“I’m sorry, Tia. So sorry, you’ll never know.”
She pulled back to look at me. “We don’t blame you.”
“You should. It’s my fault.”
“No.” She dabbed at her eyes with a cloth she held in her hands. “I think you sometimes like to take on the world’s problems as your own. You were both sent on an impossible mission. It’s a miracle you’re back at all.”
“It doesn’t feel that way right now.”
She sat down on the edge of her bed. “I can imagine. It feels pretty bad from where I am, too.”
I moved to sit next to her. “Are you…?”
I couldn’t say the word. It was still too weird for me to deal with at all.
“I don’t know for sure but I think am. I haven’t told Mom and Dad yet. I think they have enough to deal with. Of course, no one is making me even try to fight anymore so maybe they know.”
Tia was going to be a mother. At sixteen years old. Her baby would be more like her sibling.
I tried to process this. “Are you going to get married?”
Her eyes lit up like she hadn’t just lost her brother. “We are as soon as possible.”
“That’s great news.” I almost choked on my words. I still disliked Glen immensely, and he was going to be Tia’s husband. Well, if Patrick didn’t kill him. “Congratulations, sweetheart.”
“Thank you.” Her face fell. “Chad can’t be left out there like that.”
I stood up. “I know.”
“You’ll take care of it?”
Tia hadn’t changed, not at all. She continued to be the sweet, remarkable girl who expected other people to handle things for her. The weird thing? I was happy to do it. I wouldn’t want Tia anywhere near this mess.
Like lightening going off in the darkness of my mind, I suddenly felt illuminated. I stood up fast.
Tia shook her head. “What?”
Deacon had said I would need to find a purpose to move on. I would need to figure out what was going to drive me forward so I could live with everything that happened.
I knew what it was. Goosebumps assaulted my skin and for once, it didn’t have to do with the presence of any monsters. No, it was because I had clarity.
“Tia, I know this is a terrible time. The worst possible. But could you get Micah for me? Could you see if he’s awake?”
She rose. “Okay.”
That was the nice thing about having people around who knew you so well you didn’t have to explain things more than once. I’d asked Tia to get Micah, so she had.
Moments later, a disheveled, half-asleep Micah stumbled behind Tia into her room. There had been a time when I’d loved him. Or thought I had. It had been a safe, harmless crush that had allowed me to get through a time in my life when it had felt like I couldn’t win for losing.
I still felt that way, but now I knew I could handle it myself. I didn’t need to focus all my affection on a person who didn’t return it just to feel alive.
Micah was my friend. He was Chad’s brother. And he was the best chance for my newly forming plan to take place.
“What’s up, Clancy?”
“Come with me, Micah.” I walked around him out the door, knowing he would follow me.
“Can I come, Rachel?”
I stared at Tia. There was a time not so long ago, I would have loved that.
“I’m sorry, Tia. You can’t.”
She started to protest and then abruptly stopped. “Okay.”
I could read the disappointment in her eyes, but there wasn’t anything I could do to make this better for her. She was pregnant and she was going to have a baby. I was going to follow what felt like my destiny. Unfortunately, she couldn’t come.
Micah followed me out into the near dawn light. “What’s going on?”
I rubbed my arms at the cool air wishing it could always feel like it was twelve noon outside. I liked warmth. I’d never gotten used to the cold, and I had a feeling I never would.
“We can’t leave him out there Undead.”
He cocked his head to the side. “Clearly. Did you bring me out here when I was finally falling into a sleep to say that?”
“No. And trust me, I get that you need sleep. I brought you out here because I want you to help me do something the adult Warriors will never approve of.” I paused. “Even if you say no, I need you to keep this between us and not tell your parents.”
Micah fell silent. “I’m listening. You have my full attention.”
“I’m sick to death of it, Micah. I’m sick to death of running, of losing people. I’m so hollow inside after losing Chad and then seeing him like that, I’m not sure anything can ever fill me up again.”
He pulled me into a brotherly hug, which I appreciated. “I told you that you should be with us.”
“No.” I shook my head searching for words. “The hollowness keeps me angry, and I’m going to need my anger for this. I need it.”
“What are you proposing we do? I have enough anger to pull us both through any task, Rachel.”
“Good. What I’m suggesting, Micah, is that those of us who feel like we do, who feel just sick of it, who felt that way even before we even went Upwards to fight, I’m suggesting that we take the fight to them.”
He stared into my eyes, and I was glad he did because it gave me the opportunity to see the realization of what I’d just said dawn on him. “You’re saying we stop reacting and start acting.”
“I am.” I walked a few paces away from him, needing to move as much as I needed to breathe. “We couldn’t have in the past. No way, no how. We didn’t know about the underground lairs, we didn’t know how their network worked. We still don’t know everything we should but….”
He interrupted. “We know enough to begin.”
“They can’t come after us here if they’re running for their lives.”
He was silent for a minute. “Not that I have any problem lying, truth telling was more Chad’s way than mine, but why can’t we tell the adult Warriors?”
“They’re too set in this. There are too many things that they cling to, things we’re going to have to let go of it this is going to work.”
