by N. R. Willis
“Saved your life.” Or maybe I was just saved by an arrogant Seth.
“Seth!” I punched him in the chest which caused him to promptly drop me on the ground and land with a thud.
“Ow! Oh my god Seth!” I groaned and rolled over on the ground and slowly stood up. There’s no way I was milking that.
“What? I still saved your life.” He shrugged. What a butt head. Well I guess the other guy was worse…
“That idiot tried to kill me!” I cried. “HEY DUMB ASS, WAY TO GO!” I yelled up the cliff. I wish I could fly so I could go get this douche.
“I don’t think he can hear you. He took off…” Seth pointed out.
“That has got to be the dumbest attempt at murder ever!” I seethed. Seriously, I’m not sure you could do much worse. Who tries to throw someone off a cliff when her super bad ass demon friend is standing right next to her? This guy, obviously.
“Yeah…” Seth raised an eyebrow at me. “I think it’s time I get you home.”
“I think it’s time…” I just so happened to notice something out of the corner of my eye. “Oh mother-“ I was cut off when Seth pressed me to the cliff face. A gust of wind hit us but nothing happened.
“Saved your life again.” He whispered. He was way to freaking close to my face.
“He threw your car at us!” I cried. It was on fire. I could see the glow over Seth’s shoulder. “Your car! How the hell are we supposed to get back now?”
“This guy is the worst murderer ever.” Seth muttered. I had to agree.
“I think we’ve already established this. Now, how are we getting back?” I tried to ignore the fact that is face was still in my face.
“Don’t worry about it.” And he walked away from me. Like ditching me almost.
I blame Kara for all of this.
Chapter 6: Niklas the Creeper
Tuesday August 28th, 2012
1:07 pm
You’ll never guess what happened to me earlier.
I honestly don’t even know where to start. Yesterday was easily the single most preposterous day I have ever had. If you take every crazy adventure story I’ve ever told you, wrap it up in a giant burrito with some taco sauce and guacamole and multiply it by 16, you might start to get an idea of what yesterday was like.
OK, maybe that is a little dramatic… But after the whole someone trying to kill me thing… well I definitely wanted to forget about it and pretend to be normal again. I probably should have been more concerned but the dude sucked so I really wasn’t.
Anyways… So you know how I’d had that conversation with Liam the other day, well, things have been kind of weird since then. It’s like he has been avoiding me and our group of friends to suck face with Kara. If I didn’t like Kara so much this wouldn’t bother me but when there is valuable information on the line; he goes missing!
Not only that but he decides to disappear completely today the one day that I was actually going to hold him to it, the one day I was going to do something about his knowing too much… ness…
Of course I have to do something about this. Like maybe Jello his toilet, make the water in his toilet bowl Jello… I’m just kidding.
But really, I had to figure out what the deal with Niklas and Liam was. They were obviously in cahoots. I’m thinking Liam moved our lunch spot because of Niklas…
So what do I do about it? I spy on him! That’s the best way to get information. Actually there is a better way but I try not to do that. I am after all pretending to be human.
Wait… you were thinking the other thing weren’t you?
Anyways, the point is, it was a little hard to spy on Liam and Niklas if they decided to disappear for a while. I guess I could have spied on Kara and Liam but I don’t feel like watching them suck face. Definitely not my favorite passed time.
So I knew I had to change my plan. I considered having to go straight to the source but as it turns out, he came straight to me… and at the worst time possible.
Let me just back up and begin with when your only friends are a bunch of girls, they tend to make things seem more dramatic than they actually are. So when Niklas walked up to us at lunch it left all of my friends swooning and not to mention assuming the worst…
So he walked up and everyone was checking him out. They hoped that they were special and he wanted to ask them out or something. Yuck. Meanwhile, I was just sitting there because I’m not really fond of vampires and I just want him to take his pick and run off.
Leave me in peace bro!
At first he said he didn’t want anything just to hang out in the company of a bunch of lovely ladies. I told him he was full of it. So he countered with a something along the line of “you’re the reason I came over here.” Yeah guy, way to be freaking creepy.
And then he said something that would leave any girl swooning.
“Can I borrow a lighter?” Was he seriously going to sit there and smoke? He pulled me aside to smoke. Awesome. Not. But for some dumb reason I found myself taking the Zippo I carried out of my pocket.
Why I was carrying a zippo in my back pocket at school, don’t ask. I can’t explain.
He leans against a railing to further his cool points but it’s not working. I’d already had enough of his shenanigans. I knew that he was up to something.
