Baby Love Lite

by ANDREA SMITH

  I was feeding Preston on our bed watching ‘Ellen’ on the flat screen in our bedroom. I was most comfortable lying on my side having her snuggled on her side in front of me.

  She was being a lazy eater this afternoon for some reason. She'd doze off for a while, then wake and clamp down on my nipple nursing for a few minutes before she drifted off to sleep again. This was my favorite time of each day; feeding my sweet baby girl. I loved the feel and the smell of her. I'd never felt this kind of love before. It was a different kind of love than what I had for Trey. It'd been so immediate and so strong from the beginning. It was so unconditional, this baby love.

  I thought about my mother and wondered why she'd never felt that ‘baby love’ for me. I banished the thought of her from my mind. It was only painful and for now I wanted to enjoy this bonding with my daughter.

  I looked down at her. She'd fallen back to sleep again, my nipple had slipped from her little rosebud mouth. I kissed the top of her head and inhaled her sweet baby scent.

  Ellen had that chick on her show from the Twilight saga movies, grilling her about her infidelities that'd gone viral in the media. The poor girl kept twisting her hair and running her hands through it like she was uncomfortable having to talk without a script. Clearly she was out of her comfort zone. My cell phone vibrated on the nightstand next to the bed. I scooted over to get it trying to make sure that I didn’t wake Preston. It was Trey.

  “Hey,” I answered quietly.

  “Hey, you,” he said in his smooth and silky voice. “Did I catch you at a bad time?”

  “No, I’m just lying on the bed with Preston. She just fell asleep. I’m watching Ellen. How's your day going?”

  “Well sweetie, I’m going to be a little late this evening. I wanted to let you know in case you had dinner planned. We've a partner’s meeting at 6:00 p.m. so I probably won’t be home until close to 7:30 p.m. Is that going to screw anything up?”

  “I have Pilates at eight o'clock with Gina, remember?”

  “Shit, that’s right. What time does she pick you up?”

  “About a quarter till eight."

  “Okay baby. I'll do my best not to be any later than seven-thirty I promise.”

  “You better not be,” I warned. “You want me back in shape, don’t you?”

  “I think you look great just the way you are, right now.”

  “You’re just horny, Trey,” I laughed.

  “Speaking of which,” he replied.

  “I see Dr. Addison next week, Trey. He's to check me to make sure I’m healed before he gives you the green light.”

  “Make sure he knows that my balls are blue, will you?”

  I giggled at this. He wasn't the martyr he was making himself out to be. “I’ve been taking care of you, Mr. Sinclair,” I replied, “Quite often, as a matter of fact.”

  “I know baby, and I love what your mouth does for me but I miss . . . . Hold on . . ."

  Someone must've entered Trey’s office as he left the sentence hanging. I could hear a muffled conversation.

  “Sorry, Tylar,” he said. “Tonya needed me to sign something. Where were we?”

  “I believe you were complaining about blue balls?”

  “Oh, yeah, and you're telling me they're likely to get bluer?”

  “Honey, Dr. Addison initially said six weeks; it's only been four. He'll check my stitches when I go in next week and we'll take it from there.”

  “Will Preston be able to start sleeping in her room by then?” he asked.

  Oh God – is this the right time to discuss the ‘family bed’?

  “Well, Trey, I sort of thought it might be best if she stayed in our room as long as I’m breastfeeding.”

  “How long do you intend to breast feed?”

  “I don’t know. I mean some mother’s breast feed until the child reaches two years of age.”

  “You're not fucking serious, right?"

  “Why don’t we discuss this later? I really need to get her into her bassinet and start dinner okay?”

  “We'll definitely discuss this later,” he said, not hiding his irritation.

  “So, dinner will be waiting when you get in this evening. I love you, Trey.”

  “Love you, too.”

  I could tell he wasn't gonna be a happy camper when I approached him about the ‘family bed’. I'd have to carefully plan my strategy on that one. I gently picked Preston up and kissed her cheeks softly. Her lashes were long and thick like Trey’s. I placed her into the bassinet and pulled the blanket up to her waist. I gazed down as she stretched and put her hand to her face, her thumb finding its place in her mouth.