“Like what?”
“Micah, I’m proposing we abandon our Warrior ways. I’m going to say that even non-Warrior humans can fight. I’m going to stop the patrols. Instead, we’re going to use our stealth abilities to go blow things up.”
“We don’t know how to blow things up.” He shrugged. “At least, I don’t know how to. It’s forbidden to have that skill. Do you know how to make a bomb?”
“I don’t, but I know someone who does. Someone who will be more than happy to teach us how.”
“Who do you know?”
I swallowed. My throat had gone dry. What I was going to tell Micah I had never, ever told anyone. It had been a secret I thought never to share because in Icahn’s Genesis, it had been so frowned upon. Now I knew why and I meant to rectify it as soon as possible.
“My father. He knows how to make things go sky high.”
Micah took a step away from me. “And you think he’d be willing to help us without telling the others?”
“My father has no love for the other Warriors, and let’s say if he objects, I’m going to remind him—vehemently—that he owes me. A lot.”
“We’d have to be careful. We’d have to be sure we asked the right people to join us. Not every young Warrior will do. Some of them are as indoctrinated to the failing system as their parents.”
“I agree.”
He smiled. “I never thought I’d say this, but Deacon would be perfect.”
“He would. He despises authority after living under the human traitors in the Vampire tunnels.”
“Yes, that.” Micah agreed. “And he’s a mean son-of-a-bitch who will probably love the idea of destroying things.”
Even though it had been one of the worst days—weeks, months—of my life, I felt a grin form on my lips. Things were looking up. We w
ere going to destroy them. I was going to see to it.
Chapter Eighteen
I woke up as the bed jostled. My eyes flew open and I gasped.
“Deacon, what are you doing?”
He rolled over onto his side. “My tent is cold.”
I shoved at his shoulder. “You can’t come and get in bed with me because you’re cold.”
I’d only been asleep for maybe two hours. My head hurt and I was in no mood to deal with this.
“I heard you earlier. I get it. You’re with the Wolf. I will keep my hands to myself.” He paused. “I don’t want to be alone, okay?”
“Fine.” I pushed him over a few more inches. “But you stay over there.”
He smiled and rolled over onto his side. I listened to him breath, waiting for him to fall asleep. After a few minutes, when I was sure he was still awake, I decided we might as well speak since neither of us was going to sleep.
“Why don’t you want to be alone?”
“Seeing Chad like that last night….”
I shuddered and forced myself to stop. “Yeah, that was pretty awful.”
“I used to see stuff like that all that time. One minute you had a friend, the next you had a Vampire. But up here, it’s different. I guess I thought when I didn’t get eaten, that part of my life was over. Turns out I’m just as much a prisoner here as I was down there.” He rolled over onto his back. The morning light showed his blue eyes red and bloodshot. “I mean if it can happen to Chad Lyons….”
“It’s not going to happen again.” After my conversation with Micah Lyons last night, I was surer than ever that this was the path I needed to be on.
“Are you a prophet now?”
I elbowed him hard in the side and he groaned. “No, I’ve made a decision that will make things better.”
He rolled over to look at me. “What’s that?”
“I’m going to take the fight to the Vampires and Icahn. I’m going to start blowing things up. I’m tired of always defending. It’s time to wage war.”
He raised a blond eyebrow. “And you’re going to do this alone?”
“No.” I turned to regard him face to face. “Micah is going to help me.”
“You talked about this with Micah before you discussed it with me?”
I chose to ignore the hurt in his voice; I didn’t have time for it. “He was with me when I made the decision. I’m hoping for your support. Truth is, I’m not sure we can do it without you.”
He reached out to trace my face, and I pulled back. He sighed. “You know you’ll always have my help, whenever you need it.” He grinned, showing off a dimple. “I really like the idea.”
“Good.” I closed my eyes and turned over so my back faced him. “Now go to sleep or I’m kicking you out of here.”
He was silent and I hoped he’d listened to instructions. After a moment, he spoke. “Get some good rest, Rachel.”
I guess I must have actually slept because the next thing I heard was the Wolf alarm blazing through the tents. I darted out of bed before my eyes had opened completely. I scrambled through the room looking for my machete. I’d thrown it down on the ground in my utter exhaustion the night before and I nearly stumbled on the weapon as I looked.
Deacon cursed as he shoved one of his feet in a boot. I blinked as I regarded him, my cheeks suddenly getting hot.
“Why are you shirtless?”
He looked up at me. “I got a little hot a couple of hours ago.”
“You came in here because you were cold.”
If I sounded accusatory, I had good reason. I would freak out if Jason had been with a half naked girl in his bed. It was bad enough Deacon had slept with me at all.
“What can I say, Rachel? You warm my soul.”
I stomped my feet, charging out of the room ahead of him. I always slept basically dressed for a fight. You never knew when you had to jump up. I swung the machete over my back as I rushed out the door.
“Wait up, Rachel.”
I ignored him. He took off his shirt? That crossed some kind of line I didn’t know I had.
