by Natalie Ann
After years of watching Celeste battle cancer, he had to leave. Once he knew she was healthy and he didn’t need to watch over her, it was time to do something for himself. It was time for his father to step back into the man-of-the-house role and let Cole be on his own.
Sure, it was hard and it hurt leaving everyone. Especially Celeste. But he had to. He had to do something for himself, for once. Put himself first. Always having to be responsible for everything and everyone in his father’s absence was wearing on him. It just seemed like it was his time in life.
He knew his dad would be proud of him for serving his country, so it was a way to earn his father’s respect and be his own man at the same time. To even breathe a bit of freedom.
“I guess it was time for me to go out on my own. I’ve never been one for traditional learning, you could say. College just didn’t seem to be in the picture for me. As for the Air Force, I’ve always loved to fly.”
“Did you travel a lot as a kid?”
“Not really. Just family vacations every few years. We had to fly for treatments for Celeste. Her bone marrow transplant and such. For me, being in the clouds was an escape.”
He’d never said that to another soul before and couldn’t believe he just confessed that now.
“I’d heard that. About you being Celeste’s donor. That’s a wonderful gift to give someone,” she’d said, her face growing all soft.
The restaurant lighting was dim and her face was shadowed in the soft light, but he didn’t miss the look in her eyes. Her brown eyes glowing, almost with pride. It filled him with warmth. It never happened when other people told him what a great thing it was to do, but it did with her and he was trying not to read more into it. Or wonder about it.
“There was never a choice. Never a hesitation. Her life and mine, we’re one. She’d do the same thing. I’d have done it for a stranger if they needed it. For me, there wasn’t much to do. It was an easy procedure, with minimal risk and great reward. I don’t think enough people realize that in life.”
“I do. I bet you have your donor card all filled out too, don’t you?” she asked, grinning at him.
“Yep. You do too, I’ll bet.”
“Of course. Like I said, there is no greater gift to someone than life, though I know many people don’t think that way. Or think about being a donor. Usually it comes down to them never having to live it, or need it. If they did, or knew someone who did, they’d think differently. Nothing more than that.”
Their salads came and were placed in front of them, giving them a needed break in the conversation. He didn’t mind talking about himself, but felt they might be getting too deep.
“So why did you leave the Air Force?” she asked before he could change the subject. “It seems to me it was everything you dreamed of, or at least hoped for. Not many people can live their dream.”
This was a question he’d have to answer carefully. Again, he wasn’t willing to go much deeper at the moment.
“I loved the Air Force, don’t get me wrong. As for it being everything I dreamed of…on some levels, sure. There is no dreaming of war, and I’ve been to war, so I can tell you that wasn’t a good part of the job. The best for me was flying. Flying anything I could get my hands on, and I did. I never was on the ground fighting, always in the air, but war is war, and fighting is fighting.”
“I’ve got to imagine that was hard. Even without being up close, you’re still engaging in crimes of humanity. Whether you’re defending your country or not, taking a human life, or watching one suffer or die is always difficult.”
She got it without him having to say much at all.
“That’s all true. I would have stayed, though. At least at that time I think I would have stayed, but my father was killed in the line of duty and I had to come home.”
He’d thought Big Bad Tom McGuire would outlive everyone. He was mean enough to, but no one thought a teenager high on drugs would panic and shoot his father in the back when he was unaware.
His father fought and held on as long as he could. Long enough for Cole to be contacted and get home, but not long enough to regain consciousness. Not long enough for Cole to speak to him again. Or to say he was sorry for the words they’d exchanged the year prior. To make amends.
With Tom gone, it all fell back on Cole’s shoulders. There was never a choice for him; his path was chosen once again.
“I did hear. I’m so sorry. I can’t imagine how difficult that had to have been on everyone. Not after how much your family had gone through already.”
He nodded. Again, no reason to confirm what she said. It was a horrible period of time in their lives. Celeste was devastated, his mother even more so, only in a different way.
“I finished my last tour after that and then came home. I was needed here. I took the State Trooper test and got in, did my basic training, and here we are.”
“Do you get to fly anymore?”
“I do. When I’m not cruising around locally, I’m part of search and rescue for the entire state. I fly one of the choppers. I’m called out when needed. I get my flying in that way right now. Plus, I’ve got my own small chopper,” he said proudly.
His grandmother had left her house to Celeste to turn into a B&B. Something that Celeste had always talked about wanting to do. When he got out of the service, he’d discovered that his grandmother had left him enough to purchase a small chopper with a note that read: “Let your dreams fly you where they may.”
He’d never told anyone he wanted his own aircraft, but his grandmother knew everything about him and Celeste. And though he gave Celeste a hard time about their “feelings” and “sixth sense”, it all came from their grandmother, he knew that. The woman, the midwife, who birthed him and Celeste way too early and saved them when doctors thought nothing was wrong.
“Wow. I don’t know anyone who has their own aircraft. Even Nick, and he’s a millionaire. He just flies like an average person does when he needs to.”
