by Jos
“Excuse me, Mrs Lazarus, but did you mention Pochep just now?” Papa asked shyly.
“Yes, I did. That’s where Mirrie and I come from. My friend gave me a lovely drawing of Pochep before we left. Do you know it?”
“I knew a bookseller from Pochep, a real scholar. He often came to our little town.”
“Then you must mean my father, Mendel Marshak!” Mrs Lazarus smiled proudly.
“You’re…you’re Mendel’s daughter?” Papa blurted out in surprise. “Really?”
Mrs Lazarus nodded and smiled.
“I knew Mendel very well. If I didn’t have enough money to buy the books I wanted, Mendel always let me pay for them whenever I could.”
Becky looked at her father in amazement. She couldn’t remember the last time he was so talkative.
“By the way, Mr Feldman,” Mrs Lazarus said, pointing to Bubbe’s pot on the table. “I really must explain about the mix up of the cholents.”
The girls looked at each other. What if Yossie blurted out that Mrs Lazarus’s cholent was better than Bubbe’s? They couldn’t take the risk, they had to act quickly. Mirrie opened the door. Becky grabbed Yossie, put her hand gently over his mouth and led him outside. They closed the door quietly behind them.
Flat 74 Rothschild Buildings,
Brick Lane,
Whitechapel,
London.
Saturday 28th November 1908
Dear Mama,
The Secrets Of My Heart! You would have been proud of me today, because this is the first time one of my meddling plans has worked out. When Papa marries Mrs Herring Haffner I’ll go and live with Mrs K, Mirrie and Mrs Lazarus. She is very keen on education just like you were, so I’ll be able to go on working for a scholarship. Papa has met her now so I don’t think he’ll mind so much. He hasn’t said anything about his meeting with Rabbi Meyer. I just wish I knew what was going on. The bullies here have been taunting me shouting, “Good Shabbos, Rebecca Haffner!” I try my best to ignore them but, deep down, I get upset. I miss you very much.
All my love, God bless.
Yours faithfully,
Rebecca Feldman.
Chapter 12
“Pooh! This wintergreen stuff stinks of a hospital!” Becky wrinkled her nose and held the tin out as far away from herself as she could stretch.
“Smell or no smell, it’s eased the pain in my legs,” Bubbe told her. “Mrs Lazarus said she’d come down later on and rub some more on for me. What a godsend she was to me yesterday!” Bubbe nodded and smiled. “D’you know, Becky, she told me she’s started a little catering business up there, making hot dinners for some friends of hers and a few others. I’m sure those men will appreciate a hot meal, don’t you?”
Becky nodded. “Meg told me all about it. She goes up there to help Mrs Lazarus. Where’s Papa?”
“He’s gone to a meeting, then he said he’s going upstairs to meet Mrs Lazarus’s friends – Dov and Alex I think she said they were called. He might stop and have a bite to eat with them. They haven’t been here very long, so they may have news of our relatives in Russia. They say no news is good news,” Bubbe sighed, “but I’m not so sure about that and…”
A knock on the door stopped her mid-sentence.
“Hello! It’s only me!” Auntie Essie popped her head round the door.
“I heard you hadn’t been well, Bubbe, so I called to see how you’re keeping. Just look who I’ve got with me, Becky!”
Becky, expecting Hester, was surprised to see Dora Haffner standing by the front door, shuffling her feet. She looked uncomfortable. What’s got into Auntie Essie, bringing her here? she asked herself. She nodded at Dora, who managed a weak smile.
“Dora is Mrs Haffner’s youngest girl, Bubbe.” Auntie Essie explained. She turned to Becky. “I just happened to see her on my way here. She’s going to the market to do a few errands for her auntie, so I thought you two girls could go together. That’ll be nice for you, won’t it?”
Becky didn’t answer; she couldn’t think of anything worse.
“Here you are,” Auntie Essie rummaged in her purse, “buy a little treat for yourself and Yossie. I’ll stay with Bubbe and heat up some chicken soup I’ve brought for her.”
“I’ve got a lot of homework to finish before tomorrow,” Becky grumbled, desperate to wriggle out of her aunt’s plans. “I’ve…I’ve got a sore throat,” she added lamely.
“It won’t take long, Becky dear. You can have a hot drink and do your homework when you get back. Now go along with Dora. I’m sure you’ll enjoy having a chat.”
