Hailey's Bali Diary

by Hailey McPherson

  So Liam might be able to talk me into watching porn with him while we’re on vacation, but he’s not going to ever talk me into doing it myself. I don’t want to sound mean, but he’s not exactly packing what guys in porn have anyway.

  The porn we saw that night was about a 30 year old who’s still in college. She must not be very smart because she’s failing all of her classes. She’s upset by this because she’s an honors student. I don’t know why an honors student would fail all of her classes. There wasn’t a lot of exposition in this film.

  The only way she can get her grades up is to have sex with all of her professors — mostly in the classrooms and their offices. I guess there’s no tutoring service at that school. She also has a lesbian threesome with her female professor and her roommate. They never said if her roommate had bad grades or not. Maybe she just did it for extra credit. One of the male professors also has sex with another student, which just made me see him as a predator.

  It was all pretty silly. I don’t know why they had to make it at a school. All of the actors were the same age, whether they were supposed to be students or professors. The girls playing students weren’t believable as college students and the guys playing professors were just ridiculous. It was like that M. Night Shyamalan movie where Marky Mark plays a science teacher — only worse. You’d want your money back if you went to that school. Since it’s all just an excuse for everybody to get naked and have sex why not just film a bunch of people having sex? Why do they have to have bad story lines?

  Liam liked it. Not because of the bad story and worse acting. He liked the girls with huge jugs getting naked at the drop of a hat and having sex with any guy with a huge tool who gave them the time of day.

  That’s another thing I don’t understand about guys and porn. They want to watch other guys with much bigger equipment. It doesn’t make them jealous at all. They actually prefer the men in porn to be bigger than they are. It’s not a gay thing. They just don’t want to see guys with small dicks doing these plastic girls. I’m not sure what difference it makes. I understand why they want all the girls to have implants — the bigger the better to guys — but why do they want to see these steroid guys who make them look tiny by comparison?

  Liam got hard pretty much as soon as the movie started. He whipped it out because that’s what he likes to do when he watches porn. It was pretty obvious that the men in the movie were a lot bigger than he is, but he didn’t mind. He was proud of his porn erection. He’s always proud of all his erections.

  I knew watching porn was going to make him horny and that we were going to have sex sooner or later. I didn’t know he’d want to imitate what we saw on the DVD. When they did a blowjob scene he wanted me to give him a blowjob. When they did it doggy style he wanted to do it doggy style. It was like we were watching an exercise video and following along.

  It all started when the main student was going down on some random guy. I think her name was Champagne or Bambi or some name you don’t normally see in the Ivy League. She could deepthroat him effortlessly even though his cock was bigger than my arm. I don’t think these women are real actresses, but I never said they weren’t talented.

  Liam wanted me to do that. He was proudly displaying his cock at attention just waiting for me to ram it down my throat. I wanted to point out that I’ve only done that to him once in all the time we’ve known each other and this porn star has probably done it a million times with as many guys. I didn’t want him to think he was going to get that every single time, but I didn’t want to interrupt his porn star fantasy either. This was our last real night on vacation and I was willing to play along. I’m all for fantasies as long as they don’t take over your real life.

  I played with his cock without really putting it in my mouth. I licked and kissed the head while stroking it, but I was careful not to be nearly as energetic as Candy — or whatever her name was. I think Liam knew that if I did to him what she was doing to Professor Boner, he’d blow his load right away.

  When the professor went down on his student on her desk, Liam pulled my skirt up and took off my panties. He tried to go down on me, but he couldn’t find a way to do that and watch the DVD at the same time. I’m sure he liked it better when he was sitting back on the sofa and I was blowing him.

  The professor bent the student over her desk and did her from behind. Liam wanted to do that, but we didn’t have a desk. There was a coffee table and a lamp table, but they were both too low to the ground.

  “Just stand next to the sofa and bend over the armrest,” he instructed.

  “The condoms are in the bedroom,” I pointed out.

  “They’re not using condoms,” he said, referring to the people on the DVD. He wanted to be as authentic as possible.

  “If you can pretend we’re in this porn movie then you can pretend we’re not using condoms,” I said.

  “You’re breaking character,” he complained.

  “Your character’s not going to get any without a condom,” I told him.

  He rushed to the bedroom and rushed back into the living room with a handful of condoms. I laughed when I saw his erection flopping up and down.

  “That part’s not in the movie,” I laughed.

  I wasn’t sure how he thought he was going to use all those condoms.

  He put on a condom and entered me from behind, trying to do it like the guy on the DVD, complete with strange angles that they use so the camera can see everything.

  After he got in a few thrusts they were on to a different scene. Liam didn’t want to pause the movie or go back. He wanted it all to be live. I knew this was going to be an interesting night.

  We got naked and went back and forth doing all the positions they did, never taking the time to enjoy any of them. It was pretty much the same thing over and over again. The woman blew the guy, the guy ate the woman, they did three positions and then he came on her face or boobs. Liam wanted to do it all except for the multiple ejaculations. He wanted to save that for last, for obvious reasons.

