by Lyra Parish
She leaned her head back and closed her eyes.
“I’m not that bloody annoying,” Abbot said, almost offended.
I stifled a laugh. “You can be.”
She was now officially closed tight.
We flew through a patch of turbulence that felt like it would rip the wings off the plane. I thought I heard Abbot release a high-pitched scream, and I burst into laughter. One of the scariest, most frightening men I knew screamed like a girl.
“You’re scaring the shit out of me,” Abbot said.
“Nature is scaring the shit of you, not me.”
Soon the view opened up to blue skies and wisps of clouds. The storm was behind us, but somehow I felt like I was flying straight into it. After hours of silence and flying, we approached the airport. I gave the calls and was given permission to land. It was always my favorite part of flying—landing and taking off—because at that point, I really felt like I was in control. I loved being in control in all aspects. I supposed that was why I hated being a target; when I was in the line of fire, I had very little control.
Jennifer had fallen asleep but soon awoke when we landed. Everything felt wrong. A sad tug pulled at my heart, and I had to fix it. The weekend was officially a failure. No matter what I tried to do, no matter how much I tried to make her happy, it all seemed to fall through. I supposed that was my luck, and I was a bit perturbed by that.
The hangar waited with the sliding door open, and I pulled in. We were soon unloading the bags from the plane and then walking toward the car. The keys waited on a hook by the door. One of the garage managers locked up, and I watched in the rearview mirror as he closed the sliding door. I reached my hand over, interlocked my fingers with Jennifer’s, and squeezed.
She continued to stare out the window.
My heart crushed when I thought about everything that had happened.
I watched her unwind as we pulled into the driveway of the house. Luke’s Volvo was parked in the driveway, along with other random vehicles that belonged to Abbot’s men. Liam, Abbot’s right-hand man, had stayed behind and taken charge while he was in Texas.
A small smile touched my lips when I saw her shoulders fully relax. This may not be the house she had grown up in, but it was a place where she felt safe, a place where no one would hurt her, and that was enough for now. You can take a girl out of Texas, but you can’t take Texas out of the girl’s heart. I’d learned that.
The sun set over the mountains and a rusty color filled the sky.
We walked inside, and Luke stood from the couch. His eyes met mine, then slid to Jennifer. She gave him a small smile, then headed up the stairs without saying a word. After a minute, I heard the door click shut.
“Fuck,” I said.
“What’s wrong? I’ve never seen her like that before. Are you okay?” Luke asked.
“They’re fine. Pissed though,” Abbot said. He took his leather jacket off, threw it on the back of the couch, and stretched.
“I’ve got to take care of this. I’m sorry. Abbot can fill you in,” I said. I walked to Luke and gave him a huge hug, then made my way up the stairs.
I wanted her to know that it was okay to be upset and that crying didn’t mean she was weak.
FINNLEY
Sixteen
I walked inside the bedroom, where she was curled into a ball on the bed. She didn’t acknowledge that I had entered. Slowly, I climbed onto the bed and wrapped my arms around her, then pulled her against my warm body. With care, I brushed her hair from her neck and rested my chin against her warm skin. She inhaled deeply.
“I love you, Jennifer. If you don’t want to talk, I understand, but I want you to know that I’m always here for you. You don’t have to put up a front for me. It’s okay to be yourself and feel how you feel.”
She rolled over until her face was inches from mine. The puffiness around her eyes gave away her faded tears. I brushed my thumb against her cheek, leaned in, and kissed her. She poured her emotions into the kisses, but she still hadn’t said a word. Warmth from her body covered me.
“Finnley.” Her voice was hoarse from not speaking. I had waited hours for her to talk, though I knew she eventually would. The look in her eyes and the slump in her shoulders screamed defeat.