“There is a lot of upkeep to one, but I can handle most of that, too. It’s a good hobby to have.”
“And a unique one.”
They’d been eating their salads while they talked, and the waitress had just walked over to deliver their pizza. She took their dishes away and before Rene could ask him something else, he finally asked her, “So, it’s your turn. Tell me about your last few years.”
A Type
Rene paused when the waitress placed the pizza and some empty plates in front of her. She thought she was doing a good job with the conversation tonight. Better than she normally did with other people. Then again, all she was doing was asking questions, and that always came easy to her. Now she’d have to talk more, and that was where she stumbled most often.
She always felt she was too nerdy for most people, talking about subjects no one else had interest in. Honestly, she felt her life had been pretty boring to the average person, so why would anyone want to know more?
“Not much to say. I’ve been in college for a long time,” she said, letting out a shaky laugh.
“Celeste told me that you have multiple degrees.”
“I do. At least you know that, rather than thinking I’m an airhead that can’t graduate. Instead, you’re probably thinking I’m indecisive and did nothing but cause my parents to spend a lot of money on schooling.”
“You’re the last person I would describe as an airhead. I’m not sure indecisive is a good description, either. If I was to take a guess, I’d say you were gathering information to make an educated decision on your next path.”
She giggled. She never expected him to phrase it quite like that. “You’d be mostly right. Honestly though, I really couldn’t decide what I wanted to do. I mean, I knew what I liked and I enjoyed learning new things. But once I got those degrees, I didn’t enjoy any careers that went with them. I’m probably not making much sense.”
He put down the pizza he’d been eating while she talked and wiped his mouth, so she took the o
pportunity to eat a bit, too.
“I get it. Learning and applying are two completely different things.”
“Which is why everyone is so shocked over my final career choice. I’ve got to apply what I’ve learned, and no one ever thought I could.”
It was a hard pill to swallow that everyone thought she was always going to be this scholarly-type person. Sure, she enjoyed it, but not forever.
“What degrees do you have?”
“I’ve got a Literature degree, History, and even a degree in Fine Arts. All crazy degrees unless I want to either write, teach, work in a museum, or be a consultant.”
“What made you change fields so drastically then? It seems to me you have very few science-based classes with those degrees.”
“You’re right, I didn’t, but I always loved science. I’m not sure why I never considered it before. Maybe because I just loved reading, and sometimes you’re drawn to what you love. Like flying for you. You took that love for something and turned it into a career.”
“Yeah, you’re right. Still, if you loved science so much before, why not pursue it earlier? You never wanted to be a doctor? You’re smart enough for it.”
She felt the heat fill her face when he said she was smart. He probably meant it as a compliment, but not everyone did.
“Too much responsibility. I don’t do well under those circumstances, either. I guess it just took me a long time to find what really works for me. The best things in life take time. I really believe that.”
“Me too. Sometimes things don’t work out the way we think, but they’re good enough in the end.”
“You just have to decide if good enough is really good enough for you,” she said.
He looked at her strangely, then nodded his head and went back to eating.
She figured he was probably done having this type of a conversation with her. The type where she always said things to confuse someone. She really needed to guard her words more carefully.
It was hard, though. Hard to think and focus when he was sitting across from her right now. He had jeans and a cotton shirt on, the sleeves pushed up to his elbows. Nothing fancy, but rather comfortable and relaxing.
His hair was cropped short to his head like it always had been. She wondered if he liked it that way, or just found it easier to maintain, and then wondered why she was even thinking that. Her mind always went to odd places at the strangest times.
She had wanted this night to be an opportunity for them to talk and her to broach the subject of him helping her get out more. Helping her with meeting some men. Maybe see what men were looking for in a woman.
Unfortunately, so far all it did was remind her that it was him she was interested in. It was him she had a crush on years ago and still did. Now she was older and it meant more. Only she knew he wouldn’t feel the same way, or probably didn’t.
“You’re awfully quiet now. Did I say something that offended you?” he asked.
“No, just letting you eat your dinner in peace. I realize we’ve been chatting and not eating, which is rude.”
He laughed. “It’s not rude. It’s part of going out on a date with someone.”
Her head popped up, her eyes went wide, and she opened her mouth and then shut it. He continued to stare at her, almost willing her to say something. She took a chance and did. “This is a thank you dinner.”
“Is that really what it is? Is that what you want it to be?”
“It’s what you want, right? I mean, let’s be honest, I’m not your type,” she said. Might as well lay it all out there.
“You’re not. Probably no more than I’m your type.”
It hurt to hear him confirm that, but she gave him credit for honesty. “I don’t really have a type.”
“We all have a type,” he said. “We all have things that attract us.”
“Being attracted to someone isn’t enough in life. There are evil people in this world who are attractive by sight, but that doesn’t mean I want to be anywhere near them.”
