She didn’t respond, didn’t react at all, actually. I reached out and covered her hand with mine, absurdly grateful that she didn’t try to pull away from me. “I’m really sorry.”
After what felt like an eternity she gave a little nod. She’d accepted my apology.
“Tell me how I can make this right.”
When she lifted her eyes I caught a glimmer of humor.
“And please, for the love of God, don’t tell me to get back together with Hayley.”
She grinned and I felt the full force of that smile in my gut.
“Fine,” she said. “I won’t make you get back together with Hayley.” She whipped out a script that looked mangled from being stuck in her back pocket so often. “But you’d better impress the hell out of me with your acting skills.”
Chapter Nine
Alice
There were no two ways about it. Brian Kirkland was a bad actor. I mean, bad. He stank. Somehow he seemed even worse when he was running lines with me in our basement.
It didn’t help that the first two times I had him read his lines I was barely able to concentrate. I couldn’t stop thinking about what I should have said, what I should have done.
I’d been so angry when he’d first showed up, but then… Well, then I believed him when he’d said he’d started the whole stupid lie to save me.
Did I like being cast as the damsel in distress? Of course not. But was I little touched by the fact that he’d rushed to my rescue? Maybe just a little.
Part of me wanted to argue the point and tell him I didn’t care what Julian thought. I wanted to tell him that I wasn’t like him, I didn’t have an image to protect.
But that would have been a lie. I didn’t care about my image—at least, not the way Brian did. I didn’t care that most of the school didn’t know I existed. Or if they knew who I was now, it was as the strumpet who stole Hayley Hayes’ boyfriend.
I didn’t really care about any of that, not really.
But trying to explain to Julian that I’d lied and then run away because I was so horrified at the sight of him with another girl… That was another matter entirely.
I’d choked back there in the hallway. He’d been asking me for an explanation and even though I’d rehearsed what I would say all weekend, I couldn’t get the words out. The truth would have been so brutally embarrassing.
And then Brian was there and he was giving me an out and yeah, maybe I’d taken just a little bit of delight in Julian’s shock.
The silence in my basement alerted me to the fact that Brian had ceased speaking, which meant it was my turn. I’d been reading Hayley’s role, trying to give him something to work off of.
Before I could recover and read the line, Brian dropped his script on the couch between us. “I’m that bad, aren’t I? You’re ready to give up on me already. Just admit it.”
He was only partially teasing and the honest glimpse of vulnerability made the last of my anger toward him evaporate.
I also forced myself to shove all thoughts of this afternoon and that kiss firmly out of my mind once and for all.
“You are pretty bad,” I said. What? I’m not a good liar, and Brian wouldn’t have appreciated the attempt anyway.
He cringed. “Why did I let you talk me into staying?” His eyes lit up as he shifted to face me. “If I quit now, Hayley will get over it and the play can resume with its star.”
I was shaking my head before he was done, even though a little part of my brain was seriously considering the idea. But doing that…it just felt wrong. It felt like Hayley would win, and I did not want her to win.
I also didn’t want Brian to leave the play.
There it was, the truth I had to face. I didn’t want to face it so I focused on arguing instead. “Bry, you are not a quitter.”
He arched his brows in surprise, amusement making his lips twitch up at the corners. “Do you know how cute you look when you give me that look?”
My heart skipped a beat and immediately after I had to fight the urge to roll my eyes. I would not get all weak-kneed and silly just because Brian Kirkland called me cute. He was probably setting me up for a joke.
Meanwhile, in the dark depths of my mind, that kiss was being replayed, relived, and relished.
I wanted to do it again.
What did that mean? Was it just hormones or did it mean something more? I didn’t have a lot of experience.
Okay, I had zero experience, which meant I had nothing to compare this to. Was that normal? Did all girls get so bent out of shape over one quick kiss in the hallway? Did everyone experience a jolt of electricity and have the unsettling sensation that the world had turned upside down after one kiss?
Something told me probably not. But good chemistry didn’t necessarily mean anything more than just that. Maybe our pheromones were hot for each other. That was a thing, right?
“I would love to know what you’re thinking right now,” Brian said.
My gaze shot up and I realized I’d been staring at his lips. And he…oh holy hell. He was staring at my lips.
I couldn’t breathe. Maybe it was just because I’d been thinking about that kiss, but the air between us seemed to sizzle. The silence grew heavy and filled with tension.
Not a bad tension, just a tension. Like something might snap at any moment.
And when it did, I hoped he’d kiss me.
I honestly don’t know who moved first. One second we were sitting there on our respective couch cushions, and the next we were all over each other.
His mouth covered mine as he crushed me to him, pulling me onto his lap so I was sprawled across him.
I should have been offended. I should have pulled away. But it was like my body had a mind of its own. I had my arms wrapped around his neck and was holding him tight, meeting him kiss for kiss. He was holding me against him like he’d never let go and for the first time in a long time I felt…safe. Like I was home.
Did that make sense?
Maybe not, but then again, nothing about this whole scenario was making sense.
I should put a stop to this. I should take a breath and find my sanity.