  The lesbian scene was the biggest challenge for Liam. He wasn’t quite sure how to handle that one. They used dildos and a strap-on. We didn’t have those. They also had three girls and we only had just me. He spent most of the lesbian scene trying to eat me out while watching the TV and fingering me. He wanted to put various objects around the living room inside me as if they were dildos, but all I had to do was give him a look and he abandoned that idea. I’m all for pretend, but the candlestick stayed on the bookcase.

  Liam thinks the greatest thing in the world would be if we had a threesome with another girl.

  “I’m even willing to just watch while you and another girl go at it by yourselves,” he’s told me.

  “I don’t know any girls I’d want to have sex with,” I told him.

  “I’m sure we can find someone,” he offered.

  “I know even fewer girls who’d want to have sex with both of us,” I once said.

  He’s suggested Livia, but I never had the heart to tell him that she’s not interested in him, dolphin dreams notwithstanding. I’m not stupid enough to tell him that her boyfriend is hung like a horse.

  There was a scene on the DVD with two girls blowing a guy.

  “That’s what I want for my birthday,” Liam told me.

  “Your birthday is eight months away,” I reminded him.

  “Then you’ve got plenty of time to make it happen,” he said.

  “You’ll forget all about it by then,” I suggested.

  “That’s where you’re wrong,” he told me.

  He seemed pretty sure he wouldn’t forget. I almost told him he could have two girls blowing him if I could have two guys eating me, but I was afraid he’d go for it. I don’t know how two guys can go down on you at the same time anyway, but I could be willing to figure it out.

  When there was an anal scene I told Liam I was tired and needed a break. It’s one thing to do all of these positions over the course of a week, but everything
in about an hour is just too much. He was pretty close to popping his cork, so he was also ready for a break.

  We sat naked on the sofa and watched the honors student get a double penetration from two of her professors. I don’t think either of them taught statistics or geometry.

  “If we did have a threesome, it should be with another guy,” I suggested.

  That’s not his favorite way to do it.

  “You, me and some big stud,” I teased him.

  “It’s better with two girls because then you don’t have to work as much and can get some help,” he said.

  “No, I think two guys are better because I’ll get enough attention and you won’t have to worry about coming too soon,” I told him.

  We had a little debate that neither of us took seriously about which type of threesome is better while the DVD professors took turns switching from pussy to ass — all without any condoms.

  They didn’t even wipe off their cocks. I thought that wasn’t very sanitary. Then after each guy was in each hole, she took both cocks into her mouth one at a time. Someone needs to give this girl a hygiene lesson. Surely there would be health classes at a school where everyone fucks each other.

  I decided I wasn’t really giving Liam the fantasy he wanted, so during the next one on one scene I acted like I was a student. I said things like I forgot to do my homework and I really need to do better on the next test.

  “There is a way you can get better grades,” he said and put his cock up to my face.

  “How much better?” I asked, looking at his cock like it was a Brussels sprout.

  “That all depends on how well you do,” he told me.

  When I took his cock in my mouth, he said, “You’re up to a D.”

  I started sucking on it and he said, “C. C plus, at least.”

  I took it out of my mouth and licked his balls while stroking his cock.

  “B,” he said.

  I licked from the bottom of his balls straight up to the tip of his cock.

  “B plus,” he moaned. “Definitely.”

  He pulled his cock away.

  “There’s only one way you can get an A,” he told me.

  “Should I hit the books?” I asked.

  “You should hit the sheets,” he answered.

  I got on the sofa and opened my legs wide like a porn star.

  “Explode, ignite,” I cheered. “Defense, let’s fight.”

  “You already passed the oral test,” he said while putting on another condom. “Now you need some intense study.”

  We pretty much ran out of school double entendres at this point and he got on top of me. I grabbed his cock and helped him put it in me.

  “You’re my favorite teacher,” I whispered in his ear while he was pounding away.

  “A plus,” he moaned during thrusts and pulled out.

  He quickly yanked off the condom and stood up next to the sofa so that his cock was right over my head. He jerked it for a second and shot his load all over my face.

  He came more than usual since his cock was hard for so long.

  “The facial was extra credit,” he told me when he finished.

  I squeezed the last few drops out of his cock and asked him to get me a towel. There was so much Liam juice on my face I couldn’t even open my eyes.

  After I cleaned up, Liam came into the bathroom just as I was about to brush my teeth.

  “You should wait,” he said. “I have an idea.”

  “Uh oh,” I responded.

  “I want to pee in your mouth,” he told me.

  I was speechless. There was no way in hell that was ever going to happen. I couldn’t even understand why he’d want to do that. They didn’t do anything like that on the DVD at all.

  He likes a lot of things I don’t understand, but I try to be open minded. Sometimes things I don’t think I’ll like, I end up liking after I try them, but peeing in my mouth is never going to be one of those things.

  “I have zero interest in drinking your pee,” I told him. “Absolutely, unequivocally none.”

  “You can just spit it out,” he suggested.

  He didn’t care what I did with it. He just wanted to pee in my mouth.

