“Were you in an accident or something? Can you get money for almost drowning?” He laughed a little, a curious twinkle in his eyes, obviously unaware of what he was stumbling into. “You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want. I don’t want to be rude and pry.”
“No, it’s fine,” I said softly, rubbing the band on my finger. “It was bound to come up at some point.”
I moved to the table and turned one of the chairs to face the living room, sitting down.
“My husband, John, died at sea. He was working with a fishing company for the summer and their boat got caught in a storm. Even though he was a teacher, we had good insurance. My grandfather had advised us to do it, which turned out to be a good idea. No amount of money can replace John though.”
“Audrey, I am so sorry.” Sy stayed on the couch, obviously uncomfortable. “I didn’t mean to bring up such a horrible thing. I thought you’d been in a car accident or something. You’re so young; it didn’t occur to me that you could be a widow. I didn’t even notice your ring until now.”
“It’s not a problem,” I said, taking a deep breath. “You were bound to find out eventually. At least it was from me.” I smiled at him, trying to reassure him that he’d done nothing wrong. “Would you like to see a picture of him?”
“Sure,” he said, still obviously uncomfortable.
I went back to my room and grabbed the photo off of my nightstand.
“This is my favorite picture of him,” I said as I walked down the hall. “It was taken on our wedding day. This was when he saw me coming down the aisle.”
I handed the frame over when I reached him, smiling happily.
“He’s handsome, isn’t he?” I asked, not that I really expected an answer.
Sy looked at the picture, some color draining from his face as he studied it. He looked as if he were about to be sick.
“Yes,” he answered quietly, handing it back to me and looking down at the floor.
“What’s wrong?” I asked, confused.
“Uh, nothing,” he said, shaking his head. “It’s just one thing to hear about someone who’s died and another to see them. At least for me it is. Thank you for showing it to me though. It looks like you were both lucky to have found each other.” He smiled tightly before looking away, a strange look of horror stuck on his face.
“We were,” I agree warmly, trying to ease his discomfort. “I loved him so much—I still do. I don’t think I’ll ever not love him. We were going to have a baby when he passed. I guess the stress of it all is what caused me to lose it, too.”
“Audrey,” Sy started then stopped, his mouth opening and closing silently like he wanted to say something. After a few moments, understanding seemed to hit him like a rock. “That’s why everyone thought you’d tried to kill yourself? Because all of that had just happened?”
I nodded, smiling at him appreciatively. “I have you to thank for dispelling that.”
“Audrey . . .” His eyes met mine and I was shocked at the true sorrow I saw there. “Audrey, I am so sorry.”
“I’m doing a lot better,” I admitted. “But enough of that depressing stuff. Why don’t you tell me about you some more?”
He blinked at the sudden change of subject, pausing a moment before speaking.
“What do you want to know?”
“Well, you said you like animals. Do you have a degree to work with any of them?”
“You’d think that a twenty seven year old would have a degree of some kind, but I’ve never managed to do it.” He was still transitioning from our previous topic, but didn’t seem to mind the change.
“You never went to college then?”
“Oh, no I went,” he laughed nervously, shaking his head like it would get John’s face out of his mind. “I just never got a degree. I was always taking the classes I wanted to take. Usually, that didn’t include some key general education classes. I’m certified in several things, but not really licensed in anything. I thought that maybe I’d try out the university here. I’ve heard it can be a pretty fun place to be.”
“If you like partying,” I laughed.
“Well, maybe I’ll finally buckle down and get a degree. You never know. I think there’s only a few math and English classes keeping me from finishing three associates’ degrees.”
“Why would you not take them then?” I exclaimed. “If it was that easy, why not force yourself through it?”
“I don’t want to,” he laughed, finally easing away from what I’d told him.
“That is insane. If I were that close to graduating I would jump on the chance.”
“Well, do you have a degree, Miss College-pants?”
“I do,” I laughed. “It’s only in general education though. I haven’t decided what I’d like to go into yet. There’s too much to choose from!”
“So you understand my side of it?”
“I guess.”
We talked for a while longer about the school, and what fun things there were to do here. By that point, the chicken was starting to smell delicious, so I got up to set the table.
“Do you want any help?” Sy asked, struggling to slide out from under a now sleeping Talley.
“Sorry,” I laughed at his struggles. “She thinks she’s a lap dog.”
“It’s okay,” he said, finally breaking free. “What do you need help with?”
“Actually, if you could pull the pan out of the oven, that would be great. The oven mitts are in the drawer right next to the fridge.”
I finished getting the table ready while he did what I asked.
“It smells amazing in here. Thank you for inviting me over.”
“No problem.” I kept trying to reassure him he was welcome, removing the tin foil off of our food and letting the steam escape. “It’s nice to have someone who isn’t my mom over.” I gasped as soon as I realized what I had just said. “I didn’t mean to say that! I’m really not an introvert, I swear. It’s taken me some time to get back in the swing of things.”
“I can imagine,” he said softly, pulling a chair out for me. “I’m so, so sorry, Audrey.”
“It’s not your fault,” I laughed nervously. Spending so much time on this subject was not what I had wanted.
