Several now looked harder at her husband, their expressions twisting between shock and dismay.
But still John held his ground. Placing his hands on his hips, he said, “There were many of us in that tent. I find it difficult to believe that you know so much about what happened.”
“After the explosion, everything was in disarray. After burying the dead, the men that were left were ordered to march south.” Lloyd grimaced. “It was a difficult journey. Disease spread through the ranks and I ended up in another hospital, half delirious with fever. Only three weeks ago was I able to head home.”
Jeremiah stepped forward, raised his hands, and gently waved them in the air, both claiming the crowd’s attention and calming the brewing apprehension. “Tossing accusations about is not our way.”
“Neither is assuming other people’s identities,” Lloyd countered.
Jeremiah looked pained. He breathed in deeply before replying. “Lloyd, we are grateful to the Lord that you have survived. It is an answer to many prayers. Let us move away from the doorway now and enjoy the bountiful feast Martha Miller has provided for us.”
Several people in the back nodded and started to turn away.
But to everyone’s surprise, Lloyd shook his head. “Nee. I aim to put things to rights. Now. We have an imposter in our midst. It needs to be corrected.”
Sarah was shaking like a leaf but she knew what had to be done. “Lloyd, you are forgetting that this is my husband,” she said with a false smile. “I, of all people, would know who Daniel is.”
But instead of looking chagrined, Lloyd’s expression turned darker. “If you are this man’s wife, then there is no doubt in my mind that you know for certain that he is not Daniel Ropp. And to me, that makes you even worse, Sarah. You have taken in a man who is a liar. Who chose to adopt another man’s life. I am almost more ashamed of you than him.”
John raised his head. “That was uncalled for. You will apologize this minute.”
Pandemonium rang out as everyone defended John and crowded around Sarah. Tears of relief fell down her cheeks as she realized that their secret wasn’t going to be divulged. At least, not yet.
John took her arm and leaned close. “Let me take you home, Sarah.”
Then Zeke carefully clapped his hands three times. Little by little, all talk quieted as he claimed their attention. “Lloyd, you sound mighty sure of yourself.”
“I am.”
“Then tell us, how do you know for sure that this man here ain’t Daniel?”
“Besides the fact that I buried Daniel myself, I know because, like the rest of you, I’ve spent many an hour in Daniel’s company. I’ve spent time with him, and I’ve seen him with his wife. And because of that I know without a doubt that I am right.”
Jeremiah glared, obviously losing patience with all the grandstanding. “We do not need to sort this out now. It is not the right time or place.”
Lloyd shook his head. “Of course this is the right time and place.” Scanning the crowd, he said quietly, “Is there ever a wrong time to speak the truth . . . even if it isn’t what we want to hear?”
As Lloyd’s words echoed through the crowd, Sarah couldn’t deny the truth in them.
She turned to John, met his gaze, then watched as he stepped away from her.
“Lloyd is right,” John said. He swallowed hard, then pulled his shoulders back. “He was right about everything. As it says in Proverbs, ‘Truthful words stand the test of time, but lies are soon exposed.’ ”
As Lloyd’s eyes glittered with triumph, and everyone around her stared at John in confusion, Sarah realized that she’d only thought she’d experienced heartache before.
But nothing had ever been as painful as realizing that she was about to lose the one man she’d ever loved. The one man who had loved her back.
Eighteen
Redemption
JOHN FIGURED THAT there was a time in each man’s life when he was given more than he deserved. Perhaps a man was blessed with a good head on his shoulders; maybe it was a strong back. Other men he knew had been blessed with family that loved them unconditionally.
His blessing had been the gift of two precious months with Sarah.
For nearly the last thirty days, he’d lived in a real home and had been blessed to be in a real relationship. Still, it reflected sadly on his life that he’d had only thirty days to call truly special. It was true then, that those thirty days were more than he deserved.
But he was never a man to feel sorry for himself, or to fight the things that were painfully obvious.