I certainly won’t, Becky felt like shouting. In spite of her excuses, she would be forced to listen to Dora’s chatter whether she liked it or not.
Dora wasted no time. “When your father and my mother get…” she began, as soon as they were out of the building. She stopped, then began again. “I mean to say, when you all come to live with us, Sophie says we’re going to be four in our bed. If you don’t like that then you’ll have to sleep on the floor.”
“I’ll let you know,” Becky muttered, shuddering at the thought. Deep down she couldn’t help comparing her choices! She was sure that when the time came to leave home, she’d get a comfortable bed and a warm welcome from Mrs K, Mrs Lazarus and Mirrie.
“My Auntie Zelda spoils me. I’m her favourite, y’know,” Dora prattled on. “Look what she gave me for doing a few jobs,” she boasted, taking a handful of coins out of her apron pocket. “She wants me to stay for dinner. She’s a very good cook, y’know. Much better than my mother, but don’t tell her I said so,” she giggled. “Auntie Zelda used to cook for us when my father died. She doesn’t so much now, only on special occasions.”
“Special occasions?” Becky repeated, suddenly becoming very interested.
“Well y’know, if we’ve got important guests on Shabbos. She cooked for us once when Mama invited Abe Klein and this horrible man for dinner. It was a while back now, but I’ll never forget that when he said grace after the meal he made it last for over half an hour!”
Becky could feel her heart racing with excitement. “And… and…when we came to dinner?” she asked, forcing herself to make her voice sound casual. “Was that a special occasion?”
“Course it was,” Dora grinned. “Mama’s always very busy in the shop these days, so she asked Auntie Zelda to make the cholent for her. She wanted to show off a bit, y’know. Well, there’s no harm in that, is there?” she asked. She stopped suddenly and put her hand over mouth. “Oh me and my big mouth!” she gasped. “I forgot, I’m not supposed to say anything about that. You won’t tell, will you Becky?” she pleaded.
Becky didn’t answer. Dora’s news came like a flash of lightning. It’s true, it’s true, she felt like shouting it out. Mrs Haffner didn’t make that cholent! Dora had let the cat out of the bag, and she would never know how grateful Becky was. She had to tell Papa before it was too late. This news just had to make him change his mind.
“I…I’ve got to go home,” Becky stammered.
Dora looked surprised. “I thought you were going to buy something for your brother?”
“I’ll give him the money instead. He can buy his own treat. I’ve really got to get home, I’ve got a headache.”
“You won’t tell anyone what I said, will you?” Dora asked again.
What can I say? She asked herself. She didn’t like telling lies, even though she’d been guilty of it recently. She had to find a good way round it.
“Don’t worry about it. D’you know what my mother used to say?”
Dora shook her head.
“It’s water under the bridge, now.”
“What d’you mean?”
“It’s best forgotten.”
Bubbe stirred two teaspoonsful of honey into a cup of hot water.
“Here, Becky, sip this slowly, it’ll soothe your sore throat.”
“Thanks,” Becky croaked. “Where’s everyone?”
“Yossie’s downstairs playing. A
untie Essie’s gone home, she changed my bandages before she went.”
“Didn’t Mrs Lazarus come?” Becky asked.
“No, she didn’t. Perhaps she was too busy and forgot.”
“That’s not like her. Anyway, I’ve got to go upstairs to tell Mirrie something, so I’ll find out. Is Papa still upstairs?”
“No, he came back a while ago and then went off again to ask Moishe if he would help him make some stools for Mrs Lazarus. Her little business is growing, she needs more seating for her customers. Don’t stay chattering too long, Becky dear. You look a bit flushed. I’ll make you another honey drink when you get back.”
Becky’s head throbbed and her legs felt strangely heavy as she dragged her feet slowly up the stairs. She couldn’t wait to tell Mirrie the news, she would be as excited as Becky was. The gossips in the public baths had been right all along about Mrs H. Dora had admitted that her mother was a bad cook; would Papa really change his mind about getting married when Becky told him? She knocked and waited, then knocked again. The next door neighbour opened her door and looked out.
“It’s no use banging on the door, there’s no one there!”
Becky frowned. “Perhaps they’ve gone to the market. I must have missed them.”
The woman shook her head. “No, they didn’t have time to go to the market, they were too busy. As soon as they’d cleared up, they packed their bags and left!”
