by Joan Jonker
‘If ye’re not going to buy that blouse, Aggie, put the bleedin’ thing down before yer wear it out,’ the stallholder called out.
‘I can’t make up me mind whether the colour will suit me, Mary Ann.’
‘Oh, aye, Aggie, what mind is that then?’
‘My mind, of course, yer soft cow!’
‘I didn’t think yer had a mind, Aggie. If yer did, yer’d know that bright green definitely wouldn’t go with that bright red complexion of yours.’
‘I haven’t got no bright red complexion, Mary Ann, yer hard-faced cow. My feller says I’ve got a very healthy colour.’
Mary Ann shook her head from side to side. ‘Your feller has been as blind as a bat since he broke his glasses, he can’t see a hand in front of him. He probably doesn’t even remember what yer look like. It was only last week he walked into the house next door to yer by mistake, sat down at their table and they felt so sorry for him they gave him some dinner.’
Even the woman, Aggie, was laughing now. ‘Ye’re a cracker, Mary Ann, yer really are. And now, how much is this blouse?’
‘It was fourpence ten minutes ago, Aggie, but I’ve had to put it up to sixpence ’cos I’ve lost trade with yer keeping me talking.’
‘Yer can sod off, Mary Ann. Here’s yer fourpence, that’s all ye’re getting.’
Mary Ann took the money and smiled at the woman. ‘I’ll give yer a word of advice which I won’t charge yer for, Aggie. Remember yer said the other week yer were going to buy your feller a pair of reading glasses from Woolworth’s? Well, don’t give him them for Christmas if yer intend wearing that blouse, ’cos the colour will blind him again.’
Aggie shoved the blouse into her basket. ‘Ye’re a hard-faced cow, Mary Ann, and if it wasn’t for this table between us I’d knock yer into the middle of next week.’
The stallholder grinned. ‘Have a nice Christmas, Aggie, and all the best to you and yer family.’
‘Oh, yer’ll see me before then, Mary Ann, ’cos I’ll be needing a skirt to go with the blouse.’
Mary Ann turned and shouted to the young girl who was moving like greased lighting to meet the demands of customers, ‘Ay, Sadie! Keep yer eye open for a bright green skirt will yer? It’s for Aggie, so it needs to be big enough to go around the gas works.’
While Aggie was mumbling what she’d do to the stallholder if she could get her hands on her, another woman was becoming very irate and more than a little jealous. ‘Is there any chance of getting served here, Mary Ann? That big mouth isn’t the only customer yer’ve got, yer know. And seeing as it’s only a week to go before Christmas, I’d like to get home in time to put the turkey in the oven.’
Mary Ann was taking money from people as she talked, and it all went into the deep pocket in her apron. ‘Hello, Tilly! I’m glad to see yer in a good mood and looking very happy. And just for yer information, out of all me customers, Aggie hasn’t got the biggest mouth. You can lay claim to that fame. Yer can knock her into a bleedin’ cocked hat. And that’s on a day when yer’ve got a bad headache and are disinclined to talk.’
Beth was chuckling with the rest of the customers when Flo gave her a dig in the ribs. ‘I hate to spoil yer pleasure, queen, but we’ve got to have dinners on the table for our fellers’ coming in from work so can yer bear to tear yerself away?’
‘I could stand here all day,’ Beth said. ‘It’s as good as a pantomime.’
Flo grabbed her mate’s arm and tugged hard, paying no heed to those standing behind who were pushed and shoved and had their toes trodden on. ‘There’s only women’s clothing up here, we need to be at the other end. So move yerself.’ As they elbowed their way through the crowds, she said, ‘If they’ve got one, yer’ll have to be satisfied with getting the coat for Joey and leave the other things. We can always come back next week for the rest. Don’t forget, we get our Tontine money on Tuesday.’
‘I’m not likely to forget, sunshine, not when it’s all spoken for. Without that there’d be no presents for the kids or Andy. And I mustn’t forget meself, I’ve got to have something new to wear on Christmas Day.’
They got as near to the end table as they could, pushing in when a customer was served and there was an empty space. They’d been there about five minutes when the young girl helping on the stall caught their eye. She was a pretty girl, was Sadie, with bright blonde curly hair and eyes the colour of the sky on a summer’s day. She gave them a big smile. ‘Yer’ll have to shout out if yer ever want to get served. It’s no good being polite or they’ll walk all over yer.’
