by Sarah Morgan
‘I see.’ The girl’s expression said, No wonder, and Millie wished she didn’t mind so much. She knew she was an unlikely choice. Why did it still hurt so much to see the surprise in people’s eyes? Why did she have to be so sensitive? Annoyed with herself for caring, she wished she were more like Leandro, who was always coolly indifferent to the opinions of everyone around him. Or failing that, she would have chosen to be more like Becca, who had been born assuming that the whole world adored her.
Would she have been more confident if she hadn’t had Becca as an older sister? Or if she’d been born with Becca’s blonde, perfect looks? Becca had appeared on the covers of all the high-class glossy magazines—her trademark slanting blue eyes and flirtatious expression guaranteeing the publication flew off the shelves.
‘So…’ The nanny looked at her curiously. ‘Are the two of you back together, then?’
Were they?
The question was cheeky, but Millie had been asking herself the same thing all night. Instead of snatching some much-needed sleep, she’d locked herself in one of Leandro’s many spare guest suites and lain on the bed, wondering whether she had the courage to face what was ahead of her if she agreed to his suggestion.
He’d reject her again, of course. Once he knew…
If she’d disappointed him then, how much more disappointed was he going to be this time?
But if she refused, she’d lose access to her sister’s child. Her nephew.
As confused as ever, Millie carefully removed the teat from the baby’s mouth. His stomach pleasantly full, he blinked his eyes and focused on her. And then he smiled. A lopsided, not very confident smile, but a smile nevertheless, and the nanny gave a short laugh.
‘He’s never done that before. He’s never smiled at anyone. Can I have a cuddle?’ She scooped the baby from Millie’s arms and the baby’s eyes flew wide and then his face crumpled. ‘Oh, gosh, forget it.’ Pulling an exasperated face, the nanny lowered the baby back into Millie’s arms.
Costas immediately snuggled close and fell asleep.
The nanny rolled her eyes. ‘Well, now you’re stuck,’ she said dryly. ‘If you move, he’ll wake up.’
‘I don’t need to move. I’ll just stay here with him.’
‘You’re just going to sit holding him? That will get him into bad habits.’
‘Since when is enjoying a cuddle a bad habit?’
‘When it stops him wanting to sleep in his cot. You should put him in there and let him cry,’ the nanny advised firmly. ‘Let him know who’s boss. It’s five o’clock in the morning. Don’t you want to go back to bed?’
To do what? Lie awake, thinking? Going over and over everything in her mind? She could do that here, cuddling the cause of her dilemma. ‘I’m fine here.’
And she thought she was fine until the door opened and Leandro strode into the room.
‘Oh!’ The nanny flushed scarlet and gave an embarrassed laugh, the way women often did when they laid eyes on Leandro Demetrios. Then she tweaked her uniform and smoothed her hair. Millie didn’t blame her. Women did that too, didn’t they? She’d tweaked her uniform and smoothed her hair every minute of every day they’d been together. The only difference being that her ‘uniform’ had been the designer clothes he’d bought her. Not that any of them had helped. The truth was that no amount of straightening and smoothing had transformed her into something that had looked good alongside his extraordinary looks.
Last night he’d been very much the dominant husband but this morning he was all billionaire tycoon. Smooth, sleek, expensive and indecently handsome. Everything about him shrieked of success in a realm above the reach of ordinary mortals, and Millie took one glance at the elegant dark grey suit and knew that he was off on one of his business trips.
‘I need to talk to you before I leave for my meeting.’ He turned and delivered a pointed glance at the nanny, who took the hint and melted away, closing the door behind her.
Millie was willing to bet she was standing outside it with her ear pressed to the wood. ‘She has to go.’
In the process of looking at the baby, Leandro frowned. ‘Go where?’
‘Just go. The nanny. I don’t want her looking after the baby.’
Millie curved the baby against her and fiddled with the blanket that covered him. ‘She’s a gossip and her only interest in Costas is that his mother is dead and his father is a billionaire.’
