"Then don't," Nevil said as he reached back to squeeze his balls, sending an incredible jolt of pleasure, that was almost pain, through him. Shelton's body tingled, a buzz starting in his head as all his energy focused downward, rushing to gather for that final ecstatic thrust.
Reaching blindly, Shelton caught Nevil's cock in his hand, stroking him while he thrust into Nevil's hot depths. His head was reeling at the twin sensations of power and rapture far beyond thought. Shelton let him go to grab Nevil's hips with both hands, pushing wildly, frantically, the pressure building until it released in a shattering orgasm into Nevil, Shelton breathing Nevil's name, lost in joy.
He returned to himself slowly, becoming aware of Nevil lying on his chest, grinning.
"I think you enjoyed that," Nevil teased then eased off of Shelton and settled his length beside him, stretching his lean body. "So did I."
Shelton gazed at him then lowered his hand and felt stickiness between them. "I wanted you inside me," he said, not bothering to hide his disappointment as he reached for a tissue on the bedside table for the condom.
Nevil laughed out loud. "Glutton. It's your fault I came. Don't worry, I'll get my turn. But right now, we've got to get some sleep. Morning's coming all too soon and we both have to work."
"Damn. You're right."
Nevil chuckled as he turned off the light and snuggled down beside him.
Chapter Four
Shelton roused sluggishly, pulling a pillow over his head at the familiar sound of the shower being used. Then he came fully awake. Damn. What time was it? After a glance at the clock, he scrambled from the covers and trotted down the hallway to the guest bathroom. Turning the faucets, he stepped under the hot spray of the shower and soaped his body, rubbing at sore muscles he hadn't felt in ages.
As he rinsed the suds, he looked at himself for the first time in a long while and sighed. The ragged scars where the doctor had unevenly cut the foreskin, then cut again to try to correct his inept work, stood out clearly. But it did look as if the silicone gel he'd been applying had somewhat faded the dark patches and smoothed the scar tissue. And he remembered with some smugness that, even though Nevil was beautiful, Shelton was the thicker of the two. That had to count for something.
Thoughts of their incredible night together sent Shelton hurrying from the shower and back to Nevil's room, ostensibly to retrieve his abused briefs, but in reality, he wanted to catch a glimpse of Nevil's delicious body before he dressed and maybe steal a kiss or too.
He paused in the open doorway. Nevil was already dressed and sitting on the edge of the bed slipping a pair of light blue socks on his feet.
"Pretty," Shelton said before he thought.
"Your favorite color, I think?" Nevil asked, lifting a socked foot.
"Yes," Shelton managed to say, though it felt as if Nevil had squeezed his heart with his hands. So that was where Nevil had gone last night, to buy socks to represent him. He wondered helplessly how often he'd be chosen from among the others already in the top drawer.
Feeling dazed, he spotted his boxers against the far wall and crossed in front of Nevil to retrieve them. Nevil stood and touched his wrist as he passed, stopping him, and Shelton began to tremble as Nevil's hand slid up his back.
"See you tonight," Nevil said, giving him a light kiss before leaving the room. Seconds later Shelton heard the front door close.
He stared at the floor unable to think beyond the hurt in his chest. He didn't want to see all the men he'd have to share Nevil with. His treacherous eyes looked anyway and he winced at the blue socks mixed with the other colors in the drawer. He laughed at his own absurdity. Of course he'd been a passing amusement like the others.
The clock in Nevil's room sounded loud in the silent apartment, and Shelton returned to his room to dress, hurrying from the complex to catch the light rail train to work. One of the perks of living in Portland was that he didn't need to own a car.
Once there, he did try, but the day passed in an endless stream of discontented clients and meticulous, tiresome paperwork. Lunch consisted of a sandwich and coffee at his desk—he didn't care what he ate—and he left early claiming a headache. In reality, he was unable to get thoughts of Nevil out of his head. He had the dangerous wish to be with him again. Perhaps they'd have a repeat of last night. Nevil had given Percy a week of his time. It wasn't crazy to hope for a few consecutive days, was it?