  She'd started sucking her thumb in the hospital. Trey'd been worried it would cause problems when her teeth came in. Her pediatrician wasn't. We'd encouraged a pacifier multiple times which she'd promptly spit back out in favor of her thumb. Trey said that she was stubborn like me. It amused me that all of the negative qualities she'd exhibited so far was attributed to my genetic contribution.

  I went to the kitchen to start making my special meatloaf for dinner with scalloped potatoes. Thirty minutes later, both the meatloaf and potatoes were in the oven set to bake for one hour.

  Seeing that Preston was still sleeping, I took a quick shower. My long, leisurely bubble baths were history, for now. Ten minutes later I dressed in capri pants and a tank top to accommodate June’s warm and muggy weather. I packed my gym bag for Pilates so it would be ready when Gina arrived.

  When Trey walked through the door at five minutes to seven that evening I had Preston in her plastic tub bathing her on the kitchen counter. She'd learned to splash her bath water quite well with those little arms of hers. I was getting the bulk of it on my once dry clothing.

  “Hi, honey, just in time,” I called out as he set his briefcase down.

  He came up behind and wrapped his arms around me nuzzling my neck. I still got goose bumps when his warm lips touched me anywhere. I was supporting the baby’s head; a clean towel was thrown over my shoulder.

  “Trey,” I said laughing, maneuvering myself around him, “could you hold the towel so that I can get her wrapped? I’m going to need to change my shirt before Gina gets here.”

  “Sure baby,” he answered, pulling the towel from my shoulder and coming around next to me. I lifted Preston from the warm bath her little legs were kicking water onto both of us. Trey placed the towel behind her, wrapping it over each side of her as I lifted one hand and then the other so we could properly swaddle her. He was becoming an expert at this. Bundled up, I drew the baby against me as I leaned into Trey in order to kiss him properly. Our lips met in a long, leisurely kiss. I missed him when he was at work all day. It'd been different when I was working at the firm with him. Even though our relationship didn’t officially exist there, we would still see each other in passing and occasionally for lunch.

  Preston was squirming against me; I could feel her rooting for my breast. I pulled back from Trey, lifting my shirt up to give her access to what she wanted.

  “Mmmm,” I sighed wanting more.

  Trey leaned down and kissed the top of her head, greeting her as 'Bobbin'. He'd nicknamed her that because of the way her head bobbed as a newborn. I glanced at the clock. I'd ten minutes before Gina would be here. I asked Trey to warm up one of the bottles in the fridge I'd prepared so he could finish feeding her. In less than a minute, our daughter was safely ensconced in her father’s arms finishing her dinner while I went back to our room to change.

  Trey would have to dress her when she finished eating. He was still a bit nervous about that part thinking she'd break. I'd assured him numerous times that she wouldn't. Once I'd pulled a clean tee shirt on, I gathered up my gym bag, along with a disposable diaper, cotton nightgown, booties and a light receiving blanket for Preston.

  Back in the living room, the doorman buzzed that Gina was on her way up. I placed the receiving blanket over Trey’s left shoulder so that when he burped the baby his Armani jacket would b
e protected. Her tiny little fingers were clutching and tugging at his long slender ones wrapped around the bottle. My heart swelled watching father and daughter bond.

  I let Gina in and she immediately wanted to hold Preston before we left for Pilates. Trey grudgingly pulled the bottle away from her, carefully cradling her head as Gina bent to take her from him. Gina rocked her within her arms, swaying her back and forth while talking to her.

  “Who's the prettiest baby in Atlanta, huh, Preston? Is it you? Is it you? Aunt Gina thinks it is. Aunt Gina thinks Preston's the most beautiful baby girl in the whole world.”

  It amused me how otherwise perfectly sane adults would babble like idiots when a baby was around. Not that I was immune to the same type of behavior. While Gina was busy rocking and cradling Preston, I decided to fill Trey in on my pre-departure instructions.

  “Trey, your dinner's warming in the oven. Please diaper and dress the baby as soon as Gina hands her back.”

