by A. C. James
I ate the most expensive meal I’d ever had in my life in contemplative silence. My head swam from the champagne, sake, and wine. I rarely drank, but couldn’t bring myself to refuse when thoughts of my birth mother and my past preoccupied me. All this talk about money had my thoughts wandering in a direction I didn’t like to travel.
When kids found out you were in the system, they made fun of you. Or worse, they thought you did something bad to get there. The only thing those kids had that I didn’t was parents. I never knew my father, and my mother was dead. And I guess that was my fault since she died during childbirth. But it’s hard enough being shifted around from place to place, without the added pressure of not being able to explain where I came from. Or why I saw things other people couldn’t.
On top of that, dinner with Arie made me a little nervous. Beyond the species difference, obviously other barriers that shouldn’t matter really did. Judging from my surroundings and his car, he had money. It seemed like we came from two different worlds. I wanted him so bad, but it conflicted with another part of me that couldn’t help but wonder how we could be together with all of these differences. And how old was Arie anyway?
If I wasn’t drunk already, I was getting there.
Arie seemed to be studying me, almost as if he were warring with himself. “Holly, maybe it’s better for you if you keep your distance from me,” he said, breaking the silence. His expression looked pained.
“Stay away from you? How can I stay away from you? You just pop up whenever you feel like it and come and go as you please,” I said, shooting him a hostile look.
“Holly, I know that I’ve pursued you, but you have to understand that I haven’t revealed myself to a human in a very long time. I won’t hurt you, but maybe it would be better if I left you alone.”
I heard longing in his voice—like he needed me in a way that felt both physical and emotional. I thought back to his lips against my ear as he whispered. He must want me, but it seemed like something held him back. Perhaps because he was a vampire, but I thought it was something more than that. My heart almost broke when I heard the ache in his voice. “Don’t you think that I should have some say in that? I don’t want to be left alone. I wouldn’t be here otherwise. But how do I know you won’t hurt me?”
“I’m sorry, I should have told you. We must not kill humans except under the most extreme circumstances, which would make it otherwise unavoidable. It puts us at risk of being revealed. You can be assured I will not harm you.”
As I considered this, the server presented Hawaiian hearts of palm with white miso, which were topped with a single mint leaf along with toasted sesame. A glass of Nigel wine made from Gruner Veltiner, the signature white grape of Austria, paired nicely. Or so the server who kept explaining the food and our drinks prattled off as she placed two glasses by our dishes. We barely noticed. We regarded each other as if each of us was trying to figure the other one out.
“You can’t kill me. What is that, like a law or something?” I asked.
“The Legacy passed our laws in 1614 after some notorious atrocities. We are of a species nearly human. Human life was not always honored, but after the crimes of one of our own, suspicions arose, and it became clear that limits needed to be placed.”
I swallowed my fear, speculating about what might have caused them to consider limits. “What is the Legacy? Do all vampires obey these laws? What if they don’t? Who upholds them?” I asked in a challenging tone. I only hoped it covered up how nervous I felt, but doubted my rapid-fire questions concealed my uncertainty, no matter how demanding I made my voice.
“The Legacy is the ruling body that controls vampire decree, and the Council of Sanguis brings those who do not before its Courts to face judgment. Do all humans obey human laws?”
“Of course not.”
“You would be smart to walk away. I don’t want you to. But do you understand the implications of your involvement with our kind?”
The searing heat in his voice brought about desire in me, despite my uncertainty, despite his uncertainty, and everything I’d ever known to be true. He said he wanted me to walk away, but the way he looked at me and his seductive voice was saying something else. I knew it would only get me into trouble, but at that moment I didn’t care. Maybe it was the wine that made me suddenly feel brave. Maybe it was because he was the first man who interested me in a long time. But he’s not a man. Does it matter? He looked at me like I was everything he wanted, and at the same time everything he didn’t want, rolled into one.
“You’re the one who initiated this. You walked into my life. And without very much hesitation, you shared who and what you are. So what if I don’t want to let you walk away now that you have?” I asked, grabbing his hand across the table.
“Then I can make you.”
When I grabbed his hand a barrage of images passed through my wine-hazed mind. A gray building with the letters HFC scrawled in graffiti that looked almost like a work of art. The most beautiful woman I’d ever seen walked into the building. She wore spike heels and lots of leather. The woman walked into a room unlike any I’d ever seen before. In the room I saw the redhead from my vision, and Arie lounged beside her.
The woman wearing leather and Arie sandwiched the redhead between them—the beautiful woman elongated her fangs, biting into her inner thigh, while Arie fisted his hand in her curls, pulling them to allow him access to her neck. Suddenly, the leather-clad woman released her thigh and shoved the redhead’s skirt even higher. Her hand moved up the woman’s thigh. She fingered her while her thumb moved in circles over her clit. The redhead let out a low moan, spreading her legs even wider. Then the woman in leather plunged her finger into the redhead’s pussy. Arie pinched her nipple while still drinking from her neck. He guided her hand up to his cock and she squeezed his shaft through the taut fabric of his pants. Releasing her neck, a look of pleasure curved his mouth.
