Israel didn’t look convinced. “But promise you’ll come to me if you need help.”
“I will.”
The rest of the day was as marvelous as the day before. We enjoyed the wonderful breakfast, we walked the beach, collected shells, sunbathed, showered together, and did some shopping. Then we stopped in a little seafood shack that had delicious fried shrimp and creamy clam chowder.
That night we made love again, but this time the pace was slower. I felt seriously cherished by this new man in my life. And I came to the realization that Israel was indeed a man, compared to Daniel. Daniel was a college crush, but Israel Goodspeed was the real thing. And then there was the incomparable Mr. Yummy.
Israel dropped me off at my apartment late Sunday night.
“Thank you for a wonderful weekend,” I said.
“I was about to say the same thing to you. I can’t wait to see you again. I’ll pick you up right after work and we’ll grab some dinner, maybe see a movie.”
“You are sweeping me off my feet, Mr. Goodspeed.”
“I have a lot of time to make up for. I love you, Merritt.” He sealed it with a kiss.
“I know.” I didn’t say it back. It was too new. But I did feel it.
Chapter Eighteen
“Miss Saxe. Are you avoiding me?”
I was seated in a chair directly across from the director, in the proverbial hot seat.
I cleared my throat. “No.” The director was a man of few words. I could play the same game. “Didn’t Jean tell you I called in sick Friday?”
“Strange. Then you must be overheated, or else your sunburn is turning into a nice tan. I’m sorry you were cooped up in the house all weekend. Evidently, you’ve made a miraculous recovery. By the way, how are you and Israel Goodspeed doing?”
“That’s personal. It’s none of your business.”
“Everything you do is my business, Miss Saxe. There’s something different about you. I can’t quite put my finger on it.”
I blushed, became sullen, and then angry.
“Are you having me followed?”
“Do I need to? You’re not afraid of me, are you, Miss Saxe?”
I stood up. “I’m just annoyed. I think this cat-and-mouse game you’re playing with me has gone on long enough. I’m sorry I ever picked you up that morning. I wish I hadn’t seen what I saw. I just want to forget about the whole thing. And for you to leave me alone. I don’t want to be any part of this.”
“Sit down, Miss Saxe,” he scolded. “Unfortunately, you are very much a part of it. Your livelihood is in my hands, and so is your fate. So I would suggest we get on with our business.”
Somehow, I thought, what the director said and the influence he was trying to exert on me was illegal, or at least improper, or if it wasn’t, it should be.
“And exactly what is our business?”
“We are going to meet periodically so there will be a record that we are working together on a very important project. You are penciled in on my calendar.”
“I’m your alibi. We’re not working on any project. And I don’t want to be here.”
“Ah, there’s that spunk I knew was in there. Miss Saxe, you’re very much mistaken if you think you have a choice in the matter. You will sit down, and we will stay in here for the next hour until our business is settled.”
I sat down and scowled. Inside, I was boiling mad. This man was a bully, but he had the heft of the entire division behind him. He could make people go away. He’d already killed one person. Who knew what else he’d done?
“Merritt,” he said, gently. “You still think I killed Savannah. I told you before, I loved her. She was pregnant with my child. I would never have harmed her.”
“Maybe you did love her. But maybe that child was an issue. Maybe Miss Braddock was going to go to your wife. You couldn’t have Miss Julia finding out about your affair.”
“You don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“I’ve seen your temper. I know what you’re capable of.”
“Your insubordination is distressing, Miss Saxe. On your way out, tell my secretary to hold my calls, and you be in my office first thing tomorrow morning.”
I stood up abruptly. I couldn’t wait to leave his office. I couldn’t stand the sight of him. It was like he was punishing me. Things couldn’t continue this way. But how could I get out of his clutches?
“Oh, and Miss Saxe, give my regards to Mr. Goodspeed when you see him again tonight.”
Alarmed, I faced the door so he couldn’t see the expression on my face. The director was having me followed…or else he was using Israel to do his dirty work. Of course. How stupid could I be? How could Israel have fallen in love with me so quickly? He couldn’t have. I should have known the relationship was too good to be true. He was working for the director all this time. And I had fallen for it. I had slept with the enemy. I was nothing more than a slut. Worse than that, I was a predictable slut, sleeping with the first man who paid attention to me after my breakup. How pathetic.
I slammed the door and swept past his secretary. I wasn’t going to make another appointment. I wasn’t going to come to the director’s office like a pawn in his twisted game. I was through with him. And I was going to give Israel Goodspeed, if that was even his real name, a piece of my mind and end this farce of a relationship tonight. I wanted to put Mr.Yummy and his namesake through a meat grinder and grind his balls to paste.
The director knew I had broken up with Daniel. So he got his friend’s brother to bait the trap. In my head, I replayed the scene and all the things I did with Israel in that great big bed, all the things I’d said. By now he and his brother and the director were having a good laugh at my expense.
I got to my office, and Jean told me Peggy was looking for me.
“I told her you were in the director’s office, and she went ballistic.”
“Jean, listen to me. There’s been a family emergency. I have to go back to Miami.”
