“You mean to say that you tend to the sick?”
Victoria nodded. “I also foster relations with the undertaker.”
Fin squinted at her, shaking his head, as if he didn’t know who she was anymore. “How did I miss all of this? I thought you were just being rebellious, running off without a word at the balls and parties, thumbing your nose at your parents. I never imagined…”
Silence fell between them and Victoria wondered how this changed his opinion of her. Would it alter their relationship forever? And would that alteration be good or bad?
“I am thumbing my nose at parents,” she said quietly, picking absently at the threads of her counterpane. “Mother always referred to the lower classes as degenerates and thieves, but I knew they were just people who either didn’t know any better or were just down on their luck. I wanted to help, to make a difference in some way, but Mother would never let me. I tried to encourage her to hold a charity event, but she wondered why we would fundraise for those people. That’s when I realized I would have to raise funds another way.”
“And so you prey on the richest?”
“Not necessarily.” She gave him a sheepish grin. “I prey on the most uncharitable, of both heart and money.”
“Then you were smart to choose Lady Beecham, for I can’t think of a better candidate, according to your criteria.”
Victoria gave him a smile. “Then you approve of my methods?”
“Not in the slightest.” Fin’s expression turned grave once again. “Victoria, I…I worry for you.” He let out a loud sigh as if it was a difficult thing for him to say.
“That is not so surprising. We’re friends, aren’t we? You wouldn’t be a very good friend if you didn’t worry for my safety under the circumstances. But—”
“You are more to me than a friend!” he blurted out, and Victoria startled a bit.
“Well, no, I suppose you think of me more like a sister—”
“That’s not it.”
Silence. Long, interminable silence.
And then Fin gathered his jacket hastily and walked to the door.
“Wait!” Victoria called after him. She had to know what he meant.
Fin stopped with his hand on the doorknob, but didn’t turn to look at her. “It is most inappropriate for me to be here right now. I hope you feel better soon.”
***
Fin felt terrible for how he left things with Victoria. A cryptic declaration of love, followed by a quick escape. Not his finest moment. But if he’d stayed a moment longer, he would have grabbed her pale, sickly face in his hands and kissed her senseless.
How ridiculous. He had nearly risked catching her illness for a damned kiss. From his lifelong friend. What was the matter with him? Surely he wasn’t in his right mind.
On the short walk from Victoria’s home to his own, he could hear all sorts of squeals and shouts coming from within. What the hell? He pushed through the front door. The noises were coming from upstairs. He followed the sound to the door at the end of the second floor corridor and knocked.
“Is everything all right in there?” he called through the door.
“She’s trying to drown me, sir!” came Sally’s panicked voice.
“Oh, for heaven’s sake!” His housekeeper, Mrs. Boyle, let out an exasperated sigh. “I’m doing no such thing, child. Hasn’t anyone ever given you a bath?”
“Not like this!”
Fin tried not to laugh, but the scenario was just too amusing. Although, on the other hand, it was quite sad the girl had never been given a proper bath.
“Sally,” he called through the door. “I promise Mrs. Boyle won’t let you drown. And if you’re a good girl for her, I’ll…” What did little girls like that could be used as a bribe? “I’ll take you for a chocolate ice,” he finished, proud of his quick thinking.
There was a beat of silence and then her little voice asked, “Promise?”
Fin smiled. “I promise.”
A half hour later, a child that Fin didn’t recognize walked into the drawing room. Her blonde hair, formerly matted and tangled, was now shiny and clean, pulled together at her nape with a blue satin bow. Her skin was no longer gray with filth, but a milky white. Her clothing, however, left quite a bit to be desired.
“How would you like to go shopping today, Sally?” Fin asked her.
“Will I still get to eat a chocolate ice? I’ve never had one before.”
“Of course. Come, let’s go.”
Fin could not have foreseen how much fun he would have shopping with a nine-year-old girl. But her excitement was infectious. She’d never had new clothes before, let alone a pretty dress. Now she had seven, one for each day of the week. And ribbons to match. New boots and slippers, a nightgown, and the kind girl at the modiste had seen to any undergarments the child might need while Fin waited in the reception area.