Flat 74 Rothschild Buildings,
Brick Lane,
Whitechapel,
London.
Sunday 20th December 1908
Dear Mama,
I haven’t written to you for weeks and weeks because I’ve been very ill with diphtheria. I don’t remember much about it, except shivering one minute, sweating the next and crying with the pain in my head and my sore throat. I must have had a very high fever ‘cos a bed was made for me on the living room floor near the fire as it was too cold in the bedroom. Yossie told me that Papa was so worried about me he sent for Doctor Simons, who arrived in his pony and trap! Now that’s a piece of gossip which must have spread like a forest fire! The doctor charged two shillings and sixpence – that’s half a week’s rent! Papa must have borrowed the money to pay him. I think it included the cost of the medicine. It had such a horrible taste, I wouldn’t have paid a penny for it!
Yossie had to stay at Auntie Essie’s because diphtheria’s catching. He was so good. He came every day, opened the front door a tiny bit and called out any news for me. He told me that on the day I got sick, Mrs Lazarus and Mirrie had rushed off to Liverpool for Mrs K’s brother’s funeral. When they got back, Mrs Lazarus and Auntie Essie took it in turns to nurse me. Mrs K brought food for Bubbe and at lunch time Papa popped in to see me and then went upstairs to eat with the young men. I missed Mirrie and Meg. I couldn’t stop crying when they weren’t allowed to come near me.
I look absolutely awful. I’m as thin as a poker and I’ve got blue shadows under my eyes. My face is the colour of putty and my hair is, well just ugh! I’ve missed a lot of school but I’ll catch up, don’t worry.
Now – for the Secrets Of My Heart. I think my being so ill stopped Papa from making any more wedding plans. It can’t be long now because Yossie told me he’s been to see the rabbi again. I still haven’t been able to tell Papa about Mrs H and the cholent because I got sick the day Dora told me.
Very Special Secrets Of My Heart! Mrs Lazarus has been like a second mother to me. I wish she was and I wish I’d introduced her to Papa before Abe Klein changed our lives. It’s too late now.
All my love, God bless.
Yours faithfully,
Rebecca Feldman.
Chapter 13
“Becky, look at this!” Meg stood on the stairs waving something in her hand.
“America! See?” she said, pushing a photo in Becky’s hand. “It’s Noo…something. I can’t read the rest of it.”
“It’s a picture postcard of New York,” Becky told her. “All those tall buildings are called ‘skyscrapers’ I think. Where d’you get it?”
“From the new feller what’s just come all the way from America. Wasn’t that kind of ‘im?”
“I don’t know who you mean.”
“‘Ershel they call ‘im, I think. Yeah, that’s right. ‘Ershel.”
Hershel! Becky felt the colour drain from her face. She’d forgotten all about him. “Has he come to live in England?”
“Dunno. I think ‘e’s got a room in the next building. But ‘e’s ever so nice, just like one of the family. You should see ‘im ‘elpin Mrs Lazarus dish out the dinners for the young men! If you ask me, I think ‘e’s very sweet on ‘er,” she grinned, giving Becky a knowing look.
“Sweet on her?” Becky repeated. “You mean…you mean?” she stammered.
Meg nodded, “No doubt about it. It’s as plain as the nose on my face!” she said. “I’d best get a move on. Mrs Lazarus’ll wonder where I’ve got to. Wait, just a minute, I forgot to tell you somethin’ else. Guess who waved at me today?”
Becky shrugged.
“Your Dad!” Meg grinned. Wasn’t that nice of ‘im?”
“Was he going back to work?”
“Dunno. ‘E was standing at the corner, talkin’ to a tall man.”
“Did he have a red handkerchief hanging out of his pocket?” Becky asked, dreading Meg’s answer.
Meg thought for a moment. “Yeah. Come to think of it, ‘e did. Funny lookin’ bloke.”
Becky felt crushed.
“You alright, Becky? You’ve gone all pale. What you need is a nice hot cup of tea to perk you up a bit. I’d make it for you myself if I wasn’t in such a rush. I’ll tell Mirrie I’ve seen you. She’s a right good little ‘elp to her mother. Bye.”
