Meanwhile my comrades had charged round the farm and we thrust forward again along the communication trench. The Russians promptly sought out their old positions and we reoccupied ours. The breach had been cleared. The Russians had suffered heavy casualties. We counted at least eighty dead. Apart from equipment, we captured one heavy, two light and several sub-machine guns. I took one of the latter. We too had suffered casualties; several dead, including Sepp Wieser, and several wounded. Second Lieutenant Gold, who had only just received his commission a few hours before, had been wounded in the charge. He had gone on ahead alone and screamed terribly when he was hit in the lower abdomen.
The Russians remained quiet for the rest of the day. We were relieved during the night. Shortly beforehand Sergeant Behrensen was killed by a shot to the head. The company was now only 48 strong, even though we had received several replacements.
The unit that replaced us was well equipped, combat experienced and rested. In contrast we had lost some of our weapons, were fought out, exhausted and filthy. In any case the relief was absolutely necessary and it was a stroke of luck to be relieved the day before the Russians’ main offensive began.
The new troops arrived at the front line early on the morning of 15 April. We gave them a quick briefing and then marched back, happy to be out of that dangerous corner and not envying our reliefs their task, but we did not know that the Russians would be rolling over them 24 hours later. So we came to the rear positions that ran about three kilometres behind the front line.
Behind us lay the village of Altfriedland, in which there were still many civilians, most of them farmers. After several strenuous and wearying weeks, we were hoping to be able to have a proper break. First we saw to our weapons, then we could take care of ourselves. Once we had had a good wash we felt as fresh as new.
We were occupying a position that ran along in front of a manor farm and so did not have to crouch down in the trenches all the time, but lived in the buildings and took to the trenches only in an alert. At last we had time to write home. Many of the comrades’ homes were in areas already occupied by the Russians or Americans, and news was reaching us only very sparingly at the front. I had read in the Armed Services Report that there was some heavy fighting in front of Bremen, but hoped that my letters would get through to my parents. Few of my parents’ letters had reached me recently, and a lot of mail was not reaching its destination because of the many air attacks.
During the afternoon we worked on our position and at night we could sleep for the first time in weeks. However, one man from each platoon had to stand guard for half an hour at a time. The duties were given out and I got from 0330 to 0400 hours. I went to bed early in the straw that we had put down in the cellar and slept as if on a feather bed until it was time for my guard duty. This was the last time that I would have a whole night’s sleep for weeks.
THE RUSSIAN OFFENSIVE BEGINS
I got up at 0330 hours, still half asleep, and took post, but did not have to be as alert as in the front line. It was very misty. I made the rounds of our quarters, and at ten to four woke up my relief and was happy that I could now sleep into the morning.
As I was going back down into the cellar, I heard the well-known sound; ‘Flup, flup’ coming from Ivan. He was firing his mortars. I took this to be the morning concert and carried on down. The first Russian salvos fell on the front line, but the hits started coming closer until they started landing in our vicinity. But there was more to it than that, more than the usual morning concert. Our building received several direct hits. Ivan was laying a violent bombardment down on us. Hit after hit followed the discharges and the din that came from their anti-aircraft and anti-tank guns and heavy artillery too could be heard.[12] Then the runner came from the company command post: ‘Alert! Take post immediately!’
I reached the trenches, jumping from shellhole to shellhole under the heaviest fire. The earth was being ploughed up systematically, one crater overlapping the next. The trenches were already suffering and beginning to cave in. One of the comrades from my section was wounded with a splinter in his backside.
On the 14th, two days previously, I had thought it was the real bombardment, but what the Russians were giving us now was far, far worse. I did not think that anyone could survive. Every bit of earth was being churned over. I jumped in the holes where there had already been an explosion, as every soldier knows that no two shells land on the same spot. The minutes stretched into hours. At last after three hours the firing eased up and moved on behind us, but we knew that the second part was on its way. Now we could shoot back again, being no longer exposed to the shelling.