Which meant that he was right to finally confess the truth. It was time to stop pretending his continued lies would somehow help Sarah, because nothing could help her now. He’d damaged her reputation beyond repair. He’d ruined her. And there was every reason to suppose that no one would ever believe her now. Or would ever hold her in esteem.
Clearing his throat, he stared at the men and women surrounding them. At everyone except Sarah. At this moment, he couldn’t bear to meet her gaze. All it would do was make things harder.
“I am Jonathan Scott,” he said simply. “And I came to Holmes County in order to claim property of Daniel Ropp’s.”
Though he didn’t really feel the need to observe everyone’s reaction to his confession, his gaze strayed toward Zeke. The younger man was glaring at him—and looking a bit full of himself, too. Almost as if he’d just been vindicated.
“You did more than that,” Zeke said, unabashedly meeting John’s gaze.
John shrugged. “You are right. I . . . I was even willing to pretend to be Daniel Ropp in order to get what I wanted.”
Zeke glared. “And you brought Sarah into your dark scheme?”
“Not intentionally.” After darting a quick look at Sarah, he amended his words. “I mean, not at first. At first, I lied to Sarah, too. I have no defense for myself.”
Curious, stunned silence met his words.
Contempt filled Lloyd’s expression. “You adopted another man’s life. You lied to us all. You are truly an evil man.”
John bent his head, ready to accept their disdain, but to his surprise, Sarah stepped closer and came to his defense.
“He is not evil. I promise you all, he is not. You must give him a chance.”
“A chance?” Lloyd raised his eyebrows at the crowd. “He has already had too many chances, I think.”
The preacher raised his arm again, silencing them with one quick slash of his hand.
John braced himself for the worst. But instead, Jeremiah stared at John in such a way that it felt as if the holy man could look into his eyes and read his darkest, most private thoughts.
“Jonathan Scott, why would you do such a thing?” he inquired. “Why would you bring such grief and strife upon our community? Why would you dishonor a pure and moral widow like you did?”
John’s heart felt like it had slowed to the speed of the slow, steady beat the drummer boys had tapped out on the battlefield.
Apprehension settled in. He knew his insides felt dire. He didn’t want to lose Sarah. He didn’t want to leave Holmes County. But more importantly, he didn’t want Sarah to suffer if it was decided that he should be banished from their community.
He chose his words with care. “I know all of you might find this difficult to believe, but I promise that I never meant to betray all of you. I certainly never intended to hurt Sarah.”
“Your words sound sincere, and I want to believe you. But that does not negate the fact that you did those things anyway,” Jeremiah pointed out. “It’s time to explain yourself.”
A hundred reasons filled his head. The money jar. The idea of being a landowner. Later, a home. Overriding everything was Sarah, and the way she’d changed his life, his whole outlook on his future.
But her impact was so personal, so meaningful to him, he didn’t want to sully her name by connecting it with his. Not right at this moment. She was going to have enough pain without him making things
worse. “I had my reasons. However, they are private.”
“You are going to have to give us more explanation than that,” Lloyd said.
John wasn’t eager to share anything, but as he scanned the crowd, seeing the disbelief and hurt etched on everyone’s faces, he knew that they did deserve something more than a terse statement.
Not daring to look at Sarah for fear that he would fall apart, he said, “I did meet Daniel in the war. I also fought by his side. When we weren’t in battle, we spent time together sitting, sharing stories, talking—as soldiers often do.” He looked at the men and women gathered, unable to keep a small smile from appearing. “For months, he talked about his home and his community. He talked about how much you all meant to him. When he died, I decided to do something I originally would have never imagined I was capable of doing. While I did that, I got to know Sarah.”
Inwardly, he winced. Even to his ears his explanation sounded weak and reprehensible.
“That is your only explanation?” Zeke asked as the crowd grumbled.
