Anne I know.
She gently takes his hand as if to console him.
Pierre What are we going to do?
Anne I don’t know. I’m as lost as you are, honestly.
Pierre looks desperate.
Pierre Do you think it was my fault?
Suddenly, the Doctor appears. Pierre stands up. Then Anne.
Ah … Doctor …
Doctor (shaking hands with Anne) Good afternoon. I’m Dr Ramès. I’m looking after your son.
Anne Where is Nicolas?
Doctor In his room. Don’t worry. He’s resting.
Pierre How is he?
Doctor He’s no longer in danger. You don’t need to worry.
Anne Can we see him?
Doctor He needs quiet at the moment. In the meantime, I’d like to discuss the situation with you. Sit down …
Pierre sits down, but Anne stays on her feet.
Anne What’s happening?
Doctor The cut was not very deep, and it was treated very promptly. The worst was prevented. He was lucky.
Anne You’re absolutely sure of that?
Doctor Yes. Trust me.
Anne Thank God …
Doctor All the same, we need to take some decisions.
Brief pause. The Doctor gestures to Anne, who sits down. The Doctor sits down himself.
I’ve been able to talk to your son … He’s regained consciousness … And he seems, shall we say, annoyed to have woken up here … Which is very common in this sort of case.
Pierre Has he said anything? About what caused him to do this?
Doctor You know, we’re very accustomed to these situations … And I think it would be important for Nicolas to spend a bit of time under observation.
Anne Under observation?
Pierre You mean …
Doctor I’ve just checked and there is a vacancy in our facility.
Anne But how long would he need to stay?
Doctor We’ll decide that together. All the same, what’s important is that, in this first phase, he should stay in isolation.
Pierre In isolation?
Anne What does that mean?
Doctor Obviously he won’t be completely on his own. There’ll be the whole medical team, as well as other patients. There’ll be all sorts of activities and Nicolas will be very closely supervised. But the essential thing for us is that there should be a break with the outside world. And, particularly, with the family.
Anne We won’t be able to see him? Is that what you’re …
Doctor Every time we hospitalise an adolescent, this is what I ask from the parents. Systematically. It allows everyone to take some distance … To lower the stakes … To decrease the pressure … It’s nothing against you, you must understand that. You don’t come into it.
Anne But …
Doctor Then, we’ll meet once a week, in my office, with Nicolas, for us all to assess his progress …
Pierre Will this last a long time, do you think?
Doctor Not necessarily. What I want is for him to acquire an awareness of what he’s done. He doesn’t have that at the moment. His tendency at the moment is to minimise it somewhat, which seems to me dangerous. I wouldn’t want him to try it again.
Anne I’d like to see him, Doctor.
Doctor You’ll have to come back to bring him his things, obviously … But during this first week it’d be best for you to entrust him to us. Don’t worry. We’re familiar with these kinds of situations. Sadly, they’re very common. We know what needs doing …
A male Nurse appears. He gestures to the Doctor.
Excuse me a minute.
He joins the Nurse, and they exchange a few words in a corner. Pierre and Anne remain silent. They’re in shock. Pierre takes Anne’s hand. The Doctor comes back to them.
I’m sorry, I have to go back. I suggest you go and see my assistant on the second floor. Ask for the Department of Psychiatry.
Pierre is stunned by the word.
Pierre Psychiatry?
Doctor Yes. She’s familiar with the case. She’ll give you information about what steps need taking. All right?
Pierre and Anne don’t know how to respond.
Come on … Don’t worry. He’s finally in very good hands.
The Doctor smiles and leaves. Pierre and Anne remain silent. They don’t move. Pause. Blackout.
FOURTEEN
Pierre’s flat. Sofia has packed her suitcase. She’s getting ready to leave for Italy with Sacha.
Pierre Are you ready?
Sofia Yes.
Pause.
Pierre What time is the plane?
Sofia I ordered a taxi. It’ll be here in five minutes.
Pierre I’ll help you down with the suitcase.
Sofia No, no. It’s all right.
Pause. There’s a palpable tension between them.
Pierre Listen, I’m sorry about last night … Sorry … I expect I’d had a bit too much to drink and … I was over the top. And stupid. I apologise.
Sofia I don’t understand why we have to quarrel like that.
Pierre It’s my fault. I’m sorry.
Sofia All we talk about is him. For weeks now … You’d think our lives entirely revolved around him …
Pierre I know.
Pause.
But it’s breaking my heart to know you’re going away angry with me.
Sofia Stop it, please.
Pierre What?
Sofia Stop saying I’m angry. That’s not the problem.
Pause.
Why can’t you come with us? Like we planned …
Pierre I can’t, Sofia …
Sofia Yes, you can! The doctor told you he needs to be in isolation for a week … So what difference does it make if you’re here or somewhere else?
Pierre I don’t feel like going to the seaside, knowing he’s in there. I’m sorry: I can’t.
Sofia You could come for a few days. You need a rest as well … You’re done in. It’s still possible …
Pierre I can’t. I’m sorry. I couldn’t go, when … It’s beyond me.
