“That makes sense,” I said.
Kate was quiet for a moment.
“I guess I can dig up the unsolved missing person files for you. I’ll bring them home this week. If you can identify her, we can go from there. How long do you think it’s been? Any idea?”
“I’m not really sure,” I said.
“Well, I know there have only been a few people here in Bend who have been reported missing these past few years. And a few have been found. Let’s see. There was one young guy who got lost up in the mountains, and of course there was that woman who disappeared last year. So maybe I should go back 10 years or so. I’ll see what I can find out.”
“That would be great.”
“So how old do you think she is?”
“She’s a little older than you,” I said. “Long black hair, medium height, thin. She’s dressed in white.”
“Aren’t all ghosts dressed in white?”
“I guess.”
But I was thinking of Jesse. Jesse was always dressed in his street clothes.
Kate sighed.
“Of course I’ll help you. You know that. I’m here for you. But I need one thing from you.”
I braced. I didn’t want her to ask me to quit my river guide job.
“You have to promise me that you won’t get so involved in all this,” she said, sitting up a little. “I’m serious. Do what you think you need to do for this ghost and move on. You have a lot of good things going on in your life now. You’ve come back all the way and you’re doing great. You’re the happiest I’ve seen you since…”
She suddenly stopped talking and looked away.
“The happiest since that horrible accident. You can’t let this business pull you back down. We can’t go there again no matter who needs your help. You have to promise me that before I’ll help you.”
“I promise,” I said.
I knew this was all hard for her. I knew she didn’t want to see me that way ever again.
“If she’s down in the river, let’s find her and bring her up. But that’ll be it. Promise?”
“Promise.”
Kate was right. I had worked too hard to escape from the darkness of that lake. She was looking after me and I appreciated it.
“Good. Okay, if the verdict in the trial is early, I’ll bring home what I can get tomorrow afternoon.”
“Sounds great,” I said.
“Hey, as long as we’re having an open, honest discussion, I might as well show you what I bought.”
She stood up abruptly and went toward her bedroom. I already knew what she was going to show me because I had found it last week. I wasn’t being snoopy or anything, but came across it when I was looking for eye drops in her nightstand.
She returned carrying a little wooden box. She put it on the coffee table, sat on the sofa, and opened it slowly.
It sat in velvet. Black, shiny, and deadly.
“I know I should have told you when I first got it,” she said, picking up the gun like a professional and pointing it out in front of us. “But I didn’t want to upset you. I know you’re not a big fan of guns. I got it to protect us. And I have to admit that since I bought it, I sleep a lot better at night.”
I nodded.
“I don’t mind. Especially if it makes you feel better.”
She looked at me with intense eyes.
“He said he’d come back for you,” she said. “I’m not letting that happen.”
I couldn’t argue with that. It was exactly what Nathaniel said before he escaped. It helped that Dr. Mortimer told us that he wasn’t in the country anymore, but it would be foolish to let our guard down. It wasn’t over, and we both knew that.
“Here,” she said, handing me the gun. “Go ahead and hold it. It’s not loaded.”
I hadn’t ever seen a real one before in my life. I took it from Kate and held it out in front of me. It was heavier than I thought.
“Pow,” she whispered.
Holding it in my hands made me a little sad. I thought about how we had changed. This wasn’t who we were, or at least who we used to be. And I didn’t like that we were different because of him.
“It’s heavy.”
“Yep. It has a lot of power. One of the officers helped me pick it out.”
I nodded.
Holding the gun also made me realize how scared Kate was. While I was busy rafting down the river and making friends, she had obviously been thinking about Nathaniel.
“Abby, I want you to come with me to the shooting range. I’ve been a few times and I want you to come too.”
I really didn’t want to learn how to use a gun. But I would for her.
“Sure. Just tell me when and where and I’ll be there,” I said, handing it back to her.
Kate smiled as she placed it carefully back in the box.
“I keep it in my nightstand, along with a box of cartridges. I’ve also hidden some other boxes in the cupboard next to the light bulbs and in your room next to your old games in the closet.”
I nodded. Wow. She really was serious.
“I don’t want to scare you, but you know what he is capable of and we need to be ready. Nothing is going to happen to you. I promise you that.”
I tried to smile. She got up, picked up the small box, and walked back to her bedroom.
She was right, but it didn’t feel good. I watched the show until she returned.
“I want you to know that I haven’t forgotten about him,” she said.
“I know that. Probably why you put in the alarm system, right?”
“Yep,” she said. “It’s also why I almost bought a German Shepherd last month. Sometimes I wonder if we should just get the hell out of here and go into hiding.”
She sat down and finished the last of her beer.
“But the best solution is to get him. He’s just human, you know. Visions or no visions, a bullet through his brain will stop his insanity instantly.”
That didn’t sound like Kate at all. It was shocking that she would say that, that killing Nathaniel was the best solution.