He got off the light rail a block from his apartment complex with the desire to walk through the park. The afternoon was warm and he removed his coat and loosened the inevitable tie, wishing he'd gone home to change first as several joggers passed him on the pathway. He'd like to run and clear his head. He found an empty bench by the lake and sat down, smiling at the pretty scene of crocuses and tulips blooming along the shoreline.
A familiar laugh made him look up, his heart pounding as he turned his head. Nevil leaned against a tree talking animatedly to a man who stood over him, his hand on the trunk of the tree beside his head. It was Percy, damn him, looking amazing in tan slacks.
Nevil laughed at something Percy said, and Percy straightened, clearly furious with him. He suddenly grabbed the front of Nevil's shirt and pulled him close, giving him a hard kiss.
Surprised, Shelton looked quickly around, but there was no one else to see their blatant display of affection. He was hardly aware of the pain that squeezed his chest as he dropped his gaze to his hands clasped on his lap. Nerves burning, he pleaded with the universe to be invisible and that Nevil wouldn't see him sitting on the bench. He wished the ground would swallow him up, anything, afraid to move and draw their attention.
In a moment he heard their voices drift off and he risked a glance, seeing them disappear into the trees in the opposite direction from him. He waited a few minutes then, sick with disappointment, rose and walked the short distance home.
The apartment had an empty silence to it he'd never noticed before, and he reluctantly closed the door behind him and locked himself into the quiet, lonely rooms.
"Damn," he said, not sure what he meant by the word. Without bothering to change, he went to the kitchen, grabbed a can of soup out of the cupboard and began to heat the brownish blob over the stove instead of the microwave, not minding the extra time it took. What else did he have to do, anyway? Nevil had said he'd see him that night, but he never should have gotten his hopes up.
Unthinking, Shelton took his hot bowl of soup to the living room and bit off an oath at the sight of the couch. Body instantly on fire and aching for Nevil's touch, he placed the soup on the coffee table and sat down, sinking into the cushions. Trembling, he surrendered to the memory of Nevil's skillful fingers; his hot lips and tongue bringing fulfillment. Shelton could never tell Nevil, but that night had been the best in his life.
Drawing a ragged breath, he sat up and clicked on the television before letting one mindless show after the other numb his senses and nudge him toward sleep. At one in the morning, he finally dragged his aching body to bed only to sleep fitfully, listening for Nevil to come home. It was another two hours before he heard the key at the front door and Nevil's familiar tread in the hallway.
Shelton's pulses leapt to life as Nevil's footfalls paused outside his door. He clutched the blankets, urging Nevil to come in and kiss away his hurt and loneliness. He didn't even care where he'd been. After a brief moment, the footsteps receded and Nevil's door closed firmly. Shelton rolled to his side and stared at the wall for a long while.
Chapter Five
Shelton never knew how he got through the rest of the week. After a few brief, awkward encounters with Nevil in the kitchen, it finally dawned on him that Nevil was trying his best to avoid him. When Saturday arrived, Shelton woke early and hurried to the kitchen intent on having it out with Nevil. He stared at the fresh pot of coffee in disbelief. Nevil had already been up and gone, leaving the coffee hot for him.
Dropping onto a stool at the counter, he covered his face. Everything was ruined. By giving
Nevil what they'd both wanted, Shelton had lost the man he loved. He laughed without humor in the silent apartment. Saturday had always been their day to laze around the table with coffee and the paper, maybe going to brunch somewhere when they woke up early enough. Apparently, he didn't even have Nevil's friendship anymore. He moaned, blinking back hot tears at the bitter truth: no one ever stayed with him after making love.
Shelton sat up and took a deep breath, easing the tightness in his chest. The morning paper was spread on the table and he pulled it to him, turning to the rental pages. He refused to stay with Nevil and be ignored. Shutting his mind to how quickly Nevil would find another roommate, he read over the list of available places.
After making a list of likely rooms to rent, he changed into track clothes and left the apartment, jogging to the park to take the path around the lake. Shelton thought of when he'd seen Nevil there with Percy and increased his pace to outdistance the painful images.
He ran until his lungs burned, and then he flung himself onto a bench, his chest heaving as he caught his breath, body trembling.
"Shelton?"
