by LK Collins
“Good morning, ma’am,” The man says as the boys inspect his other drawings.
“Hi,” I tell him.
“Did you draw all these by yourself?” Braxley asks, “They’re so cool.”
“Yes, I did. Would you and your brother like one done.”
They nod frantically, not even noticing the man called them brothers. I chuckle as they take a seat together basically on one chair and the man looks at me for reassurance.
“Would you like to be in the picture too?”
I shake my head, but the boys call me over to them. “Come on, Mom!” Braxley hollers and the man says, “Yeah, come on, Mom.”
I smile, taking a seat on the other chair, the three of us squeezing in, and I hope Thane likes this gift. I really want to do something nice for him after he’s been so generous. Flying us here and paying for everything and never complaining one bit.
As I sit with the boys, I can only imagine how silly this is gonna look. But…that’s what it’s about after all, right? Being here in this place, it’s like being a kid again, and if Thane has shown me one thing, it’s to be myself.
“Dad’s gonna love this!” Jack says, looking down at the framed picture of him, Braxley, and I as we walk back down the hall towards the hotel room.
“It did turn out pretty cool.”
I check my phone and don’t see any messages from Thane. He must still be passed out. “Ready to surprise him?” I ask and slip the key into the door. It turns green, and as I turn the handle, we quietly walk towards the bedroom where we find Thane still sleeping. The room is dark, and the boys yell, “Wake up!” He sits right up, then falls back when he sees us, and I open the curtains.
“Is it morning already?” he asks, pulling the covers up and over his face. Jack and Braxley, kick off their shoes and climb in bed with Thane. They are like two little monkeys. Jack almost hits Thane in the face with the huge picture, and I take it in my hand, helping him hold on to it as I say, “It’s time to wake up, sleepyhead.”
Thane hears my voice and peers out at me. I set his Chai Tea Latte on the nightstand that I grabbed on the way back. But it’s not enough, he burrows back under the covers, and the boys rock back and forth on the bed trying to wake him.
“We got you a present!” Jack says in his cute voice, and that gets Thane’s attention. His tired eyes blink a few times, and then he looks at the picture in front of him that I’m holding up
“Is this it?” he asks, and they nod together.
“Wow! I love it. Now let me guess. This is you, Braxley?” And he points to me on the paper. I sit on the bed next to Thane, and he wraps his arm around me. Braxley tells him, “No, that’s Mommy!”
“Now I see it; it is Mommy. Doesn’t she look pretty?” They agree and I watch Thane look at the picture, the smile on his face is clear—this was the perfect gift—he loves it.
31
Thane
“All right, this is our last day in Disneyland. What do you guys want to do?” I ask the boys as they are playing a game on my phone together while we ride the tram up to the park entrance.
“We gotta ride Toy Story!” Jack says.
“Yeah, like ten times,” Braxley agrees.
“Okay, what else?”
“Soarin’!” they yell together, and I glance at Faye, wondering if we’re gonna be able to get her on it today.
“No way,” she says. “I’ll get sick; I can’t do simulators.”
“Please, Mommy,” Braxley begs her, and I stick out my bottom lip and say the same thing. “Yeah, please, Mommy.”
She rolls her eyes and swats me on the arm. “Did you guys see that? She hit me,” I exclaim, and the boys begin to tickle Faye.
“Stop!” she hollers, but they don’t give up.
“Say you’ll ride it and they’ll stop.” She laughs so loudly, the other people around us are staring, but we don’t care. We came here to have fun, and that is what we are doing.
“Okay! Okay! I’ll ride it.”
“Yes!” The boys high-five one another, and I wink at Faye as she rubs her side where they just tickled her. “You like my bodyguards?” I ask her, and she sticks her tongue out at me.
The tram comes to a stop, and we get off. Walking towards the park entrance, I nuzzle Faye’s neck, kissing her softly. “We’re in Disneyland, Mama,” Jack says, and I glance over to see him talking on my phone.
Motherfucker!
Char must’ve called him, and he answered it on his own. “Here, she wants to talk to you.” He passes me the phone, and I press mute. “Go ahead. I’ll catch up,” I tell them. Faye takes both of their hands, knowing if I’m asking them to go that something is wrong. And the second I bring the phone to my ear, I hear Char yelling, “Thane! Thane!”
“Yeah, what’s up? I’m here.”
“For Christ’s sake, are you really in Disneyland?”
“Yeah, why?”
“That’s why you’ve been ignoring my texts. You can’t take him out of the state without my consent! What are you thinking?”
“Don’t patronize me, Char. The judge gave me primary custody for a reason. He’s safe and having the time of his life.”
“That doesn’t matter. It’s part of the custody agreement. You should’ve told me.”
“It really didn’t even cross my mind.”
“But lying and saying he had a birthday party did?”
“I knew you would say no if you knew we were going with Faye and her son!”
“Damn straight I would. I don’t even know her, and you have her watching my son. I could call the cops right now and say you kidnapped him. They’d put out an Amber alert.”
“Holy fuck, Charlene! Calm down!” I rake my hand through my hair, pacing. “There’s no reason for you to even be thinking that. He’s safe with me, and we’ll be home tonight.”