So that’s it, Becky thought, cupping her hands round her hot drink. That’s it. Papa had been talking to Abe Klein, which means he’s finally decided to marry Mrs Haffner. In spite of everything Becky had tried to do, it was all over. “Over,” she whispered to herself. If that was the worst news ever, there was more to come. Hershel had come here to marry Mrs Lazarus; that would change everything. If he didn’t want her to live with them, she’d have nowhere to live. All her plans had been shattered in one go. There was nothing left to hope for now. It’s all over, Becky Feldman, you tried your best, but it’s all over now. What was it that Hester had told her? “You’ll just have to make the best of it.”
She didn’t know how long she sat staring into the fire, when suddenly, something seemed to snap inside her. Wild thoughts raced round in her mind. She sat up and took a deep breath. No it’s not over yet, she whispered, not yet, not yet!
“Bubbe, I’ve just remembered something. I’ve got to go and see Papa. It’s very important. It’s about school,” she lied.
“But you’ve just got in! Don’t go out again dear, you’ve been so poorly and it’s cold enough for snow. I can feel it in my bones. Your father’ll be home soon, surely it can wait.”
“No, no, that’s just it, it can’t wait!” She grabbed her shawl and scarf and was down the steps and running along the street before she could change her mind.
Bubbe was always right about the weather. Flurries of snow came swirling down from every direction and glistened in the light of the street lamps. Becky blinked as snowflakes brushed her eyelids and slid down her cheeks. The first layer of snow always reminded her of the smooth, white icing on a cake. Everywhere looked clean and bright, except for the grey slush splattering her skirt as the buses and horses and carts rumbled along the street.
She ran on and on until a stitch in her side forced her to stop. A small, scared voice niggled inside her. You’re crazy, Becky Feldman, and not only that, you’re stark staring mad. Give up and go home.
Just as she was on the point of turning round, her courage came flooding back. IT’S NOT OVER YET she shouted to herself as she pressed on. Papa would have to listen to her now, he had to. She didn’t care what happened to her after that.
She ba
nged hard on the door of the workshop and waited. She could feel her heart throbbing against her ribs.
“I’ve got to speak to my father, Jacob Feldman,” she said breathlessly to the foreman. “It’s very urgent.”
“You’d best wait inside. I’ll fetch him,” he said.
Becky watched her father walking quickly towards her. He looked worried. “Right, Becky Feldman,” she muttered through clenched teeth, “this is your very last chance!”
“What’s the matter? Is Bubbe bad again?”
“No, she’s alright. I must talk to you, Papa.”
He frowned.
“What, now? Here, at work? Can’t it wait until we get home?”
“NO, NO, NO!” she shouted. “That’s the trouble. It can’t wait. I must talk to you NOW!”
Without a word, Papa grabbed her arm and walked out of the workshop. They sheltered under the entrance porch.
“Papa,” she began, her words tumbling out in a rapid torrent, “I know I shouldn’t meddle in grown ups’ business, but I’ve just got to. I’m nearly eleven and I understand things better now. I’ve got to tell you that Mrs Haffner cheated; she got someone else to make that delicious cholent, so you’d think she was a good cook. I hate Sol Haffner, he’s a liar and a bully. I just couldn’t live in that house after what he did to me. I wouldn’t be able to work for a scholarship either and you know how much Mama wanted me to try for it. If you marry Mrs Haffner, I’m going to run away.”
Becky stopped to get her breath back. She looked up at her father. His face was hidden in the shadows. She could hear him breathing quietly, but he said nothing.
“Papa,” she went on, “I’ve lied, I’ve been rude and cheeky and answered you back and made you feel ashamed of me but…but it’s because I have feelings, too. Mrs Haffner isn’t like Mama is she? I’m sure you won’t be happy and Yossie and me won’t be either. I’ve tried so hard to tell you, but you never, never listen to me. Mrs Lazarus has been like a second mother to me, especially when I was ill. I…I switched the cholents that Shabbos, because I wanted to introduce you to her so I could go and live with her and Mirrie and Mrs K when you got married. When I saw that you both got on so well, I thought you’d want to marry her instead of Mrs Haffner. But now…” she choked, “but now,” she went on, “everything’s gone wrong. You’re too late, Papa” she cried. “Meg told me that Mrs Lazarus’s friend Hershel from America is very sweet on her. I think he’s come here to marry her. If Hershel doesn’t want me to live with them, I’ve got nowhere to go. Nothing ever seems to go right for me anymore, and…and…my boots are letting in water, and I’ll get pneumonia and die and then you’ll be sorry!” she sobbed, her whole body heaving and shaking.