The images dissipated. My breathing became hot and jagged. Astonished and turned on, I hastily pulled my hand away from Arie. I envied the redhead from my vision. At that moment I wanted nothing more than to feel Arie pinch my nipples and make me moan.
“What did you see?” he asked in an irritatingly seductive voice that taunted me.
“Nothing.” I looked down, toying with my gray sweater again.
“You’re lying. Tell me.”
I flinched at hearing my own words, which reflected little of what I really wanted to tell him. I downed the glass of Nigel uncharacteristically in several long gulps, setting the empty glass aside. I hated lying. I had to lie every day to hide my clairvoyance from everyone.
Again, the server appeared, bringing a long white oval dish. Apparently, it contained foie gras, hamachi, and mojama, and with it she brought another wine—this one from Spain. I didn’t think I could drink any more without getting drunk. At this point, do you really care? I had never wanted to hit someone while simultaneously wanting them to fuck me senseless more in my life. And I found myself wanting to do that on more than one occasion with Arie. Sometimes I wanted to hit him for showing off or sneaking up on me. Other times I wanted to kiss him. And sometimes I couldn’t tell which I wanted to do more.
“What is HFC?” I asked.
“So that’s what you saw. It’s really none of your concern.”
“I’m making it my concern,” I said with a slur.
A dark curl fell across Arie’s forehead. I bit my lip and resisted the urge to brush it back into place. “Once you know, you can never go back. Are you sure you want to know?”
“Does it matter? It’s not like you’re going to tell me anyway.”
“Aren’t you afraid of what I might do and what I could do to you right now if I wanted to?”
My intake of breath was almost audible as I considered his words, meant to scare me away, but then I realized he couldn’t do anything. Not with their rules about not killing humans. It made his words an idle threat. And he had told me so many times that he wo
uldn’t hurt me. I stifled a laugh. “You can’t hurt me. You won’t. And you have no idea what I want you to do to me.” I covered a hand over my mouth. Did I just say that? Shit. No more wine. I dropped my hand to the table and let out a sigh. “I know it would be complicated, but when I’m with you it doesn’t seem to matter. You said so yourself, you can’t kill me. Is that all you drink—human blood—or is there another way?”
An amused smile curved his mouth. “Holly, it’s kind of like a virus, in a way. It seems that it only spreads through sharing blood when someone is very near to death. We need human blood, just like humans sometimes need a blood transfusion. If you were taken to a hospital, they would hardly consider giving you animal blood, would they? The life essence is not the same,” Arie explained.
“If it’s kind of like a virus then maybe there’s a cure,” I said, musing aloud.
An unnecessarily large dish containing a small portion of turbot with yuzu butter came to our table. I forked it as I contemplated what Arie had just told me. It tasted mildly of citrus.
Arie watched me eat as if gauging my reaction, and I took another bite.
“There is no cure. None that we’ve found, except for a supernatural bloodline that’s very rare. It’s neither vampire nor human blood that can reverse vampirism.”
“A rare bloodline?” I asked, even though I knew I wouldn’t get a straight answer. “I have a pretty good idea what that building in my vision looks like. Maybe I’ll just look for HFC on my own. I’m sure I can find it. And maybe then I’ll get some answers.”
I didn’t add that I was sure figuring it out would be easy with the Internet. But would a place associated with vampires be listed? Perhaps it was just a common strip joint. Except if that were the case I didn’t think he would be so secretive about it. Either way, after the vision, I had to know more. Maybe I’d read one too many erotic romance novels and it would finally get me into trouble. Part of me wanted to find out what it felt like to be the girl trapped between them, while another part of me wished I could pull off wearing leather. I’d probably injure myself or someone else in those stilettos. Yet there was something about Arie that went beyond him being a vampire, beyond my attraction to him. It felt good to be seen. No one could ever understand having the Sight, but Arie accepted that. I didn’t have to hide.
“Your fierce determination is moving. Frustrating, but moving just the same. If you still feel the same way later perhaps I’ll take you to HFC and you can see for yourself,” Arie said with a faint smile.
Suddenly, he reached across the yellow cedar table, cupping my chin in his palm. I felt him try to dazzle me and I resisted with all the effort I could manage. “Holly, my world is more dangerous than you could possibly imagine. Ask me to stay away? I don’t know if I can, but ask me anyway,” he said in voice that practically begged.
I dropped my fork and it clanked into my plate. I thought my heart might just stop beating right then and there. All my confusion was mixed with an unspeakable desire. It was impossible to deny the hypnotic pull whenever he got too close. I had an overwhelming urge to lean forward and kiss him. The idea was not without consequences. This whole dinner was a convoluted mess, and if I ever told Trina, or anyone for that matter, they’d never believe me anyway.
“Look, I don’t know if I should laugh, but this is clearly a ridiculous delusion brought about by my own overactive imagination.” I had to say something to avoid either me kissing him or him kissing me. I wanted him to, but not after he’d just tried to dazzle me. And if not for the wine I’d feel more than a little embarrassed that I’d mentioned wanting him to do things to me.
“Didn’t anyone ever warn you that the things you imagine can become quite real?”
“You know they throw people in the loony bin for saying things like that.”