Sy didn’t appear to have anything to say to that, so I grabbed our plates and began dishing out food.
Our meal was mostly silent. I took it to mean one of two things—either the food was delicious and he was too busy shoveling it into his mouth to talk, or I had scared him away with my dead husband. I fervently hoped it was the first option. I couldn’t explain what it was about Sy, but I liked spending time with him. It was nice to feel like I had someone I could just invite over at a moments notice. Given the chance, I thought we could become good friends.
Once the food was gone and leftovers packed up, he left. There was a mumbled thanks for everything, another weird feeling apology, and then Talley and I were the only ones left in the room.
Great, I thought to myself, so much for that.
Chapter Six
“So, why didn’t you tell me that he moved in next door?”
Mom continued to water her plants in the kitchen window, sunlight filtering through the blinds. Her short brown hair fell in front of her eyes as she moved, swaying back and forth. While she filled her can again in the sink, droplets splashed out onto her floral, button up shirt and black jeans. She didn’t seem to notice though, moving on to the flowers outside the open dining room window.
“I didn’t think it was a big deal,” I said, answering her question from my spot at the table. “He was just there one day. It was as normal as any other person moving in.”
“Well, this man saved your life, Audrey. That makes him different from just any other person.” She laughed, turning to give me a mock stern look before going back to work.
“It doesn’t matter now,” I sighed. “My one chance at having a friend again and I blew it.”
“What do you mean? You have lots of fr
iends.”
“That all knew me before the accident,” I interjected. “They all treat me like I’m going to shatter into a million pieces at any moment. At least Sy let me talk about it.”
“You haven’t seen him since then?”
“No.”
It had been a week with no sign of Sy anywhere. I hadn’t really gone looking for him, but it still seemed odd that I hadn’t seen him around the complex. Sadness burned in my chest as I thought about it.
“If he can’t handle your past honey, then he doesn’t deserve to be a part of your future.”
“I know,” I mumbled. “There was just something about him.”
“That’s what you said when you met John,” she reminded me, taking a seat next to me, her watering chores finally done.
“I don’t think it’s the same feeling though,” I said. “John made my heart flutter. Sy just. . . I don’t know how to describe it. It’s a feeling as a whole, I guess.”
“Interesting.” She was silent for a moment, studying my face. “Do you like him?”
“Mom, I barely know him! Besides, I don’t think I’m ready for anything like that . . . yet. I need more time.”
“Whatever you say, sweetie.” She patted my knee and stood, ready to do whatever her next chore was. “The heart isn’t so easy to control though.”
“What is that supposed to mean?” I asked defensively.
“It means,” she said as she moved to the counter on the other side of the kitchen. “If you do end up liking him, it won’t be a bad thing. People weren’t meant to be alone, Audrey.”
“John’s only been gone a year, Mom. It’s not enough time to move on, feelings or not,” I said softly, fighting the quiver in my voice.
“I know. It feels like he was here yesterday, telling me a bad history joke. I was only trying to say that you shouldn’t feel bad if you discover you have feelings for another man.” She smiled sadly as she leaned against the cupboards. “Your father has been gone for a long time. While I do still miss and love him, I know that it’s okay to move on. He wouldn’t have wanted me to be alone—just like John wouldn’t have wanted for you. The first time I felt something for someone else, I thought I was being unfaithful. That’s why I’m telling you this. About a year had gone by when it happened to me. I want you to be ready for it, because I don’t want you to miss the chance to have love in your life again. You do what you think is best for you though.”
“Mom,” I smiled and went to hug her. “Don’t worry about me. I’ll be fine,” I wrapped my arms around her reassuringly. “And thank you.”
I breathed out a sigh as I shut the car door and headed for the stairs that would take me home. As always, the heat beat down mercilessly and I was thankful I’d worn shorts today. Rubbing the diamonds adorning my finger, I replayed the conversation I’d had with my mother.
I understood what Mom had been trying to tell me, even though at first it seemed she was telling me to get out there already. She wasn’t that callous though. The truth was I didn’t want to be alone for the rest of my life. I also didn’t want to dishonor John by dating someone only a year after his death.
As I reached the top of the cement steps, I heard knocking and looked up to my door.
Sy was standing there, rocking back and forth, hands in the pocket of his jeans. That feeling I couldn’t quite pinpoint appeared and I smiled.
“Hey!”
He turned quickly, his blood red shirt clinging to his chest.
“Hey.” He smiled, staying where he was. “I was afraid you weren’t home.”
“Well, technically I’m not,” I said, chuckling nervously. “What’s going on?”
“I wanted to apologize for how I acted before,” he said, taking a step towards me. “I felt terrible for bringing it up, like I was making you relive the worst moment of your life. I didn’t know what to do or say and I’m pretty sure it ruined dinner.”
“It’s not a big deal,” I fibbed. There was no way I would tell him I’d been feeling crumby about it all week.
“I want to make it up to you.” Looking relieved he smiled, taking a few more steps towards there stairs where I stood.
