Perhaps this hadn’t been such a good idea.
She retrieved the picnic lunch she’d had a farm hand drop off earlier while Colt spread the blanket out on a flat stretch of grass. He sprawled on top of it, taking the containers she handed him, a visual feast for the eye in his threadbare jeans and navy T-shirt.
Her thoughts immediately ventured into X-rated territory. She attempted to wrestle them back as she sorted out the lunch, but it proved almost impossible. He was a gorgeous male in the prime of his life, all coiled muscle and tensile strength, the effect he had on her core deep.
Heart ticking faster, every inch of her skin utterly and irrefutably aware of him, she sat down on the blanket and served up the lunch of fried chicken and potato salad the cook had provided.
Colt demolished it with a cold beer. Her appetite seemingly not in attendance, whether because of her misery or her intense awareness of the man beside her, she pushed her plate away and nursed the wine cooler she’d brought for herself, eyes on the water.
Colt rolled up a towel from the basket and propped it behind his head, stretching out with feline grace in the baking sun. She noted the careful distance he kept between them, the wary glint in his eyes whenever he looked at her. And suddenly, felt like a fool.
“I’m sorry I strong-armed you into coming up here with me.”
He paused, beer bottle halfway to his lips. “I’m enjoying it. You were right—it’s amazing up here. I was surprised, though, you didn’t want to bring a friend.”
“I don’t have any.” She gave a self-conscious shrug. “At least no real ones. My best friend, Melly, decided we weren’t friends anymore after I won the junior championship. I’m on the road so much, there’s really been no opportunity to make any new friends other than the people I compete with and those relationships only go so deep.”
“That must get lonely.”
“I’m better off with companionship of the four legged variety. Horses are endlessly loyal and they don’t talk back to me.”
His mouth quirked. “They also can’t provide anything in the way of strength and solidarity.”
She tipped her head to the side, curious. “Is that what your friends mean to you?”
“A big part of it, yes. We go back to college, my best friends and I. We’ve been through some pretty amazing times together—both good and bad. There’s a bond there that’s unbreakable even with the distance between us. One of us needs something—the rest of us jump.”
A pang went through her. She wished she had that. Someone who knew you so well you could just be yourself rather than what everyone else thought you should be. But she’d never been good at fostering those types of relationships.
“That would be nice,” she said quietly, “to have friends like that.”
He studied her for a long moment. “So Melly turned out to be a dud. Find someone else who deserves your friendship. You can’t spend every waking minute riding a horse.”
“According to my coach that’s exactly what I should be doing.”
“No,” he disagreed. “You shouldn’t. Success in life comes from opening yourself up to new horizons. Balance.” He lifted a brow. “What about boyfriends? You must have them.”
“Too busy.”
“Surely men pursue you?”
She took a sip of her drink. Cradled the bottle between her hands. “My parents want me to marry Knox Henderson. He owns half of Texas. They keep throwing us together, but I have no interest.”
“Why?” An amused glitter filled his gaze. “Is he unattractive? Too old? Too boring?”
“He’s young, attractive and rich. And he knows it.”
“What’s not to like about that? A woman needs a strong, successful man.”
She rolled her eyes.
“Did you even give him a chance?”
“Define ‘give him a chance’.”
“Did you kiss him?”
“Yes. No spark.” She gave him a considering glance, having overheard Tommy’s earlier remark. “I know the bet the boys in the barn have going.”
“What bet?”
She waved a hand at him. “You don’t have to play dumb. They think I’m a cold fish. And maybe I am.”
He rubbed a palm over his jaw. Eyed her. “Was this Knox even a good kisser?”
“I’m sure many women would say yes. Not me. He’s coming to the barn party on Friday night. You’ll get to meet him then.”
“About that,” he murmured. “It’s very nice of you to invite the staff but I have nothing to wear. I actually am Cinderella.”
“You get paid today. Buy something in town.” Somehow the comparison of Colt and Knox in the same room was far too intriguing to resist.
“It was my mama’s idea to include the staff,” she told him. “She always loved the family atmosphere it created. Kay, my stepmother, wanted to cut the tradition out when she came here. A needless expense, she said.” Her mouth twisted as she brushed a stray hair out of her face. “I vetoed it. It set the tone for our tempestuous relationship.”
“It’s a very nice tradition.” Colt took a sip of his beer. “You must miss your mother. You lost her very young.”
Her smile faded. “Every day.” She looked down at the bottle in her hand. “She died up here. That’s why Daddy doesn’t like me coming alone.”
He sat up on his elbows. “I assumed she died while she was competing.”
She shook her head. “She and Daddy had an argument. I know, because the whole house heard it. It was a bad one—worse than usual. Daddy flew off to New York on business, Mama left the house in a state and came up here without telling anyone. When I finished my lessons with my tutor I went looking for her. I knew she’d be up here because it was her favorite place.
“I found her hat on the ground. I knew something was wrong. We searched for hours but we couldn’t find her. We were on our way back to the house when we found Zeus, her horse. Mama had gotten thrown from him and he was dragging her by the stirrup.” She pressed her lips together, a throb pulsing her insides. “He was taking her home.”