“That is all I am willing to discuss, though I do have one last thing to say,” he said, fearing that he might have already said too much publicly. “What I did, what I perpetrated on you all? It was unforgivable. I know this. To try to justify myself would be wrong. To ask your forgiveness would be shameful.”
Pausing to take a breath, he glanced warily at Sarah.
She was still standing next to him, but her expression looked frozen, her eyes almost devoid of emotion. She looked like a paper replica of herself, so thin and weak. So frail, he feared she was on the verge of collapse.
Just then he noticed how the rest of the congregation seemed to be doing their best to pretend she didn’t exist, or else were gazing at her with expressions of distaste.
Though he knew little about the Amish faith, he knew enough to realize that she was going to be cast out from her whole community. He could try to defend her, but it wouldn’t do much good. His selfish reasons to obtain a fortune in all the wrong ways had obviously been unsuccessful.
And it didn’t matter that it was unintentional. The damage had been done.
Zeke stepped forward, righteous anger evident in each step. “We offered your friendship. We welcomed you. You took a good man and ruined his memory. You have tainted us all with your sins and lies. You must leave.”
John ached to say that Daniel Ropp had been a great many things, but he had certainly not been the good man Zeke was making him out to be. He certainly hadn’t been a caring husband to his honorable wife.
However, no matter how flawed Daniel had been, his sins paled when compared to John’s. “I will leave you all at the earliest opportunity,” he said quietly. “You will never see me again.”
“As if that would help your soul. As if that would help anything.” Zeke sneered. “You ruined Sarah.”
John flinched and turned to Sarah, looking for a sign. Looking for anything to give him hope. But instead, she remained motionless. Frozen and strong. Didn’t so much as flinch.
And then he realized what Zeke’s true meaning had been. He wasn’t thinking simply of Sarah caring for or taking in a man like him. No, they were thinking of something far darker.
Their condemnation was so disquieting, her hurt was so heartbreaking, and his feelings so strong, he lashed out. “I did not ruin Sarah. I’ve barely touched her,” he blurted before he could remind himself that he’d sworn to keep her name off his tongue. “But in many ways, you all did. You blamed her for her husband’s cruelty and headstrong ways. You ignored her when she was all alone, choosing instead of focus on your own needs.”
“That isn’t true,” Zeke said. “We all looked out for her.”
“You gave her charity. You gave her what you could, hoping to feel good about yourselves, but you didn’t offer her what she needed the most . . . your friendship.”
“I wouldn’t be so quick to cast stones,” one of the women in the crowd said. “It would seem to me that you have plenty of sins to pay for.”
“I do. And I know for the rest of my life I will rue the day I neglected to see the right path for myself, concentrating on how desolate my life felt instead. I should have kept my faith.”
“We have no need to hear any more words about your faults and failures,” Lloyd said. “It don’t serve no purpose, except to remind us all of how you lied and knowingly set to fool us.”
Of course, that was not what he’d set out to do. All he’d really wanted was to take some money no one else knew existed and create a life for himself. It was only after experiencing Sarah’s kindness and love that his intentions got waylaid.
Lloyd’s glare burned. “What we should do is string you up to the nearest tree.” His face flushed as he shook a fist in the air. “That is what your kind would do, you know. And for once? Why, I agree with it. You deserve nothing. You have put the whole community in jeopardy.”
Zeke stepped forward, his eyes glittering with anger. “Jonathan Scott is the very worst sort of man. He duped all of us. No doubt he spent many an evening laughing at our gullibility. Sarah, too.”
“No,” John blurted.
Zeke raised his brows. “No, what? No you didn’t laugh at us? No, Sarah didn’t join you?”
“No, you shouldn’t bring her into my misdeeds.”
Looking pained, Jeremiah clapped his hands twice. When Lloyd, Zeke, and John turned to him, he shook his head in dismay. “I will have no more talk like that, especially from you, Lloyd and Zeke.”
Zeke puffed out his chest. “Me?”
