by Alicia Rae
The adorable smile on her face told me she knew she was on the right path. She glided her hands from my shoulders and down to my arms where she gripped my biceps. “Oh, and the incredible things you do to me when your hands are on me.”
She set the pad of her finger over my lips. “I love your soft mouth and what comes out of it.” She repositioned it to the center of my chest and caressed a small circle. “And I love this, more than anything. You’re the most caring, compassionate man I know.”
My lips passionately kissed hers. My heart hammered against her hand as I continued to sweep my mouth along hers, lovingly and tenderly, adoring her.
“Colton, quit smooching your girl on my bed and get your ass out here!” Damon yelled.
I lowered my forehead against Paige’s and sighed. “Damn. Time to go to work.” Unable to resist her sweet mouth, I kissed her once more, and then I regretfully rose from the bed. “Until later, baby.” I winked at her.
“Counting on it.” She puckered her lips and kissed the air.
It was half past ten in the morning by the time we all made a plan of action to tackle the remains of the equipment building before we spread out over the grounds outside. All the ladies would be taking the smaller projects again while the guys were going to dig out posts and move broken boards with the tractors.
I caught Paige heading toward the tractor in the backyard. I casually asked, “Where are you going?”
She turned to glance at me over her shoulder. With a big smile, she said, “To get my Gator, so I can load the back of it, and we can make less trips to the Dumpster.”
“Good idea.” I nodded as she continued onward.
“Colton,” Kyle called after me.
I spun to face him. “Yeah?”
“We are almost out of gas for the tractors. Do you have any more?” he asked.
I pointed to the left side of the house. “Yep. Two large cans are in the garage. That should get us through today.”
“Okay, I will start with the first section of posts around the front of the building and then bring the second tractor around to the door to fill it.”
“Sounds good.”
The sound of a deafening scream filled the backyard and put me on instant alert. Instinctively knowing it was Paige, I went running full speed ahead in the direction where she’d gone. Part of the tree line and tractor were blocking my view. I couldn’t see her or her utility vehicle.
“Paige! Are you okay?” I called after her.
I received no response.
The worst kind of fear plagued me and seized my heart so tightly that I could barely manage to pull more air into my lungs. I forced my legs to move faster and harder with every stride.
A panicked loud weep came from behind my tractor. “Sadie! Oh my gosh, Sadie! Please be okay.”
I rounded the right side of the tractor and saw Paige collapsed on the grass between the machinery and her Gator. I fell to my knees beside her, unable to grasp what my eyes were telling me was real.
Sadie was lying on the ground, covered in mud from her head to her paws. Her eyes were closed, and blood was everywhere. A large metal trap was clamped around her back right leg, and at the odd angle, her leg appeared to be broken.
Paige was leaning over Sadie, gently patting her fur. Her fingers trembled profusely as though she were worried she might hurt Sadie more.
“Sadie,” Paige wept, over and over again.
I came closer to evaluate, and Paige rotated her head toward me.
Her eyes were red and filled with thick tears that spilled down her cheeks and onto the grass. “Colton, I-I don’t think she’s breathing.”
Although I already knew the truth, I still carefully set my hand on Sadie’s neck to feel for a pulse or any sign of life. Then, I felt around her rib cage.
There was nothing. Sadie was not moving. She was stiff and cool to the touch. It was too late.
As I went to remove my hand, it grazed over what was an unmistakable bullet wound.
I briefly closed my eyes in pain—not only for my own grief, but also for Paige’s. “Paige, she’s gone.”
“No, this can’t be happening!” Paige screamed as she shook her dog. “Sadie!”
My eyes blurred, and I swallowed thickly.
I’d gotten so wrapped up in chores around the farm today that I’d completely spaced that I was supposed to tell Paige that Sadie was missing in the first place. To top it off, this kind of trap was illegal to use in Tennessee. Plus, for hundreds of miles around us, there was only private property.
