by Natalie Ann
“He’s good. He’s napping on the couch right now. He didn’t get much sleep.”
“Is he in a lot of pain?” Ginger asked, moving forward and sitting in one of the chairs on the porch, wringing her hands now. Celeste had settled down on the front step, then looked over at her mother and shook her head.
“Not too much. He just couldn’t get comfortable lying down. He’s propped up on the couch now. He’ll be able to nap if he needs to since he’s out of work until the stitches come out, at the very least.”
“How did he feel about that?” Celeste asked, smirking.
“Grouchy,” Rene said.
Actually, the only thing that took away Cole’s grouchiness was Rene agreeing to stay with him for the week. When he started saying that she could help him if he had any issues or needed medical assistance, that she’d be his best bet, she relented. She knew she had been played, but didn’t hold it against him. It felt good being needed.
“He won’t sit still for long,” Ginger said. “He’s never been able to. But you need to watch him. He could still show signs of a concussion. Those are dangerous.”
“Mom,” Celeste said. “Rene knows what she is doing. Cole didn’t have a concussion, so stop worrying.”
“Aside from a bit of grouchiness and little sleep, Cole is pretty much his normal self,” Rene said. It was just a few stitches. What was the big deal? She’d seen plenty of scars on Cole’s body; it wasn’t the first time he’d been hurt.
“How do you feel, Rene?” Ginger asked.
Rene paused, wondering where this question was coming from. There was no way Ginger could know she was pregnant. Not unless Cole told her, and he swore he wouldn’t tell anyone until after Celeste’s wedding.
“I’m fine. Why?”
“Cole’s job is hard on relationships. I know. I’ve been there. It’s tiring, always wondering when or if your spouse will come home or if he’ll be hurt. I told Cole not to follow in his father’s footsteps, but he didn’t listen. Never listened to either of us.”
“That’s cold, Mom,” Celeste said. “Cole isn’t Dad, and Rene is not you.”
“I’m fine with Cole’s job,” Rene said quickly. “It doesn’t bother me what he does. Actually, I’m kind of proud of it. I mean he works hard and deserves respect for the time he puts into his job.”
“You weren’t scared when you got the call?” Ginger asked. “As if it’s not bad enough the number of hours he works; you don’t get nervous when he goes to work each day, wondering if he’ll come home in one piece or not? I worry all the time. I worried my whole marriage and now I’ve got to worry about my son.”
Ginger’s eyes were starting to fill and Rene wasn’t sure what to say. The only thing she knew was she was going to stand up for Cole.
“You love to worry, Mom, so stop laying it on Cole this time.”
“Cole is good at what he does and he enjoys it. Everyone should enjoy their careers. We both work a lot of hours. Cole could have gotten a gash on his head slipping in the bathtub, or falling out of a chair at a desk. It’s no different than any of us getting stitches for something simple like that.”
“It’s not the same,” Ginger started to argue.
“Mom,” Celeste said. “This isn’t the time or the place to bring up the old grudge that you’ve got. It doesn’t bother Rene. I repeat, she’s not you.”
“That’s right, Mom,” Cole said from the screen door. “Don’t be putting ideas in Rene’s head. She and I talk about things, unlike you and Dad. She’d tell me if she had an issue with it, and she doesn’t. She clearly told you that.”
Cole turned and walked back into the house. Celeste stood up, the same as Rene and Ginger. “I told you to drop it, Mom,” Celeste said. “I told you on the way over not to bring it up. Guess you don’t listen either. Maybe Cole got that from you.”
“I’m sorry,” Ginger said, turning to Rene. “It’s just that I don’t want to see you go through what I did. It’s not fair to any woman.”
“Yet so many women marry men in law enforcement,” Rene said, wondering where she found the courage to say that to Cole’s mother. But darn it all, this was just the most ridiculous conversation in her eyes.
Ginger walked forward into the house, but Celeste stayed back. “I apologize for my mother. She’s upset and this is bringing up my father’s death. It was a hard time in our lives, but she has no reason to say what she did to you.”
“It’s hard. I know it is,” Rene said.
Celeste reached her hand forward and clasped Rene’s. “Cole’s right: you two have a much different relationship. This isn’t easy on Cole, either. He didn’t have the easiest of lives when we were kids. Not emotionally. And he’d be mad if he knew I just said that to you, so please keep it between us. My father wasn’t the easiest man to live with, as you can tell by my mother’s words.”
“Not your opinion though?” Rene asked. She’d heard how close Celeste and Tom McGuire were.
“Just because my father and I had a different relationship doesn’t mean I was blind to the one he had with my mother or my brother. For as many good qualities that my father had, he had just as many faults. Cole works hard to not have those same faults.”
***
After his mother and sister left, Cole dropped back on the couch. “Come here and sit by me.”
“Does your head hurt?” Rene asked.
“A little, but nothing that a hug won’t help.”
She cracked a grin. “I’ll get you some aspirin, too,” she said, standing up.
He let her go. He could use something, but he knew that wouldn’t get rid of the ache inside of him.
