Amy was never so glad to see anyone in her life.
“Here, let me see him.” She scooted out of the way while Quentin bent over to unwrap the towel. He sucked in a breath and his face tightened in concern.
“He’s not dead, but he is suffering.” Quentin gently pulled the towel back around Rufus then scooped him into his arms.
“Quentin, I’m so sorry. It’s morning. I never thought...”
“Shh.” He planted a kiss on her forehead, and then stood. “It’s not your fault. Come on. You drive.”
“Where?”
“To Nick St. James. He’ll know what to do. If we can save Rufus without him suffering too much, he’ll know. If we need to—” He broke off, silent for a moment, lips pressed together. “He’ll know that, too.”
After she shut the car door, Amy cradled her head against the steering wheel. She felt sick.
“Are you OK?”
Fighting tears, she nodded but didn’t look up. The concern in Quentin’s voice touched her. Her guilt-feeling was overwhelming. The poor duck. He was suffering, might even die, because of her stupidity.
“If you want to hold Rufus, I’ll drive.”
“No.” She lifted her head then, and looked at Quentin through tear-filled eyes.
“I’m so sorry, Quentin. I should have known it wasn’t light enough outside. I feel so stupid.”
“It’s really not your fault.” He reached over and brushed a stray curl off her forehead and gave her a sad little half-crooked smile. “Don’t blame yourself.”
Amy put the car in gear and backed out of the driveway. She drove to Nick’s, her heart thumping hard with fear and desperation. They had to get there in time.
On the seat next to her, Quentin sat stroking the top of Rufus’s head and whispering in a soothing voice. Every once in a while Rufus made a sad little croaking sound. It was enough to break Amy’s heart.
“Did you tell Shayna?”
“No.” Quentin sighed, leaned his head back and closed his eyes. “I thought it best to wait until we know if we can save the little guy.”
Amy nodded, understanding completely.
Please, Father, don’t let us have to give Shayna bad news. Please help Nick do what he must to help Rufus.
“Turn here.”
Nick’s property was huge. Any other time, Amy would have taken a moment to revel in the view, but today she was more concerned about the duck.
She barely had the car at a standstill when Quentin was out the door and up the steps. He banged on Nick’s door without any attempt at politeness.
Nick opened the door and immediately took the duck.
Amy followed behind him and Quentin, to the kitchen.
“It’s not as bad as it looks,” Nick said after careful examination. “I think he’ll be fine in no time.”
Amy let out a pent-up breath and gave Quentin a weak smile. He took her hand and squeezed it gently.
“I’ll have to do some sewing, though.” Nick turned to Quentin. “I need you to hold him still. Amy, you might want to sit in the living room.”
“No, I’ll wait here.”
“OK.” He didn’t argue, but sounded skeptical like he expected her to run for the door any second. He rummaged through a drawer. “Let me just sterilize this needle.”
“I— I think I’d better go call the school. I left my phone in the car.”
“You can use mine.” Nick nodded toward the phone on the wall next to his kitchen counter.
“No, I’ll just go outside and use my own. The number is already pre-programmed.”
A knowing look passed between Quentin and Nick. Amy knew she sounded like an idiot. She knew they knew she was making an excuse, but she didn’t care. She just had to get out of there.
Half an hour later, Quentin walked out to the car to get her. He pulled her door open, and looked down at her with concern in his eyes.
“You can come back in now.”
Amy nodded and swallowed hard. “How is he?”
“He’ll be fine. He’s sore, of course, but Nick gave me a topical antiseptic that also helps numb the area. We just have to apply it every couple of hours. It’s a flesh wound. The skin was torn back, but no arteries were severed.”
She closed her eyes against the image she’d conjured up. “I just feel so bad.”
“I know you do. But really, it’s not your fault. Don’t beat yourself up over it.”
Amy nodded, but she really didn’t mean it.
As if sensing the truth, Quentin reached out to help Amy from the car. “How about you and I take the day off? We can take care of Rufus together and just try and feel better. What do you think?”
It sounded nice. She’d have to get a substitute, but since she had already called in for the morning getting the sub to stay the rest of the day shouldn’t be that difficult.
They took the duck back to Amy’s house, and Quentin made him a nice cozy spot in the corner of the kitchen. They watched him for a while, making sure he was as comfortable as possible.
Amy made tuna salad sandwiches and served them with chips and soda.
“One of the guys at work talked to Russ.” Quentin waited for her to sit down at the table before he continued. “His wife’s been gambling at the casino down in the Skagit Flats. It started out small, but escalated before he even realized it. He was trying desperately to keep them from losing everything.”
“Wow.”
“What he did with the bids was illegal. But I can’t turn him in. I can’t have him prosecuted. We’ve been friends for so many years. I just can’t bring myself to do it.”
Amy noticed he spoke of their friendship in the present-tense. He was leaps and bounds ahead of her in the forgiveness department. To think, she’d once accused him of not being able to forgive.
“Quentin, you’re not planning to hire him back?”
He looked at her thoughtfully, and then nodded. “I’m going to see him when I leave here.”