He jumped with fright on hearing Nevil's voice in his ear. Nevil's face was inches from his own. With only a slight move, Shelton could reach the luscious, inviting mouth, but he resisted the temptation.
Nevil straightened and Shelton looked up helplessly at him, noting how beautiful he was in shorts with his tank top clinging to his chest. Nevil's black hair was damp on his forehead, a trickle of sweat running alongside one gorgeous turquoise eye. Every nerve in Shelton's body strained toward him, wanting that strong, vibrant body against his own and that delicious mouth and tongue fencing with his.
He stood abruptly and pushed past Nevil without a word, ignoring his call as he walked away. It was too much. He couldn't do this and pretend nothing was wrong between them. His body ached for Nevil. He missed their friendship. Nevil had been kind when they'd made love where others had been cruel. It hurt more than he thought possible that it meant nothing to Nevil.
Shelton walked for what seemed hours, circling the lake several times before he stopped and stared unseeing at the water near his feet.
"It's better to have loved and lost..." he murmured, and a bitter laugh escaped him. Obviously, the person who'd written that hadn't gone through the hell of rejection. No, it wasn't even rejection. Nevil would delight in sleeping with him as long as no strings were attached. It was absurd of him to ache for a lover and partner to go through life with.
A shudder traveled his body and he nodded, knowing he was going to hurt for a long while, but it was time to get his list and find a new apartment. Start again. Anguish bit him, but Shelton shoved it away and set his feet determinedly toward home.
Once he reached his doorstep, he hesitated with his hand on the doorknob, not sure what he would do if Nevil was inside. It didn't matter. He'd be polite, take a shower, and catch the train downtown. With any luck, he'd be in a new apartment by the first of next week. He despaired at the thought.
Shelton knew Nevil was home the moment he stepped through the door. There was the scent of his spicy cologne on the air, the tingle of electricity in the rooms.
"Nevil?" he called cautiously.
A groan answered from the living room and he crossed the small foyer to find Nevil sprawled on the couch, an arm thrown across his eyes.
"What's wrong?" he asked from the doorway, reminding himself severely that it wasn't his problem.
"My stomach hurts and there's a tightness in my chest," Nevil mumbled forlornly. "I think I'm having a heart attack."
Shelton suppressed an exasperated breath. He'd learned in just a few weeks of Nevil's company that he was prone to anxiety, one manifestation being he often thought he was falling victim to some terrible illness or another. He liked it when Shelton fussed over him or perused symptom charts with him on the computer until he was reassured.
Going to the couch, Shelton knelt beside him, knowing that if he didn't talk him through it, Nevil would worry until he really was sick. "It can't be a heart attack. Where do you hurt, exactly?"
Nevil groped for Shelton's hand and pressed it to his chest. "It hurts here."
Shelton licked his lips as heat from the toned body under his hand seeped up his arm and spread through him. He knew the texture of the skin beneath the thin shirt Nevil wore and the salty yet somehow sweet taste of it. He wanted to put his mouth on the hardening nipple close to his fingertips and tease it with the tip of his tongue and teeth until he brought a groan of pleasure from Nevil.
He cleared his throat. "When did it start hurting?"
"Monday night—no, Tuesday morning."
Shelton pulled his hand back, stung. "Not a damned bit funny, Nevil."
Nevil looked at him with a flash in his incredible eyes, and Shelton scrambled backwards as Nevil reached for him. Nevil slipped off the couch and Shelton flung up an arm, pushing against his chest to hold him off. "Leave me alone."
Nevil sat back, an impish smile on his lips. "We both know you don't mean that."
Shelton dropped his arm, the fight going out of him. "What does it matter?" he asked, staring at the floor. "You can't give me what I want. Let me go while I can still leave you. It would be kinder."
"What if I don't want you to go?"
Shelton blinked as tears stung his eyes. "Nevil, please. You know I want more than a week, or month, or half a year. It's forever with me. I'm sorry. I can't play at this."
Nevil's silence tore at his heart and Shelton stood, keeping his face averted. Nevil rose instantly, standing close, and the heat from his body encircled Shelton in a warm, erotic blanket. "Stay with me," he said, his breath caressing Shelton's cheek.
