Softly he closed his hand around mine, his touch so light, I almost wondered if I’d imagined it. I smile as I think about how I had to glance down to make sure it had happened.
We walked for two blocks in silence, our palms gently pressed together - my heart pounding out excited beats - my teeth digging into my bottom lip to keep from grinning goofily. At the same time freaking out in my head.
Silently squealing with excitement. I managed to hold it together and not let on how new to all this I really was.
When we were almost back to work, the Techdeck building in our sight, Christopher pulled me over in front of a cell phone store out of the path of the other pedestrians.
Easing forward, standing in front of me, he blocked out the sun until all I could see were his bright green eyes. He kept hold of my hand and used his other one to push my bangs out of my eyes. He smiled at me, my eyes strayed to his lips and I wondered what it would feel like to be kissed by him. He was the first guy I’d ever wanted to kiss.
“I’ve really enjoyed spending time with you, Lana. Would you like to go out with me tomorrow night?”
I couldn’t speak at first; my voice literally left me. Whether from shock because he asked me out or excitement he did, I’m not sure.
Speaking was impossible for a handful of heartbeats, but as soon as my gaze connected with his shining one my voice returned.
“Yes.”
* * *
“So, where are you taking me?” I ask as I look down to fasten my seatbelt across my chest. When I lift my head, he’s smiling at me. “What?” I question fidgeting in my seat.
“I’m just glad you’re here.” He starts his car. “And to answer your first question, I’m taking you to the drive in. They’re having a double feature of Pink Panther movies.”
Pink Panther movies? Those aren’t exactly romantic. My thoughts begin to race along with my heart.
Maybe this is just a friend date.
Did he really ask me out - ask me out?
I’ve probably turned an innocent invitation to go to the movies together into something romantic. Oh, my God. I’m such an idiot.
What was I thinking?
Why would someone as gorgeous as Christopher want to date me?
As we ride, I remain silent, mortified I’d misunderstood his intentions. I glance down at the knee length skirt I chose and wish I’d worn jeans or my most comfortable pair of cutoff shorts. By the time he parks his car in a spot ideal for viewing the movies, I’m tempted to ask him to take me home.
I look down as I spin the eternity knot ring my grandmother gave me for my sixteenth birthday. Nana explained the symbol was fashioned to have no beginning and no end and she said someday I would meet a man who would love me the same way. Right now, in this moment I’m skeptical falling in love will ever happen for me. I’m an oddity to many with an IQ intimidating to most and the body of a teenager - not exactly what most guys are looking for in a girlfriend.
“Hey, what’s going on in your magnificent brain?” Christopher interrupts my musings.
Tracing over the eternity knot with my index finger, I keep my eyes down. I press my lips tight together. Don’t you dare cry.
“I think I want to go home.” I whisper, still not able to meet his gaze.
He removes his seatbelt and shifts his weight to face me. “Lana.” My name on his lips is deep and warm like strong arms wrapped around me and it gives me the courage to glance up at him. His eyes lock on mine and he takes my hand in his. “What’s wrong?” he asks.
Eyebrows drawn together in a frown, his concern for me is so evident; I’m ashamed. I need to tell him what’s going on so he can take me home and we can end this painfully awkward conversation.
“I misunderstood your invitation. I thought this was a date and now I’m just embarrassed I thought you liked me - liked me - not that you just liked me.”
He rakes his hand through his hair and a small smile plays about his lips. “I’m not sure if I understand what you’re saying, but let me give it a shot. You thought I was asking you on a date when you said yes, but now you think I meant we’d go out as friends?” He cocks his eyebrow and waits for me to answer.
I chew on my bottom lip and nod my head.
His hand slides in the back of my hair, cupping the back of my neck. Before I can even grasp what he’s doing, his lips are on mine and it’s better than I ever imagined it could be. They’re soft and warm as they slowly move against mine. He pulls my lower lip between his, releases it and then repeats the motion. This time instead of letting go, he licks the inside edge and dips his tongue inside my mouth. I moan and grip his shoulders as I surrender everything to this kiss - my first kiss.
I touch my tongue to his and pull him closer. He’s making me ache between my legs and I’ve never felt anything like this before.
Warm hands cup my cheeks before he pulls away. He drops his forehead to mine as we both breath at an accelerated pace.
“Does that answer your question about whether this is a date or not?” he asks and we both laugh, our foreheads still touching.
“I’m still a little unsure. Maybe you need to clear it up for me some more.”
* * *
“Give me a Southern Comfort and Coke, light on the coke please.” The waitress finishes writing our order and moves on to the next table.
“What’s going on with you? Why the emergency night out?” Kenna asks, pushing her long black hair over her shoulder.
Carefully crossing my legs, I adjust my green dress to cover as much of my thighs as I can. I’m not sure why I wore this tonight. Yes, you are, my traitorous brain shouts at me. It was Christopher’s favorite. He used to say this dress made my eyes green like his.
“Today is his birthday.”
Kenna angles her head toward me. “Christopher’s?” she questions.