‘Whoever I appoint can’t fail to be aware of the rumours surrounding this baby.’
‘I agree, but she showed no warmth or care towards him. And she doesn’t even like babies—she said she prefers them older. And even then she just sticks them in front of the television.’
‘Fine.’ He glanced at his watch. ‘You want me to fire her, I’ll fire her.’
‘No. I’ll do it,’ Millie said firmly, and he lifted his eyebrows.
‘You?’
‘Yes.’
Leandro gave a disbelieving laugh. ‘I’m seeing a totally different side to you today. I wouldn’t have thought you were capable of firing someone.’
‘It depends on the provocation. I’m thinking of Costas and what he needs. He doesn’t need someone who is going to think about his parentage all the time. He needs someone who likes him.’ She scanned Leandro’s immaculate appearance. ‘It’s five in the morning. I can’t believe you have a meeting at this hour.’
‘I have a breakfast meeting at my offices in Paris. My pilot is waiting.’
‘Of course he is.’ Millie gave a weary smile. Other people queued for a bus. Leandro had a pilot waiting for his instructions. It was a reminder of how different their lives were. His house contained a pool, a spa, a media room and an underground garage complete with car lift, and everything was automated.
Millie thought of the tiny flat she’d been renting since she’d walked out a year earlier. If she wanted light, she had to press a switch, and even then it didn’t always work because the electrics were so dodgy.
Leandro was frowning impatiently. ‘Why was the baby crying?’
‘I don’t know. He hasn’t had a good night. And neither of the nannies you appointed could get him to take the bottle. And having met one of them, I’m not surprised.’
‘They have impressive references.’
‘From whom?’ Millie put the empty bottle down. ‘Not the babies they looked after, I’m sure.’
His eyes narrowed. ‘Delivering smart remarks seems to have become a new hobby of yours.’
Realising that for once she hadn’t felt too intimidated to say what she thought, Millie gave a little smile. ‘It wasn’t a smart remark. It was the truth. I’m simply pointing out that what pleases a mother or an agency might not please a baby. This nursery is immaculate—everything in order—but they obviously haven’t done anything to build a relationship with Costas.’ She curved her nephew closer, lowering her voice. ‘He was very upset. But he’s settled down now. I think he was hungry.’
‘The nannies weren’t capable of giving him a bottle?’
‘He wouldn’t take it from them.’
‘He seems to be taking it from you.’
‘Perhaps he knows I’m on his side.’
‘Perhaps.’ He gave her a curious look, watching her with the baby, and she looked at him questioningly.
‘Why are you staring? Do you want to hold him or something?’
‘Not at the moment.’
‘Of course. Sorry.’ Millie flushed. ‘I’m sure your suit cost a fortune. Baby sick on designer menswear isn’t a good look.’
Leandro strolled over to her. ‘I have more important things to worry about than the state of my suit. I do, however, care about disturbing an otherwise contented baby when I want a conversation. He’s clearly comfortable with you at the moment and I’m wise enough to leave him where he is. If I take him, he’ll protest, and neither of us will be able to talk.’
As if to signify his agreement, Costas nestled close to her, practised his smile again and then hi
s eyes drifted shut. Millie felt a warm feeling pass through her and a fierce stab of protectiveness.
‘There’s nothing to talk about. You’re not the right man to look after a baby. You spent the first thirty-two years of your life avoiding babies. He needs someone who is going to forget the questions about his parentage and just love him.’
‘And that’s you?’ Leandro studied her for a moment, incredulity lighting his dark eyes. ‘Unless I’m misreading your extraordinarily expressive face, you still believe this baby to be the child of your husband and his lover.’
‘That isn’t relevant.’
‘Most people would consider it relevant, Millie.’ With a sardonic lift of his eyebrow, he studied her and then shrugged. ‘Make whatever decisions you like about hiring and firing,’ he said smoothly. ‘Appoint whoever you want, but I do want him to have a nanny. You can care for him if you’re willing to do that, but not at the expense of our relationship.’
Millie licked her lips. ‘We still have to talk about that part.’