“Sorry,” she said, looking at my expression.
“Or we could put him in jail, right?”
“Of course. Sure. Ideally. But it’s not so easy with the police messing up. We’d have to get some sort of evidence on him. They totally blew the entire case and he got away with murder.”
“Just let me know when you want to go,” I said.
I wanted to change the subject.
“Good,” she said. “And I’ll bring home those files for you, hopefully tomorrow.”
The show was ending. The detectives nailed the husband for murdering his wife after 20 years.
“See,” Kate said. “Justice may not always be swift, but it happens. Especially if I have any say in it.”
CHAPTER 17
I found myself wishing that the day would go by faster. I didn’t usually have those thoughts. I was never bored on the river. But since the first run down, I couldn’t stop thinking about the files and was hoping Kate could get them to me tonight.
The ghost wasn’t on the river. I looked for her, but she wasn’t there. I hoped she knew I was trying to help.
At the end of the day we loaded up the bus and headed back to the office. I sat next to Ty as we bounced along the dirt road before making it to the highway.
We signed out and stepped back outside into the heat. It had been a scorching day and even though it was after five, it was hotter than ever.
“So, when are we going?” Ty asked.
I was ready this time and wasn’t even nervous. In fact, I was prepared to bring it up if he didn’t.
“How about Friday?” I said.
“Great,” he said, smiling. He pulled down his sunglasses, hiding his happy eyes.
“I was thinking too, that maybe after an early dinner, we could hike up Pilot Butte,” I said. “If you want. It’s got great views of the mountains.”
Pilot Butte was an ancient cinder c
one that sat in the middle of town, with both a road and a primitive hiking trail leading up to the top. The July 4th firework show took place at the summit every year. It was a mile hike and had an epic view of Bend, the nearby badlands, and all the surrounding mountains.
“I’d love to. I haven’t been up there,” he said. “Sounds fun.”
We said goodbye in the lot and I drove home, battling that guilty feeling that floated around my insides now whenever I thought about Ty. He was just a friend, I told myself.
I was disappointed that Kate’s Subaru wasn’t in the driveway. But as I checked my messages in the car, I got excited. There was one from her and she said that she had collected all the missing person files in the last ten years from Bend PD and had brought them home at lunch. They were on the kitchen table.
“But don’t get your hopes up,” she said as I turned the key in the lock. “I only pulled ones that fit her description. There aren’t too many.”
I rushed inside and ran over to the kitchen.
There were only three files on the table. I was discouraged, but as I picked them up, I reminded myself that I only needed one.
I scanned through them, going directly to the pictures.
She wasn’t there.
I sighed and got a bottle of water from the fridge and made my way back over to the missing women.
The files had such a sad, heavy energy to them. I flipped through the first one, noting the name and the dates, and then through the other two.
One woman had disappeared leaving work late one night. Her family was offering a big reward for any information. I stared at her picture for a long time. She was the right age, but had short hair and an angular face. The next file was about a woman who was in her 30’s and lived in Ohio, but was last seen in Bend. And finally, there was a woman who went out into the wilderness on a hike by herself, but never returned.
My heart sank. Not just for the ghost I was trying to find, but for these women who must have had loved ones looking for them. It made me think of my own search for Jesse, reminding me that the world was full of lost sheep and lost love. Maybe me losing Jesse wasn’t really so unique after all.
It didn’t make any sense that she wasn’t in the files. Someone must have reported her missing. Maybe the time period was all wrong. Maybe we needed to go back farther, like 20 years or more.
I went to my room, opened my laptop, and checked my email. Claire had written early in the morning telling me to keep trying and not give up. That was weird. I wondered if she sensed that it wouldn’t be so easy finding out about the ghost.
“Keep helping her, Abby. She probably has a family out there who is missing her terribly.”
My heart sank when I read that. That dark energy swirling around her wasn’t evil. She wasn’t mean or dangerous; she was just lost. Her family probably had no idea what had happened to her. She had just vanished from their lives forever.
No wonder she was so angry.
I closed the computer.
“We’ll find you,” I said out loud, hoping she could hear me. “I promise.”
CHAPTER 18
I was sleeping by the time Kate returned and she was gone when I woke up. She left a note telling me to call her when I got up. She was doing the big wrap up on the trial and would be at her desk at The Bugler all day.
“Hey, Abby,” she said, picking up her phone on the first ring.
I could tell she was in a hurry. I got to the point.
“She’s not in any of these files,” I said.
“Yeah, I had that feeling,” she said. “I’ll go back farther, if you want.”
“Okay. I don’t think it was that long ago, though.”
Kate was quiet for a moment.
“Okay. Let me think some more on this. I’m on deadline for the web edition of a story, but we’ll talk later. Hey, can you go to the range tonight? I made us a reservation. I knew it wasn’t a soccer night for you.”
