Case of the Hot Dog

by Erik Schubach

  I appreciated her being so open, and I recognized this whole afternoon was her making an effort to be friends with someone she felt was important to Jane. The girl had depth I wouldn't have imagined.

  It was when she wanted to give me tips as to what Detective McLeary liked in bed that I covered my ears, “La la la, I can't hear you!”

  This got her giggling. “You mean you two haven't done the nasty yet?”

  My cheeks were burning. “It isn't like that. I... we... I don't know what we are.” I admitted, “I...

  want to find out, but she...”

  She exhaled, nodding in understanding and looking sympathetic. “Jane is holding back. Wanting to know it's real? She's her own worst enemy sometimes.”

  I looked at Calvin then my feet and said in a small voice, “I'm not real comfortable talking about my relation...”

  She ignored me and said as she looked me up and down. “As adorable as your endless supply of dresses are if you really want to get her motor running, she has a weakness for tight jeans. Drop by the shop sometime, and we'll get you an outfit that would be Jane candy.”

  “La la la, not listening.” I found myself biting my lower lip and stopped before she saw me actually contemplating it. Jane had liked it a couple of times I wore the one set of jeans I own.

  She then said a little more seriously, “Just don't let Jane bring you to any lesbian bars, baby gays are irresistible, they'd eat you up there.”

  I was about to counter that I wasn't gay. Yet here I was frustrated that Jane wasn't taking our... odd relationship into the physical. So yup, I be gay.

  I heard myself asking, “Baby gay?”

  She smiled almost wickedly and prompted, “Don't ask questions you're not ready for the answer to.”

  Why were my cheeks burning?

  By the time we picked up an excited Oscar and got back to my place, we saw Jane heading into the building as we pulled up. I smiled as I uttered, “Perfect timing.” Then I looked at Jess. “Stay for dinner?”

  She shook her head as she wedged the car into a space right up front I would have sworn was too small for her car. “As tempting as it sounds...” She smiled slyly. “I – have a date tonight. But I will go up to say hello to our girl.” It was sort of adorable how her cheeks reddened at the word date. I was beyond curious now who had caught her eye enough for her to call it a date, but knew better than to ask.

  The last time I asked if she was dating anyone yet, she told me about about a girl she picked up at a bar who, “I had her on her back, legs splayed in the air and screaming my name before the sheets even settled.” I couldn't cover my ears and cross my legs fast enough. I mean, who shares that much detail with someone like that? The smirk on Jessie's face as she watched my reaction had me wondering if it had been true or if she was just messing with me for the shock value.

  I slid out with the dogs on their leashes. I needed to find out if Jane knew how to contact Oscar's family. I was really going to be sad to see the little guy go. Jess joined us at the door as we went in.

  I checked the door once we got upstairs, and it was unlocked... Jane never locked it when she was alone. That would freak me out, but then again, I didn't have her confidence and the ability to back that confidence up. Or the police issue sidearm.

  We stepped in, and I dropped the leashes, calling out, “Jane, we're home,” when I didn't see her in the main room.

  She popped her head out her bedroom door as the two dogs ran to her, tails swishing, leashes dragging. She had a smile on her face as she asked, “We?” Then she got a little shy when she saw Jess was with me. Her eyes never left us as she crouched, giving both dogs some loving as she absently helped them out of their harnesses.

  Her eyes were going between Jess and me, and I subconsciously took a half step away from the redheaded bombshell. She asked as she stood and walked past us to hang the leashes on their appropriate hooks, “You staying for dinner, Jess?”

  I answered as the two just stared at each other as Jane moved off a few steps, looking between her and the kitchen where the succulent aroma of simmering pot roast emanated from. “MJ says she can't

  join us.”

  Said Mable-type-person growled at me, causing me to smile.

  Jane cocked an eyebrow at my nickname for her ex, like she couldn't believe Jess had shared her first name with me. Technically, she hadn't. And when she looked between the two of us again with a tinge of jealousy, Jessie made an exasperated sound and said to me with a growl, “I gotta get going hot stuff.”