Sally could hardly keep her eyes open by the time they made it to Gunter’s for the chocolate ice, but she seemed to enjoy it anyhow. Fin chose the maple ice for himself, thinking of how much Victoria hated that particular flavor. She always wrinkled her nose at him whenever they ate their ices together in Berkeley Square, claiming lavender to be the superior flavor.
Fin pushed his thoughts of Victoria from his mind. He would think of what to do about her later, when he’d had a chance to rest and clear his mind. In the meantime, he needed to get Sally home and check in on Caroline. With any luck, her condition would see improvement soon.
Seventeen
Victoria watched Caroline’s coffin as it was lowered into the ground and swiped a single tear from her cheek. Sally clung to Fin, sobbing. It was strange to see Fin with a child attached to him, but at the same time, it seemed the most natural thing in the world. Clearly, he’d done a wonderful job taking care of Sally since he’d brought her to his home. She was hardly recognizable now in her pretty new dress, despite the fact it was a dark charcoal—a color Victoria hated to see on children.
The minister came to the end of the service, commending Caroline’s soul to heaven, and then the three of them threw roses onto the coffin. What was to become of the child now that her mother was gone? Would Fin take responsibility for her, or would he ship her off to a distant family member? She wished she could take her to her own home, but her parents would never allow it. Her mother had already asked a million times who “that little girl” coming and going from Lord Leyburn’s home was. Since Victoria hadn’t left the house and therefore should not have been privy to such information, she simply responded with a vague, “Perhaps she is his ward. But how should I know?”
The news of Caroline’s passing came nearly two weeks after Victoria had fallen ill, but by that time, she was nearly well enough to return to her normal activities. Well, abnormal activities would be more apt, she supposed. Either way, she was glad she was well enough to attend the small service. She’d never known Caroline really, but she was certain she’d been a lovely woman. It was a shame she wouldn’t get to see her daughter grow into the bright young woman she was destined to be.
Victoria accompanied Fin and Sally into Fin’s home and waited while he handed the child off to his housekeeper so she could get her some warm milk and something to eat.
“What will you do with her now?” Victoria asked, once Sally was out of earshot.
Fin sighed. Clearly it weighed heavily on him that he’d not been able to rehabilitate Caroline. It weighed heavily on Victoria, too. But they’d done everything they could.
“I’ve attempted to find any kin she might have, but I’ve come up empty handed.”
“You mean there’s no one? A cousin? An aunt or uncle perhaps?”
Fin hesitated. “Well, there is someone. I paid a visit to a woman who claims to be a great aunt to Sally. She lives in Surrey, but frankly, I wouldn’t even give that woman a dog I didn’t like. Wretched human being.”
“Oh,” Victoria said, waiting for him to state his plans.
Finally, he looked up at Vi
ctoria with a wry half smile. “I’m going to keep her,” he said. “After visiting the wretched great aunt, I stopped at my solicitor’s on the way home and had him start drawing up the paperwork to become her legal guardian.”
Victoria’s heart swelled. She couldn’t quite believe what she was hearing. How had she overlooked his generous spirit in the past?
Moved by his actions, she grabbed his hand and stepped toward him. Without hesitating she rose up on her tiptoes and pressed her lips to his. It was a simple kiss, a kiss of gratitude. But nonetheless, it sent a jolt of awareness straight to her belly. It scared her and she jumped away from him, but he held tightly to her hand.
“What was that for?” he asked, a wide smile lighting up his face.
Victoria tried to shrug, but it came off more like a twitch. She felt rather awkward in her own skin just now. “Just to say…thank you, that’s all.”
“Vickie, you’ve thanked me plenty of times in the past and it never involved a kiss.”
Her heart raced and her pulse jumped in the veins in her neck. She choked out a laugh. “Don’t fancy yourself, Finny. I certainly didn’t mean anything by it.”
