by Jo Mazelis
‘No,’ the teacher says. ‘Start again.’
Another week. Weary now. This is a glass mountain. This is spinning straw into gold. Impossible. More girls are graduating to the sewing machines. One is standing by the mirror as the teacher ties the apron in a bow around her waist. Both beam with happiness.
Why do her stitches misbehave? To her they look straight enough, even enough and once the seam has been fed through the machine these temporary stitches will be removed and forgotten.
Where is Rumpelstiltskin when you need him?
This is her fate forever.
Charles Lamb’s sister Mary was a mantua maker, stabbing her needle in, her needle out, in the dying, desperate winter light. Then one day she stitched her mother with a knife.
It is quite possible to drive a woman mad with too much stitching.
Next to her at the sewing table is Jane Thomas. Jane Thomas has just turned thirteen. She has black shiny hair, sallow skin, brown eyes. She is sturdily built with breasts already evident under her grey pullover.
Jane is whispering urgently, telling unbidden tales of her life to her pale childlike companion.
‘I went with Shalto Davies last night,’ she hisses. ‘We went around the back of the club and he…’
The words that followed were graphic, crude, shocking. They described an intimacy. An exploration of … with … not his ‘thing’ but a finger.
‘And he said I had a … like a…’
The last word was astonishing.
Metaphors. They had studied them.
A cloud like cotton wool.
Green as grass.
It was the ‘c’ word the girl said he had used.
Can these be the words of love? The true words of love and not the ones in all the pop songs sung by those spangle-eyed boys.
Love, love me do. Pretty woman. Young girl.
And what metaphor pray, did her ardent suitor employ? What velvety flower; pink and secret? What bee-kissed bud, its unopened petals damp with dew?
The needle goes in, comes out. No wonder her line of stitching is uneven, erratic.
Q. Why is virginity like a balloon?
A. One prick and it’s gone!
She doesn’t yet understand jokes like that. Yes, prick a balloon and it explodes into withered shreds, but the rest is mysterious.
Jane is delighted by the story she is telling. Thrilled.
So what was the metaphor?
‘Bucket.’
Cold. Hard. Capacious. Rattling. Tinny. Empty. Rhymes with…
At the pantomime a month ago, a thin sorry-looking man and his monstrous outsized wife performed a duet.
‘There’s a hole in my bucket,
Dear Liza, dear Liza …’
‘Well, fix it!
Dear Henry, dear Henry!’
Who shall we be when we are grown? Where are our role models?
Even then, in her startling innocence and ignorance, Jane’s words didn’t sound right. She kept her eyes on the fabric, raw edges fraying from too much handling, listening to her friend who is boastful, proud of this summation of a secret part of her anatomy.
A mantua maker could never quite earn enough to make ends meet. Often she was forced to resort to the streets and prostitution.
Unpick that.
Start again.
And again.
On into infinity. Never finish the row of tacking, never graduate to the sewing machine, never complete that gingham apron. Fail at everything.
But listen. Listen.
Flowers, leaves, branches all reach for the sun. Nothing ends yet. It may be only the beginning.
About the Author
Jo Mazelis is a novelist, short-story writer and essayist. Her collection of stories Diving Girls (Parthian, 2002) was shortlisted for the Commonwealth Best First Book and Wales Book of the Year Awards. Her second book, Circle Games (Parthian, 2005), was longlisted for Welsh Book of the Year. Her first novel Significance (Seren, 2014) was a winner of the Jerwood Fiction Uncovered Award in 2015. Jo was born in Swansea where she currently lives. Originally trained at Art School, she worked for many years in London in magazine publishing as a freelance photographer, designer and illustrator, including on Spare Rib and City Limits, before studying for an MA in English Literature. She has had numerous short stories in anthologies and listed for awards, including five shortlistings for the Rhys Davies short-story prize. Several of her stories have been broadcast on Radio 4.
Acknowledgements
‘Caretakers’ was published in The Wish Dog (Honno), ‘Mechanics’ will be published in Eto in 2016, ‘The Murder Stone’ appeared in Litro, ‘Word Made Flesh’ was published by Wales Arts Review, ‘Velvet’ in Southword, ‘The Green Hour’ in The Lonely Crowd, ‘Storm Dogs’ in A Flock of Shadows (Parthian), ‘Mrs Dundridge’ and ‘The Flower Seller’ in Eagle in the Maze (Cinnamon Press) ‘Levitation, 1969’ in New Welsh Short Stories (Seren), ‘Whose Story is this Anyway?’ and ‘The Twice Pricked Heart’ in The Lonely Crowd, ‘The Moon and the Broomstick’ in Sing Sorrow Sorrow (Seren).
Significance
by Jo Mazelis
Pb £9.99
Seren 2014
ISBN: 9781781722930
Winner of the Jerwood Fiction Uncovered prize 2015
‘With Significance Mazelis has set her novel-writing bar at a breathtaking height.’ – Rachel Trezise, Agenda
Lucy Swann is trying on a new life. She’s cut and dyed her hair and bought new clothes, but she’s only got as far as a small town in northern France when her flight is violently cut short. When Inspector Vivier and his handsome assistant Sabine Pelat begin their investigation, the chance encounters of her last days take on a new significance.
Lucy’s death, like a stone thrown into a pool, sends out far-reaching ripples, altering the lives of people who never knew her as well as those of her loved ones back home.
Seren is the book imprint of
Poetry Wales Press Ltd
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© Jo Mazelis, 2016
The right of Jo Mazelis to be identified as the author of this work has been asserted in accordance with the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act, 1988.
ISBNs
Pback – 978-1-78172-305-0
Ebook – 978-1-78172-307-4
Kindle – 978-1-78172-306-7
A CIP record for this title is available from the British Library.
All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted at any time or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording or otherwise without the prior permission of the copyright holder.
The publisher acknowledges the financial assistance of the Welsh Books Council.
Cover: Self-portrait, London, 1984, Jo Mazelis