  “Yes, Tylar,” he replied acting like an exasperated husband, but smiling.

  “Now her swing's in your study so if you've work to do keep her in there with you.”

  He nodded affirmatively. “I think I can handle that, babe; I mean we did just fine last week, remember?”

  “Well, except for the mustard explosion on our duvet, I guess so.”

  “The what?” Gina asked, rocking back and forth with Preston.

  Trey groaned knowing that I delighted in sharing this story with whoever cared to listen.

  “Well, Trey thought it'd be good for Preston to lay on our bed next to him while he channel surfed so that she could thoroughly dry from her bath. He hadn’t even diapered her yet. Unfortunately, he became so engrossed in watching something on ESPN he forgot about her until he heard the sound of our daughter passing gas. When he looked down to check, he saw that she'd passed much more than gas on our lovely new duvet.”

  “Oh, no!” Gina laughed hysterically.

  “Oh, yes,” I said, nodding my head.

  “Breastfed baby poop is the color of mustard. You can imagine how that looked on our new wheat-colored duvet.”

  “Way to go, counselor,” she teased.

  Trey rolled his eyes at her. I gave him a kiss grabbing my gym bag. “I should be back before 9:30,” I said. “You two have a good time.”

  Gina raised Preston up to her face, giving her a kiss on her dimpled cheek. “Look guys – she’s smiling at me!”

  Uh oh

  Gina relinquished Preston to Trey, who lifted her and placed her gently against his right shoulder just as she projectile spit-up all over the lapel of his Armani suit jacket.

  “Oops,” Gina murmured, apologetically. “Maybe I jostled her a little too much, just now.”

  Trey cocked an eyebrow at her. “You think, Gina?”

  Once out of earshot Gina was still laughing. “Seriously Ty, he's adorable with her, I have to admit.”

  “I know,” I replied warmly. “He's surpassed my expectations as a father. I mean, I knew that he'd eventually get with the program, but right from the start he's been a major help with the baby.”

  We were in Gina’s car on the way to the gym and she'd been quiet for the past few minutes. “Ian and I are off birth control,” she stated quietly.

  “That's so great, Gina! I hope you get pregnant quickly so that there isn’t too much of an age difference between our babies.”

  “Wouldn’t that be so cool? I want to breastfeed, too. You make it look so easy, Ty.”

  “It's easy,” I admitted. “But more than that, it's just so special the way it makes you feel. Did I tell you that I want to start sleep-sharing?”

  “Sleep sharing? What's that?”

  I explained to Gina that many parents that are breastfeeding their infants are now opting to have the "family bed", which is where the mother, father, and baby all sleep together. It's supposed to help with total family bonding as well as benefit the infant promoting security and self-confidence.

  “So, the Hot Nazi is down with that?”

  “Well, actually, I haven’t discussed it with Trey, in any detail yet.”

  “Right,” she laughed. “You be sure and let me know how that goes, alright?”

  “I think Trey will be on board with it,” I lied.

  “I hate to state the obvious here, girlfriend, but it looks like I have to. How in the hell are you two supposed to have a sex life with a baby there in bed with you all night long?”

  I flushed knowing that this would be the same argument I could expect from Trey when I approached him on it.

  “Gina,” I replied patiently, “it enhances the specialness for couples as they find more creative and spontaneous times and places in their schedules to accommodate their lovemaking in private.”

  I'd practically memorized this verbatim from the information I'd found online relative to the ‘family bed’.

  “Right,” Gina replied. “I’m gonna go out on a limb here and say that there isn’t going to be any ‘family bed’ in your house as long as Trey is living there.”

  She started snickering. I ignored her for the moment fairly certain that she was right.

  Pilates was brutal, but well worth it, when I got home and weighed myself on the bathroom scale. I'd lost two more pounds since last week. I had only four more pounds to go until I'd be back to my pre-pregnancy weight.

  Trey was in our bedroom watching something on ESPN. Preston was sleeping soundly in her bassinet next to our bed. I crawled up on the bed next to Trey.

  “How'd she do for you?" I asked him.