Pause.
Sofia When’s he coming out?
Pierre Next Monday, I imagine.
Sofia And then?
Brief pause.
Why are you refusing to let him go back to his mother’s? I mean, if that’s what he wants …
Pierre I didn’t say I was refusing. It’s just … It won’t solve the problem. And then, I don’t know … After everything that happened between us … After our row … It would be such a failure …
Sofia For him or for you?
Pause.
Pierre See, the strangest thing is, I can’t work out what I’m feeling any more. Sometimes it’s rage and then, a moment later, it’s pain. Sometimes I’m angry with him and sometimes with myself …
Sofia Sounds normal.
Pierre I hope I can be a better father to Sacha.
Sofia But you’re a very good father, Pierre. Stop all this!
Pierre I’m not sure any more … What makes me sad is to have to play a part I loathe with everything in me.
Sofia questions him with a look.
For example, these last weeks I keep catching myself saying things … Exactly the same things my father used to say to me when I was young … things which made me genuinely loathe him … And now it’s my turn. Makes me think I’ve finished up being just like him.
Sofia What kind of things?
Pierre ‘What are you going to do with your life?’ or ‘When I was your age, I did this or I did that …’ or ‘What are we going to do with you?’ It disgusts me … I’m disappointed … in him … but in myself as well … Especially in myself. I admit it.
Pause.
Sofia We have to go.
Pierre Before you do, tell me you forgive me for yesterday. I can’t let you go like this.
Sofia I’d really like us to stop quarrelling like that.
Pierre Me too.
Sofia These
last weeks have been really …
Pierre I know.
Sofia No, you don’t know. You aren’t here. You’re working all day, but I’m here, on my own and …
Pierre You’re not on your own.
Sofia Yes, I’m on my own! And I’m tired! And there’s Sacha as well. Your other son. And he needs you too!
Pierre Sofia, please … Don’t let’s start again.
Brief pause.
Sofia (more gently) All right. I’ll call you when we get there, OK?
Pierre OK.
He goes and picks up the baby from the pushchair and hugs him very tightly in his arms.
Come on, little man … Give me a cuddle … As I’m not going to see you for a week. And I’m going to miss you … Look after Mummy, will you? And your godmother as well … And you’re going to discover the sea … Mm? You’ll see how beautiful it is. You’ll see how big it is … I’m really sorry I’m not going to be with you. But I have to stay in Paris. Do you understand? You’ll tell me all about it, all right? Will you tell me about it, little man?
He hugs him very tight. For some time. Sofia looks at him, fond and melancholy. Blackout.
FIFTEEN
A few days later. The hospital. Anne and Pierre are on their feet. The Nurse stands in front of them.
Nurse Please sit down.
Anne How is he?
Nurse Dr Ramès will see you in a minute. First, I’m going to go and find Nicolas, who’s close by; he wanted to talk to you before the meeting.
Pierre Fine.
Nurse I’ll be right back. And then I’ll go and let the doctor know you’ve arrived.
He goes out. Pierre and Anne sit down.
Pierre He doesn’t seem very bright, that nurse.
Anne Why do you say that?
Pierre I don’t trust them at all.
The door opens and Nicolas appears. He’s in hospital clothes. He throws himself into his mother’s arms and then his father’s.
Nicolas Mum!
Anne Darling!
Nicolas I’ve missed you so much …
Anne We’ve missed you. How are you?
Nicolas It seems as if I haven’t seen you for months …
Pierre We’re here now. We’re here …
Nurse Nicolas, I’m going to leave you for five minutes, as you asked. To have your reunion … And while that’s happening, I’m going to look for the doctor. All right?
Nicolas Yes.
Nurse I’ll be right back.
The Nurse leaves.
Pierre How are you?
Nicolas It’s horrible, I swear it is. You have to get me out of here …
Pierre Don’t worry.
Nicolas You absolutely have to get me out of here.
Promise me?
Anne Has it gone badly?
Nicolas It was dreadful, Mum. The worst week of my life. Everyone here is sick. Anorexics, psychopaths … and … They’re all crazy … They all talk about dying the whole time … I’m too sensitive for a place like this. Every night, I’ve been afraid … There’s no lock on my door and there’s this man who keeps passing to and fro in front of my room and I’m convinced he’s going to come back while I’m asleep … There’s another one who cries all night. All night, Mum, he doesn’t stop for a single minute. I swear to you, I have to get out. You can’t leave me here. It’s hell. You can’t leave me in hell.
Pierre Don’t worry. That’s what we’re here for, to discuss it with the doctor.
Nicolas He’s an idiot. He doesn’t understand anything. He stuffs me full of pills, but he doesn’t understand the first thing about what’s going on in my head. He’s already explained to me what he’s going to tell you … He thinks I’m ill. He told me I was going to have to stay here for weeks and weeks … But I’m telling you, I can’t, I won’t be able to stand it … I’ll crack up … You know me … You know what I’m like … I’m not saying these things just like that. I feel much worse here than I do at home … All these people, I’m finding it too disturbing. I only have one dream, to get back to normal life. And to see you. To be with you. I need you. You have to take me back home. Please, Dad, please, Mum. I’m begging you.