“It was like I lost them all over again. I expected everything to stay exactly the way I had left them, but it seems each time I go back home, everything changes. It’s one of the only constants in my life—change. My heart can only take so much. Seeing their headstones broken and on the ground like that did exactly what Jesse intended it to. It made me weak. My tears were those of anger, hate, and pain.” She paused and sucked in a deep breath “I’m pissed and upset. And I just want it all to go away. I don’t want to feel these emotions pulsing through me anymore. I don’t.”
“I wish I could take it all away.” I wanted to pull her away from the shadows of her dark paradise.
“You can,” she whispered.
I looked at her with hooded eyes. She knew I would do anything for her, anything she asked, and right now, Jennifer was the person in control. I would fold for her, lie down, and give her everything I was.
Her lips brushed across my neck and nibbled up to my mouth.
“Fuck the pain away,” she whispered.
I ran my fingers through her hair and pulled her head back until she was forced to look into my eyes.
“Are you sure this is what you want?” I asked with warning in my tone. If I fully let myself go with her, I might not be able to stop.
“Fuck me like you hate me. Break me,” she said.
When it came to Jennifer, I’d always tried to stay in control, but she wanted this, and if this would take her away her pain, I would give her everything I had.
“One condition,” I said in a low voice in her ear.
Her eyes widened and she gasped as I pulled her hair harder.
“I’ll give you all of me. But. If it becomes too much, you have to say so,” I said.
“Yes, sir,” she said.
I growled, and with a strong hand, I ripped her shirt from her body. Her breathing steadily increased, and I hovered over her. Brown eyes stared into mine. I dipped my head down and sunk my teeth into her shoulder, then kissed the pain away. She moved her hands to touch me, and I yanked them above her head, holding them by her wrists.
“You’re under my control, Ms. Downs. You do what I say.” For a moment, I thought I saw something flash behind her eyes—admiration. I swam in the sounds of her heavy breathing, and my heart picked up its pace. Carefully, I unsnapped her bra and inched her pants down, then I stood beside the bed and memorized her body as I removed my shirt and pants. Black lace panties hugged her hips, but they would be gone soon, torn straight off her body.
I lay down beside her and licked my way down to her nipple, then twirled it in my mouth and nibbled. She gasped and arched her back as my hand slid down to her pretty little panties. I put pressure on her clit, just enough to make her beg for more, then pulled my hand away. I loved teasing her to the point of annoyance before allowing her the release her body begged for.
I ran my hand over her belly button then dipped my hand inside her panties. She sucked in a deep breath and closed her eyes, pushing herself into me. I tried with everything I had to hold back a grin of satisfaction. I slipped my fingers under the string that connected the panties to her body. With a quick twist of my fingers and a yank, they snapped, leaving marks on her upper thigh. She sighed as if the pain had opened some sort of entrance to her heart. Jennifer was chocolate in my hand, melting into syrup. Everything about her in this moment marked her as mine. Hands ran down my chest, and I growled at her. Instantly, she placed her hands back above her head. A shiver ran over her as my fingers moved up to her breasts and traced the softness of her skin. Light moans escaped her, while her breathing increased. She tucked her bottom lip into her mouth and lost herself in the moment. Beauty lay in front of me, with cream-colored skin and gorgeous curves. Neve
r in my life had I seen anyone as sexy as Jennifer was right then, confident in her sexuality, taking every touch I gave her with greed.
I was not a weak man, but seeing her like this twisted a knot of want and need inside me that was so powerful, and the only person who could undo it was Jennifer. I gently grabbed her by her chin and her eyes flew open.
“I love you,” I said, needing her to know, wanting her to hear those three powerful words in this exact moment. When she smiled, I knew my words had touched her heart.
“I love you too. Now fuck me.” She ran her fingers through my hair and yanked me closer to her face. Our breaths mingled, and I couldn’t hold back anymore. If this was what she wanted, this was what she would get.
She pushed me onto my back and took complete control. Slowly, she straddled me and took all of me. I sighed, and so did she. Fingernails scratched down my chest as she moved her hips with forceful intention. She wildly swung her head back and whispered my name. Knowing I had to take control, I rolled her onto her back and switched positions. Then I gave her every bit of me, hard, just how she begged for it. At first her moans were soft, then with every long stroke they became more powerful.