He’d always known how his mother felt about his father’s job. He knew she held a grudge against his father for dying, too. As if there was anything Tom could have done to prevent being shot in the back.
Sure, his father was a hard-ass most of the time, but he was honorable and took his job seriously. He would have never wanted to leave his wife and children. That had always been his biggest fear. That was why he was so hard on Cole to step up.
Though Cole knew all those things, it didn’t make it any easier to hear his mother say what she did to Rene.
The last thing he wanted was his mother filling Rene’s head with ideas and fears. He could barely get Rene to stay a few nights with him, and he’d promised to stop pressuring her to move in, but now his mother could have just made it worse for him.
“Here you go,” Rene said, handing him a bottle of water and two pills.
He tossed them back. “Thanks. Now come sit with me. I need a hug after that visit.”
She giggled, and somehow that sound took away a great deal of his pain.
“Do you feel like my mother?”
“About what?” she asked.
“My job. I hate to ask but need to know.”
He knew this fear was part of the reason he’d never gotten seriously involved with anyone. His mother had managed to put ideas in his head, too, no matter how hard he tried to avoid it.
That was why he didn’t want Rene at the ER yesterday with him. He wanted to be able to tell her he was fine after the fact.
“Do I worry when you go to work? Sure. I thought I told you that much already. That doesn’t mean I don’t want you to do your job. I know how much it means to you. I know how much you love it.”
“But you stress over it?”
“A little. Do you stress about me at work? I mean, I was in the ER with a criminal.”
He’d forgotten about that. “I do stress but not like you mean. I just don’t want you to overwork yourself.”
“I don’t. It’s part of the job. A job I love. Just like you love yours. I wouldn’t ask you to give up your career any more than I’d expect you to ask me to give up mine.”
He hated when she did that. When she put him on the spot and made everything so reasonable. It meant he couldn’t say anything about her working too much or too hard while being pregnant, either.
“Yo
u were pretty calm in the ER yesterday,” he said. “For someone who says they don’t do well on their feet.”
He shouldn’t have been surprised, and deep down he was actually thrilled. She’d been shocked when she came in, but once she saw what was going on, she’d calmed right down, held his hand, and joked with him. She even promised she’d stay on the road and not give him a matching head wound when she drove him home.
His mother was never that understanding when he or his father got hurt. She always panicked and overreacted. He’d guessed she used up all her calm caring for Celeste, that she had nothing else left to give for his father or him if they got hurt or she was worried.
“Thinking fast on my feet has nothing to do with remaining calm. You just had a scratch. I’ve seen worse,” she said, smiling.
“You’re good for me,” he said.
“Because I’m not babying you like your mom just wanted to do?”
“That too. Don’t get me wrong, I’m thrilled they wanted to bring me food.”
“I am too. I’m starving and now I don’t have to cook tonight. Celeste is an angel,” Rene said, laying her head against his chest. He loved when she did that.
“I should have told her to bring over double with the way you put food away lately.”
She pinched his arm lightly. “Stop. I’m not that bad.”
“If you say so,” he said. He pulled her closer to his side, then slid down on the couch. “Just lie here with me right now.”
“Are you okay?” she asked.
“Yeah. I am now that you’re with me.”
It was probably the closest he’d ever come to letting his guard down around a woman before and, surprisingly, he wasn’t terrified over the confession.
Different
“Are you ready for this?” Celeste asked him.
“That should be my question to you.”
Cole looked over at his sister standing in front of the full-length mirror in her bedroom, in the new massive home Caleb had built for them.
She was stunning in her white fitted wedding gown. He was trying his damnedest not to tear up staring at her as she twisted and turned, admiring her elegance. She looked like a modern-day princess to him.
“I’ve been waiting for this for years,” she said, giggling, then holding her hand out to him.
He walked the few steps closer, stopped in front of her, and waited while she reached up and started to adjust his tie. It felt like a noose around his neck, but he’d suffer through anything for her. There was a time he never thought he’d see this day.
When she was done, she put her arms around his waist and turned him so they were both looking in the mirror, their bright blue eyes reflecting the emotion they were both feeling.
“Don’t we look like the most gorgeous set of twins you’ve ever seen?” Celeste asked.
“Just twins? How about siblings in general,” he said back, his eyes shifting over her light makeup. She didn’t need anything to enhance her beauty. For her, it wasn’t just on the outside, she was more radiant on the inside.
“I can get in line with that,” she said, turning once more and giving him a hug.
He waited for a minute, then leaned back and said, “I’m sorry I’m the one doing this today.”
Celeste had always been Daddy’s little girl, and he knew she’d struggle with this day.
“Never be sorry, Cole. You’re a good fill-in today. He’s here watching over me, I know. I got up early and went to talk to him this morning.”
Celeste often visited their father in the cemetery. Cole never did, and neither did his mother as far as he knew. Only Celeste had been able to go back after they’d lowered his father into the ground, then handed the folded flag to Celeste. He’d had a hard enough time trying to hold his mother up in her grief that day.
“You’re at peace then?” he asked, but knew the answer. He could see it in her eyes.
“I am. Are you?” she asked him.