“I want to see him as soon as you’re home.”
“No way, it’ll be late, plus he has school tomorrow. Why don’t you just go shopping or something? I just paid your Amex card so you should be good, it’ll make you feel better and forget about all this!”
“Goddammit, Thane! Why would you say that? Can’t you see I’m trying here?”
“Because it’s the truth. Don’t you get it? You chose shopping over Jack and me; you were a terrible fucking wife, so why wouldn’t you turn to that now?”
“Fuck you! I’m calling the cops!”
“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, you’re right, I should’ve told you.” I tuck my tail between my legs, not wanting to, but knowing it’s for the best interests of my son.
“Yeah, you should’ve,” she screams.
“I know, I’m sorry again. I’ll have him call you as soon as we land.”
We hang up, and I look up to the sky, wondering how I got so unlucky when it came to Jack’s mother. If only Faye could be his mom, things would be so much easier. But I know if that were the case, he wouldn’t be Jack, he’d be someone different, and as much as I despise Char, I would never change a thing about Jack.
Sticking my phone into my pocket, I spot Faye and the boys waiting for me outside of the park entrance.
I walk up to them, and Faye says, “Jack can’t get in without your fingerprint.”
“Dang, sorry, I forgot.”
“Is Mama okay?”
“Yeah, buddy, she’s great. She was just making plans for this weekend with you.”
Once we’re in the park, the boys get in line for a ride, and Faye and I wait for them outside. “What happened?” she asks me.
“I…I didn’t exactly tell her we were coming here.”
“Why not?”
“Because I knew she’d freak out, just like she did.” Then I fill her in on our entire conversation, and she says to me. “I get it, Thane, but you have to keep her in the loop, especially with this kind of stuff. Even as much of a pain in the ass as she is.”
“But she would’ve said no!”
“Maybe she would’ve or maybe not? B
ut if you don’t ask, how do you know? What if she took him out of state, how would you feel?”
“I’d fuckin’ kill her.”
“Exactly. I’m on your side here, babe, I really am, but…you have to keep her informed when it comes to him.”
I kick a stray rock and Faye pulls me into a hug. Wrapping my arms around her, I hold her close, thankful to be here with her and to have her on my side. Minus Jack, she’s really all I need. But she is right; I do need to keep Char in the loop on things even if I don’t want to, it’s the right thing to do.
32
Faye
“Oh my God,” Thane says looking at the picture of me on Space Mountain from the first day. We just picked up all of our photos, and I don’t think it’s that bad, is it?
“You look petrified!”
“I was,” I tell him and can hear the boys wrestling in their room.
“Well, regardless, you’re still beautiful.”
“Oh please.”
“What? It’s the truth,” he says and kisses my cheek. I glance at the clock and know we need to get heading out, even though I don’t want to. “Boys, you ready?” I call out, and Thane says to me, “Do we have to go?”
“I know, I don’t want to either, but we have to.”
“It’s so perfect being here, with our own room and this bed.”
And it has been amazing. I’ve loved our time here so much and will always cherish it. As nervous as I was to come here, with this being on Ben’s bucket list, that didn’t seem to come into play. We made the trip all our own, just the four of us, and deep down inside of me, I know Ben watched over and is proud of every step I’ve taken towards healing. Looking back, those steps would not be possible without Thane. He’s so patient and loving and shown me it’s okay to be myself, to love again in my own time. And that is exactly what’s happening; I’m falling in love with Thane, and Jack too. And there is no stopping it, I’m on a one-way track looking forward and hope to never go back to my dark, painful days.
“Let’s just stay at your house,” I tell Thane as we drive away from the airport in Seattle. It’s closest, and the boys are passed out.
Thankfully, the flight was smooth again, this time my prior anxiety had vanished. Thane was right, all I needed was to fly under the control of a capable pilot, and that is exactly what Thane is…very capable.
“You sure?” he asks me.
“Yeah, Braxley has clothes for school, and I could use a good night’s rest in your bed.”
“You should get a new bed,” he tells me, and I know I should. I should do a lot of things, but some of the things I have to face in the future are scary and will push my limits, and right now I’m in such a good place, I don’t want that to happen. I don’t want to go back; I want to let the past go and focus only on the future, my future with Thane.
“One day, I’ll handle everything I still need to.”
“And until then, you could just move in with me? You have to admit our time was perfect, from the boys to us, we are all meant to be together. So why don’t we stop carting them around and live together?”
I think about his offer and know he’s right. I know I can’t have them move into my home, it would be wrong.
“So it’s settled?” I ask.
“Absolutely, so it’s settled!”
And I guess it is. As we pull up to his house, we both glance back at the boys. They are out cold, which is to be expected—we did stay in California longer than we’d planned. But it’s hard to leave when you’re having the time of your life.
I unstrap Braxley, and he takes Jack, then we head inside his home and lay them down in Jack’s bed. Neither of them moves a muscle as I cover them up and we close the door to Jack’s room.
“They’re so cute,” I tell Thane, and before he can respond, we’re both startled by a shadow across his house. He flips a light on to expose Charlene sitting on his sofa.