Men were running back from the front line, in a state of shock and without their weapons. Panting and trembling, they called out to us: ‘Ivan is coming!’
Only a few had survived the shelling in the front line and been able to flee from the Russians, who were following close on their heels. One could not see them as it was so misty that you could hardly see ten metres, but you could hear them. The ‘Urrahs!’ were getting louder. I had handed in my machine gun for repair the day before because of the constant jamming, so Staff Sergeant Buchal sent me back to the company command post to get it. I found it, although the place was deserted, but when I came out again I could hear Russian voices in the immediate vicinity, and could not go back. The Russians had already reached our trenches. There was only one way out and that was to the rear. I ran westwards as fast as I could, but I had my heavy machine gun to carry. Apart from this, I had a box of ammunition, the Russian sub-machine gun, my pistol, hand grenades and all my equipment on me. Clearly I could not run very fast. The Russian voices were getting closer and soon they would be catching me up. I had to discard something. First went the Russian sub-machine gun, then the hand grenades went into the dirt, then the ammunition box, and finally I wanted to throw the machine gun away.
Suddenly I heard called from behind: ‘Stoi! Ruchi verch!’ The machine gun flew away in a high curve. I tugged at my ammunition pouches, but could not get them off. As I turned around I could see the outline of my pursuer, who already had his rifle up to his cheek. Then he lowered it again. ‘Damn it, Tillery!’ he said, ‘Bring the machine gun with you!’ It was no Russian, but a comrade from my platoon, Hans Kaldekowitz, who had a head wound. When the Russians arrived, they had not been able to get away in time and were overrun. Then they had mixed in with the advancing Russians and gradually got ahead. Later a large part of the company was to meet up again.
The next line was the rear defensive line, which ran between Sietzing and Klein-Neuendorf behind a four metre-wide ditch with 400 metres of open field in front of it, a very good defensive position.
Meanwhile the Russians had penetrated Klein-Neuendorf with their tanks. At the last minute some civilians escaped laden down with bundles of their possessions. The sun dispersed the mist at about 1000 hours and we could see the tanks. The anti-aircraft battery behind us then opened up and shot several of them. Here I met up again with several of my company, who had taken up position on the road to Klein-Neuendorf. It remained quiet in our area until about noon, although the sunshine had brought out the Russian ground-attack aircraft and fighters. The Russians had broken though in the neighbouring sector and we could see their tanks and trucks about two kilometres to the north. They were overcoming all resistance with the mass of their tanks and the following infantry were occupying the ground.
For a short while we had to occupy a sector further south. I went past a dugout that opened toward the Russians in which a soldier was sitting. I had gone past about 50 metres when it received a direct hit from an anti-tank gun. I went back to help the soldier, but he had vanished, having simply been blown to pieces.
As we were in danger of being surrounded, we had to move back again during the course of the afternoon. We could see how far the Russians had progressed from the columns of smoke rising in the sky wherever they were. In Wuschewier, to where we withdrew, we stopped for half a day. Then during
the night of the 16th/17th we retreated again without getting a moment’s sleep. Everywhere on the streets one could read the message: ‘Berlin remains German!’
During the evening we prepared a new position but it was hardly finished when we had to withdraw again. We could only withdraw with difficulty, for the Russians had spotted our retreat and were trying to stop us with artillery fire.
The following morning, the 18th, we occupied positions on the north-eastern edge of Neu Trebbin, where our regiment gathered. Only 34 assembled, all the rest being either dead, wounded, captured or missing. Our company was still comparatively strong with about ten men remaining.
We deployed ourselves in front of the village. The Russians soon arrived and made an attack, coming to within a few metres of our positions and we even captured one. Suddenly the four self-propelled guns that had been supporting us vanished and now the Russians started coming at us with tanks. As we could hardly defend Neu Trebbin with less than forty men, we withdrew. We already had two men killed and several wounded in the village.