Vampires always seem to be scheming… they always have an agenda… Or they’re just always trying to look sexy. (Vampires are vain creatures that’s the difference between them and their distance cousins; the demons.) I by no means thought smoking was sexy.
“You know the guys from your crowd normally never hang with people like us.” I think I have a terminal case of the word vomits… I should not have said anything to him.
“The girls from your crowd never let us.” He mocked me with a, I’ll admit sexy smirk. What? Just because vampires are vain doesn’t mean that they’re not attractive.
I looked at him cautiously. “You and I both know you didn’t come over here just for a light.” I wanted to poke him but I knew that would be over kill.
He only smirked, again, in response to my inquiry.
“So what is it then?” I pushed, letting my stubborn side show. “Smirks don’t count as answers.”
“You know there is something about you.” I did not like the tone in his voice. He already knew too much, I could tell. I might have to ask mom for a transfer, just to be safe…
“Oh, since you’re so smart what is it about me?” I mocked in attempts to get him from thinking that I actually have powers.
“Me.” As if that wasn’t bad enough he finally decided to stamp out his cigarette and promptly leave. What kind of manners are those? I thought vampires were taught to have more manners than that but I was obviously wrong. Maybe it is the flare for dramatics. Stupid vampires.
“THAT DOESN’T MAKE ANY SENSE!” My yelling didn’t help anything. If anything it made people stare… even more than they already were. I wish I had a water balloon to throw at him. That would show him!
When I got back to my friends they were full of questions. They wanted to know all about the elusive Niklas and I didn’t really care to tell but I did anyways because I am a fop.
“What did he want?” it was a question I was unsure how to answer so I answered it unsurely.
“I have no idea.” I admitted to them. I was ready to go home… and I still am because this class is boring obviously because I am writing during it.
9:42 pm
You know who came over to dinner tonight?
No one; I just wanted to psych you out. But speaking of dinner guests, I have yet to figure out what the deal was that my father was making. It seems weird to me that he wants to make a deal over something that does not include his family.
Oh my gosh! Maybe he wants to unbind himself from us because he wants to live a freer life as a bachelor… or maybe he wants to be a rock star. Ok… that is kind of blasphemous to think that my own father wants to leave us but he really isn’t around.
Right?
Chapter 7: Prissy Princesses
Monday Sept 3, 2012
7:11 pm
You know who is evil; the stinking queen bees at my school. They’re such losers.
Yeah, that’s right. I said it. There are cliché queen bee’s in our midst and their claws come out when think they’re being threatened.
Think of any and every cliché teenage movie you have ever seen. There is always that group of territorial little girls who think they rule the school (and therefore the world) and anyone to even looks at what they consider their territory is the enemy. One wrong move and they’re irked for life.
And I have irked them…
Awesome sauce. Yeah, not. I sometimes think that TV shows and movies give girls the idea for some of this crap that they pull but they decide to make it a game a game of; how original can I make this TV show prank/ humiliation plot?
Before I go into this whole irking of the vampire prissy business let me just say that the ever so powerful Niklas has gone missing… Yeah, did not show up to school today. Maybe this was the princesses doing. Or maybe it was the whole demon business but either way I’m kind of screwed.
So, his Royal Highness Niklas screwed me over by the simple action of talking to me. How, you may ask? Well… you see, prissy princesses love Niklas. And when princesses love someone they don’t take kindly to that someone taking a girl aside and speaking with her.
Especially if someone is a “human” or what they think is a human. Oh, did I forget to mention, said princesses are vampires.
My love and admiration for them has grown ever so much.
I hope you can feel the sarcasm in that.
Anyways, so I came to school this morning like I usually do, you know… normal like and I walk in and HELLO! Dia is walking down the hall.
Why the freak are all these people staring at me?
I don’t know maybe it has something to do with the idiots. But I didn’t immediately come to that realization instead I thought maybe I sat in some gum or something on the way to school…
Nope.
Just drama time. So I find my friends, minus Jade who is still missing at this point and Liam… oddly enough. They’re just standing in their usual corner whispering amongst themselves. And I of course want to know what is going on so that is the first thing that comes out of my mouth when I see them.
“Apparently, someone has been spreading rumors… and they’re not the nice kind.” Kara was looking a little hesitant to tell me what was going on but I would make her give me the answers.
If you haven’t noticed I like getting answers.
“And that would be…” This was my good cop… I didn’t want to have to play bad cop because it can get pretty messy.
“Not so nice things…” She averted my eyes. I didn’t like that.
“Don’t make me pull out my bag of tricks.” I told her.
“You wouldn’t.” The look on her face told me she would break.