“What the fuck are you doing here in the dark, crazy?!” he asks her angrily and she looks at the way he’s protectively holding me behind him.
“You know, I was minutes away from calling the cops, Thane. It’s goddam one in the morning.”
“And I’m seconds away from calling the cops. You can’t come in here like this. I told you that already.”
I can see the despair in her eyes. She’s scared for the safety of her son, and I get that. With her and Thane separating and her giving up her shopping addiction, Jack’s all she’s got.
“You promised me you’d call when you landed. I’ve been calling you for hours, and your phone is off. What did you expect?”
“Not for you to be in my house,” Thane says, pissed, and I don’t want them to fight. I want to help settle things between the two of them.
“Just calm down,” I tell them both and walk up to Char, who has a disgusted look smeared across her face.
“Don’t tell me to calm down,” she snickers.
“I’m not trying to cause problems,” I tell her.
“But you are. You’re with my son more that I am and I don’t even know you.”
“Then get to know me. My name is Faye. It’s nice to see you again,” I tell her and outstretch my hand in a friendly gesture. She stares at it like I’ve got the plague, but I don’t falter, I wait for her to take it. I know this isn’t going to be easy, but I’m in this for the long haul with Thane, and part of that means getting to know his ex.
And finally, to my surprise, she delicately takes my hand in hers as tears gloss over her blue eyes. “Nice to meet you,” she stutters.
Thane is silent, and I ask her, “Would you like to have a glass of wine and talk?”
“No, I should go, I just needed to make sure my son was okay.”
“I think you should stay.”
In the kitchen, I can hear Thane getting the wine, and I direct her to sit on the sofa. She places her hands on top of her lap and asks me, “Why are you being so nice to me?”
“Because I know how much that little boy means to you.”
“He’s everything to me,” she says, and Thane hands us each a glass of wine. I set mine down, making sure I stay clear and level-headed. She takes a sip, the tears in her eyes slowly dissipating.
“I know—he’s amazing.”
Thane sits in the chair across from us, propping his feet up on the coffee table as he swigs his beer. I give him a quick glance, and he returns my gesture with a wink.
“I’m sorry we were late, it’s my fault.”
“No, don’t be. I was just nervous that’s all.” She’s warming up to me already, her breathing is slowing, and I can tell by just sitting here that she’s going to be okay with things.
“Char, I want you to know I’m not here to take your place. Jack loves you so much, and nothing will ever change that. But with Thane and I together, that means the three of us have to learn how to cohesively work together. Thane?” I call out to him, and he looks like he’s in a trance. “That means you have to keep Char in the loop when it comes to Jack.”
“I’ll do a better job, but Char, I’m still worried that you’re going to go back to your old ways.”
“Will you stop saying that and please just give me a chance? This time it’s different, our little boy was hurt because I was so wrapped up in a stupid shopping habit. I won’t go back to that place, no matter what, I promise you.”
As I observe the two of them talk, I don’t think they realize how lucky they are to have one another to lean on for Jack. I don’t have Ben anymore. If I did, even if we were divorced, I’d do everything in my power to respect him. Losing him has given me an entirely different perspective on so many things.
“Okay,” he agrees with her, and I hope he will give her a chance. I don’t know Char from Adam, but the one thing I do know is a mother’s love is powerful, and when your child’s existence is put into jeopardy, everything does change. It happened with me when I lost Ben. I was so scared I would fail raising Braxley or even lose him too. It caused me
to become obsessed, but I quickly found out, it’s not healthy or a good way to live. I know better than anyone that each day is not guaranteed, all we have is each moment—each breath—and now I cherish my life more than ever.
33
Thane
“Jesus Christ, you’re amazing,” I tell Faye, pumping my cock in and out of her pussy.
She moans in response, so sexily. Her body is stretched along my bed, and I hope from now on, I’ll have her in it every night.
We’ve been going at it for what feels like hours now. It’s past three in the morning and sweat is dripping off my body, but I can’t stop. I love everything about this woman. Then the words fall from my lips, “I love you!” and the second I tell her, she responds back through a trembled breath, her body letting go at the same time she speaks. “I love you.”
Hearing those three little words come from her lips, sends me on a wild ride and I lift her tight body in my hands, holding her by her ass as I fuck her, pulling another orgasm from her.
I don’t think I can come again, but as she pinches her tits with one hand, looking up at me as she rubs her pussy with the other, like I’ve showed her I like, my body spasms, and I grunt loudly, coming inside her.
As our bodies settle, I set her down and fall to her side. My cock is still hard; it’s what she does to me—I could really go, again and again, all night long.
With my head on her shoulder, she holds me, running her fingers through my sweaty hair.
“Are you okay with everything?” I whisper worried that I spoke the words too soon, but her response tells me that’s a pointless worry.
“I’ve never been better, Thane.”
“Good, me either.” As I lie with her, she is still running her hand through my hair. My eyes are heavy, my body spent from so much fucking, and I close my eyes, sleep quickly taking over.
Waking up, the sun is shining through my bedroom window. I reach next to me for Faye, but she’s not in bed. Rubbing my eyes, I can hear the boys laughing in the other room, so I know she’s up with them.