“No?” The way he gazed at her made her palms go all sweaty, which was rather embarrassing since he still held one of her hands in his.
She shook her head, trying to break his spell, but it wasn’t working. Oh, goodness. This wasn’t right. As a matter of fact it was entirely wrong. She and Fin were like brother and sister. To even think there was a hint of romance between them was foolish. Completely and utterly foolish.
Then why on earth was he bending toward her? Good heavens, he meant to kiss her again. And by God, she was going to let him.
A loud “Ahem!” startled them both, and they stepped away from one another, both muttering nonsense as they did.
“Simmons? Do you need something,” Fin asked his butler.
“I’m afraid the little girl is in need of some…er, comfort, sir,” Simmons replied. Clearly he did not care to be the comforter.
“Oh, yes. Yes, of course she does. I’ll be there straightaway.”
Simmons left and silence descended on the little foyer. Fin stared at the floor, his brow furrowed. Victoria waited. Clearly he had something he wanted to say to her, and part of her was terribly curious. But when he opened his mouth to speak, she decided she didn’t want to know after all.
“Well,” she exclaimed. “It sounds as if you are needed elsewhere, so I’ll just be on my way.”
“Victoria—”
“Please give Sally my love, and tell her I’ll come to see her tomorrow.”
“But—”
“Good day, Fin!”
She slammed the door behind her and then stood on the stoop for a moment to collect herself. Her heart was racing, and her mouth was drier than cotton. She couldn’t explain what was happening, but she didn’t like it. Not one bit.
***
Much to Victoria’s dismay, she knew exactly what was happening to her. After three sleepless nights where she lay awake daydreaming about Fin, she knew that there was only one explanation. But she refused to admit to herself that she might be falling for Fin. To fall in love with him would be disastrous for several reasons.
Reason One: his involvement in her life would become far too prevalent, and it was difficult enough to evade him already. Especially since he knew everything. But she couldn’t let him be a party to any of it. It was too dangerous.
Reason Two: it would just plain turn her world upside down. They’d known each other since birth. They were the best of friends. If she were to lose that, she’d be devastated.
Reason Three:
Well, she couldn’t think of a third reason, but one and two were plenty. She absolutely, positively could not fall in love with Phineas Dartwell, no matter how his eyes sparkled whenever he looked at her now. Or how delectable his kiss had been. Or how she ached to feel his hands about her waist, and his chest pressed to hers—
She shook her head. Good heavens, this just wouldn’t do. She needed to get her mind off of Fin, and she wouldn’t be able to do that if she sat here, staring out her window at his house all day.
It had been far too long since she’d been to the hospital, so she made up her mind to pay a visit that afternoon. Now that she was well, Mother surely wouldn’t suspect anything out of the ordinary if she said she was going to see Lady Hartswell. The real challenge would be getting past Fin’s house. He and Sally spent much of their time in the front parlor, the one that looked out onto the street, from which they could see Victoria’s comings and goings. If only she could go the opposite direction, but then her own mother might notice. And since Lady Hartswell was in that direction, past Fin’s, she would surely have to make up some excuse, and her lies would begin to go even deeper. She felt as if she were drowning in them as it was. She would just have to take her chances with Fin.
By the time luncheon was over, Victoria was itching to go. But her mother insisted she receive callers with her that afternoon, so she would have to wait to go to the hospital. Unfortunately, a rather unwelcomed caller descended upon their home that afternoon. One Mr. Woodmore.
Lady Grantham was thrilled to see him, of course. He was the only eligible gentleman who had come their way since Victoria’s recovery. So she batted her eyelashes at him and doted on him, insisting Cook prepare him some of her famous lemon cake. And really, the cake was delicious, but Victoria had no desire to eat it in Woodmore’s company.
It wasn’t that she didn’t like the man, she just felt incredibly uncomfortable around him after what had happened. What if he somehow figured out it had been her that night in Westminster? And furthermore, if she wasn’t going to let Fin court her, she certainly wasn’t going to allow Woodmore to do so.
