray on the coffee table and poured tea from a pot into two cups.
“Are you going to share some of those brownies, or are you hogging them all?” He set up a folding table beside Abby’s chair and placed one of the teacups on it.
Abby winked at Maggie. “Be a good boy and I’ll share with you.”
He went back to the kitchen and returned with three small plates and forks along with some paper napkins and a cup of coffee for himself. Abby handed him the container and he opened the lid and placed one brownie on a plate for each of them. He passed plates to her and Abby before taking one and sitting next to Maggie on the sofa.
Abby carefully sipped the hot tea. “Luke tells me you’re planning a grand opening celebration around Valentine’s Day. I hope you’re going to serve your marvellous brownies.”
“I’m not sure what we’re going to serve. We haven’t talked about it yet.” She turned to Luke. “Did you have any ideas?”
He bit into his brownie and swallowed before answering. “I think a grand opening cake and free hot chocol
ate sounds good.”
“That would be a nice touch after a cold sleigh ride. We’ll have to make sure there’s a fire burning in the hearth. What about food? Are we going to offer any kind of dinner?”
“What did you have in mind?”
She thought for a moment. “What if we have a special dinner? We can offer some dishes that don’t appear on the regular menu.”
He nodded. “Good idea. We can sell tickets in advance so we know whether there’s enough interest.”
Possibilities danced through her imagination. She turned to face him, folding one leg beneath her. “We could offer an array of winter comfort foods, like chilis and soups and hot desserts, like apple crumble. Instead of plate service or a buffet, how about we go with family style service?”
“What’s family style service?” Abby asked.
“You place bowls of food on the table and let people help themselves, like at a family dinner,” Maggie explained. “I think it makes for a fun and welcoming setting.”
“That’s a great idea,” Luke said. “It’ll be like inviting friends into your home. That’s the vibe we should be going for. Warm and welcoming. Especially in the winter.”
For once, dread didn’t overwhelm her at the prospect of the upcoming Grand Opening. “Yes, exactly.”
“Brunches are always popular with families. We could hold them for special occasions all year long, like Mother’s Day and Father’s Day.” Luke tapped his finger against his thigh.
“For St. Patrick’s Day we could serve green pea soup and spinach lasagne.” Ideas exploded in her head. She could picture all the dishes she could make for each occasion. An enthusiasm she hadn’t experienced since she’d arrived at the lodge made her giddy with excitement.
“We’ll probably want to come up with at least one special dinner per month in the winter. We could do a weekly trivia night in the bar, or form a darts league. Things will likely be slow, so we’ll want to give people a reason to drive out to the lodge.”
Maggie put her hand on Luke’s forearm. “What if we have an activity to go along with each special dinner? Like a costume contest at Halloween, and an Easter egg hunt for the kids at Easter.”
“Yeah, that’s perfect. We’ll put our heads together with the rest of the group and come up with a list of activities to pair with dinners for an entire year.”
“This is going to be fun, isn’t it?”
Luke grinned at her. “You sound surprised.”
She shrugged and let go of his arm. “Yeah, I am.”
“My goodness,” Abby said, with a laugh. “It all sounds so exciting.”
Without warning, Abby’s laughter turned to coughing, her body shaking with the violence of her coughs. Luke ran to the kitchen and returned with a glass of water. Maggie watched helplessly as she tried to drink between coughs.
Finally, the coughing subsided, but Maggie could see it left Abby drained. She leaned against the back of her armchair and wearily closed her eyes. When she reopened them and looked at her, they were filled with resignation. “I’m sorry, Maggie. I so wanted to visit with you this afternoon, but I think I need to rest for a while. Do you think you can come back again sometime soon?”
Maggie glanced at Luke, who stood at his mother’s elbow, his face taut with stress. She could tell he was holding a torrent of emotions inside. “If you want me to, of course I will.”
She sighed. “Good. There’s so much I want to tell you…” Abby’s voice trailed off and she closed her eyes in exhaustion.
What did she want to tell her? She’d been her mother’s best friend. Possibly, she wanted to share stories about her. Maggie had been a baby when her mother Miranda died, so she had no memories of her. All her life, she’d clung to the remembrances her grandparents, sisters and her mother’s friends had of her. But she could see only a reflection in a shattered mirror. There were many hazy pieces, but no complete picture. Miranda had been a puzzle to Maggie all her life.
Together, she and Luke helped Abby to her bedroom. Maggie pulled back the covers and Luke lifted her onto the mattress, lowering her head to the pillow with infinite care. Maggie slipped off Abby’s shoes and tugged the blankets up to her chin.
“We’ll stay until Reese comes home,” Luke said.
“There’s no need.” Abby’s voice was weak and she didn’t open her eyes. “I’m fine.”
“Don’t argue with me. We’re staying.”