At her incredulous look, he added, “I have no choice. He’s my friend. If I don’t give him his job back, he won’t be able to afford the kind of help his wife needs. I haven’t mentioned it to him yet, but that’s my plan.”
When she didn’t comment, Quentin assured her Russ would work only in a supervised capacity, with no access to confidential documents.
Amy hoped it worked. She couldn’t stand for Quentin to be hurt again. Only Quentin could be so kind-hearted toward someone who so totally betrayed him. There weren’t many men like him. A feeling of warmth filled her heart.
When they finished eating, Quentin broached the subject they’d both been avoiding.
“Have you decided to forgive me yet?” He watched her closely and she struggled not to squirm under his gaze.
“It’s not that.”
He looked at her in disbelief. “What do you mean? You’ve told me repeatedly it’s about forgiveness.”
“No, I don’t mean that.”
“Amy, you’re confusing me. What are you talking about?”
“It’s the humiliation. I’ve figured out how to forgive you, but I haven’t figured out how to get over the humiliation.”
“Amy, I can’t fix what I did to you. All I can do is apologize.”
She saw the truth of his words. “I know that, Quentin. I really do. And I do forgive you. I still don’t quite understand, but I do forgive you.”
He took her hand and held it to her lips, his steady blue gaze caressing her face.
“Thank you. You don’t know how much this means to me. Amy, I—”
“Shh. Quentin, I don’t want to talk about that night right now. I said I forgive you. But I can’t go beyond that right now.”
Quietly, he nodded. “I need to tell you—”
“I need you to tell me about Karen.” Amy couldn’t believe she said it, but it was too late to call back the words.
“What do you want to know?”
“Maybe if I knew why, it would help.” She lifted her ch
in and looked him square in the eye. “If you were so afraid to run off with me, then why did you marry Karen so soon after I left? And in high school no less. What was the difference?”
His long silence told her he struggled with the answer. The fact that he wouldn’t look her in the eye told her she wouldn’t like the answer. Mentally she braced herself for whatever he was about to say.
“There wasn’t one.”
“That’s it? That’s your answer?” She shook her head in anger. “Don’t even try it, Quentin. You and Karen had a nice happy life. You didn’t live in the dumps. You can’t tell me there wasn’t a difference.”
“Amy, I honestly don’t know what to say. No matter what I say, we’re going to end up right back where we were, with you not forgiving me. And that’s not what I want.”
She stared at the floor, contemplating the truth of his words. Finally, she looked up. “I promise whatever you say, I won’t take a step back. OK? I just want to know about her. How you fell in love with her. Why? What kind of life you had together. What did she have that I didn’t?”
“Amy, it wasn’t like that.”
“What was it like then?”
“That’s what I was trying to tell you before.”
That foreboding she felt in the hospital was back. She didn’t want to hear whatever he was going to say. But she had to. It was the only way they could move forward. “OK, tell me then.”
Reluctantly, he finally agreed. “If we’d run off to California, I wouldn’t have finished school. Without that high school diploma, I wouldn’t have been able to support you.”
“That makes no sense, Quentin. You married Karen before you finished school.”
“I know.” His sigh was heavy as he broke eye contact and looked somewhere over her shoulder. Clearly there was something more he wasn’t telling her.
“There’s something else I don’t understand. How did you go from wanting to be a photo-journalist, to joining the military?”
“I had no choice.”
“What do you mean?”
“Amy, Karen was pregnant.”
Amy felt sick. If Quentin had smacked her, he couldn’t have startled her more.
“Pregnant? But Shayna’s not—”
“Shayna’s not old enough. I know. Karen lost the baby a few months after we were married.”
Amy placed her hand on his shoulder. “Quentin, I’m so sorry.”
He nodded. “It was pretty sad.” He reached up and covered her hand with his. “It wasn’t my baby, Amy.”
Amy stared at him in shock. “It wasn’t?”
“The baby was my brother’s.”
“Oh. Wow.” The import of what he was saying hit her. “Your brother wouldn’t marry her?”
“No. Aidan left town as soon as she told him and never looked back. She told me the night I was supposed to meet you.”
“That’s why you didn’t show up. You married her so her baby, your niece or nephew, would have a father.”
Quentin remained quiet and as he did, her admiration for him grew.
“You sacrificed your future for a child who was never born.”
Still silent, Quentin stared out the window.
“Tell me something, Quentin. Why did you stay married to her after that?”
“Because I made a vow before God. For better or worse. Because to dump a woman who’d just lost her baby would be unbelievably cruel. And Amy?” Quentin turned toward her then, an odd expression on his face. “I’m not going to sit here and tell you I never loved Karen. We were always good friends and I grew to love her very much.”
It only made sense. Quentin was a gentle, loving man. He’d never share a home, a life, a child with someone without giving his heart.
They were both silent for a while, lost in their thoughts. When Amy realized Quentin was watching her, she forced the images of him and Karen out of her head. It wasn’t easy, but it was something she needed to work on.
“Whatever happened to your brother?”
Quentin shook his head sadly. “He could be dead for all I know. After he left town, we never heard from him again. I don’t know whether or not you remember, but he was always giving my parents a bad time. Sometimes I think their worrying over Aidan is what killed both of them.” There was a hint of regret in his tone.