The formidable preacher’s gray eyebrows snapped together. “You, son, are letting your tongue wag your brain. I am sure when you lift your head and clear your hurts you will realize that you are saying words you do not mean.” With a small grunt of impatience, he turned to Lloyd. “And you, Lloyd, need to rethink your anger. Though you have just returned from battle, I must say that I am surprised at the way that you rushed to cast stones.”
Lloyd and Zeke looked away but didn’t apologize.
With a sigh, the preacher pushed his way through the circle of men to stand in front of Sarah. “Sarah, what do you have to say about all this?”
It hurt to see her questioned publicly. For most of her life, she’d suffered in silence. Made do with less. Expected nothing from her neighbors and been offered nothing.
Unable to stop himself, he wrapped an arm around her shoulders. He needed to touch her in some way so she knew that she wasn’t alone. Her muscles eased under his hand, making him realize that she’d truly thought he would let her stand alone in front of the crowd.
“She had nothing to do with my transgressions,” he blurted. “Sarah is blameless. An innocent.”
Sarah still stood stoically, but he felt a small tremor pass through her like a sigh.
John hoped his words would deflect any further focus on Sarah, but Jeremiah had other plans.
Looking aggrieved by John’s interruption, he said, “Jonathan Scott, you have had your opportunity to speak. So has Lloyd. Both of you, along with Ezekiel here, are talking about what Sarah did or didn’t do. But that ain’t enough. I, for one, would like to hear what she has to say.”
Feeling like his heart was breaking, John met her gaze. In that one second, it felt as if a thousand thoughts and yearnings were being exchanged.
Still eager to protect her—even though this whole mess was his fault—he drew a breath. He was ready to remind her that she didn’t need to say anything at all. But she held up a hand.
“I need to do this, John,” she said quietly before facing the preacher. “Jeremiah, it is true that at first I was fooled. For a long time I thought he was Daniel, returned from the war. I was relieved he was back, glad he had not died.”
It was obvious that she was choosing each word with care, weighing it in her mind before sharing. After a brief pause, she visibly steeled herself and spoke again. “But then I began to suspect this man was not the Daniel I had known. Actually, though I t
ried hard to ignore what my eyes and ears saw, I was fairly sure he was not my husband.”
With a shy smile his way, she shook her head. “This man, he was too different. Actually, I have a feeling that my heart knew he was not Daniel way before my brain accepted that.”
“But yet you didn’t say anything to the rest of us.” Zeke glared. “Why on earth not? I, I mean, we could have saved you.”
“But I didn’t need saving.”
“Of course—”
“Let her speak, Ezekiel,” Jeremiah interrupted. His tone was so stern, his piercing glare so adamant, no man would have ignored him.
John stood helplessly as he watched Sarah—his wife—gather her strength. After the briefest of hesitations, she pulled her shoulders back, lifted her chin, and raised her voice. Almost as if she was daring one and all to disregard her words.
“Zeke, I didn’t need saving because part of me liked this new man.” With yet another small smile at him, she added, “John, here, was an answer to my prayers.”
Several people frowned at her. Some even eyed her with disapproval. But Sarah didn’t seem bothered any longer.
“The truth of the matter is that I began to suspect John was not Daniel when he didn’t slap me across the face or jerk my arm when I didn’t follow his bidding right away,” she said, her voice strong and sure. “I began to doubt he was my husband when he didn’t yell at me for the hens laying only two eggs instead of three. Or when I spilled the water I’d heated for his bath.”
John ached for Sarah as she folded her arms around her waist. She was so obviously striving for control.
“That had been what I was used to, you see.”
Dismay filled the crowd, along with a few shaking heads.
But John also noticed that no one acted terribly surprised. No, from what he could discern, they seemed only stunned that she would admit such things.
Every fiber of his being wanted to step in, to tell her that she didn’t need to defend herself or him any longer. But by now he knew her well enough to realize that she needed to tell everyone her story. She needed it as much as he’d needed to believe that there was something more to life than pain and heartache.
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