‘You pined for him?’
‘I did try to move on,’ Bri said, lifting her eyes to the doctor. ‘I really did, I promise, I dated other guys, but… But I was too curious about where he was and if he’d moved on… so I emailed him.’
‘A year ago.’
‘About that, yes,’ Bri said. ‘We started talking on the phone and we agreed to meet up.’
‘But what happened on the night of that date is what brings you here to me, isn’t it?’
‘It didn’t go to plan. I went to the restaurant, I was waiting in there, but Blaser was late so I went outside to call him and find out where he was.’
‘Can you tell me what happened?’ Lyssa asked in an ever-patient voice.
‘I’d rather not, you know… I’d rather not get into that in our first session.’
‘Ok,’ Lyssa said. ‘That’s completely fine and I’m glad that you were honest with me. It’s important that you are honest. You can always tell me if you’re uncomfortable with any subject, don’t ever feel under pressure.’
‘Thanks. I mean, I’m sure I’ll maybe get there… though I can’t be sure, can I? But it is why I’m here, what happened that night is why I’m here.’
‘I told Blaser that I would help you process that trauma and move on, that’s why he wanted you to come to me,’ Lyssa said to Bri. ‘But we can’t expect it all to happen in one session.’
‘No, I suppose not. I’ve been carrying my experience from last year with me since then. After it, I… I didn’t get in touch with Blaser. I shut myself off and stayed in Jersey. I didn’t want anything to do with anyone.’
‘That’s understandable.’
‘But my brother, Gary, was so worried about me, it was him that… He persuaded me to come home, to come back to North Carolina. He thought it was a good idea that I try to build a life for myself here, closer to home and family.’
‘That’s a very good suggestion. Gary must care for you a great deal.’
‘He does.’ Her brother wasn’t always the best at showing his emotions and they often manifested themselves in the wrong way. But Gary was her brother and the only family that she had left. Other than knowing that her father was in prison, she had no other connection to relatives. Her mother had been AWOL ever since her father went inside.
‘So you came back here?’
‘Three months ago,’ Bri said. ‘So many things have changed… but some things are just the same.’
‘You mean Blaser?’
‘Yeah,’ Bri said. ‘I’m staying with a friend, at least I was until she took off ten days ago. But I’m still living in her apartment. I didn’t want to stay with Gary and get sucked into his world again. I wanted to maintain my independence, I knew that it would be too easy to rely on him to do everything for me.’
‘That’s very sensible.’
‘A few weeks ago Blaser showed up at Erika’s door,’ Bri said. Her faded smile returned when she replayed that night. After hearing Erika say her name, Bri had approached the apartment door behind her friend and the vision of Blaser’s concerned scowl poured a warmth of familiarity into her even now. ‘We talked.’
‘And you’ve been seeing each other since?’
‘Not like that, not like seeing each other,’ Bri said, certain that she didn’t want Lyssa to get the wrong idea and pass those ideas on to her fiancé, Blaser’s brother. ‘He’s come over a couple of times and we’ve talked. We talk on the phone. When Gary was arrested a couple of weeks ago, Blaser came straight to me, you know? He didn’t even care that I whaled on him for what had happened between the two of them. He just… held me… You’re probably one of the few people who can understand what it’s like to be held by a man like Blaser because you’re marrying his twin.’
‘When things are going wrong in my life, if I panic or I’m scared, there’s only one place that makes me feel better.’
‘Right,’ Bri agreed, thrilled that someone else could understand it. ‘They just make you feel like no matter what it’s going to be ok. That as long as they are there and they can hold you…’ Her elation began to drain.
She didn’t notice the silence between her and Lyssa at first and she couldn’t have verbalised the visions playing through her mind if she had wanted to. All she could comprehend were the darts of ice meeting her skin as she considered the last time she’d thought like that.
‘Maybe we should call time for today,’ Lyssa said. ‘We just met this evening and you weren’t expecting a full session. Would you like to call it quits or carry on Brianna?’