“But we’re having the Tent City press conference. Peggy needs you.”
“You and Stanley can handle it. I need to leave right away.”
I bolted out of the office before Jean could respond.
I drove back to my apartment, threw some things into a suitcase, and began driving. My first reflex was to call Israel to let him know I wouldn’t be in town for our date, but I didn’t owe him anything. I wanted to have it out with him, but right now all I wanted to do was go home to Miami. Daniel wouldn’t be home from school for a few days, but that’s where I needed to be. I had told Israel that what I felt for Daniel was not real love, but apparently I didn’t know the difference. Israel was just using me. It had all started when Peggy fixed me up for the holiday party. Maybe Peggy was in on The Big Conspiracy too.
Chapter Nineteen
“Merritt?”
“Hi, Daniel. When did you get home?”
“Just now. I’m going to spend some time with my family, and then I want to take you out to Sarucci’s, if you’re still speaking to me.”
“I guess I am speaking to you. That sounds nice.”
I showered and put on the new dress I’d just bought in The Gables on Miracle Mile. It was expensive but very flattering and in my favorite color—green. When I saw it on the rack, I knew I had to have it. Money would be tight when I quit my job, but I was determined to find another job in Miami. I’d just have to learn to speak Spanish.
I told my parents I was homesick and that was the reason I left Watertown. They were thrilled to have me home again, so they didn’t ask questions. I’d spent most of the week pining over Israel, but in my heart I knew he was falsehearted. I berated myself about being such a fool. I hadn’t had any contact with Peggy or Jean—or blessedly, the director. I supposed they knew where I was from my personnel file, but as long as I wasn’t in Watertown causing trouble, they would be satisfied.
When I heard Daniel’s voice, I got a little wistful. We’d had four years of wonderful memories. I could convince
myself I was still in love with him. I’d have to reserve judgment until I saw him again.
When I did, my heart didn’t do the flip it did when I’d laid my eyes on Israel. It didn’t skip a beat. He was familiar, dear even, but my spirit didn’t soar. He hugged me and somehow he seemed diminished, less than he was before. I would wait to hear what he had to say. He approached me shyly, trying to gauge my reaction, and then he kissed me. Sparks didn’t fly. I didn’t want to jump into bed with him like I had in Charlottesville, but still, it was Daniel.
“I missed you,” he began.
I didn’t say anything in response but asked, “How were your finals?”
“I think I did okay. I was a wreck thinking about us.”
I was silent.
“You’re going to make this difficult, aren’t you?”
I shrugged.
“Let’s get to the restaurant, or we’ll miss our reservation.”
Good old Daniel. He was committed to getting to the restaurant on time, just not to spending a lifetime with me.
“How’s work?” he asked.
“I’d rather not talk about it. I don’t think I’m going back.”
“Did something go wrong?”
“You could say that, but let’s talk about that later.”
We arrived at the restaurant, and the owner had reserved our favorite table at our favorite place. “Welcome back,” he said effusively. “My two favorite people.”
“Thank you, Silvio,” I said, hugging him.
“Tonight, on this special occasion, I am going to personally take your order.”
What special occasion?
He winked at Daniel. “I have some complimentary focaccia coming to the table.” He signaled, and a server brought over a plate. “Now how about some drinks?”
Daniel ordered a glass of Merlot.
“Nothing for me, thank you,” I said, remembering what happened the last time I had too much to drink.
“No amaretto sour?” Silvio asked.
“Not right now,” I answered, preferring to see how the evening progressed. I needed to concentrate.
“I know you two know the menu by heart. We have some specials, but I already know what you’re going to order. So what shall I bring you?”
“I’ll have spaghetti carbonara,” I said.
“And bring me the lasagna,” said Daniel.
He nodded. “Coming right up.” He gave Daniel another meaningful look.
“What is going on between the two of you?” I asked.
“I just told him to make this a special night. So what are you going to do if you quit your job?”
“Try to get a job here.”
“I thought you hated Miami.”
“It’s better than Watertown.”
“Maybe there’s another alternative.”
“Like what?”
“Like moving to Charlottesville.”
“Charlottesville? Why would I want to do that?”
“That’s all you talked about last semester.”
“There’s no reason for me to move there.”
“What about me?”
“What about you?”
“Us, Merritt. I thought you wanted to be together.”
“There is no us, Daniel.”
“Let’s table that discussion. Here comes Silvio with the drinks.”
“Merlot for the gentleman and Champagne for the lady.” He placed a glass of Champagne in front of me.
“I didn’t order this.”
“It’s on the house.”
I didn’t want to seem ungracious, though I didn’t want to drink Champagne. “Thank you.”
I picked up the goblet and was about to drink when I noticed a shadow at the bottom of the glass.
“There’s something in my glass, Silvio. Could you bring me another one?”
“Maybe you ought to look closer, signorina.” Grinning, he walked away.
I stared into the fizzy liquid. Something was sparkling at the bottom of the glass.
Daniel took the glass and fished around the bottom. He lifted something from the glass. “Look what I found.”
I stared at it. It was a ring. It looked like an engagement ring.
“Aren’t you going to say anything?” He dropped the ring into my hand.