“Of course. I can’t wait for Caleb to be able to take over the duty of watching out for you.”
She poked him in the side with her finger. “You’ll never stop, you know it. Though I do appreciate that you’ve backed off significantly in the last several months.”
“I didn’t have much of a choice, did I?”
Actually, he did have a choice. He backed off because it was the right thing to do and because Caleb was a class act that not only earned Cole’s trust, but his respect. Not that he’d ever voice that to anyone.
“We all have choices in life, Cole.”
She moved away and picked up her lip gloss, then slid the wand over her lips quickly. He stepped back to one of the chairs and sat down for the moment. It seemed to him Celeste wanted to talk.
“We do.”
“You aren’t him,” Celeste said.
She didn’t need to explain further. “Thankfully.”
“Do you miss him?” she asked.
“I do. Not like you. Different, for sure, but it’s still there, deep in my soul somewhere.” She was the only one he’d ever said that to. The only one he felt he could.
“It’s a different kind of grief. I get that.”
“Does it bother you that Mom and I don’t visit like you?” He’d never brought this up before and wasn’t sure why he did now.
“No. She has her reasons, the same as you.”
“Different reasons, I’m sure.”
“Mom will never forgive Dad for dying. You and I both know it wasn’t as if he planned it,” she said smiling. “I don’t know how long she can carry that grudge.”
“It’s not just that. Not all of it.”
“I know. She had big issues with the time Dad spent away. A lot of resentment she can’t let go of. She was wrong to put those opinions on you and your relationship with Rene.” She stood up and walked over, standing in front of him. “She and I argued a few weeks ago about it.”
It wouldn’t be the first time Celeste came to his defense. “I can fight my own battles.”
“You can and you do, but that doesn’t mean it’s right, and it doesn’t mean I’ll sit back and let it happen again and again. She has to let it go. It’s time to move on.”
“Is this really what you want to talk about on your wedding day?” he asked, lifting an eyebrow.
“Would you rather I talk about all the kinky things I want to do on my honeymoon?”
He winced. She always did that to him. “No! You are so warped.”
She giggled and held her hand out again, then pulled him up and hugged him tight. “I am that. Caleb loves every minute of it, too.”
“Too much information, Celeste.”
Pushing back, she looked up at his eyes and said, “You’ll be next.”
“Next what?” he asked, but he knew what she was going to say.
“To stand at the altar. Then someday maybe our children can play together.”
There was no way she could know Rene was pregnant. None at all. “Why would you say that?”
She laughed hard. “To see if you’d deny it, which you didn’t, so that means it’s going to happen someday.”
There was no use lying. “Someday.”
***
“That was such a beautiful ceremony. Celeste looked like a million bucks.”
Cole looked over at Rene as they walked into his front door and she handed over his keys. “She did. I’m her twin, so don’t I get a compliment too?”
He’d had more to drink than she’d seen before, but he wasn’t drunk. Just enough to be loose and not want to drive. “There wasn’t a man there that was as handsome as you.”
She placed her hands on his chest, then started to run them up and down, feeling his muscles flex and twitch under her touch.
“You looked pretty stunning yourself today,” he said, lowering his head and kissing her neck.
“Not as good as Celeste, but then again, every bride should demand the attention on their day.”
“You got plenty of at
tention today whether you want to believe it or not.”
She knew that. She knew there were a lot of eyes on her and Cole all day. Watching things and waiting to see how they were interacting. She’d also heard a few whispered words on when their time would come, but she pretended ignorance.
She wondered if that was why Cole drank more than normal today. Not that she’d ask him that, because she wasn’t sure she wanted to know the answer.
“I did look pretty nice in my dress for someone who is a little over three months pregnant.”
“No one could tell. Only I know the one thing that’s changed,” he said, bringing his hands up and cupping her breasts.
She’d only put a few pounds on and she was positive they were in her breasts. Still, she took care to find a dress that was fitted enough that no one would think she was hiding anything, but just in case she had that covered, too.
“Then our secret is still safe,” she said, loosening his tie and taking it off his neck.
“Until next week,” he said.
She didn’t want to be reminded, but they did agree they would tell everyone when Celeste returned from her honeymoon.
“That’s next week. This is right now. Right now I want to show my baby daddy what I’ve got on under this dress.”
He laughed, hugged her tight, then picked her up and carried her to the stairs. “Baby daddy, huh? I’m not sure if I should be insulted or not.”
Since he was smiling, she assumed he wasn’t. “You can’t be insulted over something that is a fact.”
“Very true,” he said, though there was something underlying in his eyes right now.
She doubted it was anything like she’d been thinking all day. Thoughts on how she’d look in a wedding dress, or how Cole would look standing next to her at the altar.
Sure, they could be there right now, all she had to do was say the word, but she wanted more than that. She wanted Cole to look at her the same way Caleb did Celeste. She wanted to know he was marrying her because he loved her, and not just because she was carrying their child.
She wanted to know she was saying yes for the all the right reasons. In the back of her mind, she was pretty sure she would be at that point. Now the only problem was, waiting until she knew how he felt.