That could only mean one thing. My worst fears were becoming my reality.
I pulled Paige to face me and gathered her in my arms.
“No! No! It can’t be!” She pounded her fists against my chest. “Please, Colton, do something!”
I took the blows and held her tighter, trying to offer her some sort of comfort or solace, as deep sobs rocketed through her body. Forcing back my own emotions of hurt and hatred, I scooped her up into my arms, curling her body into my chest, before rising to my feet.
I spun around to see Kyle, Jason, Blake, and Damon all gravely looking at me as their wives’ eyes apprehensively glistened at me, waiting for me to confirm what they already knew to be true.
I shook my head from side to side. It was too late. There was nothing we could do to save Sadie…and there was nothing I could do to protect my girl from suffering this heartache.
Without a word, I carried Paige up to the house where I went straight into my room, kicking the door closed behind me. My neck was soaked from her tears as I laid her down with me on the bed and covered us both, never once letting her go.
Hours and hours passed as I held Paige in my arms. As always, her grief was my own, and I could feel her heart breaking. Paige passionately loved all her animals. They were a part of her family and mine, too.
I heard my tractor running loads back and forth across the yard, but I didn’t have the strength to leave Paige’s side. I had to stay with her. I wanted to stay with her. It was where I belonged.
I hung my head in shame and doubt as Paige went into a restless sleep. All her suffering was because of me. I’d failed to protect her and shield her from harm. Instead, I was the cause of it.
The previous night of bumping into Eddie wore on my thoughts now that I had a minute to myself to think.
Who the fuck bandages a fracture at the wrist?
My strong intuition told me there was more to that story.
I sighed. I hadn’t even had a spare minute to investigate what had happened to his hand before the next blow came knocking on my door. I felt as if Paige and I were on a rapid downward spiral, and there was no time to grab a hold of anything to break our fall or even a split second to catch our breaths before the next blow.
Now, here I was, trying to comfort my girl at her loss.
How much more grief and heartache can we endure?
I ran my hand through my hair in frustration and let my head tilt back against the headboard while deliberating what I would give to make all this shit go away and leave us in peace.
A knock pulled me from my thoughts, and I glanced at the door. “Come in,” I said in a low voice.
Kyle walked into the room and sat at the end of the bed. His expression was dejected. “I’m so sorry, man.” He sighed, shaking his head. “You had enough shit on your plate without this.”
He was right. As the seconds passed, I had to redirect myself because my despair was quickly being replaced with rage at the man responsible for this.
I replied, “I’m the one who’s sorry. You guys came all this way to give me a hand. I should have been out there today.” Guilt inundated me.
Kyle’s jaw flexed as he lifted his hand. “Stop. Not another word. You don’t need to explain yourself to me or the rest of us. We all get it, and we would have done the exact same thing.”
“Thank you for understanding.” I expelled all the air from my lungs. “I can’t thank you enough for w
hat you’ve done for me.”
Kyle shook his head at me. “You don’t need to.”
His views of family and brotherhood entered my mind, and without a sliver of a doubt, I knew his beliefs were point on. I’d do anything to help him if he ever needed me.
Accepting when to drop the subject before I pissed him off, I queried, “What time do you all fly out?”
“I’ll be dropping them off at the airport at seven tonight.” At my perplexed expression, Kyle elaborated, “I’m going to stay at a hotel here in town, so you two can have some privacy while I oversee the reconstruction of your buildings. I want to also keep a watchful eye on things and still be close by if you need me in case of an emergency.”
I opened my mouth to speak, but he cut me off, “Don’t even think about arguing with me on any of this. It’s already done. Jason, Damon, and Blake will fly home with their wives and escort Lily home safely for me, so she can be with our kids. When we are ready, the guys are going to fly back with a labor crew, so we can knock out these buildings quickly and efficiently.”
“Kyle, I can’t ask you to do this. It’s not right.”
