by Casey Hays
What would Mona say?
I pause in my thinking, a deliberate halt. Mona will never say anything again. I made sure of it.
Suddenly, a deep sadness seeps in and forms a well around my heart, attempting to drown its beating. I catch a sob in my chest just before it escapes. Another person is dead because of me. I killed her, and I continuously shove the memory out because I don’t know how to live with it.
Tonight, I let it in. It hurts.
I roll onto my side and silently cry myself to sleep.
Chapter 29
Ian! Wake up!”
Wake up. Wake up!
The voice echoes in my dream, a frantic whisper.
“Ian!”
I am drifting along the river, floating flat on my back. The current suddenly sways with Ian’s name, jarring my body gently over the rippling water. The sun is beating strong; its glistening reflection smiles upward. It is so warm, strikingly so, and my face grows hot as the day wears on. And I feel so safe until . . .
“Ian! Wake up, dude!”
I peel my eyes open. Someone hovers over me in the first light of the morning. Justin. He nudges Ian again.
“What is it?” I ask. He ignores me and shakes Ian until he rolls onto his back, rubbing his eyes.
“What, man!” Ian grumbles, agitated.
“Get up,” Justin insists. “You need to see this.”
He scrambles to his feet and joins Max, who cautiously peers out the front window between what is left of the moth-eaten curtains. Fully alert now, Ian rises.
I fumble out of the sleeping bag, apprehension tickling the back of my neck, and I stand very still. At the window, Ian peeks out, and then rears back in certain shock.
“That’s Jeb!” he exclaims. He rubs a hand across the back of his neck.
“Yep,” Justin concedes.
“What is he doing here?”
“I don’t know,” Justin replies. “But he’s here. For whatever reason.”
“I don’t have a very good feeling about it.” Max peers cautiously at whomever or whatever causes them such concern. “That’s not a search party.”
Curiosity gets the better of me, and I stumble across the room to the window, kneading my way through the boys to reach the grimy glass. At least twelve to fifteen people loiter in the street just in front of the house dressed in a variety of rawhides and fur and denim. Men and women. Some with large bows or spears; others with hunting knives sheathed through their belts. And to my shock, they share one commonality.
They’re giants!
I stand aghast as I stare at the huge forms of these people.
“Are they . . . from Eden?” I choke out the question without thinking. They couldn’t be from anywhere else.
“That super-big guy is Jeb Anderson, the leader of this hunting expedition.” Ian points toward a man in a long, rawhide coat. “They were leaving the morning after I got back to Eden. Planning to head down south to look for elk.”
Worry eases into Justin’s dark eyes. “Do you think . . .” His voice trails. A sense of unease ripples through all of them so intensely that I feel it on the air.
“They weren’t able to get back into the city.” Max straightens as he finishes the sentence.
His words linger with electrifying realization, and they stall all conversation completely. I turn as the three of them stand still as night, their large frames huddled around me. Ian licks his lips.
“They’ve crossed the river,” he says quietly. “I don’t think Jeb would do that if he didn’t have a good reason.”
“Should we go out there?” Max asks.
Another tense wave of silence follows, and we stare through the tattered curtains together. The group outside disperses, separating by threes and fours and spreading out among the old houses in several different directions. It seems from their demeanor, they plan to investigate the dwellings.
“I’ll go,” Ian finally says, turning away from the window. “Jeb knows me best.”
“Wait, Ian.” Justin rubs at his cheek nervously. “I’m not sure that’s a good idea. I mean, we aren’t supposed to be here.”
“Neither are they.” Ian pulls on his shoes, not bothering to tie up the laces. “And if this has to do with that plane flying over Eden, we need to know.” He yanks a jacket from his backpack and slides into it. “I’ll be discreet.”
He unlocks the door and slips out.
My nerves stand on end. I pull back the curtain as he takes the front steps and makes his way over to the big man called Jeb who now stands in the middle of the street with only two others. When Ian approaches, they all turn startled, eyes widening in shock.
