‘He didn’t show,’ Syd says. ‘So I spent forty minutes delivering a pep talk about taking chances, about true love being hard to find, about it all being worthwhile in the end. Blah, blah, bleh.’ She crashes onto her bench. ‘Total hypocrisy.’
‘In short, you pimped yourself out for college,’ Kali says.
‘Exactly. Because if I can’t get into a good school, I’ll never escape my parents.’
I promise I’ll take care of the client myself on Saturday and offer to take Kali and Syd for dinner afterward, but Syd already has plans. The Maternity Ward is curating a photo exhibit of the real Banksy’s work. Syd’s been invited to the opening, and she’s taking her mom.
We wrap up our weekly meeting with two new rituals. First, we list our latest barter swag on eBay, and package up the sold items for shipping. Next, we divide up the contents of our cash box four ways: a quarter for each of us, and a quarter for the company, which goes into an old cookie tin to cover Love, Inc. expenses.
There’s a knock at the trailer door, and Kali barely has time to hide the tin before Brody bursts in on our meeting. I sink in my seat as he enters, remembering our last discussion.
‘You guys set me up.’ His deep voice bounces off the trailer walls and makes it feel even smaller. ‘That guy at the Spurs game was all over me.’ He tries to pace, but there’s only room for one stride.
‘Oh no, poor Dylan,’ Kali says.
‘Poor Dylan? How about poor Brody?’ he says, rolling up the sleeves of his Fiesta Mart shirt. ‘The JumboTron caught me fighting off the octopus. Now I’ll never get another date unless it’s with the concession guy. He saw us on screen and slipped me his number with my french fries.’
‘Maybe you should consider it,’ Kali says. ‘It’s been at least a week since you had a date.’
‘Did you get the photo?’ Syd asks.
‘Oh, I got the photo. Whoa.’ He stops pacing to stare at me. ‘Lookin’ hot, Red. Love the hair.’
‘Think of a new nickname,’ I say, to cover my embarrassment. ‘Red doesn’t fit anymore.’
Brody flips open his phone and displays our client’s boyfriend, Raphael, kissing Brody on the cheek.
‘Excellent work,’ Kali says.
Brody snaps his phone shut. ‘Well worth fifty bucks.’
‘We agreed on forty.’
‘That’s when you implied the prospect was female. Given the damage to my rep, fifty’s a bargain.’
‘He earned it,’ I say. ‘He got the job done even though we tricked him.’
‘I hope you’re not going soft because the guy paid you a compliment,’ Kali says.
‘Brody’s never paid me a compliment, and I agree with Z,’ Syd says.
Kali shrugs. ‘The majority has spoken.’
‘It’s been a pleasure doing business with you ladies,’ Brody says. He slides into my side of the banquette, purposely crushing me against the window. ‘Hey,’ he says, pointing to Kali’s laptop. ‘AwkwardFamilyPhotos. I love that site. Since when did you get so cool, Kal?’
‘It’s Zahra’s latest find,’ Kali says.
‘Glad you’re trying to lighten up, Red,’ he says. ‘And I’m still calling you Red, because this’ – he points to my hair – ‘is just surface. You can’t change what’s inside, so it’s highly unlikely that you’ll have more fun as a blonde.’
‘That’s not why I did it!’ Brody has a gift for pressing my buttons. ‘And I have plenty of fun. Not that it’s any of your business.’
He shakes his head. ‘There’s that tone again. I’m concerned, Red. How can you fix other people’s love trouble if you’re all bitter and harsh yourself?’
Kali leans across the table and punches her brother, but as usual, there’s an element of truth to what he says. I am feeling bitter about guys.
‘Sweet sells,’ he says. ‘Sugar-free didn’t work for Red’s baking, and it won’t work for your business either.’
‘A month ago you were dissing our business, and now you’re telling us how to run it?’ Kali asks.
‘That was before I knew how lucrative it could be. Besides, apart from getting pimped out to a guy, it was fun. So if you need stud services again, just ask.’
‘Actually,’ Kali says, ‘we could use a male opinion about a hypothetical client. What would you say about a guy who initially seems into a girl, but when he finally takes her out, it’s to do some volunteer work for a charity he supports?’
I must have flinched, because Brody turns to watch me with eyes that are as green as Kali’s but so much sharper. ‘I assume we’re talking about the totally hot, mediocre kisser here?’