Arie laughed. “Then you and I might just be in the company of people who really know how to use their imagination.”
Our halibut with manila clams, served with a chardonnay, broke our intense eye contact. I looked down at the fork I had dropped and felt some of my resolve slip away.
“Thank you for dinner. I’ve never had anything quite like it.”
“I’m glad that you like it. I’ll make sure your Beetle is taken care of before you have to go to work tomorrow. You do have to go to work?”
“Yes, but that’s really not necessary. I can call Trina and have her pick me up. I’m sure she won’t mind. Or I could always take the bus.”
-She won’t mind, but I will.- He touched my mind with telepathic communication.
“What is that? What did you just do?”
Arie flashed a brilliant lopsided grin. “Telepathy is a clever little trick of mine. Fun, isn’t it?”
“No, not fun. Can you read my mind?” Please tell me he can’t.
“If I could read your mind there would be no need for conversation.”
“Well, I don’t like your little parlor trick. Don’t do it again. Is there anything else that you can do?”
Arie grinned. I felt drawn into eyes that seemed to be laughing at me. “I can do lots of things.”
Ignoring his innuendo, I looked away. The server returned with a selection of sashimi in a dashi broth for shabu-shabu, a traditional Japanese offering. With it were two glasses of Riesling. I grimaced at the thought of more wine.
“It’s different for all of us. Like I said, we can scan auras. Some of us can control things, like the weather, or shapeshift. I suppose it all depends on strength and age.”
I thought about the ominous threat and the clouds morphing. But I didn’t want to say anything that might have him trying to scare me off again. Except that now I wondered if he knew and that’s why he showed up when he did. Was he trying to protect me? If so, what was he trying to protect me from? “I suppose that makes sense. Not everyone is good at the same thing.”
Arie raised an eyebrow.
“Humans. Not all humans are good at the same things,” I said, clarifying perhaps unnecessarily, but the wine was getting to me.
Arie smiled. “So how long have you worked at the Coffee Grind?”
“You ask an awfully mundane question. Why would you possibly care?”
“Don’t you think you’re being a bit rude?”
I flushed. “Sorry. I’ve been there a little over a year. It’s okay, I guess, and it’s quiet, which is…good for me.”
“Why?”
“It’s not easy. The Sight isn’t predictable. Sometimes it comes in a waking vision and other times it comes as a dream. I can’t control when or what I see. And the less contact I have with other people the better.”
Arie’s eyes hardened infinitesimally.
“What are you thinking?” I asked.
He sipped his wine and it seemed like his thoughts took him somewhere else. I didn’t want to intrude and waited for him to continue.
“Holly, the Sight is something that usually runs in families. Didn’t anyone teach you how to control it? It’s rare, but I’ve seen it before. But I wouldn’t be able to tell you how to use it. You’d be better off asking someone else with your gift.”
“I never knew my parents. My mother had me when she was sixteen and died giving birth to me. My father was eighteen and went off to college. I guess my grandmother couldn’t take me in, but I don’t really know all the details. I grew up in the foster-care system. No one adopted me when I was a baby since I was premature and had RSV. I had to be on a ventilator in the NICU and parents don’t want babies with health problems. If you’re paying that much money, you want a perfectly healthy baby. And when I got older people were afraid of me until I learned to keep my mouth shut about the visions. Then I got lucky when I met the Ellis family. They adopted me.”
Arie nodded. He reached across the table and brushed a stray chestnut strand out of my eyes, which glistened with unshed tears. I don’t know why I told him all that. I never talked about it with anyone. Even after a year, Trina didn’t know that I’d been in the sys
tem or that I was adopted. I liked to keep that to myself. I was surprised that I’d told him, and wasn’t sure whether he dazzled it out of me or if I told him of my own accord. Maybe it was because he didn’t look at me like I was a science project, knowing that I had the Sight. And he looked at me like I was so much more. I didn’t know how to explain it, and the wine made everything more confusing.
He pulled his hand away. Our main entree of surf and turf came in the form of wagyu beef and Maine lobster—a potato fondant came with it. I rolled my eyes as yet another wine was paired with the dish. I had lost count of how many glasses had been brought to our table.
“Mmm…so good,” I said in a muffled voice around a delicious bite.
The black truffle emulsion the wagyu beef came served in made the meat mouth-wateringly tender. When I looked up from my dish, Arie was watching me eat as if waiting for my tears or a hysterical outburst. I almost laughed at the scared expression on his face. Obviously, he didn’t know me very well.
“The less intelligence you share with people about your life, the better. What you share is only evidence,” Arie said wisely.
I contemplated his words. Clearly, he knew a thing or two about sharing information. “I guess you’ve had to become…artful about what you communicate.”
“A skill acquired with experience—an essential one to my survival.”
“Then you know exactly what I’m talking about.”
-Unfortunately, I do.- His psychic communication didn’t feel intrusive this time. It resonated with a part of me that felt understood. I suppose we all had our secrets. I had to learn to hide the Sight because otherwise I might end up in a loony bin. It made me shiver to think back to the one foster family that dragged me to countless doctors, trying to figure out what was wrong with me and thinking they could medicate it out of me.