Ian talks, his hands moving quickly while all three men listen intently. And then he and Jeb leave the others behind and move alone back toward the house. I slip away from the window and kneel to shake Diana awake.
“Get up,” I whisper.
She rolls over to peer up at me through reddened eyes. Justin has filled in the half-awake Jesse, and he’s shrugging into his boots just as the door opens.
“What is it?” Diana asks, rubbing at her eyes.
“We have a visitor.”
Ian’s face is solemn as he ducks back through the door, followed by the largest man I have ever seen in my life. I hold my breath and rise to my feet as he bends low to enter the room. His frame fills the entrance, and the top of his head comes so close to the ceiling, it’s a wonder he can stand up straight. Diana struggles to a sitting position, wide awake at the sight of him.
“This is Jeb.” Ian waves a hand toward the hunter. The string of a shiny, black bow rests across the wide expanse of his chest, one end of the bow itself protruding from behind his shoulder. A beard hangs long from his chin, nearly touching his stomach and seems to cover every bit of his face and neck. And along with his sheer expression of surprise, he wears denim pants, a long-sleeved shirt, and a tanned raw-hide vest. He’s shed his coat, but a fur cap rests on his head. He scans our group, his eyes lingering on me and Diana a bit longer than the boys before he addresses Ian.
“What in the world are you all doing on this side of the river?” His voice booms out of him like thunder. His eyes land on Justin, full of recognition.
“We have that same question for you, Jeb,” Ian counters in place of an answer.
“That’s fair,” Jeb nods, scans our group again. “But those who have yet to finish their training get to start. Any takers?”
The boys are tall statues scattered around the room, each one of them, even with their sizes, shrinking in the shadow of this enormous man. I am in awe. I can’t peel my eyes from him, and fleeting images of the Archer skitter through my mind. If he were ever to materialize before me, is this what I might see? Diana stands and slips her hand into mine, and together we take in this anomaly.
“Who is he?” she whispers.
“Someone from Eden.”
“Do you remember when you lost me?” Ian’s voice sounds very similar to someone preparing for a scolding. He eyes Jeb warily while the big man cocks his head to the side and nods.
“Of course. I’ve never forgotten that, Ian. You were gone for months. We all thought you were dead.”
“Right.” Ian says. His remorse clings in the air around us. “I’ve been meaning to apologize for that, but in the process, I would have had to tell you I crossed the river then, too.”
Two bushy brows shift downward as Jeb angles in on Ian.
“You didn’t lose me. I just got bored. Curious, you know? So I rigged up a raft out of some timber, and I crossed. Once over here, I saw a stag just on the edge of the tree line. Bigger than anything I’d seen in my life. I thought I’d be a big hero if I came back with that thing. So I took off after it. I was planning on crossing back over a few hours later, but . . .”
“You got lost,” Jeb concludes.
“I got lost.” Ian’s jaw clenches imperceptibly at the lie, and my chest tightens. He doesn’t look at me.
“And this time
?” Jeb sweeps across the group again. “Did you decide to take a field trip? Or are you here for the same reason I am?”
“And what reason would that be?” Justin asks, and Jeb flicks his eyes.
“Oh no.” He targets Justin with a heavy scowl. “I’m asking the questions. Now you boys need to tell me why you were so bold as to cross the river when it’s forbidden.”
Ian winces, and I feel the blood drop clean out of my heart and hit my toes. My grip on Diana’s hand involuntarily tightens as we wait for what excuse Ian might weave. The fingers of her free hand steal in to encircle my wrist, and the tension mounts.
The other boys remain still, allowing Ian to take the lead, and when he doesn’t answer immediately, I fear the worst. But Ian recovers quickly from his hesitancy, and in an instant, he pours out such a believable story that I find myself tempted to accept it as truth.