“I so would.” I may or may not have glared at her buttttt…. That’s subjective.
“No way… no. You’re going to shoot the messenger. You always do!” I almost launched at Kara for being such a pansy.
“TELL ME NOW!” Ok, so maybe I was being a little dramatic but where would we be in life if there was no drama… am I right or am I right?
“Well, they kind of all think you’re a witch…” I could not hear the rest of what she said but everyone cringed.
“They think… I’m a witch. That doesn’t even make sense. Now tell me the rest.” I gave her the look.
“And they said… you were a broom pilot.” She paused, “among other things.”
“A what?! Oh my gosh! THIS IS PRICELESS!” And of all things to do I started laughing. Yeah, I’m awesome like that but seriously… broom pilot. Who cares about the other rumors that, was priceless.
I think my friends thought I was doing weed at this point… but I really wasn’t. Plus people like me cannot do weed. It doesn’t have the same effect. Actually it has a VERY strange effect that I cannot and will not explain right now. It’s a secret.
Shhh…
So, I don’t know if I would have been so mad at the princesses if they didn’t do a bunch of little things throughout the day and mess me up like tripping me in the hallways. It was totally juvenile, by the way. Throwing stuff at me in class which was stupid. And last but not least erasing my name on my assignment and trading it with theirs so that I would get marked down. Pen on my papers from now on.
Yeah, annoying little queen bees. I’m concerned it will escalate because after school was cornered by the queen of all of them and interrogated. Yeah, you know like in all the movies where the girl likes this guy but some other girl think she owns him and he totally doesn’t even like her but she’s like I’M QUEEN OF THE WORLD… Oops, lost track. The point is that she did the whole, “stay away from Niklas, he’s mine.”
Deal and I was like:
“I don’t even like vampires.” And she just laughed at me. The ass hole just laughed at me like I was some sort of idiot that only existed to scrape the gum off her shoes. As if. Douche bag.
“Everyone wants to be us, even Jade.” So I was really confused for a second there. Why would she mention Jade? She didn’t know that Jade even existed until… until… like never. Why would she say that Jade wanted to be a vampire?
“What the hell? Do you even know who Jade is?” I asked vehemently. I loved my friends and when someone insulted them I did not take too kindly.
She smiled sickly sweet at me and I saw her minions flanking. I was about to cut my losses and run away when Jade came from their ranks… paler than normal, “Of course I know Jade. She’s one of us.”
I wanted to beat someone down but instead I said, “I don’t even know what to say right now.” The vampires look satisfied as I clenched my fist and gritted my teeth. I didn’t say anything else. I just walked away.
8:04 pm
Jade was never really the type to hang out with the vampires. She was able to attain a certain amount of popularity in her own way. I mean she was someone that a lot of people knew but she wasn’t like insanely popular.
Maybe she wanted to be popular so she turned into a vampire to lure more people.
That’s actually a ridiculous idea, right? Why is that even a legit plan? It’s not that’s why. No, I think there is a much better explanation to this nonsense… like the guy, the one who is trying to kill me!
So here we go. Here is the master… idea.
Jade was one of my best friends. She decided hey, I’m going to adventure and adventures somewhere and winds up lost but what she doesn’t know is that someone is following her. So when she turns back the dude jumps out of the shadows!
BAM! He turns her into a vampire. That is just the beginning of his plot!
He turns Jade into a vampire and she wakes up days later, this is why she was late to school, I mean why she didn’t show up for the first few days.
She wakes up and is like “why does everything smell?” Seriously, the city smells awful. And then she runs off, back home where she is accosted by the Queen bees who are in on this plan. They teach her dumb stuff like how to be more girly and shtuff.
Jade is reluctant and finally she goes to school where she runs into me. They’re hoping that I make her want to eat a real human (which won’t happen because vampires can’t really smell me) and kill me.
The end.
Wild theory right? But hey, you never know. It could totally happen.
Wait… its eight o clock at night, why is someone calling me?
8:43 pm
How the F did Niklas get my number?
How?! And why did he call me?! This is weird, and if the prissy princesses find out, there will be hell to pay. Not to mention if they found out what he called for.
A booty call.
Not really. I just like being random. Anyways
he called me about our date… apparently he spoke to my dad and I have a date tonight.
To which I said, “what do you really want?” I was a little suspicious, as I am of everyone. Especially the hot guys… They aren’t to be trusted, just looked at.
And he responded with the cliché: “You.” I almost laughed. What a dumb ass.
“Yeah well, I want a giant Panda from Santa for Christmas but we can’t always get what we want now can we?” The terminal case of the word vomits strikes again!