by LK Collins
My phone buzzes on the coffee table, and groggily I try to reach for it, but I can’t move. Fallon is pressed tightly against me with her head resting against my chest.
I hate to wake her, so I squint and try to read the screen, but it’s too far away. I give up and settle back into the couch, but my phone buzzes again, forcing me to actually grab it. I move slowly, trying not to wake her as I lay her head down and then pull the blanket off the back of the couch and drape it over her gorgeous body.
The texts are from my mom.
Mom: Should I go with the blue or yellow one?
A picture of two different raincoats follows the text message. Really? That’s what she had me get up for? My dad’s sixtieth birthday is coming up, and she is going all out getting ready for the big night. Aggravated, I message her back.
Me: The blue one, Mom.
Then turn to Fallon, who’s still sleeping soundly. She’s fucking beautiful. There’s not a single thing I’d change about her. Jesus, it enrages me that Leo did this. I never liked that motherfucker. But from the very beginning, she was head over heels in love, so who was I to tell her otherwise? She would’ve hated me had I said anything.
“How long was I out for?” she asks me through a tired yawn, slowly sitting back up.
“A few hours.”
“Dang, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to come in here, cry all over you, and just fall asleep. I probably ruined your day.”
“Shut up; you did the opposite of ruin my day. You know I love seeing you. My home is your home, stay as long as you need.”
“You might be sorry you said that seeing as how I’m technically homeless now.” She lets out a short, sad laugh before leaning her head back and closing her eyes.
“I mean it. I have an extra room that’s yours as long as you want it.” She cracks one eye open, questioningly, as if she doesn’t quite believe I would offer to let her stay here. “What? Did you think I was gonna send you back to Leo? My mission is to keep you as far away from him and make you forget him.”
“Thank you, Parks.” She takes a deep breath and finally looks at me. “But, what am I going to do?”
“I told you, Fallon, you’re gonna start over, work on taking it one day at a time.”
“I was with him for two years.”
“I know you were.”
“How could he do this to me?”
Tears gloss over her eyes, and I hate to see her upset. I just want to make everything better.
“Hey, what do you say we order in your favorite takeout and watch a movie?”
She nods a tiny bit, silently agreeing to let the topic drop for now. I give her a half smile, toss her the remote, and then get up to grab the takeout menu off my fridge.
As I hand it to her, she smiles. That’s what I want, to see her happy. I take a seat next to her, and we both look at the menu. We’re so close to one another that I can smell her hair. It’s one of my favorite scents in the world—sweet like a summer day.
“You know what I want,” she says and hands me back the menu before flipping the television on. As I call in our to-go order, she scrolls through the on-demand listings, looking for something new to watch.
“It’ll be here in twenty minutes,” I tell her.
“Oh my God, you watched Deep Water Horizon without me?”
“No, I didn’t. That must be wrong or something.” She knows I’m lying. She’s looking pointedly between the previously watched menu and me.
“Parks, you’re a terrible liar, you know that?”
“Whatever, I didn’t watch it.”
“Mmm-hmm,” she says and clicks the movie to purchase it. “So, you won’t mind watching it again?”
“No, not at all.”
“See, you did watch it!”
“Maybe I did, I don’t know. I can’t remember which movies I have seen and haven’t seen, or which ones you won’t allow me to see without you.”
She giggles as the movie begins and covers us both with the blanket. I couldn’t be happier about watching this movie for a second time, especially with her. She might know I’m lying about the movie, but thankfully, she’s clueless about the feelings I have for her.
3
Fallon
Parks is cooking breakfast while I sit and watch, still zoned out from the events that went down yesterday. I hoped a good night’s rest would help me to feel settled, but it didn’t. Today is going to be worse, and it has my stomach in knots just thinking about it. I have to get my things from Leo’s before he’s off work for the weekend. That doesn’t mean I want to.
“Are you going into work today?” Parks asks me, his light blue eyes pulling me from my stressed out mind fuck as he serves us both eggs.
“I texted my boss and asked her for a personal day.”
“What did she say?”
“She hasn’t responded, but that’s normal for Marla, she hates me.” He nods, knowing just what I mean. I’m a physical therapist at a local hospital, and since Marla was recently promoted to the head of my department, we have bumped heads. So, long story short, I’m sure my calling in today after being off yesterday has ruined her day.
“Speaking of text messages, have you heard from Leo?”
“Oh, he’s been blowing up my phone, so I blocked his phone number.”
“Are you gonna talk to him?
“No, there is nothing to say, Parks.”
“Good,” he tells me before taking a sip of coffee.
“So you got a busy day?”
“Nope, I’m open.” He smiles, finishing his food. He looks so relaxed that I almost hate to ask him to help me go get my stuff, but there is no way I’ll be able to do it by myself.
“Would you want to help me get my clothes and things from Leo’s?”
“Yeah, of course. Are you sure he’s not gonna be there? ’Cause if he is, I’ll fucking punch his teeth in.”