Pierre is unsettled by Nicolas’s nervous state.
Pierre Calm down, son. We’ll do what’s best. We’ll talk to the doctor.
Anne Don’t worry, Nicolas. We’re here. We’re with you.
Nicolas smiles.
Nicolas I’m so happy to see you. I’ve missed you, you have no idea how much …
Anne We’ve missed you as well.
The Doctor knocks on the door and comes in, followed by the Nurse.
Doctor Hello, good afternoon …
Anne Good afternoon, Doctor …
They shake hands.
Doctor Right … I suggest you sit down. Nicolas, you can sit over here. Vincent, who’s a nurse, will stay with us during our conversation.
Pause. The Doctor settles down. Nicolas starts biting his nails.
Good. I expect Nicolas has communicated to you that he wishes to leave the hospital.
Pierre Yes.
Doctor He’s talked to me about it as well. I’ve taken it on board that, for him, this has been a testing week.
Pierre Yes, so it seems.
Doctor Which is often the case with the first week.
Nicolas I don’t want to stay here.
Doctor I can understand that you might want to go home. But from a medical point of view, I can’t allow it.
Nicolas (to his parents) You see.
Pierre Why?
Doctor Nicolas is going through a period of acute depression. He talks a good deal about his suicidal urges. (To Nicolas.) You’ve spoken to me about it several times, remember, in the course of our conversations?
Nicolas doesn’t answer.
It’s my opinion he’d be potentially at risk outside this institution.
Nicolas That’s not true. I’m better. All that counts for me is to come back home. There won’t be a problem. I promise.
Doctor Nicolas … Only two days ago, when I asked you what you’d do if we let you out today, do you remember your answer?
Nicolas I was trying to provoke you.
Doctor I don’t think so.
Nicolas (to his father) You see … He knows better than I do what I’m feeling.
Pierre Calm down, Nicolas.
Nicolas I am calm. It’s this dimwit who doesn’t understand anything.
Anne Nicolas, please.
Brief pause.
Pierre What do you suggest?
Doctor Even if this upsets Nicolas, it seems to me essential to have more time at our disposal. Suicidal impulses are sometimes difficult to identify, even for the subject himself, but we can’t ignore them. They can have serious consequences, and in this kind of situation, recidivism is very common. Nicolas also suffers from a certain disconnect from reality, which causes very significant anxiety issues for him. All that can be treated. When things have been stabilised, and we find a suitable treatment, then we can think about letting him go.
Pierre How much time will that take?
Doctor Difficult to say. Certainly several weeks …
Nicolas (to his mother) Mum …
Doctor You’re safe here, Nicolas. We’re looking after you. There’s a whole team of doctors, nurses and teachers. And there are all our daily activities and …
Nicolas You think you’re going to cure me with a pottery class?
Doctor Yes, that’s part of the process.
Nicolas It’s a bunch of crap.
He gets up.
Pierre Nicolas! Calm down, please.
Pause. Nicolas sits down again.
Do you understand what the doctor’s saying? It’s for your own good if …
Nicolas (interrupting him) For my own good? How do you think I’m going to get better if I’m surrounded by people who are much sicker than I am? I’ve thought about it, you know … I … All those hours of doing nothing … I’
ve been thinking about everything that’s been going on … About my life … And I’m not the same any more … Trust me … I’ve grown up all of a sudden. I’ve understood about things … Things I won’t do any more …
Pierre looks at the Doctor, hoping that these assertions might have modified his position.
What I’ve understood is that I don’t want to finish up in a place like this. It’s been like an electric shock. And now, I feel I can return to normal life. I feel I can go back to school … I feel it. You have to trust me. It’s as if I’m finally seeing the end of the tunnel. But you have to take me out of here. If you don’t, I’m going under. I’m serious. I can’t take it … Dad, don’t abandon me … You understand me … You’ve always understood me … Whereas they don’t understand me … (Imploringly.) Dad … I’m begging you …
Pierre (to the Doctor) What would be the procedure for taking him out?
Doctor Nicolas is a minor, he’s your responsibility. So it’s up to you to make the decision. And in fact you could decide to take him out today. But in that case, I’d have to ask you to sign discharge papers …
Anne Discharge papers?
Doctor Discharge papers, yes. Which will specify that you’ve taken this decision against medical advice. If something were to happen in the next few days, you’d be held responsible, not the hospital.
Nicolas But nothing’s going to happen …
Pause.
Doctor I know it’s a difficult decision. Especially in front of your son … But you must listen to what I’m telling you. This is not a casual opinion. Your son is in no state to leave here. You can sign these discharge papers and you’ll be home in an hour … But let me tell you, as a doctor, you’ll be taking a genuine risk.
Nicolas is getting anxious, as he senses Pierre changing sides.
Nicolas What risk?
The Son Page 6