Now she had the job she mostly loved, worked long hours as a partner in the business, and went home to her empty rented one-bedroom. Thanks to her scholarships, she’d been able to use the money her parents saved up for college plus a sizeable loan to buy into the business. In a few years, she’d have it paid off and make a more than decent living with a lifelong career ahead of her.
Yay?
Lately life felt very unsatisfying. She’d accomplished everything she’d set her mind to but the one thing she really wanted: a husband and partner to share it all with.
She wanted a family. Children. Yeah, she still had time, but she wanted it now while she was young enough that she didn’t have to play beat the biological clock.
Her brothers always cautioned her to be patient. But her caution in letting people, men in particular, get close to her landed her right here, where her brothers were both about to be happily married and she was single and exactly what that word implied. Alone.
You weren’t alone last night.
Agent Bennett.
She needed to stop thinking of him that way.
Jay found her looking for the meaning of life in the bottom of her whiskey glass and cheered her up. She’d always thought of him as her brothers’ work partner. DEA. Tough. Quiet. Driven. Another workaholic who carried the weight of all the bad things he saw in the worst of society on his broad shoulders and lurking in the darkness she saw in his eyes. Strength inside and out and a barrier around him that warned not to get too close.
But last night he’d dropped that mistrust learned on the job. She’d seen the man who found himself at his buddies’ weddings and wondered why he didn’t have that for himself. After all, her brothers were younger than him. Yet love and a wife eluded him. That common thread tied a bond between them that felt so strong last night she hadn’t wanted to lose it. Yes, she’d had a lot to drink, but she’d still had enough mental faculties to know exactly what she wanted: to get her hands on the muscles that bunched beneath his pristine white dress shirt. He’d been so perfectly put together in his suit, his dark hair flawlessly styled, all she’d wanted to do was mess him up.
And let’s face it, the heat in his gaze had burned away all her inhibitions.
No man had ever looked at her with that kind of hunger and need so clear and direct.
He’d fought it and tried to be the good guy and walk her to her door. But the possessive hold he’d kept on her hand made her feel even more wanted. And protected. Safe.
A triple threat to any woman’s heart.
And so she’d leaped, telling him exactly what she wanted: to be with him, because despite how little they really knew about each other, she trusted him. Partly because her brothers trusted him to watch their backs on the job, but mostly because something inside her instinctively knew he’d never hurt her.
But she’d hurt him this morning by acting like a complete idiot and letting all the consequences of sleeping with him crowd her mind and make her take a huge protective step back before things got too complicated and messy.
In reality, she’d wanted to wallow in his arms in that rumpled bed, drown in the need in his eyes, and glut herself touching him and making love while both of them let the world slip away to just the two of them.
And those overwhelming feelings filled her up to bursting and scared her because she’d never experienced anything that all-consuming and powerful, so she’d run this morning when she’d wanted to be as free as she’d been in his arms last night.
She wanted to blame the alcohol, make excuses that it could never work because he worked with her brothers, and told herself he was too old for her and not in the same place in his life as her. But all of that sounded like a lot of bullshit just like he’d said to her when she’d tried to turn back the clock and go back to thinking about him as Agent Bennett, not Jay. The man who made her go up in flames again and again in his arms and held her like he didn’t want to let her go.
She’d seen it in his eyes a split second before he turned his back and stared out the window, his hands deep in his pockets like he couldn’t trust himself not to touch her again. Like if he kept looking at her, he’d come after her.
It thrilled her, and yet she’d still walked out the door, too afraid to discount all the reasons why it wasn’t a good idea and acknowledge all the reasons why it felt so right.
“Alina!” Beck glared down at her.
“Huh? What?”
“Can you take Adam upstairs and tell Ashley it’s time and to hurry the hell up?”
“I can, but you might consider starting off your marriage without ordering your bride to ‘hurry the hell up.’”
“I spent the night without her and haven’t seen her yet today. I want her here now.”
Alina tilted her head and smiled. “That’s barbarically sweet.”
Beck grunted. “She said today, one o’clock she’d be my wife. Let’s get this done.”
She gave Beck a smart-ass salute. “As you wish.”
She turned to go, but Beck caught her arm. “Hey, are you okay? You look kind of tired. Didn’t you sleep last night?”
Barely. But the couple of hours she did get were really great, especially when she woke up warm and wrapped around Jay’s strong body. “I’m fine.”
Not really. Truth be told, she regretted how she’d acted this morning. Last night probably shouldn’t have happened, but she wanted more at the same time.
It was all still too fresh in her mind.
She definitely didn’t want Beck seeing that she was hiding something from him. The man could ferret out secrets with one long survey of her face and all she couldn’t hide in her eyes. To keep him from looking too closely, she took Adam’s hand and led him across the terrace to the open doors leading into the hotel.
“I hope she’s ready,” Adam said.
Alina wasn’t ready to see Jay, but he appeared in the doors and stopped short and stared at her for one long moment. His gaze didn’t drop, but he took in every inch of her just as she did the same to him. Gone were the casual jeans and tee he’d worn this morning. The suit fit him to perfection and highlighted his lean, toned frame and wide shoulders. He looked every bit the man in control she’d met in the past. The man who took charge in his job let her take the lead last night and this morning. Though he’d ruled her body last night, she’d dictated what would happen and if it would happen.