“Oh yeah?” I suddenly felt breathless and my face warmed. Uh, oh. What if Mom had been right on track? I wasn’t ready for anything other than friendship.
“Would you come to dinner with me? I can’t cook, so we’ll have to go out. We can go where ever you’d like.” His pearly whites flashed at me again and hope filled his eyes.
“You mean like a . . . date?” I choked the last word out, a touch of fear accompanying it.
“No! No, no, no!” he said quickly. “I would never—I mean, your husband—just as friends. Totally just as friends.”
“Friends,” I said, relief washing through me. I could do friends. “Um. Yeah, I guess I could go out. Do you mind if I change first though?”
“I guess,” he said, somewhat taken aback. “What’s wrong with what you’re wearing?”
“Uh . . .” What was wrong with my clothes? If we were going out as friends, why did it matter what I wore? “Nothing?” I said blankly.
“Okay,” he laughed. “Why don’t we just go then? You look fine, honestly.”
“All right,” I responded nervously. “I fed Talley before I went to my mom’s. Let me take her out to go to the bathroom real quick.”
“Good plan,” he chuckled, moving out of my way as I came to open the door.
It only took a minute or two for Talley to finish her business and soon I was locking the door behind me again.
“I’m ready,” I announced, turning to face him.
“Great.” He smiled and completed the few steps he had left to the stairs. “Let’s get out of here. I’m starving!”
“Does Cheesecake Factory sound good to you? I don’t really know where to go. They were just talking about it on the radio before I got here.”
“That sounds divine.”
A few moments later we were in his Jeep, wind blowing through our hair as we sped down the freeway
“The traffic here is nothing compared to California,” he laughed as he blew by a minivan. “I feel like I could get anywhere within five minutes.”
“You obviously haven’t discovered rush hour yet.” His assumption made me laugh, as I hoped he wouldn’t notice the death grip I had on my seat.
“I usually take surface streets home to avoid sitting in the heat.” He slapped his palm on the dash. “The air conditioning hasn’t worked in years.”
“Why didn’t you get it fixed?”
“Who knows,” he laughed. “I guess I just haven’t thought about it. I always drive with the soft top off.”
“You might want to fix it before monsoon season,” I inform him. “You won’t be able to keep the cover off then. We get pretty bad dust storms, too.”
“It’ll be fine,” he assured me, waving a hand and gunning it past a truck with oversized wheels and a fin. “What an interesting design,” he remarked as we merged in front of them.
“That’s one way of seeing it,” I muttered, closing my eyes as we cut off another driver. He may not have been in The Golden State anymore, but he was driving like he’d never left.
In half the time it should have taken us to get there, we pulled into the parking lot of Chandler Fashion Mall and were seated for dinner.
“You didn’t tell me this was at a mall,” he said.
“Is that a bad thing?” I unrolled my napkin and placed it on my lap before scooting the chair in closer.
“No. I just seem to spend all my time at malls lately,” he laughed.
“Oh, that’s right! You work at the aquarium in Arizona Mills. How is that going?”
“It’s nice,” he answered after pausing to let the waiter take our drink orders. “I mostly do behind the behind the scenes stuff, like cleaning the tanks and feedings. Every now and then I oversee the touch tanks.”
“Touch tanks? You mean like the sting ray exhibit at the zoo?�
�� I took a sip of the water that had just been placed in front of me, nodding in thanks.
“Actually, it’s more starfish and crabs. Things like that anyway. The kids love it. I make sure they don’t harm the animals and that they wash their hands when they’re done. It’s not hard,”
“Are we ready to order?” Our waiter stopped by our table again, a friendly smile on his face.
“Yes . . . Steve,” Sy said, looking up at his nametag.
“What can I get for you tonight?” Steve asked.
“Well, obviously I’m going to have to try some of your cheesecake before I leave,” Sy said in a matter-of-fact tone. “But I’ll take a burger and fries first, if you don’t mind.”
“Not a problem,” Steve said, scribbling on his notepad. He asked a few more questions before turning to me. “And for your lovely date?”
“Oh, no, I’m not,” I stuttered, blushing as my hand went straight to the band around my finger. “We’re just, um . . . I’ll take a salad, please.”
Sy was stifling a laugh as Steve finished his scribbling and left.
“I’m sorry,” I apologized, still blushing.
“Don’t be,” he said, lifting his glass. “He shouldn’t have assumed. I should have stepped in, but I like it when you blush.”
I stared at him, not sure what to say. The look on his face seemed to share the same mild shock as mine.
“I’m sorry,” he said, and took a sip. “Now I’m being inappropriate.”
“It’s . . . it’s okay,” I said after a moment.
“No, really. I’m sorry, Audrey.” There was another moment of silence. “I’m messing this dinner up, too, aren’t I?”
“I’m fine, I promise.” I smiled at him, trying to think of an easy way to change the subject. “Lots of people have commented on how much I blush. I get embarrassed easily I guess.” I laughed, taking a sip of my own drink and crossing my legs.
“I don’t get embarrassed,” he proclaimed, laughing.
“I don’t believe you.”
Poseidon (The God Chronicles) Page 4