by Janie Marie
Death finally came to a stop but did not speak. Instead, he turned to watch the discarded leaves disappear into the dark depths of the lake. He already knew which leaves were to be plucked, even before the angel at his side. There were so many now, floating aimlessly in the darkness. Waiting.
“Hello, Death.”
“You know why I have come.” Death still didn’t look at him. “Tell me what you know and try to keep your opinions to a minimum. I’m in a hurry.”
“I am sure you are. You never could stand being away from her.” His mentor smiled. “All right. I will tell you what I have learned. You will not like it.”
“Speak now.”
The man sighed but did as he was told. “Lucifer is commanding most of the cursed immortals. Many of the Greeks and southern clans, as well as several other nations to the east, follow him. The few who still hold good hearts have fled to avoid confrontation. There is no telling what they will do, though.
“Along with Lancelot and Fallen, several demon armies aid him. I am sure you are aware of Hermes and Ares being nearby?” Death nodded. “Well, they are changing humans who have yet to be claimed by the plague.”
“They’re creating an army,” Death said.
The man nodded. “Yes. Nyx tells me Thanatos and Mania have been spotted in various towns near your female.” Death eyed him but stayed quiet. “Nyx has failed to locate Pestilence, and the others have not been successful in locating the rest of Hell’s Lieutenants.” Death made an irritated noise and waited for him to continue. “Most of us do not place blame on your brother. Nor should you. Be patient; we will know who is behind this when we find him.
“Pestilence aside, Nyx also reports Lycaon is being hunted in Germany by the Norse. This is not Lucifer’s doing, Death. He is following orders.” That had Death’s attention. “I do not think Lucifer desires any of this, but you know him, his own jealousy and pride cause him to make foolish choices. Although this is someone else’s bidding, he will attempt to destroy Arthur and his knights, including Jane. You should never have bargained the girl with him.”
Death looked away from the disappointed expression on his mentor’s face. He knew that to be true, but he didn’t want to admit his faults regarding Jane’s well-being to anyone.
She always forgave him, though. She welcomed him back with open arms, just like she did every time he failed her. He smiled to himself as he thought over their recent reunion until he heard a light laugh.
“It amazes me what the love of a woman will do to a man—mortal or not.”
“Anything else?” Death asked, not willing to discuss Jane.
“This is more than even you can handle alone.”
“I will bring down Lucifer,” Death said, clenching his fist. “He will not win her, and any other fool who so much as thinks about harming Jane, will beg for my mercy when I come for their life.”
A sad smile formed on his mentor’s lips as he lay his hand on Death’s shoulder. “I am not Father; I do not know why you have attached to this woman, but I fear your bond with her is not meant to be. They say she is the mate of the knight. He has been alone for centuries, and all have wondered why. Then it turns out the very soul destined to be his has already fallen in love with you. Why would you interfere with a union as destined as theirs?”
Death sighed and looked up at the tree behind them. “Call me if you locate my brother.” He looked back at his mentor. “As always, I appreciate your council.”
“Did you ever question why she had no guardian?” Death paused before he could take a step, but he did not respond to the question. “This is only the beginning. Be cautious with the girl; I fear she is not what she seems.”
Death turned and glanced at a leaf on the tree. It had wilted, but a flowery vine had erupted from the stem. The flower, a mixture of gold and green, was closed, but he knew it was beautiful. He closed his eyes, exhaling as he prepared to depart to his next location. “Goodbye, Azrael.”
FOR A FEW SECONDS, David could only stare into the dark sitting room. Jane hadn’t turned any lights on, but he could make out her silhouette where she sat cross-legged on the floor with her back against the base of a sofa. She wasn’t doing anything, simply staring at the wall across from her.
“Jane.” He flicked on the light and went to stand right in front of her, but she didn’t acknowledge his presence. Her normally expressive eyes were completely empty. He was looking at a shell of a person he loved.
David didn’t know what had happened. He’d never been around such an emotional person as Jane. Everything about being with her was so natural for him; he loved she was so delicate and caring, but this was wrong, and he had no idea how to help her. She’d been so happy and carefree before they fought the wolves. He had mentally prepared himself to comfort his sad soul mate, but this, this was not sadness. He would have preferred her tears and blubbering over the empty person sitting there.
A part of him said he should leave Jane behind him; he wasn’t the one she chose, after all. She didn’t even believe he was her soul mate, and she had two other men she held in higher regard than him. He’d never be the one she relied on. It didn’t matter that he was the one who stood by her now, she would always need another.
Walk away. Wash your hands of her. She’s too great a burden. These thoughts made perfect sense, but his heart wouldn’t listen. It roared until every one of those cowardly thoughts went silent.
David didn’t know what to do, and he may not be the man she loved, but he wasn’t walking away from her.
More nervous than he’d been around her in a while, he sat down beside her. He glanced at the wall to see if maybe there was something of interest, but it was blank. “Why are you on the floor, baby?”
She didn’t acknowledge him at all and kept staring at nothing. He glanced at her hand resting on her lap and reached over to hold it. Sadly, she still didn’t react to his presence or even his touch. It felt like he held a useless appendage and there was no owner to guide it.