“I’m sorry,” Colt said quietly. “That must have been awful.”
The worst day of her life. Her heart squeezed. What she wouldn’t do to have her wise, kind mother here now to help her sort out the mess she was in.
She studied the play of the sunlight on the water, a dancing, rippling pattern that continually changed form. “I don’t think my father’s ever forgiven himself for it. I’m not sure I’ve forgiven him for it. I mean I know rationally, it wasn’t his fault, but I miss her so much.”
“Did you ever find out what they were arguing about?”
She shook her head. “Daddy won’t talk about it. One of the maids told me she heard them arguing about Zeus, but that doesn’t make any sense. Daddy never interfered in Mama’s horse stuff.”
He took a swig of his beer. “Isn’t the rumor Zeus was sired by Diablo?”
She laughed. “Oh, that’s not true. Everyone likes to make up these crazy stories about him. Demeter, Zeus’ mama, was bred with a French stallion named Nightshade—an equally impressive match. Nightshade was a three-time European champion, that’s where Bacchus gets his jumping ability from.”
He inclined his head. “Funny how rumors get started.”
She watched a loon sail elegantly across the glass-like surface of the water, its haunting cry echoing the dull throb inside of her. Being here it always hurt ten times worse, her emotions already far too close to the surface.
“She wasn’t just my mother,” she said quietly, heat gathering at the back of her eyes. “She was my best friend. My coach, my confidante, my hero. She taught me to ride before I could walk, took me to all the shows with her. We were inseparable. I wanted to be her when I grew up.”
A silence fell be
tween them. “And you want to win for her,” Colt said finally.
She nodded, the tears stinging the backs of her eyes threatening to spill over. “I want to do what she didn’t have time to do.”
* * *
Suddenly all the pieces of the puzzle that was Cecily Hargrove were falling into place. Alejandro studied her over the rim of his beer bottle, heart squeezing despite his attempts to remain unmoved. How could he?
He’d watched her kill herself over the past week, wondering what ghosts drove her. Now he knew. But beating herself and Bacchus into the ground over and over again until there was nothing left of either of them wasn’t going to fix the problem—wasn’t going to fix them.
He’d seen glimpses of the real Cecily on the way up here today. Her spirit. Her joy. What she must have been like as a competitor when her demons weren’t chasing her. Watching her now was like watching light turn into dark.
Setting his beer bottle down, he turned to face her. “You know what I think,” he said softly, studying those beautiful, haunted eyes. “I think you don’t know who you are anymore. Who you’re riding for. I think you’re riding for everyone but yourself.”
She frowned. “The accident—”
“Was just the tip of the iceberg.” He tapped his head. “When this gets messed up—when what you want, what everyone else wants, when too much damn pressure starts to build—no one can perform.”
Her eyes widened. “Bacchus is a problem.”
“Yes,” he agreed, “he is. But you are the bigger problem. Until you figure you out, until you decide who you’re doing this for, you have no hope of making that team. You might as well pack it up and throw in the towel right now.”
Her gaze dropped away from his. She was silent for so long he realized he had gone too far. “I’m sorry,” he murmured. “I shouldn’t have—”
“No,” she said, lifting her head, eyes glazed with unshed tears. “You’re right. I have no idea who I am anymore. I’ve spent my whole life doing what everyone else expects of me. Giving up a normal life—leaving school, traveling eight months of the year every year so I can make this team...” She sank her teeth into her bottom lip. “What if I don’t? It’s all I know—it’s my entire identity.”
His throat tightened. “Then you find something else to be. But I don’t think that’s going to happen, Cecily. You clearly have the talent. Now you need to find the reason.”
A tear slid down her cheek. Then another. A curse left his lips. He pulled her into his arms, his chin coming down on top of her silky hair, her petite body curved against his. “You need to take control,” he murmured. “Decide what you want. This has to be you, Cecily, no one else.”
She cried against his chest. He held her, stroking his hand over her hair. How could he do anything else when she had no one, literally no one, to confide in?
He murmured comforting words against her silky cheek. Discovered her hair smelled like lemons and sunshine—that she was far more intoxicating than he’d ever imagined she would be, curled so tightly in his arms.
She finally pulled back, tears slowing. “Thank you,” she said. “No one is ever honest with me. Everyone tells me what I want to hear rather than what I need to hear. Except my parents. They just give me orders.”
He tucked a chunk of her hair behind her ear. Ran his thumbs across her cheeks to brush the tears away. “Then maybe you need to change that too. You’re old enough to own your own decisions—your own successes and failures.”
She nodded, eyes on his. Her lashes lowered, sweeping across her cheeks as the temperature between them changed and suddenly everything was focused on the fact that she was in his lap, her arms wrapped around him and really he should be disentangling himself right now.
“Colt?”
Distracted, he brought his gaze back up to hers. The reminder he wasn’t who he’d said he was, that this couldn’t happen, should have been enough to have him ending it right now, but the hesitant look in her blue eyes commanded him instead.