“Miss Barclay, I am so glad to see you’re feeling better,” Woodmore said, his eyes filled with concern as he daintily placed a small piece of cake on his tongue.
“Yes, well, I’m just glad to be able to go outside again.”
“Ah, of course. The weather has been splendid, hasn’t it?”
Victoria nodded. Could the conversation possibly get any more tedious? Not likely.
“Perhaps the two of you would like to take a walk through the gardens?” This came from Victoria’s mother, whose normally stern expression was now one of hopefulness.
Victoria should have been hurt by her mother’s desperation to marry her of and get her out of the house, but she was used to it by now. And the last thing she wanted to do was take a walk with Woodmore through the gardens. What if Fin saw them? Would he think something was going on between them? She didn’t want to be with him, but neither did she want him to think she cared for anyone else.
Damn, but this was a conundrum.
However, there was nothing to be done about it now. She couldn’t very well say no.
“A walk would be lovely.”
Once they were outside, Victoria led the way, choosing a brisk pace to get them to the far side of the garden, where it was less likely Fin would be able to see them from his house.
“Slow down,” Woodmore encouraged with a slight chortle. “I would like to have a chance to enjoy the flowers.”
“Do forgive me, Mr. Woodmore. I always go straight to the same spot in the garden. It’s where we have my favorite of all the flora.”
“But look here at these hydrangeas. Stunning colors, don’t you think?”
Victoria fidgeted with the ribbons on her dress. “I suppose they are stunning…in a way.”
Woodmore looked up at her. “Are you quite all right, Miss Barclay?” he asked. “You seem rather nervous about something.” He took a step closer to her and lowered his voice. “Do I make you nervous, Miss Barclay?”
Victoria resisted the urge to laugh in his face. Good heavens, he was trying to sound seductive. But why did it come across so false to her?
“Er…no,” she said. “It’s simply in my nature to fidget. Ask my mother.” She smiled widely a
s she surreptitiously took a few steps backward. “Shall we continue our walk?”
She turned and scurried along, not waiting to see if Woodmore was put out at all by her flippancy. She didn’t really care one way or the other. All she really cared about was getting this visit over with as soon as was humanly possible.
Eighteen
Fin watched Victoria and Woodmore walk through the garden from his second story window. He hid just behind the curtain so that even if they did look up, they wouldn’t see him. At least, he hoped they wouldn’t. He hadn’t really tested that theory.
At any rate, Victoria was far too nervous and distracted to notice much of anything. Clearly she was trying to get rid of the man, and why wouldn’t she be? No one would be comfortable spending time with someone they’d recently tried to rob.
But that was what had Fin worried this afternoon. What was Woodmore playing at? Though the man might look for a wife for the sake of keeping up appearances, a man like him certainly wouldn’t go after a woman like Victoria. She was far too passionate a specimen. Whoever took her as wife would have to be devoted. Faithful. Fin was certain his lifelong friend would not overlook indiscretions, especially the kind Woodmore would engage in.
So it begged the question: what was he doing calling on Victoria?
When they moved to the other side of the garden, Fin left his post at the window. Good God, had he really become so desperate to see Victoria that he had resorted to spying on her?
No, it was simply out of concern that he watched her. From behind a curtain.
Never mind all that, he would see her tonight at the Gilbert masquerade. Right now, he was supposed to be having tea with Sally. They’d made a habit of it ever since Caroline had passed away. The child needed normalcy in her life, something she could count on every day without fail. And today, Fin had something special to tell her.
She was waiting for him in the front parlor. Her blonde curls had been swept up on top of her head, held together by a giant blue bow. The bow matched her dress, which was a blue and white stripe, complete with lace trimmings and a sash. He shuddered to think what would have happened to the girl had Victoria not discovered her in Southwark that day. Where would she be with no mother and no one to care for her? It tore at his heart, but he put on a bright smile for her as he entered the room.
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