While the look in his eyes clearly said he wanted her, he’d let her go this morning because he knew, just like she did, that this could never work. What they shared between the sheets didn’t translate to day-to-day life. They had nothing in common. More things separated them and stood between them than pulled them together.
Still, a wave of heat washed through her body. Memories of last night heated her cheeks and made her breasts grow heavy. Her nipples peaked behind the silky dress that hugged her curves and in this moment made her feel completely naked. No doubt, Jay remembered every square inch of her and recognized the desire she couldn’t hide.
“Jay,” Caden called from behind her.
He stepped out the door to meet with her brother. As he passed, close enough to brush his arm against her shoulder, he whispered, “Beautiful,” then continued on like they didn’t know each other intimately.
What did she expect? She’d walked out on him, making it clear that what happened last night ended.
That’s not what you really want.
“Aunt Alina, come on.” Adam tugged her hand to get her moving again, but all she wanted to do was go after Jay and . . .
What?
She let Adam hit the button for the elevator and lead her to his mother’s room. After all Ashley and Beck had been through to get to this day, she especially loved that they had Adam to share it with them. Ashley may have saved Adam from a madman, but Adam had brought a joy and healing to Ashley and Beck these last months. They had become a family the day Beck saved Ashley from freezing to death after her daring escape. But today, that fam
ily would become official. They had everything.
The ache in her stomach intensified as she thought about what she’d walked out on this morning. Wishful thinking that the possibility of what could be might have turned to reality if she’d stayed played with her mind and worse, her heart.
Mia stood outside Ashley’s door. “Hey, you two.” Her beautiful new sister-in-law smiled with a carefree gleam in her eyes. What did she have to worry about today? She’d married the man of her dreams last night and she and Caden had a bright and happy future ahead of them.
The hangover headache pounded back to life behind her eyes with all the swirling thoughts about love, weddings, what her brothers had and she wanted. “Marriage looks good on you.”
Mia beamed. “I can’t believe Caden and I are finally married.”
Adam used the key card his father gave him to open the door.
Mia’s gaze swept over her. “I’m not the only one glowing this morning. Did you hit the spa last night?”
“No.” Something better. The same thing that made Mia’s smile so bright today. Though thinking of her with Caden . . . yuck! And double yuck! She switched that blip of a mental picture and tuned back into her night with Jay and the incredible vision of him pressed up on his hands, his hips locked to hers, and the smoldering look in his eyes as he stared down at her.
“You should treat yourself.”
She’d definitely treated herself last night when she gave in to impulse and followed Jay to his room like a wolf on the hunt. He’d treated her to a night filled with fantasies come true. Which she indulged in until she woke up this morning and, instead of acting like a sophisticated woman, ended up having a mini panic attack. She’d hurt the man she’d crawled all over during the night, and made an undignified run for it without so much as a “good morning” over coffee. Maybe if she’d gotten her caffeine jolt she could have handled things better. She owed him an apology but didn’t know if she had the nerve to deliver it.
Mia touched her hand to Alina’s back and gave a little push to send her into the suite. Ashley greeted them, standing in her beautiful gown looking every bit the gorgeous, Oscar-winning movie star.
It took some time to get past being starstruck every time she saw Ashley, but now that they’d gotten to know each other, Alina only thought of her as Ashley, the woman who’d taken her broken brother and made him whole again.
For that alone, she’d love Ashley the rest of her life. But having a new friend, two of them, sisters she’d always wanted, added something to her life she never expected. A camaraderie she’d never shared with her brothers because they didn’t get it. Sure, she was close to Caden and Beck, but sometimes they made her feel like an alien from another planet because they didn’t relate to her worries and problems. When she talked to them, all they did was tell her how to fix it, or offer to fix it for her. Ashley and Mia listened. Sometimes, that’s all she needed, someone to let her spill her guts and say, “You’ll figure it out.” Because she was perfectly capable of dealing with her problems.
Most of the time better than she handled waking up with Jay this morning.
Why couldn’t she get him off her mind?
Because she hated acting the fool. Not because she missed him. Not because she wanted to get to know him better. Definitely not. Because then her brothers would find out and the last thing she needed was them stepping in and telling her what a bad idea it was to date him.
Of course, they said that about every guy who came into her life no matter how innocent the relationship.
Maybe she should sic them on her business partner and get Dr. Grabby-Hands to back off.
Mia hugged Ashley, then held her at arm’s length. “Oh my, you’re gorgeous.”
Ashley admired Mia in her pretty burgundy matron-of-honor gown. “You’re beautiful, Mrs. Cooke.”
Mia beamed her a wide grin, pleased to hear her new name.
“Mommy, you’re so pretty.” Adam hugged Ashley’s legs.
Ashley brushed her hands over his golden hair, not caring one bit if he wrinkled her dress. “You’re so handsome.” Adorable in his tiny black tux, he smiled up at her.