“Whoa, killer.” He smirks, running his fingers through his short messy brown hair. “Remind me to never piss you off.”
“You’re reminded.”
I chuckle and do my best to keep myself in a positive place. I have to, I’ve let Leo break me down too many times to count, yesterday was just another one of those days, and I’m not gonna go there again. I won’t. Parks has been a huge help. I don’t think I could be more grateful for him and everything he did for me yesterday. He really is the best.
“You doing okay with things?” Parks asks me.
“Yeah, I think so. I mean my heart hurts, but I guess that’s expected.”
“Give it some more time.”
I nod, knowing he is right. “I appreciate you letting me stay here with you. It helps when I’m around you.” And it does. The connection Parks and I share is so special. He is so much more than just my best friend. But, as much as there are deep feelings hidden within myself for him, I have to keep those at bay. He has a girlfriend and has been with her for years. But I always seem to forget, probably because I’ve only met her once, years ago. But still, it makes him belong to her and not me. Thinking about his girlfriend reminds me that I didn’t consider how she’d feel before I agreed to stay here, so I ask.
“That’s what I’m gonna do. Parks, I appreciate everything so much, but what about Mallory?”
“I already told her, and she’s cool.”
“Really?”
“Yeah, so what do you say we go get your shit and torch the cheating asshole’s bed?”
“Works for me,” I tell him through a laugh.
Together Parks and I head out. We decided to take Parks’ truck since my car won’t hold much, and I try my hardest to stay strong on the drive, which is surprisingly easy to do when I have Parks with me.
When we walk through the front door, the space feels different, tainted, dirty. Like the betrayal of his cheating is seeping through the walls.
“Douche Bag?” Parks calls out, and I laugh at him, smacking his shoulder.
“Who are you hollering for?”
“Now, that’s doubtful.”
“It is, really?”
I shake my head, thinking about what Parks just said, and I guess it really isn’t that unlikely. The images of yesterday are so vivid; my stomach knots up. Parks must see my hesitation, so he steps forward and grabs my attention with a reassuring smile and wink.
“Where should we begin?”
“Upstairs.”
I grab the luggage from the hall closet and then a roll of trash bags from under the kitchen sink. He follows me up the stairs, and my mind floods back to Leo and that girl yesterday, but I push away the stresses.
You can do this; hell, you have to.
“Do you want to take my clothes from the closet, and I’ll empty the dresser?”
“Sure.” Ignoring the way the bed taunts me, almost as if it’s rubbing in my face what Leo did, I open a trash bag and just start to pile in all of my things as fast as I can. When I get to the bottom of the drawer, I find one of Leo’s shirts that I loved to sleep in, and the feel of the cotton between my fingertips causes me to break down.
I sob, touching it, but before I can make a move or process what’s happening, Parks pulls me against his chest and closes the drawer with his other hand.
“Don’t go there, Fallon. You hear me?”
I nod, breathing him in heavily through my nose before craning my neck to look into his clear blue eyes. All the clarity I need is there. He’s right.
Don’t go there. I repeat to myself over and over again as he steps away and heads to the closet to give me a minute to calm down.
“You good?” he asks, reemerging with an armful of clothes.
“Yeah.”
“Good, do you want me to finish?”
“Just these other three drawers.” I point to them on the dresser and then walk into the bathroom. I should have gone downstairs instead. My hand shakes as I start to collect my toiletries from the counter, careful not to actually touch anything of Leo’s. We spent so many mornings getting ready together in here that I can still hear the ghosts of our conversations. I fucking hate him, and I hate what he did to me . . . maybe I’m not okay.
Gripping onto the sides of the sink, I feel the tears pooling in my eyes. I hold tightly to the granite as if it has the answers to all my problems.
Don’t break down, Fallon.
“You’re quiet in there,” Parks hollers, and my fingers release their death grip on the counter top as I holler out to him, “I’m good.”
Then I focus only on the task. Nothing else matters except getting my shit out of here. After the bathroom is emptied, I carry the bag to Parks, who takes what we have so far to his truck. I unload my nightstand into another suitcase and then do a sweep of the upstairs. I don’t have many mementos here since I left most of my things in storage when I moved in with Leo. Mainly because he’s so OCD that I knew it wasn’t worth the fight to try to add anything. Or maybe subconsciously my brain knew this is how things could end.
Parks comes back in from outside taking the other suitcase from me at the top of the stairs.
“What else do you need?” he asks.
“Nothing.”
“All right, nothing it is. Should I torch the bed now?”
I can’t help but laugh at him. God, he always makes me feel better. I shake my head, knowing that even though I’m beyond pissed, it’s not in my nature to hurt people. Leo might do something like that on one of his drunken benders, but not me.
We head downstairs, and I grab my laptop and cell phone charger from the living room, which are the only things of mine in the whole room. Looking around, I think I have all that I want and am so thankful to have this over with and without confrontation.
“I think we’re good,” I tell Parks.