  I started to cock an eyebrow at her but found my eyes widening in shock as the woman kissed me...

  on the lips. I let out a squeaky, dreamy sigh as she stepped back to the door. “Bye ladies, catch you on the flip side.” I found myself waving in a daze, and she was gone.

  What just happened? I touched my lips and looked at Jane, who had a hurt and accusing look on her face. What? No! I babbled, “I... she... no...” My cell buzzed as Jane glared, I pulled it out and glanced down at it in my panic, glad for any distraction from whatever was going on.

  My eyes widened even more, it was from Jess. “Sorry about the kiss. Jane was looking like a jealous twit, so I was just messing with her.”

  I looked from it to her as I relaxed some, but still panicky enough to feel like I didn't know what I should be doing. I was acutely aware of the magazines on the coffee table in the sitting area, they weren't organized well... I could straighten them. I passed her my cell to look at as I walked past.

  Then I heard her snort behind me, calling out in an amused tone. “Fin. Stop. The living room looks fine.”

  I turned back to her and tried to explain, “I didn't...”

  She just nodded, and I felt anxiety flowing away.

  She held the phone up. “She played me like a fiddle. She was always good at that.”

  Then she asked as she stepped up to pull me to her in a hug, my hands resting on her hips and my forehead on her breastbone as I took in her scent, “Good kisser though, ain't she?”

  My cheeks burned, she really was, because to my embarrassment, it was sort of arousing once I got past the shock of it. I touched my lips then muttered as I pushed her away and went to the kitchen to start prepping dinner, “I hate you both.”

  I saw her smug teasing look as she joined me and I warned, “Don't even tease about it!”

  She kept approaching me, and I found myself backpedaling until my back pressed up against the refrigerator door. It was really heating up in the apartment just then.

  I swallowed as she leaned in, anticipation burning through me and waking up all my most interesting bits, electricity buzzing through me like a warm drug. But her short black hair just brushed my shoulder and cheek, causing me to shudder as she reached up to put her weapon in the cabinet

  above the refrigerator that I couldn't reach. And her heat pressing into me was gone as she moved to the slow cooker. I whispered to myself, voice cracking, “Personal space.”

  She prompted, “I'm famished. It smells good. Shall we eat?”

  I took in a shaky breath then swallowed. Good god, she was going to kill me doing things like that, and she had to know what she was doing to me, didn't she? “O... ok.”

  Chapter 4 – Doxy 2716

  After a nice pot roast dinner where she convinced me to be a rebel and eat on the couch with her, we settled in for the night. Oscar took advantage of his diminutive size to curl up on my lap. Any awkwardness during dinner evaporated when she picked up a file off the coffee table then held an arm up, inviting.

  I swiveled and laid back as I turned on the television, I tried not to sigh at just how comfortable her lap was. Best pillow ever. I murmured, “I'll have to take the boys out for one last walk tonight, don't let me doze off?”

  She just smiled and nodded as she started looking at one of her cases, one hand lazily draping down to run her fingers through my hair. It felt so sinfully good that I'd gladly scream her name if she just kept it up.

/>   I asked offhandedly, “Do you have the contact information for the woman's next of kin? I bet they are worried sick about Oscar.”

  She moved the file up out of my view and smirked down at me. “You know you shouldn't be reading my files.”

  I blinked in surprise. “Is that Oscar's mom's file?” I closed my eyes as she kept running her fingers through my hair, massaging my scalp like a pro. Mmmm...

  Jane hmmed and said, “Dunno, let's see. I haven't had a chance to look the case over since Graves dropped it on my desk before I left for the day. You and your lawyer's antics upset the old sourpuss, and he is taking it out on me by adding the case to my workload. Thanks for that, pipsqueak.”

  I grumped out in my defense, “Hey, you storm troopers arrested me again.”

  She countered with a smirk. “Technically, you weren't under arrest.”

  I shot back, an eyebrow cocked in challenge, “The doom troopers read me my rights.”

  She shrugged like it was of no consequence. “There is that I suppose. They were just jumping the gun a little. I mean, you do look threatening with those hearts all over your dress like that.”