She gave me her body, her heart, and herself. Words escaped me as my heart ached for her, even though I had her.
What was she doing to me?
Allowing me to fall in love, encouraging it even.
We were in love. We were together. We shared an emotion that couldn’t be broken by anything other than death. Our hearts had intertwined, rooting to each other. I experienced emotions so controlling that I could have easily lost myself, and slowly, I was. The only thing I could blame was love, real love. The type that poets wrote about, artists sung about, and actors performed. Jennifer was my drug, and I had to have her as much as possible.
Though earlier she was at her lowest, right now, Jennifer was a bird soaring in the sky, piercing clouds with silky wings, losing everything that she was with me. She had changed. I had changed, but one thing was for certain: tomorrow would be a new day and no matter what happened, as long as we were together, we could handle it.
JENNIFER
Seventeen
Finnley hovered above me, his hard body pressed against mine. I needed to feel him, every inch of him. Red marks already lined his chest, and when he slowly pushed himself inside me, I ran fingernails down his back. He loved it. He loved me.
I leaned up and bit his shoulder as he pushed deeper, harder, and faster. All I could focus on was him, and how his hair fell in his face, and how fucking good I felt when he was inside me. My heart hammered and my body slowly let go of all stress from the inside out. It was just Finnley and me. Nothing mattered anymore. Nothing. He didn’t stop fucking me hard. My moans climbed in pitch, and I became more passionate, wanting more and more of him, though he was giving me everything. He dipped his head down and pulled my nipple between his teeth.
“Oh fuck,” I whispered, knowing exactly where this was going. I was an instrument that he was playing, strumming every chord in every scale. My eyes fluttered shut, and I pulled him closer. Our panting escaped us at the same time, and his body glistened with sweat. What had I done to deserve him?
Sometimes the little voice in the back of my head told me I didn’t deserve him. The thought diminished when Finnley’s lips pressed against mine. The way I felt was almost indescribable. My body was no longer mine. It was as if I had given it away, and I was floating in space, hovering where gravity didn’t exist. I needed him more than even he knew.
He kissed me sweetly on the cheek, and I didn’t know how much more of him I could take. The orgasm teetered, but Finnley wouldn’t let me have what I wanted until he was ready. His movement slowed significantly, and I let out a huff of annoyance. A smile touched his lips, and I lifted my eyebrows at him.
He returned the gesture. “Do you need something, Ms. Downs?” he whispered in my ear then nibbled on the bottom of my earlobe.
Tingles shot through me. “You. More of you,” I said then begged with my eyes.
He chuckled, then fucked me.
I gasped and completely lost myself in the orgasm. Moments later, he was letting go inside me. He was pure ecstasy, my own personal addiction.
Waves of satisfaction poured through me. I didn’t know who I was or where I was, and I didn’t care.
Every worry and every care I had experienced earlier was replaced with Finnley, and I wouldn’t have it any other way. This was what I wanted, needed, and would have begged for had he told me no.
Finnley lay beside me and wrapped his arm around my stomach. I stared at the ceiling, gasping for air. Too many emotions streamed through my body, but the only one that stood out was the electricity that Finnley’s touch left behind. Oh God. His body had taken me to another place, one that I hadn’t visited in a while. He didn’t look at me like he pitied me, but rather like he would save me, and he had. He had saved me from myself, from the darkness that haunted me. When Finnley unlocked his dominant side and took control the way he had, it made me want to beg for more, for more of him in the raw.
A smile touched my lips, and it wasn’t lost on him. He gave me a side smirk, his bottom lip so full and sexy. He tilted his head at me. That man knew exactly what he was doing. How could he not?
We didn’t just make love; we fucked, hard, and it was exactly what I needed. My eyes trailed from his eyes, to his lips, then down his abs to the sexy V that pointed to his hardness.
“Like what you see, Ms. Downs?”
