by LK Collins
“‘Kay.”
As I open it up, it’s a video. The whole world around me freezes as I click “play.” Betrayal like no other takes over, and I can’t believe my eyes. It’s Quinn and my dad…together.
Vomit rises in the back of my throat, and I try to hold it back, but as I watch the woman I’ve grown to love have sex with my own father…I lose it, gagging and throwing up in my trash can.
I drop my phone to the floor, her voice as she says his name sounds just like when she says mine, and I don’t want to believe what I’m seeing. It can’t be true…can it?
“Mr. Smith, are you okay?” Suzy asks, and I shake my head holding on to the can. “Close the door,” I shout and right away she does. Pulling myself together enough to speak, I pick my phone back up; Quinn is still there, and I ask her, “When were you going to tell me, or were you?”
Very calmly she says to me, “You have to let me explain everything.”
“Explain? There’s nothing to explain. You lied to me.”
“I didn’t mean to.”
“Goddammit, how do you accidently lie to someone, Quinn?”
She sobs, and as much as I just want to hang up on her, I have to know more. How? Why? When? “You’ve gotta talk to me, Quinn, or I’m gonna fucking lose my mind. My father just sent me a video of you having sex with him, and it’s all I can think about.”
“He was in Denver for a meeting way before I knew you. I met him when I was out having drinks with some co-workers.”
“So you slept with him? A man double your age?”
“I’m so sorry, baby.”
“Am I dreaming?” And I ask, “Is he your ex?”
“Yes. He’s the one you emailed, but you have to believe me that I didn’t know you two were related.” What the fuck? Am I hearing her right?
“My dad?” I repeat softly; tears are in my eyes and that vile feeling of despair reeks inside of me. Closing my eyes, the usual beautiful vision of her face—that not long ago was my salvation—has been destroyed. All I can see is her and my father.
“I’m so sorry, Merritt. I had no—”
I cut her off, “We have the same last name and work for the same company. How did you not know?”
“I didn’t even think about the last name…Smith is so common. And you know I kept my hands out of the deal when I signed him. You have to believe me, Merritt. I promise, baby.”
“But you slept with him, Quinn, and then sat at breakfast in California and acted like everything was normal, like you two were strangers when he…he’s been inside of you and then I was inside of you. How am I supposed to get past that?” Saying the words makes me fucking ill again.
“I don’t know,” she says, and I don’t know either…I can’t be with someone who would lie right to my face. A coincidence or not, she wasn’t honest about this, so what else has she lied to me about?
“I can’t be with you anymore.”
“Please, don’t do this. You have to believe me. I love you, Merritt,” she begs me and her words sicken me, how can she even say that or ask me that?
“I fucking loved you too, and you ruined that. Goodbye, Quinn.” Pressing the end button on my phone is the hardest thing I’ve ever done. I’ve lost half of myself. What I thought was the good half, my Quinn, was all a lie, and my dad, how could he? Getting up, I roll up my sleeves and storm towards his office, ready to make him pay. He didn’t need to send me the video; he could’ve told me, man to man. And she had even more chances to tell me.
My insides are a mess. A complete fucking mess! Anger fills me, everything that I once thought was my foundation and I could count on has all been a lie. If they could keep this from me…what else are they hiding?
41
Quinn
Have you ever felt like you were dead? Like part of you died, and inside of you now there is a huge gaping hole? As I lie on my couch, my arm hanging off it, dangling over the soft carpet, that is exactly how I feel…dead.
Part of me died when Charles sent the video to Merritt. I underestimated Charles, which was ultimately my biggest mistake. I should’ve come clean with Merritt in California and been open with him. I should’ve followed my gut, even if it hurt him, and I’ll always regret that most. It was my one chance to save us, and I didn’t do that.
There’s a knock on my door, and I get up to let Willow in. She didn’t need to drive all the way up here; I told her I was fine. But she was worried about me, and I guess I’d do the same if she were going through what I am. “How are you doing?” she asks me, as I flop back down flat on my face before she can even give me a hug.
“I’m okay,” I grumble, my voice cracking because my throat is so dry and I haven’t talked for days.
“You don’t look like it. When was the last time you ate or drank anything?”
I shrug my shoulders, and she takes ahold of them sitting me up, “Goddammit, Quinn, snap out of it, you’re scaring me.”
“I’m fine. I ate last night!”
“Good. Now you need to get your ass up and take a fucking shower. You stink.”
“I don’t stink,” I tell her and smell the shirt I’m wearing—Merritt’s shirt. It still holds his scent and instantly brings tears to my eyes. I sob like I’ve been doing for days now, somehow my body still producing the tears. Willow holds me and lets me be, the feeling of her arms around me, anyone’s arms around me, is so reassuring. Giving me hope that I’m going to be okay.
“Come on, let’s get you in the bath.”
Following Willow, I feel wobbly, but she won’t take no for an answer. As I strip naked, the smell of lavender fills the air, reminding me of the last time I took a bath. It was in here…with Merritt. Tears again consume me, and as she helps me into the bath, my teeth chatter, and she says, “Even though you don’t want to talk about what happened again, I really think it would be good to get it all off your chest.”