  I blushed and whined out with a smile, my lips pouty, “You bought it for me.”

  Jane softened, looking away from the file, and said with genuine warmth that had my cheeks burning hotter, “And you wore it.”

  Damn it, how can this jerk cop make everything all better with just a few words? She thumbed through the file then furrowed her brow. “Hmm... not sure about anyone local, looks like her family is in eastern Europe, a call is in. Nadine Mueller. She's an Austrian immigrant, New York Symphony cellist.”

  I looked back up at her in surprise. “Nadine Mueller? She's famous.”

  She nodded and handed me a couple newspaper articles with pictures showing a pretty woman in her late forties. In one she sat on a chair with her cello, Oscar laying at her feet. Another she was hugging Oscar to her, a huge smile on her face. The headline read 'The American Dream.' I handed them back, and she tucked them back into the folder.

  My heart ached for Miss Mueller, to have found her dream, to have been so happy, then some flaming fuzzy ass and a half had ended it all before she saw the end of her journey. Then I squinted at the upside down wiener dog who was curled into my belly as Calvin laid on my feet. “I wonder where it is.”

  She looked at me as she slid the articles back into the folder. “Where what is?”

  I shrugged. “Oscar's pretty collar. Looked to be diamond studded, probably from Julie Anne's.”

  She quickly pulled the articles back out and looked at the gorgeous collar on Oscar in the pictures then at Oscar, her eyes wide. I sighed and said absently as I flipped to the news on the TV, “Something like that would probably fetch in the high six figures. Rich people really spoil their fur babies.”

  She looked at the articles again then shook her head at me, a sly grin on her face. “You, Miss May, are full of surprises.”

  What? What did I do?

  Then she segued. “Jess actually told you her first name?” It took me a moment to catch up with the abrupt about face.

  I grinned hugely up at her. “Nope, her mom spilled the beans. She took me to coffee at Ethyl's when she was found you weren't home.” I thumbed my chest and said with a smirk, “Second string here.”

  “You Finnegan May, are many things, but second string isn't one of them.” She kissed the top of my head and then swatted my shoulder with the folder. “Let's get the kids walked. I have to make a call.”

  I nodded and slipped off the couch to the protestation of our comfortable four-footed friends. But being the loyal companions they are, they hopped down and shook, then trotted to the door with me as Jane stepped into her room, dialing her cell.

  By the time I had the boys harnessed, she rejoined us, looking as confident and almost seductive as ever, a smile on her face. She moved into my personal space, reached over me to hold the door open, I felt so small around her. I tucked some hair back behind my ear and moved through the door, the boys pulling me along.

  I looked back and smiled when she smirked to herself and made a show of locking the deadbolt...

  three times for me. She looped an arm in mine, and we headed out to Central Park. Is it wrong that it felt so right to me?

  # # #

  The next morning, after chasing Calvin off my bed, and searching for Oscar, I smiled when I stuck my head into Jane's room to see the little guy curled up on her bed, head on her belly. I took a moment to take in her feminine form. God, she was sleeping in a tight black sports bra and a pair of silky shorts to combat the slightly elevated temperatures in the apartment. I was keenly aware of how I looked like a prepubescent teen compared to her.

  I looked away before I got too aroused and headed to the kitchen to start the coffee. I was in a good mood. I squeaked and scurried off when she smiled and stretched, her eyes still closed as she muttered,

  “Perv.” I was mortified. Of course, she was awake, the woman always knew when I was walking about. The traitorous Calvin left me to my own devices as he joined the dog-pile in her bed.

  I smiled.

  I showered after starting the coffee. And rolled my eyes when she started knocking on the passthrough doors that went to each of our bedrooms as I was brushing out my unruly hair. At least I had her trained up enough to stop walking in on me and knock. She kept repeating, “Fin. Fin. Fin.”

  I grinned and asked, “Who is it?”

  She stepped in, and I tightened my robe, crossing my arms over my chest and feeling suddenly self-conscious. “I didn't say come in.”

  The woman smirked and grabbed a towel and snapped it at me. “Then you should get out before you get more of a show than you got earlier brat. I gotta get to the station.”