‘Then talk. You had plenty to say for yourself a moment ago so don’t expect me to believe you’re suddenly short of opinions.’ Leandro glanced at the Rolex on his wrist. ‘Are you staying or going?’
It was her turn to look incredulous. ‘How can you be so emotionally detached about the whole thing? This is our marriage you’re talking about, not a corporate takeover. But I get the feeling I’m just another task on your ridiculously long “action” list! “Find out if Millie is staying or going.”’ She mimicked his voice. “‘Tick that box.’ ”
He gave a faint smile. ‘You’ve changed.’
‘Well, I’m sorry, but—’
‘Don’t apologise,’ he drawled. ‘I like it. If you’re going to speak your mind, I might have a chance of knowing what’s going on inside it. Why didn’t you ever do this before?’ ‘Because you’re scary.’
Leandro sucked in a breath and looked at her in genuine amazement. ‘Scary? What do you mean, scary? I have never threatened you in any way.’
‘It’s not what you say or what you do, it’s just who you are—’ She broke off. ‘I don’t know. It isn’t easy to describe. But next time you’re being really scary I’ll point it out.’
‘Thank you.’ The irony in his tone wasn’t lost on her and she looked up at him, wishing he wasn’t so insanely goodlooking. Every time she looked at him she lost the thread of the conversation. It made it worse that she knew exactly what was underneath that sleek designer suit.
‘All right. Let’s get this over with. You want to know my decision, but it isn’t that easy.’ She glanced down at Costas, now sleeping quietly in her arms. ‘I need some time to think about it.’
He leaned against the wall, tall handsome and breathtakingly confident. ‘I’ve given you time.’
‘I want more time.’
‘You’re my wife. What is there to think about?’
Millie adjusted the blanket. ‘Whether or not it can work.’
‘If you come back to this marriage expecting us to fall at the first fence, we’ll fall.’
Millie thought about what he didn’t know. ‘Things have changed, Leandro.’
‘Good. They needed to change.’ He studied her thoughtfully, his gaze sharp. ‘Did you find me scary in bed?’
‘Sorry?’ Her face burned but he refused to let her look away. ‘You said you found me scary,’ he said quietly, ‘and I’m asking you if I scared you in bed. You weren’t experienced, were you? And things grew pretty intense between us, pretty quickly. Was that part of the problem?’
Embarrassed by the images his words created, Millie looked down at the baby. ‘We shouldn’t be talking about this in front of him!’
‘He’s three months old,’ Leandro said dryly. ‘I don’t feel the need to censor my conversation just yet. Answer my question. Did I scare you?’
‘No.’ What was it about him that made her body react like this? Her nipples were hard, pressing against her lace bra as if inviting his attention. ‘You didn’t scare me.’
‘But you were shocked.’
Millie wished there was a drink nearby. Her mouth was suddenly as dry as the desert in a drought. ‘I was a bit self-conscious.’
‘Why?’
Because she hadn’t been able to throw off the feeling that he must be comparing her to the beautiful women he usually dated. ‘I don’t know—you were just very bold and confident, I suppose. You didn’t care if it was the middle of the day. And there was that time in your office—’
‘Sex isn’t restricted to the bedroom at night time.’
‘I know—but in the dark I could have been anyone.’
‘Which is why I like daylight.’ Leandro let out a long breath, his exasperation obvious. ‘This isn’t good enough for me, Millie. You’re saying that you’ll think about it, but you obviously don’t believe it’s going to last. That doesn’t work for me. I want your total commitment to making our marriage work.’ His eyes were hard and she gave a sigh.
‘All right, you told me to tell you when you were doing it and you’re doing it now,’ she croaked. ‘You’re being scary.’
He muttered something in Greek under his breath. ‘Are you sure “scary” isn’t just a word you apply to a situation that isn’t to your liking?’
‘No. It’s a word I apply to you. It’s what you are when something doesn’t meet with your approval. You’re so used to getting your own way, you don’t know how to compromise.’