“Sure,” I said.
“Great. I’ll be home a little early.”
I thanked her and clicked off. Kate was good at her job. She would come up with something.
I got ready for work and headed to the river, hoping that the angry ghost of the missing woman had some patience.
CHAPTER 19
I didn’t really want to go, but I had promised. We had an early quick dinner and I cleaned up.
“Should I wear anything special?”
“You’re fine as is,” Kate said. “Let’s get going.”
We drove out of town and into the desert. Kate rolled down the windows and the hot summer air blew our hair around, but it felt good.
“Nervous?” she asked, turning up Josh Ritter as he sang Come and Find Me.
“Come and find me, Jesse,” I whispered under my breath.
“No,” I said to Kate. “I think it’s a good idea. Really. Hey, what did you think about that verdict? I saw it on the news.”
“I was bummed, but not surprised. I know he’s guilty, the bastard. He’s too powerful. Guys like that seem to get away with everything.”
Kate was quiet for a minute.
“But on to things we hopefully have more control over. I’ve given your case some thought and something came to me.”
I liked the way she called it my case. And I was glad to hear she was thinking about those women. Maybe it was a good thing, in a way, her helping me.
“What if she isn’t missing from Deschutes County? Maybe the murderer brought her here and dumped her body in the river.”
“That’s good,” I said. “Real good.”
“If that’s what happened, it’s both good and bad. I mean, she could be from anywhere. A different state, even thousands of miles away. She may be impossible to find.”
“That’s true,” I said.
“And it would be nice to find out more about her before I go and ask the sheriff’s department to search the river. If we knew who she was, we could talk to the family and have them put pressure on the department. That would be better than me telling them that my little sister has seen her ghost.”
I smiled.
“Good point,” I said.
“I can’t expect too much help on this from Bend PD either,” she said. “You know, with that whole business last year of me trying to get them to charge Dr. Mortimer’s brother with murder. Even though it was true, I lost some credibility with that. We’ll need something more for this.”
“I think she has family,” I said, remembering Claire’s message.
“Tomorrow I’ll search nearby counties and get you those files. Maybe we’ll get lucky and stumble upon her. You never know.”
“Sounds like a good plan.”
“Here we go,” she said, pulling into a dirt parking lot. It felt like we were in the middle of nowhere.
She reached over and grabbed the box from the glove compartment. I got to carry the rounds.
I followed her inside. We signed in, showed ID, and Kate gave them a credit card. The older man behind the counter handed us each some head earmuffs that were supposed to go over the ear plugs we brought. We walked through a thick, steel door and into the range.
It looked just like the ones that were in all those movies and shows on television, where the cops practiced their shooting. There were ten spots, separated by little walls, side by side. Large paper targets were hanging across from us, near the wall in the distance. I would be lucky if I hit anything.
“I’ll go first, show you how it’s done,” she said as we put on the ear protection.
Kate loaded the gun, took off the safety, and fired a few rounds. After she finished, she pressed a button and the little paper man moved toward us.
“I need more practice, obviously,” she said, looking at the target. But she had done pretty well.
She put a new target on the clip and pressed the button again.
“Your turn.”
She showed me how to load it and how to stand. Then she handed me the gun.
&nbs
p; “Be careful as you pull the trigger. When you fire it, make sure to brace.”
I held the gun steady in my hands and pulled the trigger, missing the silhouette completely. I shot until the gun was empty.
We brought back the target. I hadn’t hit any of the dark area.
“You’ll get better,” Kate said.
I was ready to go home, but we stayed and shot a few more rounds.
“We’ll keep coming out here until we both can shoot the head off,” she said. “With both eyes closed.”
CHAPTER 20
Every day Kate brought home pictures of missing women for me to look through. She had been getting them faxed over to the newspaper from surrounding cities and counties and had contacted nearly all the small police and sheriff departments around the state. It was shocking to see how many people went missing every year, even from really small towns. But so far, we had had no luck. She wasn’t there.
I was glad that Kate was interested in the case and willing to help out. The fire that had been sucked away during that long trial had returned, and she seemed back to her old self.
“We’ll find her,” she said. “We’re on the right path. I can feel it.”
“I hope so,” I said.
It was a good week on the river. Most of the customers were friendly, although I had one older lady get upset because she lost her hat going down the first of the whitewater.
“That was an expensive one,” she said. “Why didn’t you remind me again to take it off before we went down?”
I glanced over to Ty, who had been listening and smiling.
When I got home, I found out that Dr. Mortimer was coming to the game that night. He had left a message saying he didn’t have to go into the ER until later.
“I’ll just meet you over at the field, Abby.”
It was good to hear his voice. He sounded happy.
I called Kate to let her know. But she didn’t pick up and I wondered if she was on her way to watch the game with Colin. I sent a text. Then another.
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