Did he memorize every single detail of that conversation? What normal guy takes so much interest in relationships? ‘I never said mediocre.’
Kali tilts her head curiously. ‘You told Brody about Riaz?’
‘Not voluntarily! He eavesdropped while I was on the phone with my sister.’ I push open the little window beside me. I’m feeling flushed all of sudden. Brody seems to be radiating heat.
‘She was in my kitchen at the time,’ Brody says. ‘It was fair game.’
I squirm as much as I can, being crushed into the wall and all. ‘Can we not discuss this?’ I say.
‘Kali asked for my opinion on the hypothetical client, and I’m going to give it,’ he says. ‘I’m on the Love Stinks Auxiliary Squad now.’
‘What do you know about romance?’ Syd asks.
‘More than you guys,’ he says. ‘I didn’t get three-timed. And I’m not getting my chain yanked by some do-gooder.’
‘No, you’d rather go out with a ton of girls and never get serious about any of them,’ Kali says, seemingly oblivious to the fact she’s describing her own approach to dating.
‘Playing it safe makes you a coward, not an expert,’ I say.
Brody turns to his sister. ‘Did she just call me a coward?’
Syd’s voice drifts up from her bench. ‘Would you two like us to leave?’
‘Of course not,’ I say. ‘I’m done.’
‘Finally,’ Brody says. ‘Because in addition to being bitter, you talk too much.’
‘Brody, stop,’ Kali says. ‘This is a business. We don’t trash our hypothetical clients.’
‘Fine,’ he says. ‘But without all the details, it’s guesswork here. Either buddy is trying to impress this chick by looking like he’s some kind of humanitarian—’
Kali interrupts. ‘The guy does a ton of volunteer work for his community.’
‘OK. Then it’s probably important to him that a girl shares an interest in his causes.’
That’s one scenario I never considered.
‘So, he might like this girl after all,’ Kali says.
‘Possibly,’ Brody says. ‘But if I had it bad for a girl, I’d take her someplace she’d enjoy, not put her to work.’
I turn and release a sigh out the window. That makes sense. Even if it does crush what’s left of my pride.
‘If this girl’s not the humanitarian type, buddy’s just wasting her time anyway,’ Brody says.
‘Maybe she could be,’ I say. ‘She’s not shallow or anything.’
Brody slides out of the seat. ‘It’s not shallow to hold out for a great kisser. It’s common sense.’
I shiver as he takes the heat with him. Standing at the door, he takes off his jacket and tosses it to me.
‘If you want my advice, cut the guy loose,’ he says. ‘The do-gooder’s not good enough.’
Chapter Fifteen
Kali is leaning on the counter talking to René when I come out of the back room after my shift. Normally he’s in a big hurry to cash out on a Saturday, but today he can’t escape Kali’s endless chatter.
‘Night, René,’ I say, herding Kali toward the door. ‘Have fun at the dog show.’
‘Dog show?’ Kali whispers, looking over her shoulder. ‘Z, he likes dogs and he just said he’s into photography. He’d be perfect for—’
‘Your mom doesn’t wa
nt to be set up, Kali, and this is too close to home anyway. You know you can’t mix business with pleasure.’
She sighs. ‘It can get messy. I hate my guitar class now because I have to see that loser every week.’
We catch the bus to the community center to meet my ice-dancing client. I’m still suffering from a Riaz-induced crisis of confidence, so Kali offered to share her expertise in reading the signs of interest. Since she sees interest everywhere, I have my doubts.
Lily is still in sneakers when we arrive. She leads us to the locker room and introduces us to Jason, her dancing partner, and tells him we want to watch their practice. Jason, as tall and muscular as Lily is petite and lithe, welcomes us warmly. A nice guy. A good start.
‘Let us begin,’ Kali whispers in my ear. ‘Step one: Make sure he’s on the right team.’
Unzipping her jacket to reveal a low-cut sweater, Kali sits beside Jason on the bench and leans over to admire his figure skates. After a few minutes of small talk about their make and model, she saunters back.
‘All clear,’ she says, zipping up. ‘No straight man can resist a free peek. Now we can move on to step two: Observation.’
We stand a few yards away as Lily and Jason lace their skates and plan their workout. Jason leans over and checks Lily’s laces and tightens them for her.