“Look, I told the guys about my last trip over. Honestly, I think it’s pretty amazing on this side. I’ve seen more game than ever, and it’s not so barren. Not like the Board wants us to believe. I mean, sure, there’s not a whole lot of life, but this place is kind of nice. Peaceful. My friends wanted to see it, and I figured I wouldn’t get lost as easily with them along. So I brought them.”
His words spill out in one breath that is so rushed, I wonder at first if Jeb will believe him. He seems thoughtful, saying nothing. Ian fidgets only slightly before regaining his momentum.
“We know we shouldn’t have come. It was wrong, and we are willing to face our punishment the minute we get back, but we didn’t mean any harm. We’re just curious. That’s all.”
“And the girls?” He indicates us with a nod of his head. “Girls who haven’t shifted? What were you thinking? Better yet, how in the world did they convince their parents to let them out? That’s highly unusual.”
Ian clenches his jaw. He doesn’t seem to know what to say.
“We weren’t thinking,” Justin says, taking some of the burden from Ian’s shoulders. “And . . . we’re young, Jeb. We find ways to get away with things from time to time.”
Jeb half-shrugs, acquiescing to Justin’s argument as if this is a statement that can’t be denied. My chest aches from holding my breath, and I allow it to seep out of my lungs.
“How long have you boys been over here?” Jeb asks.
Ian shrugs. “A few weeks.” The boys grunt their agreement.
“Weeks?” Jeb frowns somewhere inside his beard. “Ian, I saw you a few days ago at the gate.”
“Yeah. And before that, I was over here. I made a run to Eden, and I came back.”
“Then . . . you don’t know.” Jeb’s voice fills with a turmoil that causes all of us to perk up.
“Know what?” Ian stiffens, and all of the boys shift into a nervous silence as if waiting on the edge of a precipice for a boulder to fall over the side and tumble to its resting place below.
“The reason I’m here.” Jeb’s frown deepens, and his expression speaks for itself. He has no desire to continue, but he does so anyway. “Eden is under some kind of siege.”
His gruff words echo inside each boy in unison. They stare at him, unblinking. Diana’s fingers loosen and then tighten up against my wrist.
“Well, you must be wrong,” Jesse finally retorts. He steps forward, his face a hard mask. “Eden is fortified. There’s no way it’s under siege. That’s impossible.”
Jeb tugs on his massive beard. “That’s where you’re wrong, son. I saw it with my own eyes.”
“Did you happen to see a plane?” Ian asks ever so tentatively.
Jeb pauses a beat, curiosity gleaming in his eyes.
“I did. Several, in fact.”
“So did I.” Ian visibly swallows, his throat muscles convulsing at the action. “And do you think they have something to do with this siege?”
Jeb is thoughtful. “I would have to say ‘yes’.”
“How is that possible, Jeb? Planes?”
Jeb shakes his head, clearly as dumfounded. “I have no idea.”
“What else did you see?” Justin inquires.
“As little as I possibly could. But enough to know not to go too near the place.”
“I don’t understand,” Jesse interjects, a scowl painted across his features. “Who would be stupid enough to do something like this? And why would they risk coming against Eden? They know they can’t win.”
“Do they?” Jeb’s bushy brows climb up to hide inside his dark hair. “Last I checked, even we are unequipped to combat planes. And whoever they are, they seemed to be doing a pretty decent job of overcoming the city.”
“What did you see exactly?” Ian asks again.
Jeb purses his pink lips just noticeable through all the hair on his face, and for a single moment, it doesn’t appear he plans to answer. He shifts his heavy weight, hikes the long, black bow a little higher onto one shoulder, and yanks characteristically on his beard.
“You’ve got to tell us,” Justin insists. “Our families are there. Please.”
Jeb huffs a large breath. “It was ugly, boys. Soldiers—thousands of them—dressed in solid black, divided into groups and lined up in straight rows on all sides of the city. A regular army.”
“But—” Jesse moves forward shaking his head in complete disagreement. “They can’t hurt us. I mean, not for long. What are they thinking? We are stronger than anybody in the entire territory. Why would they take this risk? And why didn’t you and your expedition go in to help?”