“That night in the barn—was I imagining that you wanted to kiss me?”
Por amor a Deus. How was he supposed to answer that? Lie and he would hurt her, something he wasn’t willing to do. But telling her the truth wasn’t an option either.
“I don’t think I should answer that question.”
“Why?”
“Because I work for you. Because it isn’t appropriate.”
“This is already past appropriate,” she murmured, eyes on his mouth. “And you’ve already answered my question by not answering.”
“Then we should consider the subject closed.” He reached up to disentangle her arms from around his neck. She kept them where they were.
“I think I should test my theory out.”
“What theory?”
“That you will be a better kisser than Knox.”
Oh, no. He shook his head. “I think we should leave the answer to the theoretical realm.”
“I don’t.” She curved her fingers around the back of his neck and drew his mouth down to hers. He should have stopped it right there, should have exercised the sanity he should have had, but he wasn’t going to reject her—not in her ultra-vulnerable state. And, if the truth be known, he wanted to kiss her. Badly. Had since that night in the barn.
Lush and full, not quite practiced, the brush of her lips against his sent a sizzle over every inch of his skin. This was such a bad idea.
He relaxed beneath her touch, allowed her to play. He’d give it a minute, make it good and get out of Dodge.
“You have an amazing mouth,” Cecily breathed against his lips. “But you aren’t kissing me back.”
“Self-preservation,” he murmured before he splayed his fingers around her delicate jaw, angled her mouth the way he wanted it and took control.
Her sweet, heady taste exploded across his senses. As good as he’d imagined it to be—maybe better. Fingers stroking over the silky skin of her cheek, he explored the voluptuous line of her mouth with his own, acquainting himself with every plump, perfect centimeter.
When skin against skin didn’t seem to be enough, he brought his teeth and tongue into play, nipping, stroking, lathing. A gasp escaped her lips. He took advantage of the opportunity and closed his mouth over hers, taking the kiss deeper, mating his tongue with hers. Twining her fingers into the hair at his nape, she followed his lead, sliding her tongue against his, turning the kiss into an intimate, seductive exploration that fried his brain.
Santo Deus, but she was responsive, the taste of them together perfection. He fought the desire to explore the rest of her curvy, hot body with his mouth and tongue. To discover how sweet she really was.
In his world, kisses like this led to hot, explosive sex. In this world, however, it absolutely, positively could not happen.
His rational brain kicked in. He broke the kiss, sank his fingers into her waist and lifted her off him and placed her back on the blanket.
Cheeks flushed, eyes on his, Cecily pushed a hand through her hair. “That was—”
“Proof you aren’t a cold fish,” he said, pushing to his feet. “Now we forget it happened.”
She eyed him. “Colt—”
He shook his head. “You know my MO. Here today, gone tomorrow. You don’t want to get involved with me, Cecily. Trust me.”
CHAPTER THREE
FORGET IT HAPPENED? Cecily couldn’t do anything but think about that kiss with Colt in the days leading up to the Hargroves’ annual summer party. It infiltrated her thoughts, her dreams, her practice sessions, rendering her concentration less than ideal.
To know that kind of passion existed, the explosive kind she’d felt with Colt, had turned her world upside down. Not even with Davis, as crazy as she’d been about him, had she experienced that kind of chemistry. And yet ration
ality told her Colt was right—the best thing for them to do was ignore it. She had to focus on making this team and Colt would move on again soon.
She put her focus, instead, on her new approach to fixing her and Bacchus’s relationship. On fixing her. She was twenty-five years old. It was time for her to take charge of her life and career. If she didn’t start directing things, figuring out who she was and what she wanted, everyone else was going to do it for her. And that was unacceptable.
With Dale’s coaching getting her and Bacchus nowhere fast, she began working with Colt in the afternoons, exploring some of the techniques he’d used on his case similar to Bacchus’s. Given her horse had, in fact, jumped the creek on the way home from the lake, she thought there might be something there.
They were making baby steps—tiny amounts of progress. Now if only she could make herself immune to the man giving the instructions.
Kay caught her as she walked into the house to get ready for the party, insisting she come greet the Hendersons who would stay the weekend. Toeing off her muddy boots in the entrance way, she walked into the salon. Knox was as flirtatious as ever—she as uninterested as ever. Exercising the briefest of social niceties, she excused herself to go to her room.
Her father intercepted her before she could, pulling her into his study. “Dale tells me you’re still working with Colt Banyon,” he said, shutting the door. “Why?’
She lifted her chin. “Because I want to. Because I think it’s going to help Bacchus.”
Clayton Hargrove leaned back against his desk, tall, cool, southern elegance in gray trousers and a white shirt. “What you’re doing is wasting your time. That stuff is nonsense he’s teaching you.”
“I’m going to decide what’s right and wrong for me from now on.”
“Excuse me?”
She crossed her arms over her chest. “I am twenty-five years old, Daddy. I’m not a child. I need to start managing my own life and career.”
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