He slightly narrowed his eyes. “You’re not asking. I’m telling you.”
I grinned at the man who I’d been blessed enough to have as my brother since I was a young teen. I didn’t know what I had done to deserve such a friend, but damn, I wasn’t going to let him go.
I couldn’t resist a cocky grin from plastering itself across my face as I told him, “And I thought I was a stubborn fucker.”
Kyle mirrored my expression with one of his own. “I’ve been told that from time to time.”
“Does that mean daily?”
Kyle shrugged his bulky shoulders as a wicked glint filled his eyes. “Pretty much.” He stood to his feet and glanced down at me. “Take care of your girl. We’ll talk more later.”
He walked out and quietly shut the door before I even had the chance to thank him.
I AWOKE IN THE DARK and heard the steady beat of Colton’s heart beneath me. My eyes felt dry and sore as I tipped my head up to see the silhouette of his face.
“Hey,” he crooned softly. His hands rubbed up and down my back.
“Hi.” I blinked as I felt another rush of emotions hit me. “It wasn’t all just a bad dream, was it?”
He pulled me up closer, and I rested my hand against his neck. “I’m afraid not, but I wish it were.”
“Me, too,” I murmured so that I wouldn’t cry. “I-I need to tell my parents what happened to Sadie.”
“Okay,” he breathed before kissing my forehead. “Do you want to head over there now or wait a little while longer?”
“I don’t think I’ll make it if I wait.” I was unable to stifle my cry. “Since Kayla left for college and I left the nest, Sadie and Mom have become so close. She’s going to be devastated. Will you come with me?”
“Of course,” he answered. “I wouldn’t leave your side even if you wanted me to.”
I drew my lips to his and kissed him. “Thank you.”
I sat across from my parents in their home. “Sadie’s gone.”
My dad held my mom’s hand as I was forced to endure her expression. Her look of complete shock and horror changed to disbelief.
I hadn’t even told Mom the worst part yet, and for some reason, I prayed she wouldn’t ask. My heart hurt, and my stomach rolled.
“No, it can’t be.” Mom defiantly shook her head. “Sadie roams around all the time. She’ll come home.”
I realized now that maybe I hadn’t explained the circumstances correctly, so I took a deep breath and said, “Mom, Sadie passed away this morning.”
Mom’s eyes altered again, blurring with tears of anguish. Dad looped his arm around Mom, and she leaned into him. She threw her hands over her face and sobbed softly. Her shoulders rose and fell with each wave of grief.
Dad returned his attention to me. “What happened, Paige?”
I glanced at Colton. I was at a loss as to where to begin. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t make the words leave my mouth, knowing they would shatter my mom even more.
Colton tightened his hold around me in an effort to comfort me.
He quietly cleared his throat. “Late this morning, we found Sadie behind the tractor in my backyard. By the time we reached her, it was too late.” He somberly glanced at my mom as she turned to face him. “I’m deeply sorry for your loss, Mrs. Summers.”
I shifted fractionally to gaze up at Colton. Inside, I felt numb as the morning of finding Sadie replayed in my mind like a horror movie. Her coat had been knotted with clumps of mud, but in all her years of wandering, Sadie had never come home filthy.
And the trap…
I knew the image would haunt me forever.
Blinking, I stared over at my mom, desperately wanting to save her from the truth, the misery.
Colton must have agreed with my inner reservations because he didn’t go into any more details. By the looks of my father though, I could tell he had questions. He loved my mom, and I could see it in his eyes that he knew there was more to Sadie’s story, but he didn’t want to ask and burden my mother with hearing the details.
My mom was the first to break the silence as she came to stand before me. “Thank you for coming, sweetheart.” Her smile was small and broken. “But I think I’ll go lie down and rest for a bit.”
I rose and opened my arms to hug her as I cried, “I’m so sorry, Mom. I wish I had found her in time to make a difference”—my hands trembled—“to save her.”