Snapping out of her enveloping trance, she shook her head. ‘No, I should probably go. I have some errands to run anyway.’
Lyssa stood up and reached for her hand. Bri bounced up off the couch that stood opposite Lyssa’s angled armchair.
‘I’m really grateful that you chose to come here,’ Lyssa said.
‘I’m not sure you could say I chose it,’ Bri said, trying to keep things light. ‘Since Gary went to jail, since you and Colt got engaged… well, Blaser just raves about you and it was very generous of you to offer your services.’
‘Did you tell him that you were coming?’
‘Blaser? No,’ Bri said. ‘I wasn’t sure I was coming myself. I just… I felt awkward using the phone and I wanted to check you out for myself I guess.’
‘Well I’m glad you did,’ Lyssa said. ‘I know this is off the books, but would you like to make a proper appointment? I would really like to continue working with you… there’s no harm in making the appointment, you can always cancel.’
Although Bri was reluctant to formalise this arrangement, she didn’t find it easy to say no to people; she’d never been the most assertive person. Perhaps that flaw stemmed from her history with Blaser and Gary. If there was a situation where someone had to be told no, then one of them always stepped in for her and so it wasn’t really a skill she had ever learned.
Still, she made an official appointment believing that she could cancel it if she had to. But she really didn’t want to chicken out. Bri had ended up in session with the doctor because she’d come so late in the afternoon that Lyssa had just dismissed her last patient of the day.
The idea had been to come and get a lay of the land, check out the doctor, and make an appointment in person so that she knew what to expect when she came for real. Except as soon as Lyssa answered the large front door of her townhouse, and Bri had identified herself, the doctor had brought her inside, which was how they got talking.
Bri felt strangely liberated after saying goodbye to Lyssa and getting out onto the street. She had expected that therapy would leave her feeling exposed and used; instead she was pleased to have taken another step toward recovery.
Other than picking up something for dinner she didn’t really have any errands to run. But as part of her own personal therapy plan she bought a sandwich and went to the park to eat it. Throughout the last year, she had taken steps to teach herself to enjoy being outside again. At first she had been aware of every shadow and concealed corner. She had been jumpy and unwilling to turn her back to any open spaces.
A year after the event she was much better at being outside in the open, but she didn’t want to be complacent about that ease, so Bri was always careful about maintaining her schedule. So she ate her sandwich and watched a couple of squirrels in a tree before she started the long walk home.
Erika’s apartment, where she was staying, was more than an hour’s walk from Lyssa’s, but Bri didn’t mind the exercise. With evening encroaching, she hoped that getting home meant getting to bed; all she had to do was get there and then she could relax.
As soon as she got to her floor in the apartment building she knew that dream was gone. The apartment door was open. Creeping forward, Bri got a peek at the disaster area that was supposed to be her home. The whole place had been trashed and the open plan living space didn’t have an inch of floor on display.
Picking her way through the mess, she was standing dum
bfounded when the door flew further open and banged off the wall. Startled, she pounced back and almost fell into the chaos before she caught sight of Mr. Lieberman, the apartment landlord.
‘You’re gonna get your shit and get the hell out, today!’
‘No. No! I’m sorry, Mr. Lieberman. I’ll have it all fixed and cleaned up. I promise that—‘
‘No, no more of your promises, Brianna Wilcox! You are trouble! I want you out!’
Brianna watched the short, stocky landlord pivot and steam out of the apartment that she’d been sharing with Erika for three months. For all of the drama swirling around her at the moment, the only mistake that Bri had made herself was believing an old friend, Erika, when she had assured Brianna that she had cleaned up her act.
Erika’s boyfriend had taken off six weeks ago leaving a great big mess of trouble trying to find him; one that she and Erika had been left to deal with. Trouble, Brianna thought looking around at the trashed two bedroom apartment. Clothes were scattered everywhere, furniture was turned over, and crockery was broken. Yes, this place looked like trouble had rocked up, flashed its dashing smile, and strolled straight back into her life.