"I can't."
Nevil closed the short distance between them until their bodies touched. His lips nuzzled Shelton's neck. "But I want forever."
Shelton pulled his head back to look at Nevi's face, feeling battered with pain. "Why would you hurt me like this? We were friends… I thought so, anyway."
"Shelton, love, what do you think? I'm old enough, and certainly have been around enough, to know what I want. It's you, darling. I've fought against it all week, but when you walked away from me at the park today, I was afraid it might be for the last time. When you didn't come home afterwards, I was terrified that I might be too late. That I'd already lost you."
He picked up Shelton's hands, kissing them. "Say I'm not too late."
Shelton had never heard Nevil plead before. "But are you sure—"
Nevil silenced him with a hard kiss. "I was quite happy being a bachelor, until I found myself thinking of you at the end of the day. I wondered what you were doing. Who you were with. Damn, who'd ever think someone like me could fall so much in love? But you're charming, and witty, and beautiful..."
Shelton's face clouded. "Not all of me is beautiful."
"Ha!" Nevil shouted, startling him, and a warm flush spread through his body as Nevil leaned closer to whisper, a smoldering look in his eyes, "Your cock's deliciously rough, Shelton. What man could resist you pushing into them, driving them mad with pleasure?"
Nevil's hand dropped, kneading Shelton through his clothing. He turned his head and Shelton followed his gaze to a trash bag full of colored socks. "Only blue socks for me from now on."
"Damned right," Shelton murmured, distracted as Nevil's thumb stroked his growing erection, sending spirals of electric bliss through him. He wasn't a fool. He knew Nevil had said this about other men. About Percy. But maybe Nevil would give him the chance to prove he was the one to make him happy. Shelton wanted that chance.
Surrendering, willing to risk his heart to the man he loved, he pushed him backward until Nevil ran up against the couch.
"Sit down," he said on a ragged breath. Nevil promptly sat, his eyes widening with surprised heat, probably at Shelton's demanding tone. Shelton knelt between his knees and pulled Nevil's shirt over his head. His hands shook as he slipped off Nevil's jogging shorts, leaving the dark b
riefs on for now. Bending down, he lifted Nevil's foot and rubbed his cheek against the soft fabric of Nevil's sock. His sock.
Desire flashed through him at the sight of the golden skin emerging from the soft blue material. After planting a kiss on the muscular calf in his hands, he licked and stroked his way up to the lighter skin of Nevil's inner thigh, delighting when Nevil's breath quickened. His lips hovered over the tiny, provocative button on Nevil's boxers, looking up when Nevil put a finger under his chin, raising his face.
"I love you, Shelton," Nevil said earnestly, and leaned to cover Shelton's mouth with his own before Shelton could reply. They kissed urgently, thoroughly, Shelton's heart overflowing with love and joy at Nevil's declaration.
"I love you, too. Always," he promised as their lips parted. Shelton caressed Nevil's jubilant face with his hands and lips. Fully aroused, Shelton dropped his gaze back to the tiny button on Nevil's briefs. Quickly unfastening it, he swirled his tongue against the heated, delicious decadence of Nevil's hard cock and balls, catching fire when Nevil groaned and arched his back off the cushions begging for more. Shelton was more than happy to oblige.
Shelton's Promise
Chapter One
"Damn," Shelton swore as he stepped from the commuter train into a bitter wind. Putting up the collar of his coat, he hurried along the sidewalk, hoping to beat the storm home. The first snowflakes stung his face before he reached the brownstone apartment he and Nevil had recently moved into. He smiled with relief when he spotted Nevil's Prius in the driveway. Good. He wouldn't have to worry about Nevil driving in the bad weather.
As he inserted his key into the front door lock, Shelton's mood lifted further with the thought of being home. It had been a long week, and he looked forward to relaxing on the couch with a beer and the hockey game on TV. Nevil would grumble about it, sitting at his feet and picking the game apart. Bored, he would fixate on one of the more handsome athletes, talking dirty until at last he'd crawl over Shelton's body and take out his kindled imagination on his obliging lover.
Shelton in Love Page 3