Her tears fell unchecked, and Quentin gently rubbed them away. The lump in her throat grew, but Amy had to speak around it because the words she had to say were so very important.
“I’m proud of you.”
It was true. Quentin had a big heart, and it never seemed to run out of compassion for others.
Forgiving Russ, marrying Karen and then staying with her after she lost the baby that belonged to his brother. Amy was sure that if Quentin’s brother were to walk through the door right now, he’d forgive him without a second thought.
She wanted to be just like him.
****
Quentin knocked on the door of the Miller house, half certain no one would answer once they looked out the window and saw him standing there. His suspicion was confirmed when he saw the flutter of the living room drapes and no one opened the door.
Disappointed, a little sad, he started to step off the porch. The faint sound of the doorknob turning stopped him in his tracks. Slowly he looked back toward the door, surprised to see Janice peering out at him.
“Quentin,” she said quietly. “Come in.” She stepped back and pulled the door wide.
Standing in the foyer, he studied Janice. Deep, wide half-circles smudged the skin under her eyes. She was pale, a ghost of the woman he once knew, and she avoided his gaze.
“How are you?” It was a dumb question, considering her appearance. But it was the only thing he could think of to say, and he wanted her to know that in spite of the circumstances, he cared.
She shrugged one shoulder and gave him an insincere half-smile. “Russ is in the living room,” she said. “Go on in.” Before he could respond, she disappeared down the hall.
The house was quiet. No TV or radio, no noisy teenagers. Quentin didn’t believe he’d ever seen this house so quiet. He stepped into the living room and hesitated.
“She’s mortified by her behavior.” Russ sat on the couch in the dimly lit living room. He looked haggard and drawn...and worried. “You’re the last person I expected to see here.”
“Russ.” Quentin walked over to the couch.
An awkward moment passed while the two men simply avoided each other’s gaze.
“I’m mortified, too.” Russ buried his face in his palms.
“I know.” Quentin could lecture his friend, or listen and accept his remorse. He chose the latter.
“Janice is sick.” Russ looked at Quentin, his eyes full of uncertainly. “She can’t help it.”
Quentin nodded and sat down in the chair opposite Russ.
“It’s this adrenaline thing. I read about it somewhere, and I need to learn more about it. Some people, when they win at gambling, adrenaline is released into their system. It’s addictive, that feeling, and they find themselves trying to attain that same feeling over and over. I think that’s what happened to Janice.”
“Is she going into therapy?”
“Yeah. Eventually. I have to find a job first. And who’ll hire me after what I did to you?”
“I will.”
“What I did was wrong.” Russ continued talking as if he didn’t hear what Quentin said. “It wasn’t a sickness, like Janice. It was the worst thing I could have done to my family, and to you.”
“You thought you were doing the right thing.”
“No, I didn’t. I knew what I was doing the entire time. It was eating me up, but I was so desperate to keep up with the money Janice was losing. I should have come to you. I know that now.”
“Russ?” Quentin held something out to his friend, but Russ didn’t seem to notice.
“I’ll try and find some way to repay you. I promise. And I’ve already made a start. I told the gu
ys at Integrity that you wouldn’t prosecute them if they agreed to withdraw their bid on the bank and forget they ever heard about the condo project.”
“Really?” Quentin was surprised, and more relieved than he thought possible. If he won the bid on the bank by default, financially, he’d be fine. If the condo project went through, well...he’d be more than fine and his business would be back on the right track.
“I hope you can forgive me someday, Quent.”
“Done.”
“What?” Russ looked at him in disbelief.
“Done. I already have. Now will you take this?”
When Russ finally saw what Quentin held, a smile spread over his face...a smile reminiscent of the old Russ, the Russ who had been his friend for years. The Russ who would be his friend for many years to come.
“I’ve got a desk with an empty spot on it, just waiting for the right coffee mug to call it home.”
When Russ took his “World’s Best Dad” mug from him, Quentin pulled his friend into a hug. “Welcome back,” he whispered. “Friend.”
16
They were wrapped in each other’s arms. The kiss appeared awkward and hurried. They didn’t really seem to be enjoying it much but Amy knew once they made it past the shy stage, kissing could lead teenagers down a dangerous path.
“Lighthouse Point,” Bradley whispered.
“Tomorrow.” Shayna’s hurried agreement was equally as breathless.
Lighthouse Point? Alarmed, Amy knew she had to talk to Quentin right away. In their day, Lighthouse Point was the favorite make-out spot for teenagers. And she was fairly sure things hadn’t changed that much over the years. Secluded and woodsy, with a gorgeous view of the water, the Point was an old army base from the early 1900s that was now a state park. Between the lighthouse, the army bunkers, and the view, it was the perfect setting for romance.
Guilt weighed heavy on her shoulders. If only she’d taken Quentin’s concerns more seriously and separated the kids in the beginning. But no, she’d had to stick by her principles and use what she’d learned in psychology. If something happened between Shayna and Bradley, and Shayna lost her innocence, Amy would never forgive herself.
Quentin would never forgive her, either.
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