‘Attentive,’ Kali whispers. ‘Check.’
They walk to the door together and Jason stands back to allow Lily to pass, his hand grazing her lower back.
‘Gratuitous contact,’ Kali says, continuing the play-by-play. ‘Nice.’
Lily cracks a joke about something, and Jason laughs and jokes back.
‘Anxious to please her,’ Kali says. ‘Sweet.’
We follow a few yards behind as they bounce toward the ice on their skate guards. Jason ‘accidentally’ nudges Lily into the boards and rights her. She punches his arm and he feigns pain.
‘Roughhousing,’ Kali says. ‘School-yard flirtation, basic.’
As they glide onto the ice, Jason lifts Lily up and spins her as if she were a doll. Lily squeals, and he spins faster.
‘School-yard flirtation, advanced,’ Kali says.
Putting Lily in a headlock, Jason calls back to us. ‘I hope this one can stay on her skates today. Sometimes she spends half the practice on her butt.’
‘Good, the faux dis,’ Kali tells me.
I shake my head. ‘How do you know this isn’t just an act he’s putting on for us?’
‘I’ll show you.’ Raising her voice, she calls, ‘Yeah, I heard Lily’s a bit of a klutz.’
Jason releases Lily and turns to stare at Kali. ‘I was just kidding,’ he says. ‘Lily’s a great dancer – totally elegant.’
‘Spontaneous chivalrous defense,’ Kali whispers. Raising her voice again, she calls, ‘Well, looking good is half the battle, right? And Dan says she’s smokin’.’
Jason’s hand drops off Lily’s shoulder. ‘Who’s Dan?’
‘Don’t worry,’ Kali says. ‘He’s just a friend.’
Laughing, Lily skates out to center ice and Jason follows. They take up positions opposite each other, the music starts, and suddenly it’s all business.
‘Step three: Conclusions,’ Kali says. ‘Simple. All signs point to interest.’
Sitting on the sidelines, it was totally obvious that Jason’s into Lily. ‘But why isn’t he doing something about it?’
Shrugging, Kali says, ‘It’s probably what you said earlier, about mixing business and pleasure. Maybe he’s afraid of ruining their chemistry on the ice with chemistry off the ice.’
We watch as they twirl and swirl around the rink, mostly touching, yet still apart.
‘It’s beautiful,’ Kali says. ‘Foreplay on skates.’
‘They should just leave it for now,’ I decide. ‘They can’t afford to mess it up before state finals.’
‘I don’t know,’ Kali muses. ‘When there’s this kind of tension, something’s gotta give. If one of them gets frustrated and starts seeing someone else, it’ll mess them up anyway. Meanwhile, they could be dating each other and steaming up the arena.’
I’m still not convinced. ‘They’re a team. What if dating throws everything off balance?’
‘They’ll bounce back. It’s like I keep saying: if you sit in the stands, life passes you by. You gotta get out there and skate for glory.’
‘OK, you win,’ I say. ‘Let’s see if I can spin them in the right direction.’
When the music stops, I wave Jason and Lily over and ask if they’re busy after practice. When two heads shake, I pull movie premiere passes out of my pocket and hand one to each. ‘My dad got these from a client, and we can’t use them.’
Kali has come up behind me and she’s not leaving any room for error. ‘In case either of you is wondering, this is a date.’
Jason looks at Lily and smiles. ‘Sounds good to me.’
Lily does a pirouette and skates off. ‘Gotta catch me first.’
‘And that,’ Kali says, watching them careen around the ice, ‘is how you mix business with pleasure.’
The Maternity Ward has basically turned into a nightclub for the Banksy photo exhibit. A DJ is spinning tunes, and waiters in long white aprons are weaving through the fashionable crowd, offering appetizers and glasses of wine on silver trays. I’m so glad we crashed it. I’ve never been to anything so slick and sophisticated in my life.
Luckily, I wore the coolest dress I own. It’s a short, silky black shift with a bold, geometric pattern in a soft green and yellow. I’m wearing it with a wide black belt, black leggings, and green flats. I bought the dress on a whim last summer, and afterward it felt too hip and edgy for me, so I never wore it. Tonight, though, it feels just right. If I can crash a party in this dress, I must be gaining some confidence.