I shook my head no, then smiled. “I love what I see, Mr. Felton.”
I rolled over on my side and ran my hand down the side of his neck, then leaned in to kiss him. Our lips were at war with each other, fighting, despite how much we had experienced. He pulled away and met my eyes, and I felt so much emotion in his burning gaze. Want. Lust. Love. Then, as if an unseen force had pulled us together again, he leaned over and softly touched his mouth to mine, sucking on my bottom lip, and lightly tugging on it with his teeth.
“I’d do anything for you. You know that, don’t you?”
I smiled. I could listen to him talk all night long with that accent. “Yes, and thank you. Sometimes I feel like you’re a dream, and I’m going to wake up and this will all be gone. I’m so used to losing everything that I’m fearful you’re next. This is all real, right?”
Finnley shot up in bed and turned toward me. “Baby, this is as real as it will ever be. I’m not going anywhere. Only death itself can separate us, Jenn. And death better put up a damn good fight.”
There were days when I felt so lonely, but when I saw Finnley’s face, it all disappeared. He made me want to be stronger. I knew that when we were together, nothing could harm me. It was comforting to know that no matter what, everything would be okay, guaranteed.
He held me in his arms and our bare skin stayed pressed against each other all night. I slept without nightmares, but with dreams.
JENNIFER
Eighteen
The next morning, I woke to lips pressing against my forehead. The early morning light glowed behind Finnley, and he almost looked like an angel. I didn’t want this day to come, but I couldn’t stop time.
“I don’t want to leave you,” he said. He was already dressed in black slacks and a white, button-up shirt. The tie hung around his popped collar.
I looked at him with sleepy eyes and smiled. “They will be happy to have you back at work,” I said.
“I suppose.” He climbed on the bed and streamed his fingers through my hair, then gently rested his hand on my neck and pulled me close. His soft lips pressed against mine, and I wanted to pull him into bed with me and never let him go. If I asked him to stay, I had no doubt he would, but I wouldn’t do that. It wasn’t me.
He checked his watch, adjusted his collar and tie, and glanced back at me. “I’ve got to go. Meet me for coffee and lunch. Eleven sharp.” A smirk hit his lips, and I leaned up and kissed him one last time.
I watched him
walk away, and before he closed the door, he spoke, “Abbot is officially your shadow. Not quite as sexy, but he will do.” Then, as if he already knew my reaction, he laughed and clicked the door shut.
Finnley’s pillow smelled like him, and I breathed in his scent. I lay perfectly still, with hopes of falling back to my dreams, but after a few more minutes, I realized it just wasn’t happening. Might as well get up and start the day. I threw the covers off my body, then pulled on a pair of pants and boots, and threw on a button up shirt and a scarf from the closet. Once I put them on, I looked like I gave more fucks than I really did. As I brushed my teeth, the memories of last night floated through my mind. I remembered Finnley’s skin, lips, and touch on me, and I wanted more. Before I left the room, I made the bed and picked up our clothes that littered the floor.
Downstairs, Abbot leaned back on the couch with his feet dangling off the edge. When my foot hit the bottom step of the stairs, he moved the book from in front of his face and glared at me.
“Shakespeare? Really?” I asked, reading The Works of William Shakespeare on the outside cover.
He slammed the book shut, set it on the coffee table, and sat up with a shit-eating grin on his face.
I narrowed my eyes at him, but it didn’t change his reaction.
“Are you ready to be followed every single place you go?
Finnley had settled back in work, and was interviewing women for the spring convention. He texted me explaining how much his approach had changed, that it was nothing like it had been with me. It satisfied me to know that he didn’t treat everyone with the same intensity. Apparently, I was a special case. I liked the thought of that.
I met him at a coffee shop down the street from the Elite office. Abbot sat in the car and waited like he always did. He was my new shadow, and a part of me was okay with that, considering how much of a monster he was at home. Finnley had told me stories. While those stories should frighten me, they didn’t. They made me feel safe, and I think Abbot knew that.