But I couldn’t. He was like a drug. His kisses were intoxicating and the feel of his arms around me felt better than anything in the world. When his hands moved to my hair, tilting my head for better access so his tongue could tease mine, I nearly lost my grip on sanity altogether.
I definitely lost the battle with rational thought.
He just felt so good. And I was tired of thinking. He was making me feel things I’d never felt before and these sensations were too overwhelming. They didn’t allow me to do anything other than bask in this heady glow.
At some point the kiss stopped being hurried and frantic and it turned slow and deep, like he was savoring me.
Like he was cherishing me.
That sounds crazy, I know, but that’s how it felt. I felt seen, and felt, and adored.
The sound of the basement door opening and closing had us springing apart so quickly I nearly toppled over.
“Hon, I’ve got some lasagna heating up in the oven if you and Brian are hungry,” my mom called down.
Brian and I stared at each other for a second as the door closed upstairs once more. All I could hear was our labored breathing as we caught our breath. I was sprawled out unceremoniously on the opposite side of the couch and after two seconds of staring we both burst out laughing.
Like, gut clutching, tears in our eyes belly laughing.
Brian was doubled over, laughing so hard his whole body shook from it.
What. Was. That? That was all I could think as I struggled to breathe properly.
“What just happened?” he asked through his laughter. Apparently he’d been thinking the same thing.
I shook my head. “No idea.”
As the laughter died down, that old tension was back, but it was different this time. It’s hard to explain but I felt shy and nervous, but also…not. The way he was
looking at me made me shiver with anticipation.
He wanted to kiss me again.
That dark, intimate look in his eyes made me feel confident despite my shyness in the face of making out with Brian.
Brian Kirkland.
I just made out with Brian Kirkland.
Clearly my brain was still catching up.
“I want to kiss you again,” he said.
“I know.” Romantic? Not really. But it just kind of came out.
His lips hitched up in a lopsided smile that made my stomach do a backflip. Wow. I guess I could totally understand why every girl wanted this guy.
And he’d kissed me. Me! What was happening here?
He leaned forward a little and lowered his voice until it was husky and rumbly and made my insides tremble a little. “Do you want to kiss me back?”
I nodded. There was no use denying it. I totally wanted to kiss him again.
“This is crazy,” I whispered, because it needed to be said.
He nodded. “Yeah, it’s definitely…not expected.”
I let out a snort of amusement. “That’s quite the understatement.”
He grinned. “So it’s unexpected. So what? Weirder things have happened.”
I raised my brows. “Name one.”
He scratched his head. “Um…”
“Exactly.” I sat up straight and turned to face him. “What exactly are we doing here?”
He sat up too, his amusement obvious and also irritatingly infectious. “Kids these days are calling it kissing,” he started, taking on the tone of a professor lecturing his students.
“Shut up,” I said, smacking his arm. “I mean…”
Oh hell, what did I mean? I had too many questions and I didn’t know where to start. Some of them I just couldn’t bring myself to ask out loud. Like, what does this mean for us? Or, do you have feelings for me or is this just physical?
That last question I couldn’t ask because if he turned the tables and asked me in return, I had no idea what I’d say.
I settled for the most mundane. “What are we going to do in school tomorrow?”
“You mean because the entire school thinks we’re dating?” he asked. He had the good grace to look a little embarrassed by that, and well he should. Good intentions or not, he’d put us in a ridiculous situation.
“That’s exactly what I mean.” I crossed my arms. “I’m not sure you remember, but I kind of suck at lying.”
He nodded. “I remember. That’s why I lied for you.”
I really didn’t want to melt at those words, but my heart didn’t listen. I felt stupidly mushy and gooey over that twisted sentiment. It wasn’t exactly the act of a knight in shining armor, but it was oddly chivalrous in a boorish jock kind of way. I couldn’t even bring myself to remind him again of the awkward position he’d put me in.
Besides, we’d been through all that.
He shifted and I could tell he was nervous.
That made me nervous. Why? Because Brian Kirkland didn’t do nervous. He had more confidence than anyone I knew. He was so confident, he convinced everyone around him of whatever he wanted them to believe.
Just like that, it clicked. “I know why your acting stinks.”
He widened his eyes. “Seriously? We’re talking about us—” He gestured between the two of us as if there might be some question about which “us” he was referring to. “And now you want to critique my acting skills?”
I waved aside his concern. “You just need to own it.”
He blinked at me. “Excuse me?”
I scooted forward in my excitement and felt a now familiar thrill as he reached out and pulled me even closer as if it was the most normal thing in the world. My heart loved it, leaping for joy.
Focus! I took a deep breath and tried not to notice how good he smelled. For once during this weird day my brain would stay in control, even if it killed me.
I planted my hands on his shoulders to keep him—okay, and to keep myself—from accidentally giving in to the urge to get even closer still. I met his gaze and held it. “You, Brian Kirkland, are the most confident guy I know.”
He gave me a grin that was all cocky swagger, totally making my point.