Leandro looked startled. ‘I am perfectly able to compromise.’
‘What if you’re the one who wants a divorce?’
‘We weren’t talking about divorce,’ Leandro said silkily, ‘we were talking about marriage.’
Millie stared down at the baby, finding the thought of marriage to Leandro quite impossibly daunting. Marriage meant bed and bed meant he’d find out…
How would he handle it? Would he turn away with revulsion? Or would he feel sorry for her and try and pretend he didn’t care? Could men pretend? No, it was a physical thing—there would be no pretending.
‘There will be no divorce,’ he said firmly. ‘Neither will there be any more turning your back on me. Or piling up resentment in your head and not telling me why you’re glaring at me. This time, if something isn’t working for you, I want to know why.’ He was hard and uncompromising and she felt her heart lurch because she knew that he was going to be the one who stumbled this time.
And perhaps she wasn’t being fair to him, not telling him the truth about what had happened since they’d last met.
But she just couldn’t. Not yet.
He’d find out soon enough. And his reaction would decide the future of their marriage. And Costas’s future.
Millie stared down at the baby, wishing she was young enough to have someone make her decisions for her. ‘I’ll think about it today.’
‘I want my wife back, Millie. In every sense of the word.’ His gaze was hard and direct. ‘No more headaches, no more “too tired”.’
‘What if I am too tired?’
‘I’ll wake you up.’ Leandro’s eyes gleamed dark with sexual intent. ‘I was very patient and gentle with you last time because I knew how inexperienced you were and I didn’t want to rush you. It was a mistake. A woman is never too tired for good sex. There was something else going on and I should have pushed you to tell me what it was.’
Millie’s stomach cramped and the rush of heat in her pelvis shocked her. ‘What are you saying? That this time you’re not going to be patient or gentle?’
‘That’s right,’ he said silkily, ‘I’m not. This time we’re going to have an adult sexual relationship. I look forward to introducing you to the pleasures of truly uninhibited sex. In full daylight.’
Her face turned scarlet. ‘You’re trying to shock me.’
‘No. But neither am I trying not to shock you, as I did before.’ His eyes lingered on her mouth. ‘You’re a very sexual woman but we barely explored the surface the first tim
e round. This time, it’s going to be different.’
‘It might not be! Perhaps I won’t find you attractive any more!’ The moment she said the words she realised how ridiculous they sounded and he obviously agreed because an ironic smile played around his mouth.
‘Do you want me to explore that statement further?’
‘No.’ Millie was grateful that she was holding the baby. ‘I don’t. I don’t want to talk about it at all.’
‘Well, tough, because from now on no subject is off limits.’ His mobile phone buzzed insistently and Leandro retrieved it from his pocket, registered the caller’s name and then looked at her face. ‘What?’
‘If I come back, I want you to switch off your phone when you’re with us,’ she said stiffly, ‘otherwise Costas will grow up feeling second best to a mobile network.’
Leandro gave her a long look and then rejected the call with an exaggerated stab of his finger. ‘Satisfied?’
Millie nodded, although she had no expectations that it would last. She really didn’t need to worry about saying yes to coming back, Millie thought bleakly, because he’d be working all the time. He always did. She’d barely see him.
‘I have one rule for our relationship,’ he purred, dropping the phone back into his pocket. ‘Just one.’
‘Go on.’
‘No matter what happens—you don’t run off. You don’t walk away from this marriage. You stay, no matter what.’
Millie licked her lips. ‘What if you’re the one who wants to run?’
‘That isn’t going to happen.’
‘It might do.’ She thought about everything that had happened to her and felt a lurch of unease. If things had been bad before, how much worse were they going to be this time around?
She was dreading the moment when he discovered the truth about what had happened to her.
Leandro wasn’t a man to couch his true feelings under a soft blanket of political correctness or sensitivity, was he? He’d say what he thought.
And she knew what he was going to think.
And it would be like hammering nails into raw flesh.
Millie rocked the baby, afraid that her emotional turbulence might somehow communicate itself to the sleeping child and disturb him.