Beth liked her on sight. ‘I’m looking for a coat for me son, a nice warm one. Have yer got anything in that line, sunshine?’
Sadie pointed to the back of one of the trestle tables where there was a clothes rack standing. ‘Yer might find something on there. How old is yer son?’
‘He’s thirteen, but I’ll say fourteen so he’ll get some wear out of it. And he’s pretty big for his age.’
‘Hang on for a few minutes while I serve a couple of women who’ve been shouting till they’re blue in the face. If I don’t serve them soon they’ll have a heart attack. And one thing that makes Mary Ann mad is someone dying by her stalls. She says it’s bad for business.’
With a smile that would melt the hardest heart the girl left them, and they could hear her holding her own with the impatient customers. But true to her word she was back with them within a few minutes, and ducked under the trestle table to stand beside them. ‘There’s one I think might suit yer, and it’s in very good condition. Come on, I’ll show it to yer, then I’ll have to get back to serving or Mary Ann will have me life. We’ve been rushed off our feet since half-eight this morning.’ The girl was moving the clothes along the rack as she spoke. ‘Mind you, yer don’t feel the cold so much when ye’re busy.’ She came across what she was looking for and pulled a hanger from the rack. ‘This is it, and as yer can see it’s hardly been worn.’
Beth’s hopes rose. The coat was navy blue and made of a very good material. There was no sign of wear on it anywhere. ‘Ooh, ay, Flo, that looks just the ticket, doesn’t it? Right size, I’d say, good colour, and as the girl said, it’s hardly been worn.’
Flo was impressed. ‘It looks good to me, queen. Nice thick material to keep the cold out, and yer can tell it’s come from a posh house ’cos I bet it cost a few bob when it was bought.’
‘How much is it, sunshine?’ Beth had her fingers crossed. Their Joey would think he was the bee’s knees in a coat like this. ‘Me money will only stretch to so much.’
‘I’m not sure, I’ll have to check with Mary Ann,’ Sadie said. ‘Have a look through the rest of the clothes on the rack, there might be something else that would do if this one’s out of yer price range.’ She grinned. ‘That means if yer can’t afford it.’
‘Ooh, I hope I can, sunshine, ’cos me son would be over the moon swanking around in a coat like that. Run and ask her, and put me out of me misery.’
When the girl had gone, Flo asked, ‘Aren’t yer going to look on the rack, queen? Yer never know, there might be another coat that would do Joey. Yer’ll not find one as good as that one, ’cos that’s a cracker, but there might be something that would tide him over.’
But Beth shook her head as her eyes followed Sadie. She could see Mary Ann listening first, then stroking her chin and pondering. Then she aimed a pretend blow at the girl’s chin, and Beth could just make out what she was saying above the din. ‘Oh, go on then, but yer’ll have me in the bleedin’ workhouse.’
Sadie’s pretty face was a joy to behold. As Beth was to say to Flo on the tram going home, it was as if they’d been friends of the girl for years. ‘Mary Ann said yer can have it for seven and six, seeing as it’s Christmas. But will yer visit her when she’s in the workhouse?’ The girl threw her head back and her laughter filled the air. ‘She said more than that, but I’ve left the swear words out. Anyway, if yer want it, the coat is seven and six, and a real bargain at that price.�
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‘I’ll take it, sunshine.’ Beth passed over the pound note she’d got off Ma Maloney the day before. But she was too happy to let her mind dwell on the moneylender. ‘And I want to thank you, and Mary Ann, ’cos I know a bargain when I see one. And I’ll certainly be back to see yer after the holidays.’
Sadie dipped into her pocket and brought out a ten-shilling note and half-a-crown. ‘I hope yer son likes the coat. Yer can tell him it belonged to a very clever boy who hadn’t had it long before he went on to high school.’
This time Flo was very impressed indeed. ‘Go ’way! How did yer find that out?’
Again Sadie’s laugh tinkled. ‘I didn’t, Missus, but a little lie doesn’t hurt if it makes someone happy. Anyway, if I don’t get back to work, Mary Ann will have me guts for garters. Have a nice Christmas and come back and see us again sometime.’ With that, the girl ducked under the trestle table and approached one of the many pairs of hands being held out to her.