As I stepped out of the tent, my Wolf senses went haywire. Wow, there were a lot of Wolves out here somewhere. I pulled the machete off my back. A non-Warrior ran up to me. She looked to be about twelve years old. Tears ran down her face.
She grabbed my arm. “My Mom and Dad….” She sobbed her words.
My stomach fell. “Did the Wolves get them?”
“Dragged them off into the woods.”
As I watched, her face became a red, snotty mess of tears. I had never been that young. I’d never stood in the middle of a clearing and sobbed, expecting anyone to help me. I wish I had been able to.
“They dragged them into the woods. Can you save them?”
If they’d been dragged off, it was too late. I’d seen bodies strewn about in the woods after a successful Wolf attack. The canines didn’t take people there to play with them. But as I stood there watching the brown-haired adolescent cry for her parents, I found myself nodding my head.
“I’ll see what I can do.”
Because if I didn’t, then her tears would become something else. They’d become tears for destroyed dreams, ended hope, and an altogether complete lack of innocence.
Deacon skidded up next to me. “What are we doing?”
“We’re going into the woods to find her parents.”
“Um…” Deacon stared at the little girl. “Okay.”
I patted Deacon on the arm. He hadn’t said it was a fruitless, impossible task. That earned him forgiveness for the shirtless sleeping thing.
“You, what’s your name?” I bent over to the regard the girl who now drooled over Deacon like he was some kind of perfect picture she just wanted to stare at all day.
Her head whipped around to gaze at me. “I’m Liia James.”
“Okay, Liia. I need for you to go get in that tent.” I pointed to the one in the middle of the compound. It’s where her family should have run the second the Wolf alarms went off. “The coast is pretty clear right now. You can make it.”
I watched for a second as she ran off with one glance back at Deacon.
“You stud, Deacon. You’re apparently so good looking you can distract adolescents about the impending doom of their friends and loved ones.”
He grinned, showing off his dimples. “Now, if only you saw me that way, Rachel.”
I rolled my eyes so he could see the gesture. “You’re so one track minded.”
“Admittedly.”
I took off at a fast pace toward the woods hoping, even as I knew it was next to impossible, that somehow, some way, the James family would not be dead in the woods.
I hated fighting the Wolves. Maybe it was a subconscious thing that had to do with Jason, but every time I had to chop off the head of some raving Werewolf I had the feeling that I’d killed someone who could, potentially, be brought back from whatever spell the Wolves were under.
But what was I supposed to do? I couldn’t let them attack us while I figured out what to do about my personal conundrum.
I moved fast, avoiding most pitfalls of rocks and holes in the ground by memory alone. It was amazing what my feet could remember from having done the run a thousand times.
I paused as I stopped at the edge of the woods. Even during the day, the woods were dark. That both protected us and left us vulnerable. Frequently, we debated trying to knock down the trees. But in the end we had no idea how to do that. For the most part, we’re pretty lost when it comes to doing things outside.
That wasn’t, however, my problem right now. At the moment, I had to be more concerned with using my hearing to tell what I was about to step into. My Wolf senses couldn’t be counted on—they’d already alerted me that there were wolves— that was about all it was going to do.
The rest was going to have to come from my ability to find them myself. And the Wolves liked to hide and then tear us to pieces.
Following my gut, I moved lef
t. Behind me, I heard Deacon follow. He wouldn’t utter a word unless he had to. Fighting with someone long enough meant you came to learn how he or she handled things.
In the distance, I heard a strangled noise. It was a man and he yelled loudly before someone, or in this case, I suspected something made him stop. It was possible it was Liia’s father or maybe it was someone else’s dad. Either way I was going in.
Deacon grabbed my arm and pointed to the left. I nodded. That sounded good to me. He’d go left. I’d go right. We’d hit the Wolves, assuming there was more than one, from both sides.
I walked as silently as possible, knowing they could probably already hear me. Or smell me. Jason had certainly taught me enough about scent.
I stopped moving. This was part of the problem we had with these monsters. We tried to play by their rules—or to skirt them. Instead of doing that, I needed to make the Wolf play by mine.
My memory flared to life and a vision of Payne stalking me through the mines shook me. I pushed it back down where it belonged. I had to be here and now if I wanted to be at all effective.
I gripped my machete so tightly my knuckles hurt.
“All right, Wolfs, I know you’re there. You know I’m here. This is how it’s going to work—I’m going to come forward and you’re going to try to attack me.” I couldn’t see Deacon, but I could imagine his mouth hung open in shock at my announcement. “In case you don’t know me, my name is Rachel Clancy.”
I heard a growl up ahead of me.
I kept speaking. “That’s right. You know my name because Icahn hates me. I might be one of his least favorite people in the world. I will be worth much more as a kill or a hostage than anyone who you have out there in the woods with you.”
Branches crunched as two Wolves stepped out of the shadows to take me up on my challenge. I swallowed as my throat went dry. They were huge, probably the biggest Wolves I had ever encountered. That was saying something, considering both Jason and Payne were huge.
The Warrior - Initiation Driven Subversive Redemption Justice Page 39