Mom strongly banded her arms around me. “It’s not your fault, Paige.” She kissed my cheek and then held me at arm’s length. “I love you.”
“Love you, too.”
As Mom walked off, Dad embraced me next. “Love you, kiddo.”
“Love you,” I replied, pulling back.
He wiped away my tears before outstretching his hand to Colton. When their hands touched, he said, “Take my daughter home, and get some rest. You and I will talk soon.”
“Yes, sir.” Colton nodded as my father left us.
My mind was stuck on my father’s endearment of home.
Yes, Colton is my home, I thought to myself.
We headed back to the ranch where we climbed into bed, and Colton pulled me into his body. I snuggled into his warmth, needing it to fight off the throbbing pain in my heart.
The next couple of days passed in a blur as I’d grieved deeply and tried to process what had happened to Sadie. Colton had constantly been at my side to offer me tender kisses and comforting hugs.
I’d checked in with my mom several times to make sure she was okay. Her soft sniffles into the phone had told me she was grieving, too, as I’d known she would be. There was no easy way to accept the loss of Sadie. She had been family, and we missed her dearly.
When Kyle had been here to help Colton around the ranch, he’d offered his condolences and asked me if there was anything he could do to ease my sorrows. But there wasn’t. I guessed only time would help.
So, I’d been trying to focus on Colton’s and Kyle’s excitement as they continued to plan the rebuilding of the barn and equipment building. Listening to the details of their ideas helped brighten my spirits day by day as I envisioned the future that lay ahead.
By the fifth day since the loss of Sadie, I found myself needing a breath of fresh air. I was surprised to find my feet carrying me toward the pasture to greet the horses.
Foster, a six-year-old saddlebred horse, was the first to greet me at the gate. When he stuck his head over it, I set my hand on the bridge of his nose and trailed my fingers up to his forehead, and then I repeated the motion. His hair was so silky and soft, and his eyes were gentle while he absorbed my affection.
For the first time in what seemed like forever, I felt relaxed and carefree, and it made me realize this, right here, was my happy place. Some horses could be such timid creatures when they met a new person, but once they built trust in someone
and realized no harm would come their way, they would open their hearts and welcome you with love and respect.
Nearly a year ago, I had been living my dream as a woman enraptured with training these beautiful animals. By earning their trust and respect, I could build a special, unique bond with them.
But I’d allowed my accident on the river to steal my passion from beneath my feet and replace it with fear.
Disliking my weak state of mind, I shook away my thoughts and showered Foster with love. Right before the fire, I’d taken a leap of faith and ridden a horse for the first time since last year, and that ride had been with Foster.
“Hey, sweet boy.” I smiled at him.
The gelding let out a small snort and leaned into my touch. Four other horses approached the gate, curiously looking at me. They attempted to nudge Foster out of the way, but he stood his ground to soak up my affection.
I petted him for a few more minutes before moving along to the next horse in line. It was a stunning spotted Appaloosa.
“Hey, guys,” I crooned at the rest of the animals.
They were all shoving their way closer to me.
Foster nudged his body between two mares and jutted his nose toward my hand.
“Well, aren’t you an attention seeker?” I chuckled fondly as I raised my opposing hand to pet him, too. “You like to be in the spotlight, don’t you?”
I heard footsteps at my back.
Colton joined in my mirth. “Yes, he does.” He paused at my side and petted a beautiful bay-colored horse nearby. “Foster loves to monopolize all my time. In fact, I think he intentionally misbehaves just so he can spend an extra hour with me.”
Foster’s big innocent stare held me captive as I recalled he’d been my one and only ride preceding the fire. It was sad that everything in my and Colton’s lives lately had seemed to revolve around a devastating accident.
Refusing to let it sour my mood, I tilted my head at Colton to defend Foster. “I don’t know what you’re talking about. He was a perfect gentleman when I rode him.”
Colton rolled his eyes in jest. “He’s just trying to use his good looks to fool you.”