“You sure?” he asks, and I contemplate my response. I want to make sure I don’t leave a speck of myself behind. Then I remember more of my clothes are in the spare bedroom’s closet, but it was mainly fancy shit. However, the thought of getting them is interrupted as Leo walks through the front door.
“What are you doing?” he asks me, looking between me and Parks. I sense Parks tense as I search for the answer, but before I can respond, he does it for me.
“What the fuck does it look like she’s doing, bro?”
“Don’t get in the middle of this, man.”
Leo takes a step toward me, and Parks stops him, body checking him, so he knows he’s dead serious.
“What? Are you gonna hit me?”
“Maybe, you need a fucking ass whooping.”
“Come on, Parks,” I tell him as I grab his arm. The two guys are staring at one another, and I can sense if we don’t leave now, it’s not going to end well. Screw my other clothes I don’t need them.
Parks lifts the suitcase he’s carrying with one hand not breaking eye contact with Leo and grabs my hand with his other one, leading me out of the house.
“Don’t fucking touch her!” Leo shouts, but Parks keeps his hand tight around mine, leading me away from him. I’m grateful for the security and protection he gives me. “Please don’t do this, Fallon,” Leo pleads. It’s useless, though. I get what he’s trying to do, and I won’t fall for his lies again. I’ve heard it all too many times.
“Please, baby!” he pleads again as he follows us outside.
“Just stop it! You’re pathetic, Leo!” I scold him as Parks tosses the bag into the bed of his white truck and then reaches for my door handle, opening it as he keeps Leo away from me. Thank God for Parks.
“You can’t leave me! I’ve been sick without you.” My skin crawls from his lies, causing my frustration to peak. I want to tell Leo he didn’t seem to miss me all that much when he was with that other woman, but Parks doesn’t let me say anything else.
He closes my door, keeping me safe from any more harm the way he always has my entire life. Then gets in Leo’s face. Jesus, this is the last thing in the world I wanted—the two of them yelling and arguing back and forth. Parks has always been my protector, he’d do anything for me, and I love that. It’s one of the reasons why I love him and depend on him so heavily. Our friendship is the most important thing in the world to me.
4
Parks
“You know no matter what you do, she’s never gonna be with you?” Leo says to me, and I find it hard not to laugh at him.
“Yeah, because she’s my best friend, dumbass.”
“I see what you’re doing here, bro.”
“You’re fucking delusional, man, you know that?”
I tower over him, and it takes every ounce of control I have not to snap his neck, he deserves it.
“You keep telling yourself that. She’ll come to her senses soon enough; she’s meant to be with me.”
“Not happening this time, bitch.”
“Who you calling a bitch, bitch?”
This guy’s a joke. He tries to shove me backward, but all it does is remind me of the time he put his hands on Fallon. I smirk at him. “I’ll give you one clean hit,” I tempt him by sticking my jaw out, wishing he would do it so I could lay him clean into the dirt.
“Nah, you’re not worth it.”
“It’s your only chance, if you’re so tough, do it.” I know if I were to hit him, he’d be out cold, seeing stars for a week.
“Fuck you.” He waves me off, not taking me up on my offer.
“I forgot you only like to put your hands on girls!” I say through gritted teeth, hoping it’ll piss him off, but he doesn’t budge. I bet the dumb fucker didn’t know she told me. He turns his back, and I spit at his feet. Turning away, Fallon’s eyes are all over me as I get in the truck.
I don’t look toward Leo again; I’m sure my words have his mind in a tailspin, thinking I didn’t know what he’d done.
“What did he say?” she asks, clearly not able to hear any of our argument.
“Nothing, just being a b
itch, like always.”
"I’m sorry you had to deal with him,” she says as I pull off and head toward my place. My palms are sweaty as I grip the steering wheel, and I have no idea how I stayed composed and didn’t hit that motherfucker square in the jaw.
“Don’t be sorry. I’m sorry for you. I don’t know what you ever saw in him.”
“He had his moments, but they were few and far between by the end.”
“I really don’t understand guys like Leo. It’s like they want what they can’t have. When he had you, he cheated on you. Now that he can’t have you, he’s fuckin’ sick without you? I’m not buying it, Fallon.”
“Me neither, so don’t worry . . . I’m never going back to him.”
“Good, that’s what I want to hear. So, what do you say we drop your stuff off and then do something fun to forget all about what happened?”
“Oh, like get my nails done?”
“Fuck, no. How is that even remotely fun?”
“You love pedicures, and you know it.”
“You may love them, but I don’t. You made me go one time, and it freaked me out.”
“Okay,” she says in a mocking tone, and I shake my head.
“You know what? Maybe I don’t want to hang out with you today after all,” I tease her.
“Fine, I have to get my nails done anyway.”
Once we have all her stuff inside, she sits on the bed in the guest room and plugs her cell phone charger into the wall. I watch her, and I don’t think she has a clue how fucking beautiful she is. I swallow, letting my eyes scan her body while she focuses on her phone.
“You’re staring,” she accuses me, glancing in my direction.
“No, I’m not!” Biggest fucking lie of my life.