We withdrew about three kilometres over open fields until we came to a canal about ten metres across that ran between Neu Trebbin and Gottesgabe, and here we deployed once more. The self-propelled guns from Neu Trebbin reappeared in our support but, when the Russians attacked with tanks in big numbers, they had to be blown up as they were unable to cross the canal.
We pulled back to another ditch, where we were stomach deep in cold water, as otherwise the Russians would have seen us. My camouflage suit was soaked through and running with water, and I still had to carry my machine gun and box of ammunition, so I took off my padded trousers and threw them away; after all, it was spring. I could hardly get out of there. With every step my feet sank deep in the mud.
The Russians soon spotted us and brought the ditch under mortar fire. One bomb landed in the ditch and killed three men, including Corporal Kalteis. Then we had to cross an open field. The Russians were firing even when individuals crossed, using mortars – and accurately. At the end of the ditch lay a man wounded in the leg, who asked me to help him across. Although mortar bombs landed close, we managed to get across unscathed.
Then we came up against the military police and everyone who had a weapon had to go back into the line, but staff clerks and supply personnel were allowed to go, a factor that did little to raise our fighting morale.
I had become separated from my unit again. Although I knew that they were close by, the military police refused to let me find it. I was given a confused, thrown-together section to deploy along a line of trees in front of Gottesgabe. We had communication to the rear by means of a runner. When I sent a runner back with a message, he failed to reappear. I sent another runner back with the same result, so I went back myself to find out what was happening. I did not find a soul. They had all gone back without telling us.
A unit of 15 and 16 year-olds of the Hitler Youth had made an attack from Gottesgabe and been driven back with heavy casualties. I was deployed with my section along the eastern edge of the village. During the night the Russians thrust their way into the village with tanks and we had to withdraw.
We deployed again about 200 metres west of Gottesgabe. Suddenly about forty men came toward us. We opened fire, thinking they must be Russians, and by the time we discovered they were Germans, two of them were already dead.
At dawn on the 19th we occupied a position on the heights on the edge of the Oderbruch. It was a good position and we could see far over the valley. As it became light, we could see the Russians with masses of tanks and thousands of soldiers in and around Gottesgabe, and we were only a hundred strong. Slowly the tanks and the soldiers started moving. When they came to about 200 metres from us, we opened fire from the heights.
The Russians immediately started digging in while their tanks moved up. Then the tanks fired on us, later also mortars and anti-tank guns. When the fire became stronger, we withdrew, for the Russians had already bypassed us on either flank.
During the withdrawal I became separated again from the rest of my regiment, but then met up with five other men from my company. Properly formed units no longer existed, for they had either been split up or wiped out. Many had fallen. We six reported to the commander of a light anti-aircraft battery that had been deployed on the eastern edge of Ihlow. We deployed ourselves about 100 metres forward of the battery in a ditch that ran past a grocery. The village had been evacuated of its population only a few hours before. For once we could eat well; everything we longed for we found here. Abandoned cattle were roaming about everywhere.
When the first Russian tanks appeared the 20 cm anti-aircraft guns opened up and shot up several of them. As the Russians closed in on the village, we moved to the western edge, where there was a large manor farm, behind whose enclosing wall we took cover from the heavy shelling. We were also constantly fired at by low flying aircraft, and soon the Russians came in sight. Karl Danzer was severely wounded by a mortar bomb that exploded close to us, getting a splinter in his stomach. Once the Russians had crossed the road leading to Strausberg, cutting our line of retreat, the guns were blown up. Once more we were surrounded as we had been the day before, and would be again in the days to come.