  “She was a perfect angel as always,” he boasted gently tugging at my ponytail to draw my face close to his. He kissed me warmly.

  “I’m going to grab a shower; want to join me?” I asked. He gave me his dimpled grin. Within moments we were soaping each other up in the shower, enjoying the feel of our hands all over each other. We quickly towel dried ourselves then made a beeline for the bed while we had this window of opportunity before Preston would demand my attention once again.

  We crawled beneath the sheets still damp from our shower. Trey was on his back, his arm crooked beneath his head, watching me as I traced his nipple with my tongue. I continued on a southward path down his taut belly and below. My hands caressed his hips and massaged his firm ass. I parted his thighs and crawled between his legs and knelt, bending over to allow my damp hair to caress his belly while I took his manhood into my mouth. I gently flicked my tongue along the growing length of it.

  “Mmmm,” I moaned, as I brought his erection to fullness. I went up and down on him, rocking back and forth to take his full length into my mouth. My tongue swirled hungrily around and around the head, tasting his clear fluid as his hips gyrated with pleasure. I could tell my massaging was bringing considerable pleasure to him. He moaned each time I increased the pressure in a different area.

  “Oh, baby,” he rasped, “You ready for some protein?”

  His hips were thrusting faster and harder now. I moaned loving the taste of him; hungry for the warm, salty protein he was about to give me. I sucked harder now; working my mouth to bring him his pleasured release.

  Just then Preston started fussing from her bassinet. I could hear her sucking loudly on her fingers. She was hungry and it was right on schedule. I tried to increase my rhythm on Trey, going up and down on him faster. He'd slowed his thrusting, distracted by the baby’s fussing. Her discomfort was quickly escalating into full-blown crying.

  It was no use. The window of opportunity had slammed shut for the moment. His hands framed my head, brushing my hair back and raising me up gently so that I could see his face.

  “Take care of Preston, baby. I can wait.”

  He smiled at me with his still smoldering eyes that were hungry for fulfillment. We both understood that she was our priority now.

  I scooted out of our bed and lifted my hungry baby to my breast. She rooted for a couple of seconds before firmly latching on to my nipple. I climbed back up next
to Trey, pulling the sheet up around us as he pulled me back against him, resting an arm around my shoulder.

  Preston’s sapphire blue eyes were wide as she locked her gaze onto me, her tiny fingers kneading my breast. She was sucking contentedly. I looked down at her thinking about what she'd interrupted. She smiled up at me, dimpling the same way Trey did, a droplet of milk running down her chin. I lowered my lips to her forehead kissing her softly.

  CHAPTER 2

  Dr. Addison cleared me as being healed at my appointment. He indicated that I could resume full sexual activity. The doctor and I discussed birth control that would accommodate my breast-feeding. I decided to be fitted for a diaphragm; it was the most risk-free option in my mind. I discussed the “family bed” with Dr. Addison, confiding to him my fears that Trey would shoot it down due to our “robust” sex life. Dr. Addison chuckled. I'd a feeling he'd heard it all before.

  “The most important thing is that both you and Trey be fully committed to doing this. That's the only way that it'll successfully work. Discuss it amongst yourselves; identify the pros and cons and then mutually decide what's best for all of you.”

  “Thanks Dr. Addison, I will,” I promised. “I realize that it's a commitment for both of us.”

  “Speaking of which, I understand that you and Trey are to be married next month?”

  “Yes,” I smiled. "We’re getting married on July 4th at his family home in Virginia.”

  “Independence Day, huh?”

  “Yes, doctor. I guess you see the irony in that as well.”

  I smiled, as it'd become a family joke with the Sinclair’s since we'd told them.

  “I think that you and Trey will make a wonderful family with your precious baby. Best wishes to you both.”

  On the way home, I contemplated how I'd broach the subject of the family bed, though it wasn't just that; it involved abstinence as well. I knew that Trey would be quizzing me at his earliest opportunity about what the doctor had said about resuming sex. The truth was there was just under a month left until our wedding. Part of me wanted to honor tradition and practice abstinence until our wedding night. Having him agree to the family bed would certainly make that part easier.