Sinking as far down into the tub as I can, trying to warm myself, I know she’s right. I don’t want to talk about what happened. After Merritt broke up with me, I was a mess and could barely make it home from work. Right away, I called Willow, and she talked me through things and has been checking in on me every day. She’s also trying to get me to talk about what happened…but I can’t.
“Has Ari said anything to you about him?” I ask her, hoping she’s heard something and that he is okay.
“No, he hasn’t.”
“Okay.”
“Are you not going to talk to me about it?”
“What do you want me to say?” I snap at her and her eyes get wide.
“I need to know how it was possible.”
“How what was possible?”
“That you didn’t know Merritt was Charles’ son.”
“Do you think I’m lying, Willow?” I question her and sit all the way up, suddenly offended.
“No, honey, not at all. But if I know how, then maybe I can help and talk to Merritt for you.”
“There is no talking to him. I lied when I found out, and he saw a video of me with his dad.”
“Oh shit. But at the time you didn’t know he was his dad?”
“Of course not, I told you that. I didn’t even know Merritt existed when I was with Charles. His dad is my ex, Willow, plain and simple. I already told you all of this,” I get agitated easily, feeling like everyone is against me.
“Calm down; I just want to understand how you didn’t know they were related.”
I shake my head. My best friend evidently doesn’t believe me, and it makes me sick. Out of all people in the world, I thought I could at least depend on her…but I guess not.
42
Merritt
Coping with betrayal never gets easier. It seems death is easier to process. You find peace in knowing the ones you’ve lost have gone on to a better place. But with betrayal, the ones you lost and everyone involved seem to consume your mind reminding you of what they’ve done.
My father, for starters, is a fucking b
itch and set it all up. He knew Quinn was calling me, it was the perfect time to ruin us, and then he skipped out, and I haven’t spoken to him since he sent me the video.
I get why my dad did it. Why he wanted to hurt me, even though the rest of the world doesn’t know, and when I went into his office to confront him, he was gone. Of course he was—he’s a fucking coward. I should’ve known he’d ruin my life one way or another. He’s not even my real father, as far as DNA goes. My mother cheated on him and had me, and he acted like I was his, but deep down he always despised me. The loss of my mom was so tremendous that I thought I owed it to not just him, but her, to stick by him. I was making up for her mistake all along when it wasn’t my place.
Sitting out on my back deck, my mind keeps spinning the same way it has been for days, and I can’t shake the thought that this was all a setup. I mean, how could it be a coincidence?
Hell, maybe Ari is in on it too. He and my father could be trying to push me out of the business. He was always my father’s favorite, until he left, but maybe it was just a show. The same way everything between Quinn and I was…just a show.
Picking up my phone, I dial Ari. I have to know; did he set this all up? Did he know all along that Quinn had been with my father?
He doesn’t answer, which is not like him, but come to think about it, I haven’t been able to get ahold of him much lately.
Calling Suzy, she answers right away, still at the office. “Hi, Mr. Smith.”
“Hey, I’m glad you’re still there. You have Natalie’s calendar access for when she’s gone, right?” Natalie is my father’s assistant, and if I can’t get a hold of Ari, I can at least confront my dad.
“Yes, sir, I do.”
“Could you look at my dad’s calendar and tell me if he has any dinner meetings tonight?”
“Um, he does from six ‘til eight at Shea Rouge, but I’m not sure who it’s with.”
“Awesome, that’s what I needed.”
I hang up with her, grateful to have her help. Shea Rouge is in town, which means my dad is still here. Grabbing my car keys, I make the trip across town and valet.
Walking inside the upscale restaurant, the atmosphere in here is calm and relaxed. It’s right on the water, and there are tons of boats docked at the marina. Taking a seat at the bar, the bartender asks me, “What can I get ya?”
“I’ll take a water, please.”
I need to be clear-headed and on my toes, if my gut is right. Looking around, the sun is setting, but outside, I spot my father and…Ari. They are deep in conversation, laughing and enjoying each other like they are best friends. And immediately I’m aware they are working against me. Pulling out my cell phone, I dial Ari. He looks down at his ringing phone and ignores my call, sending me straight to his voice mail.
Leaving the water I ordered on the bar, I head towards them. My father laughs and places his hand on his shoulder, and I pull out a chair, sitting down, shocking both of them with my presence.
“Merritt,” my dad smiles a devilish grin, and for the first time ever, I acknowledge him as, “Charles,” and then turn to greet the latest addition to the list of people I no longer trust, “Ari.”
“We were just gonna call you,” Ari says, like a fucking pussy.
“Really, ‘cause I just watched you ignore my phone call.”
They look at each other, and then my dad, or should I say Charles, puts his hands up and says, “Okay, you got us. We were planning a party for you when you take over the company.”
“Fuck you both.” Charles smiles, and I ask them, “So was this your plan all along? To fuck me out of the business I’ve worked my entire life for?”
“Let’s be honest, Merritt, you were never cut out to run the company, not the way Ari is.”
“So why not fire me then, you fucking pussy?”
“Because when you leave on your own, I’m done with you and neither of us is paying you a cent more.”
“Neither of us? He doesn’t even work for you.”