That evening we withdrew under cover of darkness through a wood. Altogether we were about 60 men. After we had marched about four kilometres, we came to a road running east-west, along which trucks were driving westwards. We infantry marched with the battery commander, a lieutenant, at the head of the battery. The battery commander thought that this was a retreat route, but I noticed that nearly all the trucks had sloping radiators, and we did not have any like that. I reported my misgivings, but he told me off, saying that he was the commander and knew best. He had taken over the battery only the day before, after the previous commander had been killed. However, when trucks went past packed with singing soldiers, it was clear enough to me that they were Russian. I told my regimental comrades – there were now six of us – and we slipped back to the rear of the battery. To the left and right of us were ever thicker pine woods. Suddenly came some shouting and then the voice of the battery commander: ‘Don’t shoot!’
We could hear Russians shouting from in front and like lightning we vanished into the woods. The battery was captured virtually intact and now I realised that the commander was German but fighting on the Russian side and presumably a member of the National Committee for a Free Germany.[13]
Two men from the battery had come with us, so now we were eight. We forced our way through the dark woods toward the southwest. After we had been going for about three hours we came to the the village of Gross Wilkendorf, near Strausberg. We did not know if it was occupied by the Russians, so we crept cautiously up to it through an orchard, but could hear no voices. Then we heard the sound of an engine and someone calling out, so we knew that there were Germans here. As we entered the village, we saw a truck moving out with a heavy gun in tow. We appeared to be the only living beings in the village. We went into a house and had something to eat. We found enough food, for the inhabitants had moved out only a few hours before.
We moved on again. There was an ambulance at the other end of the village, but it suddenly drove off as we came up to it. There had been a field hospital in the school here that had been cleared. However, Karl Meinhardt was able to swing himself aboard as it set off. I ran along behind, but the vehicle was increasing speed. Karl stretched out his hand to me and I was able to grasp his fingers. He pulled me in and for a short while we were safe, although separated from the others. We were dropped off just short of Strausberg.
We then looked for a house a bit off the road where we could sleep for a few hours, but were soon disturbed by the sounds of tank gunfire, so again there was no sleep, and we had been almost a week without it. We debated whether to report to an infantry unit or to do as most troops were doing and simply make our way back. We decided on the latter and to try and get a day to relax and sleep in at long last. We had not washed or shaved for d
ays, and looked more like vagabonds than soldiers. Our uniforms were encrusted with mud, and my hair had not been cut for weeks. The experiences of the last few days were etched in our faces. We had become pale and hollow-cheeked with dark circles under our eyes. When I happened to see my face in a mirror, I was shocked by my appearance. I certainly did not look like a 19 year-old.
We had only been going a few minutes when we were rounded up. A unit of 15- and 16-year-old Hitler Youths had deployed here, even though not all were armed. All soldiers going past were being rounded up by them and taken into their ranks. There were hardly any machine guns, but one thing you had to give them was their spirit, which was something seldom seen. They simply could not wait for the Russians to come. They knocked out several Russian tanks at ranges of four or five metres, and when the Russians realised that the resistance here was particularly strong, they brought up more tanks as reinforcements. Although the youngsters suffered severe losses, we only withdrew when the Russians came at us from three sides.
We then occupied a village that lay in a valley.[14] But here too we soon had to move, as we were too weak. We then occupied the high ground around the village, although some of the youngsters remained behind armed only with Panzerfausts[15] to knock out the Russian tanks. Whenever they succeeded they would return with happy faces to pick up fresh Panzerfausts. Nearly all were dressed in brown shirts, short pants and a much too large helmet. But as many tanks as they destroyed, the more took their place. There were at least ten Russians to every German soldier. As soon as the tanks had taken over the village, they turned their guns on us and inflicted more heavy casualties. Meanwhile the Russian infantry had caught up.
Suddenly we heard ‘Urrah!’ cries to our rear, so once more we found ourselves in a trap. We withdrew, hardly 30 of us, and somehow we met up with German soldiers again. The Russians had advanced a considerable distance to the north of us and we could hear heavy firing from there, but to the south it was quiet, so we headed in that direction.
With Our Backs to Berlin Page 6