“Fine. Be stubborn.” Abby gave an exhausted sigh. “Reese shouldn’t be long. He was interviewing home-care nurses. I told him not to waste his money, but he thinks we need one.”
“Look who’s being stubborn now. Of course, you do.”
Her mouth turned up at one corner, but she didn’t say anything further. In a few moments, she was asleep. Luke nodded his head toward the door and they left the room, closing the door quietly behind them.
“Would you like more coffee, Luke?” Restlessness made her itchy with discomfort. She needed something to do, even if it was only filling the coffeemaker.
“No, thanks.” He paced the living room, obviously as restless as she was. “I hope we hear back from the specialist in California soon. We sent her medical files to him and a technician came to the house for a blood sample yesterday. But she’s getting so weak. I’m afraid even if she’s accepted for the new treatment, it might be too late.”
“You’ve done everything you can, Luke.”
He made a scoffing sound and shook his head. Maggie turned her face away, a lump forming in her throat. That was the Luke she remembered. The selfless boy who loved his mother and would do anything for her.
She closed the lid on the brownie container, then gathered the cups and plates and washed them in the sink. As she placed them in the drain board, Luke dried them with a dishtowel. Neither of them said anything as they worked.
If the doctor in California couldn’t do anything for Abby, Luke would be devastated.
She was afraid there was nothing anyone could do.
CHAPTER SIX
Reese returned to the house shortly before three. Maggie thought he looked tired and harried, and years older than he had only a few weeks ago.
“How’s your mother?” he asked Luke.
“She started coughing and it tired her out, so we put her to bed. She’s been sleeping for almost an hour.”
Reese turned to Maggie. “Did you have a chance to talk?”
“Not much,” she said. “But I promised Abby I’d come back soon. She wants to talk, and I’m happy to listen.”
“That’s good.”
Though he nodded, his expression told a different story. Disappointment was etched into the lines of his handsome, weathered face.
Maggie wondered at his reaction, but then admonished herself. Of course he was disappointed, his wife was gravely ill. He was entitled to a whole gamut of negative emotions.
“Were you able to arrange a nurse for Mom?” Luke asked.
“Yeah. I talked to a private home-care agency. For now, they’re going to provide nurses for two shifts a day, one for overnight and one for afternoons. That way, I can check in on the worksite at the lodge in the afternoons and be with Abby in the mornings and evenings. Eventually, we’ll have to go with round the clock care. I don’t want her to be alone…” His throat worked and he closed his eyes before turning away to compose himself.
Luke put his hand on Reese’s shoulder. “That sounds like a good plan. Maggie and I should get back to the lodge. Call me if you need anything. You’ve got my number.”
“I’ll call.” He shifted his attention to Maggie. “You’ll come see Abby again?”
“I will. I promise.”
On impulse, she leaned in to hug Reese, to offer him whatever comfort she could. His arms came around her and, for a brief moment, he clung to her, his grief wrapping around her like a living thing. She understood what it was like to be left behind. Abby shouldn’t have to suffer, and neither should he.
Reese let her go and she
gave him a wobbly smile before following Luke to the door. They climbed into the truck cab and drove out of town, neither of them saying anything. There was nothing to say. Despite what Luke believed, Abby was very ill and was likely dying.
Abby was dying. The words hit her as if their meaning had only now became clear. Seeing her today, witnessing her frailty, meant she could no longer pretend everything would be fine. Abby had been her friend, her confidante. No matter how many years had passed, she was still her friend. And Maggie loved her.
She couldn’t hold back the tears. She turned her face away, not wanting to further upset Luke. She swiped at the tears running down her cheeks with angry fingers. Tears solved nothing.
Maggie wasn’t aware they’d pulled off the main road until the truck came to a stop. When she looked up, she saw they were on a side road lined with tall pines.
“I’m sorry, Maggie,” Luke said. “I should have realized seeing Mom so sick would upset you.”
She reached into her handbag for a tissue. “There’s no need for you to apologize. I’ll be fine.”
“Will you?”
He sounded as if he were searching for hope, not only for her but for himself. She wanted to reassure him. The last thing Luke needed was to feel responsible for her.
“No, not really. At least, not right away.” After her grandmother’s death, and then her grandfather’s, she’d learned that eventually life went on. With time, the sharp sting of grief softened to a place where she could remember them with more affection than pain.
Her relationship with Grandma Dorothy had been a complicated mix of love and resentment and guilt. The guilt haunted her. If she hadn’t been so stubborn, so headstrong, perhaps Grandma would have lived longer.
Luke stared out the windshield, his fingers gripping the steering wheel. “Right now, all I feel is anger. Why is this happening to my mother? She never hurt anyone in her life. Why does she have to be sick?”
Truth and Solace Page 6