“Daddy can’t wait any longer. He said, ‘Hurry it up.’”
Adam so easily let the past go and settled in to being with Ashley and Beck and accepting them as his new mother and father. He spoke to his birth father, Scott, once a month.
“Beck is impatient to get this done.” Alina shook her head. “Once those guys set their minds to something, they want to get it over with immediately.”
“Caden sure did look relieved when you said, ‘I do,’ yesterday,” Ashley pointed out to Mia.
“Like I’d say no to that man.” Mia’s bright smile matched the happiness in her eyes. The joy matched that in Ashley’s smile. They’d found their true happiness.
Alina wanted some of that for herself.
You had it last night.
And if she tried to keep it, she’d have to accept what came with it. Lots of nights alone. Broken promises because of work obligations. And the one thing that tore at her all the time. The memory of sitting by Beck’s hospital bed wondering if he’d survive his gunshot wounds after a drug bust went terribly bad. The fear clawed at her even now, thinking of those hours and days when he’d been critical. And after he got out of the hospital, the weeks he’d been sunk in pain and depression so deep she couldn’t reach him.
Ashley did. Somehow, she’d broken through his walls and found the courage to face life with Beck.
Alina didn’t want to live every day wondering if the man she loved would go off to work one day and never come home. It scared her too much to see her brothers face danger every day.
She and Jay had fun last night, but the only thing she faced right now was the hangover sapping her energy and souring her stomach. Tomorrow she’d go back to work and Jay would go back to taking down bad guys. They’d go their separate ways. She didn’t have to watch him put his life on the line, though she admired him for doing it. She wouldn’t hold her breath, waiting for something terrible to happen, because eventually it would. Her brothers’ lives had taught her that.
“Let’s not keep Beck waiting.” Ashley’s sweet voice pulled her out of her head and those dark thoughts. Ashley bent and looked at Adam. “Do you have the rings?”
Adam pulled them out of his coat pocket. “I got this, Mom.”
So confident. He got that from Beck. Alina wished she tossed caution to the wind more often and brought out her cocky side. Her brothers had mastered that while she’d learned from their many close calls to stay away from the wild side.
Ashley kissed Adam on the cheek, took his hand, and they all walked out of the suite. Mia rushed ahead to tell the gathered guests to take their seats in the garden. Adam ran for Beck at the end of the aisle to let his father know Mom was on the way.
“Thank you for all your help with the wedding preparations, Alina.”
Alina turned from the open terrace doors, told herself she wasn’t looking for one particular face among the guests, and smiled at her soon-to-be sister. “The wedding coordinator did most of the work.”
“But I enjoyed doing it with you. It gave us a chance to get to know each other better.”
Alina smiled but remained distracted by the guests taking their seats outside.
“And since I’ve gotten to know you, I can see something is bothering you. Did one of your brothers upset you?”
“If it was Caden, I’ll talk to him,” Mia volunteered.
“Not at all. They’ve been too preoccupied with the wedding.”
Ashley touched Alina’s arm. “Is that it? Are you feeling left out?”
Kinda. But not in the way Ashley meant. She felt left out of love.
And this was Ashley’s big day, not Alina’s Pity Party.
Alina gave her a hug. “Thanks for worrying about me, but I’m fine. I’m over-the-moon happy for you and Beck.” She smiled at Mia. “And you and Caden.”
; “It may sound cliché but it will happen for you someday.” Ashley’s bright optimism gave Alina hope.
The music played outside. “It’s happening for you right now.” Alina took her place behind Mia and accepted the lovely bouquet of white roses the florist handed her. Mia made her way down the aisle. Alina waited her turn and spotted Beck impatiently waiting at the front, his eyes locked on the space behind her where Ashley waited just out of sight. Love and hope shone in his eyes. A love she’d seen grow these last many months.
The wedding coordinator signaled her to go. Alina turned to Ashley first. “Thank you for making my brother so happy. I love you. Welcome to the family.”
Ashley’s eyes glistened with unshed tears. “Thank you, Alina. That means so much to me. I love you, too.”
Alina walked out the door feeling better, knowing she did have love in her life. And one day, she’d find her true love.
Of all the many guests staring at her as she walked down the aisle, one drew her eye but she turned away. There might be fire between them but Alina wasn’t about to get burned by a man who felt right but was all wrong.
Chapter Four
Jay wanted to wring Alina’s pretty neck, kiss her, and drag her back to his bed all at the same time. Instead, he took another sip of his beer. No more whiskey. He’d save the high-priced champagne for toasting the bride and groom dancing together under a massive crystal chandelier surrounded by their family and friends. They looked so damn happy.
They deserved that kind of happiness.
And he was beginning to think he’d done something to piss off the fates and the universe so that every woman who came into his life found it so easy to walk right back out of it. Of course, he’d done a poor job of making them want to stay. He’d certainly never found himself thinking about buying a diamond ring and making a promise for forever. Hell, he couldn’t even promise he’d show up for a date. But somehow Caden and Beck managed to make it work. They found women who understood them and the life they lived and how their work was more than a job.
Tempted by Love Page 3