He wanted to grab her and kiss her until she felt something again, but he knew that would be disastrous, too. So, he placed her hand in both of his, and lifted it to his lips. He kissed her fingers and a jolt of electricity stung his lips. She even jerked, proving he’d not been the only one to feel it, but when he looked back to her face, his heart ached. Whatever she’d felt had already faded. She sat there, but he could not see the woman he loved.
“Baby, we are all going to go with you in a bit.” He paused and waited for any indication she’d heard or cared. She did nothing. “We will meet Dagonet in a few hours at the post he’s maintained. It will be close to six by then, and perhaps they may be awake. You can easily hear everything inside from there; we can stay as long as you like. But like I told you, you will not be able to see inside. In time, we can come up with a way for you to safely watch them.” Jane didn’t respond in any way to his plan. The excitement and playfully intense love she radiated were gone. “What do you think?”
She stayed quiet and still.
“Please say something. Where are you, my love?”
Finally, she turned away from her staring contest with the wall. No emerald or gold glinted in the depths of her hazel eyes. Though he was heartbroken, he smiled as best he could and watched her slip further away.
“Yes. I’ll go wait in my room.” She stood and walked away.
David still held her hand in his and watched it fall limp at her side once she moved out of his reach. He felt helpless. No matter how much he wanted to follow her upstairs, his mind screamed at him to wait. So, he did.
He didn’t know how long he sat there, but Arthur was suddenly speaking to him. “You know, David, Jane is a very special person.”
“I know,” David replied as he continued to stare out at nothing in particular.
“I was able to learn more about her and Death.”
At the mention of Death, he became more aware of his brother-in-law and turned his full attention to him.
/> Arthur continued. “I was right about him sparing her life; he came to her during her family’s car crash because she was meant to die that night, but he did not take her. Since then, he’s been with her, protecting her the best way he knows how and comforting her when no one was there to hold her. Unfortunately, he could not stay with her all the time and evil pursued her.
“Their relationship was innocent until she grew older. She confessed her love at the age of seventeen, and he turned her down because she was only a girl. When she grew sad, he gave her the gift she asked for… I feel it wrong to share what they did, but I will say that was when he realized they could not stay the same as they’d always been. So he wiped her memories in hopes she would have a normal life. He’s remained with her, just not where she could see him.”
“I figured it had to be when she was a child or when she attempted to end her life,” David said, staring down at the floor while he pondered this information. “I did not think he could do something so honorable.”
Arthur chuckled. “I believe he only does so for her. He’s quite the big softy when it comes to her, but I think he and Jane both know his actions with her are, at times, inappropriate. She allows it, though, because it’s been all she’s ever had. Her husband never comforted her as Death has.”
David glared at the floor. The more he heard about Jason, the more he wanted to beat the man. He was considering letting Death share the fight with him.
Arthur nodded. “Yes, her husband failed her, but she is loyal. That’s why she seems to halt her relationship with you. She is so loyal, she feels she betrayed Death by marrying Jason. It confuses her to have memories of them together and the life she lived without her knowledge of Death. Unfortunately, you are the last to arrive for her heart. She’s trying to do what she thinks is right by all of you and it’s tearing her apart. She’s very hard on herself because of all she has allowed herself with you and Death.”
“I know I should not be so affectionate with her, but it’s hard.”
“It is for him, as well. For both of them.”
“Great,” David muttered.
Arthur laughed softly. “It is even harder for her to resist you, brother. She is quite strong if you think about her resistance to you. Take it as a compliment, not a sign you are lesser in her heart.”
David sighed. “It’s her heart I worry about. She’s been so strong… Even though she has cried often, I see her as one of the bravest and strongest souls I’ve ever met.”
“Yes, she is,” said Arthur. “Not everyone can go through what she has and keep going without turning to darkness in some form. She has had every opportunity, especially with that entity inside her, but she lets herself suffer instead of inflicting pain on others. She’s been destroying herself because she sees what she’s done to you and your brothers as a failure to keep her darker side back.”
“Is that why she’s like this now?”
“Yes. This is her mind protecting itself. I doubt that she is even aware of how or what she is doing; I am not aware of how she did it. She was drowning in fear, sorrow, and confusion. Then some inner part of her mind, or perhaps something that I cannot begin to comprehend, acted by shutting every emotion off. It’s a defense mechanism. She knew she could not bear losing you or anyone else and feared what she would unleash if she did. She especially fears being the one responsible for harming you or her children. She sees no good when she looks at herself and only greatness when she thinks of you.”
“She’s worried about me?”
Arthur smiled. “Brother, I told you she cares for you. Whether she accepts it or not, she has placed you on a very high pedestal. Only, she feels unworthy to look upon you and nowhere in her mind does she feel she deserves you.”
David’s chest and throat felt tight. “Isn’t that for me to decide?”
“Perhaps you should remind her of that.”
David scowled at him. “How? She does not react when I speak to her!”
“I think you will be able to reach her,” Arthur said calmly “She has many tactics that she’s used to help her function, but she has never shut off before.”