“So where is that confidence when you’re reading your lines?” I asked. No, I badgered. I couldn’t help it, he was driving me nuts with his terrible acting, when I knew very well that he was quite possibly the best actor in our school.
The guy had been “acting” to some degree or another every day of his high school career.
He frowned at me. “What do you mean?”
“I mean,” I drawled out the word to show my impatience. “The second you get into character you start acting all self-conscious. It’s uncomfortable to watch you because you’re uncomfortable.”
He shrugged. “I can’t help it, I feel weird reading these lines and pretending to be someone I’m not. The whole thing is weird.”
“No,” I said. “It’s not weird. It’s acting. Get over it. It’s not all that different from what you do all the time.”
He narrowed his eyes. “Are you offending me right now? It’s hard to tell. The words sound mean but your tone sounds excited.”
I rolled my eyes. “I’m not trying to be mean. But you’ve got to admit there’s some truth to it. I mean, remember that whole pink shirt incident?”
He grinned. “You remember that?”
I swallowed back my immediate retort. Of course I remembered. That had been the beginning of the end for our best friendship. He’d suddenly discovered how cool he could be. How popular. And he’d chosen that popularity over me.
But whatever, that was ancient history. What mattered now was that he didn’t ruin my play. “You totally sold that shirt because you owned it. You acted so confident and cool that everyone thought you were either hot,” I rolled my eyes. “Or they thought you were cool for being different.”
Again with the eye rolls. Sue me. I might have held my tongue but I couldn’t entirely suppress my utter disgust for Brian or his sheep-like friends.
Brian was still smiling, apparently not put out by my eye rolls at his expense.
“You’re seriously adorable when you’re annoyed with me. It makes it hard to take you seriously.”
I gaped at him, torn straight down the middle between anger that he wasn’t taking me seriously and heart melting gooeyness that he found me adorable.
God, this was so confusing.
Before I could respond at all though, he’d moved on, coming to stand as he slapped his script on his open palm. He paced the room, fiddling with the script and I could practically see his brain working.
“So playing a part on stage,” he said, looking at me uncertainly. “It’s just like selling an image. It’s making people believe what you want them to believe.”
I resisted the urge to smack my forehead and say “duh” but I’m pretty sure my expression gave it away.
He smiled, this time with that same arrogant confidence that drove me nuts.
And maybe turned me on just a little.
Oh man, what was wrong with me? I made a mental note to tuck that thought far, far away where Brain could never find it. He was too cocky to begin with. If he ever thought that I was attracted to that arrogance, he would be insufferable.
More insufferable than he already was.
“Okay,” he said, turning to face me with all the confidence in the world in his expression. “I think I’ve got this.”
I let out a snort of laughter. “Just like that?”
He nodded. “Just like that.”
I sighed because I didn’t know what to say. People studied years to learn the craft of acting, and this guy thought he’d learned how to do it in a matter of minutes without even trying?
I didn’t say that though, because the truth was…I believed him.
Brian was an actor by nature, he just had to bring that natural talent onto the stage and into his characters.
“No
w,” he said, tossing his script aside as a sure sign that he was done with the acting portion of this evening. “Where were we?”
He stalked over to the couch until he was looming over me. His eyes glittered with mischievous amusement and something else—something so much sexier that it took my breath away.
He reached down, grabbed my hands, and tugged me up so I was standing directly in front of him, mere centimeters between us.
“Oh yes,” he said, his voice getting that rumbly sexy thing going on. “We were talking about us.”
Were we? I felt rather dazed as I gazed up into those dark, stormy eyes. My goodness, now I knew what romance novels were going on about. I could actually see him wanting me. Longing for me. It was…incredible. Humbling, even. It went beyond desire to something more. Something I wasn’t sure I was ready to decipher.
The thrill from it hovered somewhere between excited glee and terror. Yup, panic was about to rear its ugly head. I could feel it coming. Because that’s the thing with losing control and being swept away by a wave of emotions. The ride was thrilling and exciting and dangerous…and scary as all hell.
“What are we doing?” I whispered. I didn’t mean now, right this second. I meant in general. I meant what on earth was going on? Panic was about to set in and I needed an anchor in a major way.
He kissed me again, soft, sweet, and gentle. I felt my panic ease, the tension flowing out of me as he moved his lips over mine in a way that said he would take care of me. He would hold on and he wouldn’t let me drown.
Maybe I was reading too much into a kiss, but it did the trick. When he pulled his head back and met my gaze, the panic was gone.
I was still confused, though.
“I like this,” Brian said, his thumb brushing over my lower lip as he cradled my face in his big hands. This, I knew, meant the kissing. And maybe more? I decided to just go with kissing.
“Me too.” And I did. I liked it way too much. “But it’s confusing.”
He gave me a small smile that I could feel all the way down to my toes. “Is it, though? I mean, you and I are going to be spending a lot of one-on-one time together.”
I furrowed my brow in confusion, pulling back slightly so his hands dropped from my face and I could at least pretend to think rational thoughts. “So, what are you saying?”
A Whole New League (Briarwood High Book 2) Page 9