She used to court trouble, to seek it out, her brother worked on the fringes of legality so she was no stranger to cops. And Blaser… he was a bad boy straight out of every girl’s wet dream.
Bending to pick up a chair, she scanned the riot of objects scattered all over, tidying up was likely to take the rest of the night. She could get it done, but she doubted it would change Mr. Lieberman’s mind about letting her stay. Erika had taken off ten days ago to get away from her boyfriend’s trouble. Being that Erika was the only one on the lease Brianna shouldn’t even have been staying here after that.
The landlord had turned a blind eye to her staying in the first place after Bri had used her Bambi act and persuaded him that she was really in dire straits. She hated to act pathetic and she hated to ask for favours, but she hadn’t expected to stay here for long. Since Erika had left ten days ago neither Bri nor the landlord had voiced the obvious fact that she was now living there alone and illegally.
Glancing at the door, she speculated as to how long it would take Rafe and his cronies to show up now that she was most vulnerable. Rafe was the dealer looking for Erika and her boyfriend, he had a squad of men who would delight in doing this kind of work. Bri couldn’t even kid herself that she’d be safe if she did choose to stay here because whoever had done this job for Rafe had kicked the door in to gain entry without finesse. Her only choice now was to get her stuff and get out.
As much as she hated running away from responsibility, and this mess technically was her responsibility, she was the last man standing on one side of a war that she hadn’t been around to start. The abode was hardly the Ritz; Erika and her boyfriend had long ago destroyed or sold anything that was decent about the apartment. Now it struggled to call itself water tight, there had been no upkeep of the place. But the state of the apartment hadn’t bothered Brianna, she’d only come back to town on the pleadings of her brother.
Gary had told her that she could stay with him, he’d practically begged her to. But Brianna didn’t want to be sucked back into living like her brother did, pay check to pay check or dabbling in illegality. So she came to stay with Erika in the hope of maintaining her independence.
Being back home had its disadvantages and advantages, the biggest example of both had presented itself when Blaser came knocking on her door. Erika had warned off Bri’s ex when he showed up unannounced. But it didn’t matter what Erika said, there was very little that would sway Blaser Warner once he’d made up his mind about something.
Gathering up some clothes, and what she could find of her other possessions, Brianna tidied as she went along, seeking items out. The suitcase that she’d originally brought was broken, but she managed with a duffel bag she found and a large tote. Erika and her boyfriend were gone, they weren’t coming back to chase an old piece of luggage.
She was just about ready to leave but slowed in her collecting because she had no plan, nowhere to go. Her brother was the only person she’d relied on growing up. Any friends that she still had in the area would be likely, just as Erika had, to let her down and Bri didn’t want to take that risk.
But she couldn’t go to Gary, he was presently doing his own time in jail, awaiting trial because they couldn’t afford bail and no bondsman would stand up for him. Hooking the strap of the tote over her shoulder, she let her eyes drift to the window. There was only one other person in this world who loved her as much as Gary did. One person whom, from everything she’d heard, had gotten his act together.
Just like her, Blaser wasn’t a part of that world they came from anymore. He would never get her involved in anything criminal, or abandon her if things got tough. Though none of that meant that Blaser wasn’t trouble. Blaser was the kind of trouble that a girl could never tell her mother about, at least he used to be.
She could still remember hearing the words he spoke as he broke up with her in that cavernous prison space. The moment the syllables hit her ears she had gone numb, her ears had begun to ring and in truth, they were still ringing six and a half years later.
Except now she was stuck, with little money and little choice, she had to risk opening that door again. She would just have to figure out how to keep him on the other side of the threshold because if he came inside… all hell would break loose.
Chapter Two
‘Want me to lock up?’