“Oh, but he does. He’s been doing plenty to make this the biggest merger in the history of the American oil and gas industry.” Ari won’t even look at me. The bitch betrayed me and now isn’t man enough to own up to it. It all makes sense now, the drama with the Serranos, the stocks, the deal in Steamboat my dad “offered a million dollars more for.” It was all for his benefit, and they played me. “Ari left so when he takes over the company, he can bring Azures’ business too. I didn’t build this empire to turn it over to some mistake of a child and not have it be the largest oil and gas company in the world.”
“Fuck you both. You’re meant for each other, you know that?”
“Oh, look at you getting all hurt. Why don’t you run along to that slut I took advantage of. I’m sure she’ll still want you because we’re fucking done with you.”
I ignore my father and look at Ari, and he finally brings his eyes to meet mine. “Is it all true?” He nods, and even though I knew it was, having him confirm it is a terrible blow. “Why Quinn? Why bring her into all of this?”
“It was easy, man,” Ari says. “I knew you’d fall for her as soon as I put you two in that bedroom. Just look at her. You both were fucking puppets.” Standing up, I lay a hard right hook into his face. His chair flies backwards with him in it, and Charles sits stunned, looking at me as Ari stumbles to his feet, obviously wobbled. The guests all look in our direction, and I tell my dad, “He’s your fucking problem now. Just feel lucky I don’t do the same to you. I’d probably kill your frail ass.”
I walk off, looking back at Ari one last time. He’s half conscious. I really should mop the floor with both of them. The news of what Quinn did is really nothing compared to this betrayal.
43
Quinn
Looking at my computer screen, I’m not sure how I’m going to get through the entire day. Willow recommended I come back to work, and at the time, I thought it was a good idea. But sitting here, the faint smell of the flowers Merritt sent me still wafting in the air, looming from my trashcan, and I just can’t stop staring at the picture of us on my computer screen.
God, it hurts. It’s the most excruciating pain I’ve ever dealt with, and I want it to go away. Looking down at my bracelet, the one he bought for me, I pop it open and take out the tiny, tattered piece of paper. As I unfold it, the ink has faded, but still faintly visible is his name, Merritt. What was a wish of mine not so long ago, now will never come true.
Through a sob, I choke back the tears and drop it into my trash. I’ve got to let him go…I have to.
“Quinn,” the receptionist calls through my phone, almost making me jump out of my skin.
“Yeah.” I try and sound somewhat normal.
“Your nine thirty is in the conference room.”
“Okay,” I answer back, caught off guard. I don’t have a clue who my nine thirty is or what to do about it. Going into my calendar, I wait for it to load and it’s taking forever.
Goddammit!
Grabbing my iPad so I can search the company name if needed and fly by the seat of my pants, I make my way across the office and stop at the door, swallowing and taking in a breath of air before I go in and put on a fake happy persona.
But as I open it and step in, the wind is knocked from my lungs and I freeze. Everything around me slows. My senses that weeks ago died suddenly come back alive breathing him in, and I stand unable to move.
Merritt is sitting at the head of the conference table, his brown eyes hard to read. Why is he here? He hates me. Then in that commanding voice that I’ll do anything for, he orders me to close the door.
Gently I do and take a seat across from him, prepared for the wrath of what is next. In front of him is a folder. I’m sure it’s of more pictures or something that his dad sent him, and I begin to feel as though I could hyperventilate.
“How are you?” he asks.
I nod, still not speaking, and he says, “It’s good to see you.”
“You too.”
My voice trembles; this is harder than I ever imagined it would be. He opens the folder and hands me a piece of paper. “What’s this?” I ask looking down at the blank white sheet.
“You tell me, what do you see?”
“Nothing,” I’m confused, but lately, that’s all I am.
“I see something different.”
I flip it over, the back is blank too, and I tell him, “I’m sorry, but my brain is mush lately.”
“Please don’t be sorry, Quinn.” Hearing him say those words when that’s all I should be makes me cry. Why is he doing this? “I see a blank page with nothing but possibility on it.” He slides me over a pen and tells me, “If you could have anything in this world, what would it be?”
I write the word you, very small, knowing he’s got to just be playing a game with me. It’s payback, I’m sure, but being in his presence, I can’t deny what I want. There is no way he’ll ever forgive me or look at me the same way, how could he? I can barely forgive myself for lying to him.
I pass him back the paper, and he opens the folder. Inside is another one, and in his very large handwriting is the word, YOU.
Reading it, it is hard to believe. Tears fill my eyes, and he says to me, “I know you had no idea my father and I were related, and…I forgive you for not telling me as soon as you found out. That must’ve been a hard moment for you.”
“Why would you forgive me?” I ask, needing to know his reasoning.
“Because you were set up, and so was I.”
“What do you mean?”
“Charles and Ari have been working together to push me out of the business. From the moment you met my dad, it was all part of a plan to get rid of me.”
“What the fuck, why?”
“I guess because I’m not his son,” he tells me, the revelation is a giant surprise. As he explains further, it all makes sense, but understanding how Ari had a hand in it all doesn’t add up. “But you bought Ari’s stocks and gave him the money for them.”