“You think me and my team of fifteen could take on an army of a thousand or more men?” Jeb shakes his head in dubious dejection. “Not going to happen, son. Even with our strength and our resistance to permanent injury, we couldn’t handle that many at once. Besides, we saw what they did to one team who tried to reenter the gate.”
“What did they do?” Ian takes up his bow where it leans against the wall as if he plans to launch an attack right this moment. His hand tightens on the grip, and I sense the safety he gains from feeling it solid against his skin.
I, on the other hand, have no security on which to lean, and the certainty that my knees are soon to give out causes me to sink to the floor, pulling Diana down with me. We are not safe. Wherever we go it will be the same. A thousand man army? This is unfathomable.
Jeb tugs once more on his beard. “I saw them shoot our people down. And they didn’t get back up.”
“What?” Ian’s shock echoes through all of them with a mutual gasp.
“They had guns,” Jeb continues. “Guns like we’ve never seen that shoot bullets faster than we can outrun them. Faster than anything our guards have. Our limited weaponry could never combat that. And like I said, that team didn’t get up.”
The silence that floods the room brings with it the first true hint of terror I have ever felt from any of these boys since they came back for me. It ricochets off the walls and jumps back at us in overwhelming gushes. And for the first time, I truly believe they have no idea what they should do.
“We have to get back.” Jesse’s single statement jolts all of us to our very cores, cutting through the tense atmosphere like a knife blade. He drops to his knees with a thud and begins rolling up his sleeping bag and shoving items into his pack. Ian looks to Jeb for a response.
“Did you not hear me, son?” Jeb takes two steps to hover over Jesse’s bent back. “Even if you can get close enough, you’ll never make it to the gate. And if you do, nobody will open it for you. Eden is shut down tight. For once the walls are truly keeping more than the toxin in.”
“I don’t care!” Jesse bounces to his feet. “We can’t just stay over here and let these soldiers keep our families locked inside like prisoners. What about the Serum? And what happens when our people run out of food or water? What then?”
“I don’t think I need to say it aloud, but I will.” Jeb shakes his head. “I have a nasty feeling the Serum is precisely what they’re after. What else could it be?” He sighs. “Look, I have family there, too.
A wife and three kids. Do you think I’m not worried sick over them? But we can’t go back without reinforcements of some kind. We’ll be slaughtered. And unfortunately, our reinforcements are inside that city.”
“Why would they be after the Serum?” Ian asks suddenly. And every one of us turns beseeching eyes on Jeb. “How would they even know about it? I mean, the Serum works hand in hand with the toxin. It would be useless outside of Eden. And that information is protected under the Code, anyway.”
“I have a suspicious feeling not everyone respects the Code,” Jeb says with a certain conviction. “Case in point, I’m looking as six of you right now who violated a portion of it without excuse. Although in light of what’s happening on the other side of the river,” he adds. “It’s a good thing you did.”
“But the Serum, Jeb?”
“We need a plan,” Justin whispers. He rubs a hand up and down his scruffy cheek as if this habitual action will render some kind of miraculous solution.
“I’ve got a plan,” Jesse exclaims. “I say we let them into Eden. Let them get exposed. The perfect remedy for wiping them out.”
“You know it doesn’t work like that,” Jeb says in answer. “We’ve seen babies live for months before the effects of the toxin kill them. And a force that big could do a lot of damage in the meantime.”
“We’re stronger than them,” Jesse insists.
“What does the toxin do to Outsiders?” Ian questions. “We just don’t know. We’ve never actually seen it in our generation because the toxin has always been contained. Babies either respond to the Serum and live . . . or they don’t. I mean, have any of us ever seen what toxin does to someone older than a year?”
“I have,” I suddenly speak out into the fray, and all eyes turn. “It doesn’t do anything.”
No one knows what to say to this, and my cheeks redden at being so forward. But it’s true. John never became ill the way Tabitha did. And John was inside Eden long enough.