Pressing my lips tightly together, I nod. Kenna reaches across the table and squeezes my hand. “I’m sorry you’re dealing with this. This calls for lots of alcohol. Some days you just need to numb the pain instead of pushing through it.”
The next couple of hours are a blur of drinks and dancing. Quake has quickly become my favorite club since I moved to Boston. The music is always loud and the song choices are on point, just what I need tonight.
Kenna and I dance with each other, ignoring any guys who try to grind up on us. She’s a guy magnet with her sultry good looks, and she doesn’t even realize it. Then again, she lives with Derek, one of my bosses. They finally admitted their feelings for one another, and now they’re so in love it’s practically vomit inducing. I hope they’ll always be that way. I know firsthand how devastating it is to be hopelessly in love and have it ripped away without any notice.
Chapter Seven
Zack
MID-DECEMBER
A knock on my door interrupts my perusal of the Boston Herald newspaper. Pushing my chair back, I rise, running my fingers through my thick hair. I’d like to cut off the shaggy mess it’s turning into, but I can’t. Growing my hair and the thick beard I now wear is all part of my new disguise. I can’t risk anyone recognizing me and ruining my chance to be with Lana.
Glancing down at the white t-shirt and navy blue pajama pants I’m wearing, I grimace. I’m not really prepared for company right now, and by company, I mean Lana. She’s the only person I’ve gotten to know, and I wouldn’t want it any other way.
Walking across the cold hardwood floor on bare feet, I peer through the peephole to make sure it’s her. There are a few people in this city who would just as soon gut me and watch me die, than take me alive. In fact, Kyle’s already tried. He came damn close too. Only due to knowing the right people who patched me up and nursed me back to health am I standing here today.
Opening the door wide, I can’t hold back the smile breaking across my face when I see her. She’s adorable in her jeans, snow boots, and a long black sweater two sizes too big for her. It looks like it swallowed her torso and kept going all the way
down to the middle of her thighs.
“Hi.” She beams one of her irresistible smiles up at me while her hands nervously play with the cuffs of her overly long sleeves.
“Hey, come on in, stranger. I haven’t seen you all week.” I move back and she steps inside.
When I close the door, I run my fingers through my hair once again. Hopefully, I don’t look like I just woke up.
Women seem to appreciate my looks and I don’t usually worry about my appearance. But, Lana’s special. I want her to find me attractive which makes me think ludicrous things like whether my hair looks okay.
What the fuck?
Sometimes, I don’t recognize myself anymore. I’ve gone soft. One look at her and all my plans of revenge flew out the fucking window.
All I can say is, Kyle better pray things work out with Lana and me. If they don’t, I’m going to need something to take my mind off the devastation it will cause me. And that something will be his blood on my hands.
She gracefully walks toward the kitchen. I slowly follow behind, running a hand over my beard. I wish I’d taken the time to trim it yesterday like I wanted to.
“Do you want some coffee?” I ask, glancing at her as she takes the seat closest to the one I was sitting in.
She shakes her head. “No, thanks. I just came by to see if you want to go Christmas tree shopping with me.” She stares down at the cuff of her black sleeve, playing with the edge where it lies on the back of her hand. “There’s a tree farm about twenty minutes from here. You search for the perfect one, and they’ll cut it down and wrap it for you.”
She glances up at me, her eyes are shining a bright emerald green today. “They’ll even deliver it for a small fee.” She bites on the corner of her bottom lip like she does when she’s uncomfortable.
“What time are you thinking of going?” I ask, studying her features. Her skin is fair and clear, her dark pink lips a stark contrast tempting me to kiss her over and over.
“I can go whenever. It’s Saturday and my weekends are mine.”
“Give me twenty minutes to shower and do a few things. Do you want to wait here?”
“Wait here while you shower?” she asks, visibly swallowing. “Uh...no. I’m going to head back to my place and wait there.”
“What a shame.”
* * *
“Tell me about your life in Seattle.”
I want to know more about her past and we have some time before we arrive at the tree farm. I need to take advantage of every opportunity I get when it comes to her.
“There’s really not much to tell,” she replies, crossing her arms.
I know she doesn’t want to talk about it, but I need to coax it out of her.
“Are your parents still alive?” I ask opting for a different tactic. Maybe if I ask a few simple questions she’ll be willing to share with me.
She smiles. “Yes, they are. They still live in the house we grew up in.”
“You said we, I’m assuming you have siblings.” I push for more.
“I have an older brother, Sean. He’s six years older than me. We used to be close, but we’ve grown apart. It’s on me, not him,” she murmurs the last part so soft I barely hear her.
I glance over at her and she turns to face the side window, hiding the tears I noticed welling in her eyes.
I’ll leave it alone for now. If I push too hard she’ll close off and never confide in me.
When we pull into the lot at the tree farm, Lana pulls a bright white knit cap on her head and matching mittens on her hands. I smile to myself at how adorable she is. She looks like she’s ready to go play in the snow and build a snowman.
“Are you going to be warm enough?” She skeptically looks at my attire.
“Sure, I don’t need gloves or a hat.” I flash her a smile and open my door.
Ten minutes later, I’m regretting my words. My ears are frozen stiff, and I think my fingers have frostbite. Jamming my hands in my jacket pockets, I curl my fingers into fists to warm them up.