  “You don’t have a problem with my jizz in your mouth,” he said. “So since it comes from the same place, you shouldn’t have a problem with this.”

  He was trying to use logic on me and failing.

  My logic was better.

  “It’s not the same at all,” I told him. “It doesn’t come from the same place. It only comes out of the same container. Urine is waste, semen isn’t.”

  When he ejaculates semen it’s usually about a spoonful — easy enough to swallow or spit out. When he urinates it’s like a hose.

  His orgasms are exciting to watch. I like watching his sperm fly out of him. It’s a major turn on. Watching him pee does absolutely nothing for me. It’s not the least bit exciting.

  I can release urine from my body, too. Big deal. Everyone can do it. Also — and this is pretty important — his spunk doesn’t smell like piss. Semen doesn’t taste bad at all. I assume urine tastes terrible.

  “It’s just not going to happen,” I said.

  “I could put on a condom,” he suggested.

  His idea was to pee in the condom while his dick was in my mouth.

  “It’s the ideal compromise since I get what I want and you won’t get anything in your mouth.”

  “That’s crazy,” I said. “You should put on a condom and pee. See how much of it falls out.”

  He thought the condom would be able to hold it all, so he tried it.

  He put on a condom and started to pee. It immediately fell off. He wasn’t hard, so he decided the condom was too loose. He put it back on and held it in place while he peed.

  “All I have to do is hold it and everything will be alright,” he said.

  It didn’t take long before the condom couldn’t take any more and his urine started bursting out from the top. The condom never broke and could easily balloon up to hold more fluid, but he couldn’t keep a tight seal on it and his pee sprayed out all over the place.

  I knew I was right, but even if that didn’t happen he wasn’t going to pee in my mouth.

  “You can have whatever fantasy you want,” I told him. “But that one is never coming true.”

  We did a lot of things we’d never done before on this trip, but we’re never going to do that.

  I was almost mad at him for ending the day like this. Everything was fine until this stupid idea. I don’t want to rain on his fantasies — and I think I was very open minded about pretending to be in a porno movie — but he can’t expect me to just go along with every insane thing he can think of.

  I know he’s less experienced than I am and he’s living away from home and trying to make up for lost time. I understand all of that and I want to be there for him and with him. I want to experience new things with him and I want us to have wild passionate sex, but there has to be a line somewhere.

  Drinking his pee is absolutely 100% over the line.

  We didn’t go to bed angry, but we went to bed uncomfortably. I didn’t like it at all and I wanted him to feel bad for making me feel bad — and it made me feel even worse that I wanted him to feel bad.

  Just as I was drifting off to sleep, it stopped raining. For some reason, that made me have to pee.

  DAY 6

  GOING HOME

  Liam didn’t get his morning blowjob on this day. Our flight was scheduled to leave at 6 pm, which meant we had to be at the airport no later than 3 o’clock. That meant we had to leave the villa by 2. We didn’t pack at all the night before and I wanted to tidy the villa before we checked out.

  People always think it’s funny that I try to make sure hotel rooms are clean when I leave. They say the housekeeping people are just going to clean it anyway. That’s true, but I just think it’s rude to leave a mess for someone else to clean up. I know it’s their job, but I don’t see why
I should make their job harder. It’s probably not a very fun job cleaning up after people all day, so why not do what I can to make it a little easier.

  The villa was a lot bigger than most hotel rooms. There were rooms indoors, spaces outdoors and a bathroom that was a little of both. There was also a swimming pool, but there wasn’t much I could do about cleaning that. I had to leave that one to the professionals.

  They always cleaned the kitchen after they made our breakfast, so I didn’t have to worry about that. I like to keep my kitchen clean anyway and that’s one room Liam almost never spends any time in.

  The living room was a shambles after our home movies from the night before. There were used condoms in the weirdest places and dried up semen on the sofa. It looked like we had a frat party in there.

  I didn’t have any soda water or hairspray to get out the semen stain, so I did what I could to cover it up. I felt bad about that since someone had to deal with it later, but there wasn’t anything I could do. It’s not like I could just go to Ikea and pick up a new cushion.

  The bathroom wasn’t too bad. Liam’s usually a slob in the bathroom, but I cleaned up after him as much as I could and the housekeeping people came in every day — except our villa day. Since the shower was outdoors and it rained the entire day before, it practically cleaned itself.

  The area around the pool just needed a little straightening and the bedroom would be mostly clean once we were packed. We never did much damage to that room.

  Once everything was more or less cleaned I stripped naked and went for one last swim in that marvelous little pool. I completely lost track of the time and I was underwater when the people came to make our last breakfast. I didn’t hear them knock on the front door and I didn’t hear when Liam let them in.

  I popped my head out of the water to breathe and was pretty surprised to see the cook and his assistant in the kitchen making our breakfast. I didn’t know if they could tell I was totally naked in the water, but I suddenly became very aware of it. I swam to the side of the pool closest to the kitchen and hugged my body against the wall.

  “Are you coming out of the water?” Liam asked me. “Breakfast is almost ready.”