Kali gazes around, looking as dazzled as I feel. ‘Sure beats the movies,’ she says, biting into a quesadilla. ‘There are lots of hot guys here, so if Syd’s mom bails, the food and scenery will help.’ Kali is catching a lot of looks tonight in a gray miniskirt, black boots, and sleeveless silk turtleneck in her trademark green.
Syd’s mom doesn’t make good on many of her promises, and she’s gotten worse since Charlotte came on the scene. Online dating is Mrs Stark’s main priority now, but Syd still thinks tonight’s a sure thing, because her mom knows that Banksy (the artist, not the dog) outranks God in Syd’s universe.
Kali and I have seen Syd let down so many times that we decided to show up for moral support, just in case. As we scan the crowd for a glimpse of Syd, Kali plucks a wineglass from a passing tray. Before she can raise the glass to her lips, however, a guy with the face of a movie star and the physique of a body builder arrives to take it from her. ‘ID first,’ he says.
Kali stands up straight in her heels to look him in the eye while she opens her purse. ‘If you insist.’
‘Just understand that I’m trained to recognise a forgery when I see it,’ he says.
Kali closes her purse again. ‘Are you a bouncer or something?’
‘An art historian. Steven Quo,’ he says, holding out his hand. ‘The curator of this event.’
I shake his hand next and say, ‘Sorry for crashing, Steve. We’re just here to support our friend Sydney. She’s a huge Banksy fan.’
‘Ah, Syd,’ he says. ‘She’s a fine artist in her own right.’
Since Syd’s street art is anonymous, I’m not sure how to respond.
He winks at me. ‘It’s OK; I’m in on the secret. Syd’s so talented that I’ve offered her space in my gallery if she ever decides to work on canvas.’
Steve turns to another guest. It’s the videographer we saw on our first visit here. She’s in the same kimono, only it’s been cut off at the thighs and paired with dark green tights and high black boots. Pirate meets Geisha.
‘Wow,’ a voice behind me exclaims. I turn and see Sinead grinning at me. ‘You are looking good!’
To my surprise, Leo is standing beside her.
‘Have you ever considered modeling for the arts?’ he asks, grinning.
‘What are you guys doing here?’ I ask. ‘Together?’
Sinead laughs. ‘Don’t worry, your good work hasn’t been undone.’ She waves to a pretty girl who’s approaching with three drinks. ‘Leo’s here with his new girlfriend. I just came over to say hi.’
Kali and I wish them well and move off through the crowd in search of Syd. Finally we spot her leaning against a bar, drinking something pink from a martini glass. She looks great, in smoky blue leggings, gold flats, a short black skirt, and a halter top she made out of an old Pearl Jam concert T-shirt. At her feet, Banksy looks dashing in a white T-shirt and black bow tie.
‘Who’s she talking to?’ Kali asks, eyeing the tall guy whose back is to us. ‘He’s got a nice butt.’
He’s got a nice face too, because it’s Eric Skinner. His wavy hair may be buzzed short, but I’d know that ass anywhere.
‘Crap!’ Kali says, clueing in. ‘What’s he doing here?’
‘And why is Syd talking to him?’ I ask. ‘Oh my God, she’s laughing.’
Syd is indeed chuckling over something Eric is saying. My disbelief turns to fury. After all we’ve been through together over Eric, how can she be having fun with him? Emotions bubble up in me so fast that for a moment, I can’t speak. I’m angry and hurt and maybe even a little jealous. If Eric still has the power to make me jealous, I haven’t made as much progress as I thought.
‘Let’s go,’ I tell Kali. ‘Four’s a crowd.’
‘Wait,’ Kali says. ‘She owes us an explanation.’
‘What’s to explain?’ I ask. ‘She’s obviously still seeing Eric and lying to us about it.’
Kali shakes her head. ‘They can’t be back together.’
But when Eric puts his hand on Sydney’s shoulder, she doesn’t bite it off at the wrist. Anything less than a bleeding stump is an outright betrayal of our friendship.
I’m glad to see the buzzed-off hair doesn’t suit Eric at all. His head looks misshapen. Dented. I wish I’d known what was under that hair before. It would have made getting over him a lot easier. His jeans don’t fit as well as they used to, either. I haven’t seen him in ages, because I walk the long way to the bus stop to avoid passing his music store. Once, when I saw Miss Daisy in the distance, I ducked behind a Dumpster.
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