  I felt my cheeks burn and then said with a touch of annoyance, “You can at least allow me to make a light breakfast for you. You don't take good enough care of yourself.”

  I turned and almost ran into her chest, I was staring at the smooth skin of her slick collarbone, a trickle of sweat disappearing beneath her sports bra into the valley between her breasts. I swallowed hard, and she kissed the top of my head and said fondly, “That's what I got you for.”

  I whispered, my voice hoarse, me holding my hands out to stop their need to touch her, “Personal space.” My cheeks burned then my eyes flew wide as she reached up to start taking her bra off. I almost tripped over myself getting out of the bathroom quickly as she chuckled almost seductively. I could take a hint.

  I got dressed in my room, the image of her smooth glistening skin burned into my mind. I'm embarrassed to say that I put on the one pair of jeans I owned. They felt wrong, but Jane liked them. I

  put on a solid, short sleeve white blouse to compliment it and then headed to the kitchen.

  She wouldn't give me much time, she was always in such a hurry. Bagel with egg and cheese it is then. The boys hoovered up the cheese shavings I 'accidentally' dropped. Hey, I loves me some doggies, so sue me.

  She came out and retrieved her gun from the cabinet. I knew she had a wild hair today so I already had her coffee in the thermal mug. It was labeled Jane, thank you very much. And had her breakfast bagel partially wrapped in a paper towel for easy one handed eating.

  She holstered her weapon and then grabbed her case file before snagging her breakfast. Before she moved in with me, she rarely ever ate breakfast, and if she did, it was usually a danish or something equally as bad for her.

  She closed her eyes, held the bagel to her nose, and inhaled deeply. “Really Finny, you spoil me.”

  I grumped out, aware of how petulant I sounded, “If I don't take care of you, nobody will.”

  She held my gaze for a moment, and I could see so much hiding behind her eyes. She wanted to say something, she has that look all the time, but she never says what is on her mind. But I was one to talk. Maybe it was time for me to grow a backbone.

  She turned toward the door, and I said in a sma
ll voice, “Jane.” She froze, back to me as I prompted, “We need to have a serious talk.”

  She just nodded once without looking back and headed to the door, “I know. Tonight. Try to keep out of trouble that long?”

  “Hey! I'm not that bad!” She turned and smirked and winked as she backed out the door. Ok so maybe I was. But I never went looking for trouble, it just sort of found me.

  I gave her an embarrassed wave from my hip, and she started to close the doors, she paused as she was shutting it behind her and gave me a wistful smile and said, “Nice jeans.” She shut the door, and I beamed a smile as I smoothed out my jeans. They felt foreign to me. Ever since junior high, I have worn dresses and skirts exclusively.

  I had looked up to my twin brother, Garrett, growing up. I emulated him, and all the kids said I wanted to be a boy like him. The kids had called me Fin-dyke-again. I never wanted to be a boy... so I started wearing dresses to prove them wrong. I've never felt feminine enough since then. I know, that's just my damage.

  Then I chuckled at the nickname. With my attraction to the ebony haired Amazon, who is Detective Jane Marie McLeary, it seems they were right. Though the term does seem vulgar to me, filled with hate and venom.

  I moved to the door as I heard her muffled voice saying, “Lock the door.” I did, three times and

  tugged on it to make sure.

  Then I turned and looked at the fuzzy boys, my gaze dropping to the overly cute long-haired dachshund. He just cocked his head and started wagging his tail at the attention. I headed to the junk drawer. Well, the neatly organized, partitioned and labeled drawer, as I muttered, “We can't just keep calling you Oscar, can we? Let's see what your real name is, shall we? And maybe we can find any family you might have here.”

  I grabbed the microchip reader from its slot. I crouched, and the dogs ran to me. I smiled and ran the pink loop over the little guy as I scratched his ears. I frowned when it didn't beep. I ran it all around his neck where microchips were implanted. Were my batteries dead? I made silly doggie faces at Calvin as I ruffled his fur and ran the scanner across his neck. With a beep, a 15 digit code came up.