He snickered a bit, picked his beer up, and said, “You’re right again. I’ll amend that. If we’re going by attraction, that’s you. I’m attracted to you, even though you aren’t the normal type I date.” He held his hand up to stop her interruption. “Most of the women I date are taller and more active, you could say. They don’t have serious jobs or occupations, and they want to just go out and have fun with no strings attached.”
“I’m boring and klutzy, I know,” she said, frowning.
“Yeah, you’re klutzy. You always were, but it’s endearing. Maybe I can help you with that. Maybe you’re that way because you’ve never tried to be anything else. No, you aren’t boring in the least. I’ve never found you boring. That would be part of the attraction. It’s not just your physical appearance, but also your mind. I can honestly say I’ve never found a woman’s mind attractive before, but now I do.”
“I’m not really sure how to take that. I think it’s meant as a compliment, so I’ll take it as such.”
“Yes, it’s a compliment. Rene. I’ve just told you you’re attractive in appearance and intelligence, and yet you aren’t sure if it’s a compliment.”
“You also said I was klutzy.”
He winked at her. “That was a fact.”
She wasn’t used to a man teasing her. Not in a playful way. Not in an encouraging way. This wasn’t at all what she expected when she asked him to dinner yesterday.
“So how are you going to help me?”
“I don’t know. I guess we both have likes the other doesn’t. Why not teach each other? Listen, this is new for me too. I’m used to picking someone up at a bar, taking her home, going on a few dates with her, having fun, but nothing serious.”
Her face flushed completely. She’d already figured that out about him, but didn’t expect him to be so blunt. “That’s not me,” she said.
No matter how much she might have always wanted to be that type of woman—at least once in her life—she could never go through with it.
“I know it’s not. So I’m out of my element here. I’m just telling you so you know. If I say or do something to offend you, I want you to tell me.”
Made sense. “The same goes for me, then. If I start boring you, or talking about things you don’t understand or could care less about, please tell me.”
“Why do you think you’ll do that?”
“Because I’ve been told those things before.”
“Fine. Deal. We’ll do it that way. You tell me if I insult you or make you uncomfortable, and I’ll tell you if you bore me or I have no clue what you’re talking about.”
She shook her head. This whole conversation was confusing her, but she was afraid to admit that. “Why are we doing this?”
“Beats me. Something different to try. What do you say? Take a chance with me?”
She pondered what he said, thought of her life the last twenty-nine years, remembered everything her grandmother had been lecturing her about for the last month and said, “Let’s take one together.”
It Was Nice
The next day, Rene was setting the table as her grandmother placed the last plate of food down for dinner. “So how was your date with Cole yesterday? You got home pretty early.”
There was no getting out of this. She’d tried to rush out of the house before her grandmother could see her, but it didn’t matter. Nothing got by her. “It was good. How did you know it was Cole?”
“I didn’t,” she said, smirking. “I took a guess. You’re so easy, Rene. Even Nick made me work harder. Kids nowadays don’t ask enough questions, just give over all the information.”
Dang it, she didn’t think her grandmother would be that sneaky. “It was nice. I sort of asked to take him for a thank you dinner the other night. It seems every time I turn around, he’s been there to help me out.”
“So it was just a dinner with a friend then?” her grandmother asked, sitting at the table.
“I thought it was, but
by the time we were done, it was more of a date.”
She wasn’t going to tell her grandmother the details. Not that when the check came and she reached for it, he playfully slapped her hand away and said, “No. It’s a date, I’m paying.”
“It was supposed to be a thank you dinner from me,” she argued with him.
“Then you can make me dinner one night as a thank you, but if we’re going out somewhere together, then I’m paying.”
She didn’t know what to say to that and didn’t want to argue. She had a feeling she wasn’t going to win anyway. She’d bet not too many people won anything against Cole.
But it wasn’t just that that confirmed it being a date in her mind. It was when he brought her home, when they sat in his truck for a few minutes in awkward silence.
She wasn’t sure what to do, and was just going to get out of the truck fast, but he grabbed her hand loosely and held it, keeping her in the truck.
The heat and strength of him and his touch just radiated up her arm and kept her sitting there, staring at him.
He let out a soft laugh and then reached his other hand forward and pulled her closer to him by the nape of her neck. He was going to kiss her, she knew—she felt it and, darn it all, she wanted it.
Cole McGuire was going to kiss her. It was happening. It wasn’t a childhood dream she was having, nor was it the adult fantasy she’d had last week. This was real. This was present time.
His lips touched hers softly, gently, feeling his way. She’d kind of hoped for a grab and a yank forward, forcing her to cling to him, but this was just as good. Actually better. Yanking could come another time. Oh boy, where did that thought come from?
This was nice, it was slow and the buildup was so much better when he finally nudged her mouth open with his and swooped in to taste her.
She’d kissed plenty of men before, but never like this. Never this long and this thorough, and holy cow, they were making out in his truck. Part of her was giddy; the other part just wanted the night to go on forever.
Could you get an orgasm from kissing? She wasn’t sure, but she thought it might have been close with the way he was going at it with her.