“What do you think of this one?” Lana asks gesturing to a tree that looks the same as the previous one she pointed out to me.
Do trees have doppelgangers?
Jesus. I think my brain has frostbite too. Or maybe it’s just the effect watching Lana skip over the snow covered ground from tree to tree has on me.
Her cheeks are flushed a bright pink from the cold air and her eyes are flashing with excitement. I wish I was the one who put that look on her face. Soon.
“I think it’s the best one yet,” I answer with feigned excitement while I walk slightly ahead of her to the next row of trees.
The thump of a snowball hitting my back has me spinning around with a scowl on my face. When I notice Lana with her mitten over her mouth, her eyes huge in her tiny face, shaking with laughter, I know who the culprit is.
I run toward her, and she lets out a shriek, before taking off in the other direction. But, I’m too quick for her. I scoop her up in my arms, one hand under her knees and the other behind her back and swing her back and forth over a huge pile of snow.
“Please don’t,” she giggles.
I swing her as I count. “One - two - three.” Instead of throwing her, I release her to her feet and she slides down the front of my body. It does wonders for warming me up - parts of me, anyway. My arms circle around her waist and her mitten covered hands rest on my arms. Her head is tipped back, her eyes locked on my mouth, her cheeks flushed pink.
I could kiss her right now and she’d be on board. I can tell. She wants my lips on hers as much as I want to know if she tastes as delicious as I’ve imagined.
I breathe in the biting chill of the air and remind myself why it can’t happen today.
I’m not deviating from my plan.
“How about we choose your tree, and I buy us some hot chocolate?”
* * *
“Come on you have to help me.” She peers over her shoulder at me as she winds another strand of lights around the branches of the tree we chose.
I’m relaxing on her couch my arms resting along the back edge as I watch her. She makes the most mundane task interesting to observe.
“You look like you’ve got it all under control.” I wink at her.
She huffs and shakes her head. “Those chocolate cupcakes I baked last night, the ones you were eyeballing earlier; I might not share them with you if you don’t give me a hand.”
I rise to my feet, she hit me where it hurts. I’m a sucker for homemade baked goods.
Her hardwood floors are slippery underneath my sock covered feet and I slide the last couple of feet over to her.
She giggles. “Why am I hearing the beginning of Old Time Rock and Roll in my head?”
I look down at my jeans and then back to her. “I think I’m overdressed if that’s the case.”
She looks me over and her face flushes an adorable pink hue. I love when she blushes. She’s innocent for her age.
I hold my hand out, “I’ll take that.” I gesture with my chin to the strand of lights clutched in her fist. She turns it over to me without a word and I continue winding the strand around the tree branches.
The oversized sweater she had on earlier is gone and has been replaced with a tight fitting gray t-shirt. There’s a purple husky on the front with the words Washington on top and football underneath.
“Did you go to the University of Washington?” I ask.
“Yes, I did.” She stands hands clasped, watching me.
Good, another new thing I’ve learned about her today.
“Did you date a football player?” I raise my eyebrow at her.
She giggles. “Um, no. I was only fifteen when I started college. Trust me, no guys wanted to go out with me.”
It doesn’t surprise me her brain capabilities surpass most. I already knew she was special, and this just adds another part to the Lana puzzle I’m putting together. It’s only a matter of time before I have all the pieces, and then all I’ll have t
o do is put her back together again.
She’ll be better than ever; all the wounds of her past will be healed and the two of us will finally be together.
We take a break to enjoy some coffee and her delicious chocolate cupcakes. Is there anything that’s not perfect about this girl?
“I’ll work for food,” I joke as I take another bite. “Do you have anything else you need done? Just send a few of these baby’s home with me after.”
She taps her lip like she’s trying to come up with something for me to do, but then giggles instead. “Finish up, we have some ornaments to hang.” She announces as she rinses her cup out in the kitchen sink.
I groan. “I don’t decorate trees.”
Jesus. I can’t remember the last time I had a tree. I’ve not put one up since I’ve been living on my own and my family wasn’t exactly the traditional type. The last year we had a tree I remember my dad tearing the cord out of the wall and throwing the tree across the living room.
“Merry Fucking Christmas,” he yelled. My mother stood there, her hand over her mouth, weeping. My younger sister Chloe ran out of the room, tears streaming down her face. I can still hear the noise the glass ornaments made shattering against the wood floor as if it was yesterday.
“Zack, are you okay?” Lana’s hand on my arm and her sweet voice pull me out of my bad memories.
I smile at her. “I’m great now.” And I really am. All the bad is in the past. It’s like I’ve been reborn. My eyes drift to her small nativity scene. Like Jesus. How appropriate. All my sins washed away. I finally have a chance to do things right with her. I just hope I don’t fuck it up.
I’m not the kind of guy she should be with and she’s bound to realize it.
CHRISTMAS DAY
“I got you something,” Lana says, tucking her chin and lowering her eyes. Her shyness is adorable to me. Having just walked through her door, I’m amused she couldn’t wait.
The Complete Quake Series Page 41