Beth jumped down from the tram platform and turned to help her mate. Getting on and off trams was the bane of Flo’s life. With her short legs she couldn’t get down from the high step without swearing to high heaven or being given a hand down by a friend. Sometimes a sympathetic conductor would be her saviour, and that would put her in a good mood for the rest of the day, but the one on this tram was busy collecting fares upstairs so Beth had to take the strain. ‘Come on, sunshine, put yer weight on me arm and I’ll lower yer down.’
Once she was safely on the pavement, Flo breathed a sigh of relief. ‘D’yer know what, queen? I’d rather clean the house from top to bottom than get off a bleedin’ tram.’ She linked arms and nodded to the coat over Beth’s arm. ‘If one of the kids happens to see yer passing Hannah’s window, what are yer going to say about the coat?’
‘I’ve got it all figured out, sunshine, have no fear. We’re not walking up the street, we’re walking up the entry. And you can take the coat in with yer.’
‘And I’m the underhanded one, am I, queen? Yer don’t do so bad yerself. I’ve heard yer telling more lies today than I’ll tell in a month of Sundays.’
‘Oh, now let’s not get carried away! I’d say that was a bit of an exaggeration. There’s lies and there’s lies, sunshine, and mine have only been little tiddlers compared to the ones you can come out with. In fact, compared to you, I’m just a babe-in-arms.’
‘Yer do all right, in any case. Yer ruddy face would get yer the parish.’ They stopped outside Flo’s entry door and she held her arm out for the coat. ‘This seems a right bleedin’ carry on to me. Why can’t yer take it in yer own house, there’s nobody there to see it!’
‘How d’yer know? Our Ginny and Joey could be back by now. And I’m not taking any chances, so ye’re getting lumbered with it, sunshine, until after we’ve done our shopping.’ Beth leaned forward until their noses were nearly touching. ‘I don’t know why ye’re moaning, it’s no skin off your nose to mind the flaming coat for a couple of hours.’
‘I know that, queen, and I’m not really moaning. It just seems daft going through all this cloak and dagger stuff for a bleedin’ second-hand coat! Still, if that’s what yer want, I’ll take the coat and put it in me wardrobe until later.’
Beth was smiling as she pinched her friend’s chubby cheek. ‘I wouldn’t have that coat but for you, sunshine, and I’m really grateful to yer. And when we’ve got more time, I’d like to know how yer knew about that market stall. Ye’re a flaming mystery to me, the things you know that I don’t, even though we seldom go anywhere without each other.’
Flo tapped the end of her nose. ‘The difference between you and me, queen, is that I keep me eyes and ears open. And as yer can see, it pays off.’
‘It certainly does, sunshine, I’ll give yer that. And now, I’d better get in and start on the dinner. I’ll give yer a knock at the usual time.’
‘Hang on a minute so I can get this straight. Are Lizzie and Dot going to be let into the secret of this coat, or do I have to lie to them, as well?’
‘No, I’m going to tell them. And I’m taking them down to see the stall next week, if we’ve got time. It’s a good place to know about and keep in mind.’ Beth began to walk away. ‘If I didn’t tell them, they’d soon find out. When our Joey gets that on his back he’ll be strutting up and down this street as though he’s king of the castle.’ She turned and waved a hand. ‘Ta-ra, I’ll see yer later.’
Andy pushed his plate away, licking his lips on the taste of bacon. ‘I enjoyed that, love, it was tasty. The mashed potatoes were nice and creamy, just as I like them.’
‘I aim to please, sunshine.’ Beth picked up his empty plate and placed it on top of hers. ‘What time are yer going down to Hannah’s?’
‘We’re meeting down there at two o’clock. If we left it any later we’d never get it done in the one afternoon. Dennis has got all the nails we’ll need, Bill is bringing a hammer, and Paddy a saw. All I’ve got to take is a screwdriver and meself.’
Joey grinned. ‘I’ll take the screwdriver down for yer, Dad, and yerself can stay here.’
‘Yer won’t be cold, ’cos Mrs Bailey’s got a fire roaring up the chimney,’ Ginny told him. ‘And she took one of those paraffin heaters upstairs as well.’
Joey’s eyes nearly popped out of his head at what he thought was a great injustice. ‘Don’t yer mean I took the heater upstairs? It took me all me time, but I lugged it up.’