‘No,’ Blaser said, straightening a Risqué emblazoned glass on the shelf behind the bar. ‘You get home to that gorgeous wife of yours.’
‘She’s pissed about some shit,’ Dax said, resting a fist on the other side of the bar. ‘She’ll have waited up just to give me earache when I get home.’
‘Way I hear it, the fight is sorta foreplay for you two.’
Dax’s usually clear expression became smug. ‘That’s definitely the truth. She’s a minx, everything is foreplay to her. I’m never sure if she’s going to jump me or kill me.’
‘Sounds perfect.’
‘As close as you’ll get,’ Dax said, opening his hand and pushing away from the bar. ‘See you tomorrow.’
Blaser listened to his newest security man exit through the front of the building then he went through his usual checks, making sure that everything was where it was supposed to be, and that lights were turned off, etc. Dax had shown up two weeks ago and moved in with Ivy, who was the desk girl at Blaser’s auto garage.
Dax had come in shouting the odds at first, making sure that Blaser knew Ivy was off-limits. But he had no interest in Ivy. There was no doubt that she was a gorgeous girl and maybe under other circumstances he would’ve tried to take her for a roll in the hay. But that kind of casual encounter held no interest for him.
He’d never been a womaniser and had spent most of his life with one woman. The woman he set free when he went to prison. That was the final straw. Breaking up with her, breaking her heart, was the most difficult thing that he’d ever done in his life because he was still crazy in love with her and selfishly wanted to keep her. But he’d made her cry too many times and at twenty-eight, he was supposed to be getting his act together, not losing his shit. So he’d called her into visiting and ended it. Six and a half years later, and he still thought about her every day.
Shaking off his fleeting thoughts of Brianna, he swept up his leather jacket, stuck his arms in the sleeves and went around all the exits to ensure that they were locked up.
Risqué was a strip club and a place he’d dreamt of owning since he was a kid. Brianna went along with his dream and they used to fantasise together about what it would be like to own such a place. They even went so far as to name it and talk about décor. She liked the idea of having a high-class place where men could enjoy beautiful women.
Brianna’s own experience with strip clubs had been with those of the lowest sort, so they’d always promised to stick to the rules when t
hey owned their own place and it was that decision that prompted him not to hire anyone under the age of twenty-five.
Risqué was legit and the dancers could hold their own, no one was taken advantage of or exploited here. The patrons were happy with the display of flesh and at the end of the day that was all that mattered to them.
Blaser knew that at one time Brianna had dreams of Julliard and greatness, but he hadn’t been able to deliver those dreams for her. After her parents had taken off and she started stripping, Blaser had sought out Gary, Bri’s brother and blamed him for Bri needing to go out there and sell her body to support herself. It turned out that Gary had been in the dark too and the men ended up talking and coming up with their own plan to look after her. Well, it wasn’t long after that he stole his first car, then it became habit.
He knew it was illegal and knew that his parents would be disappointed if they found out about the chop shop he ran with Gary, but back then he hadn’t cared. It was about keeping Bri safe and making sure she never had to sell any part of herself to anyone just to get by.
Prison put a stop to his criminal ways. He had broken up with Bri before he came to the conclusion that he could do better in his life. Once he did, he cut all ties with his previous associates and decided to go straight. On leaving prison, he bought Risqué with the financial help of his brothers, who backed him on the proviso that he kept his nose clean. It had taken a lot of hard work to get himself to where he was now, and he had no intention of putting all of that to waste by sliding back into what so many considered an easier life.
Buying Warner Autos happened at the same time he left prison. He got it at a discount from his cousin because he promised to manage Mattie’s apartment block which was right next door. So with two businesses of his own, and shared responsibility of managing Mattie’s apartment block, Blaser was a busy guy. Gus was Mattie’s brother and another Warner cousin, he managed the lion’s share of the work at the apartment complex and Blaser just picked up the slack.
Risk It All (Risqué #2) Page 2