What was I supposed to say? I stared dumbly at the ring in my hand.
“Merritt, it’s an engagement ring. I’m asking you to marry me.”
I froze as the chilled Champagne dripped through my fingers.
“Isn’t it what you wanted? I didn’t want to lose you.”
“You can’t afford this ring. It’s beautiful, but—”
“My parents helped me out. I told them about what happened, and they agreed we should be together.”
“Are you saying you want to marry me, now?”
“Not now. I’m still a one-L. But we’d be engaged, and when I finish law school—”
“In three years.”
“Yes, in three years, then I would get a job and we’d get married. But in the meantime, you could move to Charlottesville and get a job.”
That would solve one of my problems. Getting away from Watertown, from the murder, from the director. I wasn’t worried about getting a job. Maybe it wouldn’t be in my profession, but I would take any job. At least that’s what I had convinced myself. But I enjoyed working in my field. I didn’t want to be with Daniel enough to give that up.
“Merritt?”
“I didn’t expect this.”
“I wanted it to be a surprise.”
“It’s a shock, really. I mean, we were broken up. There’s been no communication between us, and now you give me a ring?”
“Do you want me to get down on one knee?” He proceeded to do just that. Everyone in the restaurant was staring at us in anticipation.
I looked—really looked—at Daniel. It would be the easiest, most natural thing to say, “Yes,” to use Daniel as my ticket out. Eventually, if I was out of sight, the director would forget about me. He’d realize I wasn’t going to cause trouble. He’d loosen his hold on me. But I owed Daniel the truth. Not about the murder. The fewer people who knew the truth about that the better. But marriage was a big step. A step I was not ready to take. Not with Daniel. Not now that I knew what love could be like. Even though I knew it wasn’t real.
“Daniel, I can’t accept this. I don’t want to marry you.”
The look of surprise, then shock, signaled that he was crestfallen. I think I’ll remember that look for the rest of my life.
“But I thought… You said… Didn’t you want—” He started to get up.
Suddenly, we were surrounded by the wait staff, and Silvio danced over singing, congratulating us effusively, and placing two steaming hot dishes of food in front of us. The restaurant patrons were clapping. It was a nightmare.
“Stop,” Daniel shouted. “Go away.”
When Silvio’s face registered confusion, Daniel said simply, “She didn’t say yes.”
The celebrators faded into the background. The well-wishers went back to their dinners, looking down at their menus and furtively out of the corners of their eyes to find out what had precipitated this disaster.
“Aren’t you going to eat your lasagna?” I asked, putting the ring down on the tablecloth and pushing it toward Daniel.
“I’ve lost my appetite,” he said. He picked up the ring and pushed it back toward me. “I want you to keep it. Just promise me you’ll think about it. I know I blindsided you. You weren’t expecting it. It’s an important decision. You need to think about what you want to do.”
I frowned. What I really wanted to do was to pick up my fork and dig into my spaghetti carbonara. Why did I turn Daniel down when just a few weeks ago there was nothing I wanted more than to become his wife? Why, because I’d fallen in love with and slept with Israel Goodspeed. But Israel Goodspeed was a phantom. That relationship wasn’t real. I owed Daniel the courtesy of thinking, really thinking, about
his proposal. I took the ring, wrapped it in a paper napkin, and placed it in the zipper pocket of my purse.
“Okay, I’ll think about it. And thank you.” I was a coward, delaying the inevitable. It wouldn’t hurt any less if I declined his proposal in another day or a week.
“This isn’t how I thought the evening would go.”
“Eat your lasagna,” I said, twirling a forkful of carbonara into a spoon.
Chapter Twenty
After a perfunctory goodnight kiss, Daniel drove away, downcast and disappointed. I went to unlock the door with my key and ran right into my mother.
“You’ve got company.”
Could this night get any weirder? I didn’t want to see anyone. I just wanted to go to bed.
“He says his name is Israel and that he knows you.”
My senses were on high alert. Israel here? He had followed me to my house!
“Your dad is already asleep,” said my mother, walking down the hall to her bedroom. “I’ll leave you two alone. It was nice to meet you, Israel,” she added.
“You too, Mrs. Saxe, and thank you for the brisket. It was delicious.”
“You gave him dinner?”
“He arrived right after you left. He drove all that way. I had to feed the boy.”
Jeesh. My own mother was betraying me.
I turned an accusatory face to Israel. “What are you doing here?”
“I was frantic. You weren’t at home when I came to pick you up for our date. I called your office the next morning, and they said you had a family emergency. I was worried sick, but they wouldn’t give me your home phone number. I finally had my brother sweet talk Peggy into giving him your address. I drove all day to get here. It turns out everyone in your family is fine. So what’s up? Why did you just leave without letting me know?”
“Because you’re not the boss of me.”
Israel laughed. “You know you sound like a spoiled little brat. I’d shake you senseless, but I’m so relieved. I was scared something had happened to you. Or to someone in your family. I wanted to be here for you. I thought I might never see you again. I think you owe me an explanation.”
“I didn’t ask you to come.”
“I know that. Merritt, what’s wrong?”
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