“Why hasn’t Death come to help her?”
“I don’t know,” Arthur answered. “There is something more to Death’s arrival, but I believe his abilities prevent me from understanding all he intends with her. I only know she is aware of something he’s done that impacts her, but she is not angry with him over it. She understands and has forgiven him, but I cannot figure out what it is that he’s done.”
David thought for a moment. “She kept saying I don’t know what’s happening… Do you think he’s done something to her? Or told her something about the entity that he did not tell us?”
“Your guess is as good as mine, brother. All I know is she has been worried, but she is not angry with him. I wonder if this emotional shutdown has cut off their connection, too. Although this is a protective reaction, it is dangerous. When I try to read her now, there is almost nothing. There were literally no thoughts in her mind as you sat here talking to her. It’s fascinating, but it makes my heart weep.
“She is able to think and remember, but there is no emotional response. She’s there, just being kept safe. I can only compare it to watching herself move on autopilot from the outside. She knows things are happening, but she is seeing everything as though they have no relevance to her. Even her children, she knows she has them and is supposed to care, but she feels nothing.”
“Did she choose this?”
Arthur sighed. “She begged for it all to stop, and she sat still when everything severed within.”
“How do I bring her back?”
“Show her what she stands to lose. Love her. She will see her fear is nothing compared to what you offer her. Prove to her you are different from Jason and Death. All her life, those she loves, including Death, have left her or let her down in some way. Be the one who doesn’t.” Arthur paused, and smiling, he added, “You know, she reminds me of a violin. She’s sad but beautiful. Powerful and fragile—all at once. No matter how dark, sad or light, she will always enchant us. So lovely.”
David smiled, it was a beautiful way to envision her. “She is lovely. Thank you, Arthur.”
“You’re welcome, brother.” Arthur patted his shoulder. “Go check on her. We will meet you at the house in a few hours.”
“Do you know what she is doing now?” he asked, watching Arthur stand.
Arthur looked down at him sadly. “Staring at the floor.”
David took a deep breath as he got up. “We’ll see you in a few hours.”
He watched Arthur walk away and then made his way upstairs. He was afraid of what he would see, and his heart broke when he pushed the door open.
Just as Arthur said, she was staring at the floor. She was against the far wall, sitting on the floor again. Just staring. The empty look on her face almost made him want to cry.
“Hey, baby.” He joined her on the floor, and just like she’d done downstairs, she didn’t react to him. He took her hand anyway, growing more devastated by how lifeless and cold she felt.
“Whenever you want to come back, I’ll be here, Jane.” He lifted her hand and kissed it. “You’re not alone, baby. I’m here.”
“JANE, THIS IS DAGONET,” Arthur said, gesturing to the middle-aged man beside him. “He and another guard have been watching over your family since we arrived here.”
Dagonet glanced at David before nodding to her. “Pleasure to meet you, Jane.”
“You as well.” The words came out automatically for her.
David’s hand enclosed around hers. She looked at him, waiting for him to tell her what to do next, but he wasn’t looking at her.
Dagonet spoke again. “It has been an honor to guard your home, Jane. I owe David a great deal; I am not often given the opportunity to show my gratitude to him. To protect the family of his Other has given me more peace than I ever imagined. I might add, your children are wonderful. It’s
incredible to see the amount of love and care they must have received growing up.”
“Thank you,” she said, unsure why he felt it necessary to speak so long. “Which way are we going?”
Dagonet gestured toward the stairs behind him. “Upstairs. I will show you.”
She followed behind him and entered a large bedroom very similar to the one she had at the base camp. She somewhat noticed some of the knights gathered in the room, but she did not see a reason to acknowledge them as she stepped close to the large window. She peered down at the home she’d left behind and wondered if it was wrong to not feel anything. The thought, and any others trying to manifest disappeared quickly, and she found herself staring at the dinosaur sheet partially visible through a few boards on a window.
“PENGUIN!” a happy voice cheered from within her home.
Jane didn’t respond in any way.
“PENGUIN!” they yelled again, and this time, little giggles erupted from the speaker.
Jane knew the voice. She knew it was her son talking, but she felt nothing toward him. It occurred to her how strange that seemed, but she found her thoughts fading to the back of her mind before she could think any more.
“Nathan, you have to be quiet,” the sweeter, softer voice of her daughter scolded.
“PENGUIN!” he said again.
“No, Nathan. The penguin movie is over. Come play with me.”
“Play,” he repeated.
“Here,” she said. “You can be the good knight.”
“Good might.”
“Knight,” she corrected him. “I’ll be the evil prince who steals the princess. You save her because you’re a prince, too.” Jane tilted her head as she listened, not sure why she felt a light pressure against her chest. “No, Nathan—listen: I’ll save you, princess… You say: no, you won’t.”
“No won’t.”
“I’m going to keep the princess in my dungeon forever… Say: I will save her.”
“Save,” Nathan muttered.
Jane heard everything they were saying but other than the increasing pressure on her chest, she didn’t care. Their words and roles in her life were nothing more than white noise. Everyone was a meaningless afterthought.