‘Ah, I’m sorry, brother, I should have mentioned that,’ Ginny said. ‘Yer did a good job, ’cos I certainly couldn’t have lifted it, it was too heavy.’
There was affection in Andy’s eyes. ‘Women will rarely admit that men are much stronger than they are, will they, son? They’ll make use of us for things they can’t do, but yer’ll almost never hear them say we are the stronger sex.’
‘Physically yer might be,’ Beth conceded. ‘But when it comes to raising a family and keeping a house going, ye’re not in the meg specks. None of yer would last a week.’
Andy laughed. ‘I don’t know so much. I can make beds, and I believe Paddy is a wizard in the kitchen, so there’d only be the shopping and Dennis and Bill could manage that.’
‘Oh, so yer won’t be washing or ironing yer clothes, then?’ Beth asked. ‘And I noticed yer didn’t say who was going to peel the spuds, make a pan of scouse, or get on their knees and scrub the kitchen floor?’
Andy winked at his son. ‘One thing women are better at than men is talking their way out of sticky situations. So before I get meself involved in an argument I don’t stand a snowball’s chance of winning, I’m going to put me overalls back on and give the lads a knock. The sooner we make a start, the sooner we’ll be finished.’
‘It shouldn’t take yer long with the four of yer, should it?’ Beth was crossing her fingers under cover of the tablecloth as she prepared to tell a lie. ‘Not that it makes any difference to me, we’re only having sandwiches for our tea. I’ve got a lot of shopping to do, but I should be home by the time you are.’
‘It won’t take us long to put it up, just a matter of two hours at the most. But if ye’re going to take into account the number of times we stop for a warm, a cuppa and a fag, yer can add another hour on to that.’
‘Don’t forget yer’ve got to put the new bed up when yer’ve finished,’ Beth reminded him before giggling. ‘Being the weaker sex, we women couldn’t manage it.’
Andy pushed his chair back and said to Joey, ‘See what I mean, son? When it suits them, they’re the weaker sex. If it doesn’t suit them, they’re good at hitting yer on the head with the rolling pin.’
‘Me mam would never do that to yer,’ Ginny said while Joey nodded his head in agreement. Neither of them favoured one parent over the other, their love for both was equal. ‘Me and Joey are going down to give Mrs Bailey a hand with making yer cups of tea and taking them up to yer. It’ll save her legs, she said. And Joey’s going to keep the coal scuttle full so she doesn’t have to go down the yard.’
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‘That means we’ve all got a busy afternoon,’ Beth said. ‘So let’s clear away and get the dishes done. Many hands make light work.’ Then she raised her voice so it would carry through to the kitchen where Andy was. ‘Yer see, sunshine, there are some jobs men and women do very well together.’
But he had other things on his mind. His head popped around the door and he asked, ‘Ay, love, does Hannah know the partition is going to be plain bare wood?’
‘I haven’t said anything to her, and I doubt if she’s given it any thought. But it’s no big deal because me and Dot can put some wallpaper up for her. It only takes three strips each side, it should be a doddle.’ Then as though to press home a point, Beth added, ‘Even if we are the weaker sex.’
Andy reached for his donkey jacket. ‘I’m on me way before we start all over again. I’ll see yer later, love.’
‘Will yer tell Mrs Bailey me and Joey won’t be long?’ Ginny called. ‘Tell her we’re washing the dishes together to prove it’s possible for both sexes to work together in harmony.’
Andy chuckled as he opened the front door. ‘I’m not as poetic as you, love, and I’ll never remember all that. I’ll just tell her ye’re washing the dishes, that’ll do.’
‘And yer got that for seven and six?’ Dot asked in disbelief. ‘It’s got to be the best ruddy bargain I’ve ever seen.’
‘Sure, yer never spoke a truer word, me darlin’.’ Lizzie was feeling the material of Joey’s coat. ‘It’ll have cost a pretty penny when it was bought, right enough.’
The four friends, together with all their shopping, were crowded into Flo’s tiny kitchen as Beth proudly showed off her bargain. ‘I wouldn’t have got it only for Flo, though, she must take all the credit. I would never have found the stall if she hadn’t been with me.’
Flo’s bosom stood to attention while the wagging of her head from side to side told of her pleasure at the compliment. But she knew her two daughters, Amy and Wendy, were in the living room and they had a tendency to repeat everything they heard. So she put a finger to her lips. ‘Little pigs have big ears.’