by Kelly Oram
“I’m going to be honest with you, Kyle. This idea scares me,” she said, digging into her nachos again.
I was a little offended. “Why?” I heard the disappointment in my tone and knew Robin heard it, too. “I’m only trying to help you. I could give your foundation so much publicity. I could do you guys a lot of good. Val would want me to do this.”
“That’s just it. You don’t really understand how much it would mean to Val. You don’t understand how much you mean to her.”
That was the last thing I’d expected her to say. “What do you mean?”
Robin sighed and pushed her food away. She pierced me with a grave look. “If you start this and then screw it up, you will break her heart in a way she’ll never recover from.”
Whatever she meant by that, she was one hundred percent serious. I put down my burrito, no longer in the mood to finish it. “Explain.”
“Val told me all about what happened between the two of you after the concert that night. She cried on my shoulder for days after you left. She was afraid she’d made the wrong choice. She started second-guessing herself, worried that she expected too much from people and that she’d thrown something special away when she let you go. She was in love with you, Kyle.”
I reared back in my chair, shocked by Robin’s confession and how much she meant it. Every word she said felt like a physical blow. I wanted to believe her, but I didn’t want to hear it at the same time. I hated to think that I’d hurt Val.
I didn’t like the thought that I’d made her question herself. The fact that she was so confident and determined, that she knew who she was and what she wanted, was the thing I liked the most about her. We were the same that way.
Robin continued on with her lecture, refusing to pull a single punch. “Val always hoped that one day you’d understand her choice and respect it, but she never dreamed you’d actually see things her way. She wouldn’t let herself dare to hope you’d ever be willing to wait for her.”
“But I am now. Why is that a bad thing?”
Robin tried to smile for me, but it was a sad smile. It was full of pity. “Val has faith in you,” she said. “She’s always had faith in you. She saw something good in you even when she didn’t want to. Even when I tried my best to convince her otherwise.”
“Gee, thanks,” I teased, but the jab was halfhearted. I understood why Robin would want to warn Val away from me.
Robin shrugged, unapologetic. “If you do this, if you commit to this cause, you’ll give her the hope that she’s been denying herself for years. You’ll suddenly be the perfect man, the hero, the dashing prince come to give her the happily ever after she’s dreamed of her whole life. She’ll fall again, Kyle. Hard and fast. You have to think about that. Don’t play with her heart.”
“Are you saying that I have to be ready to marry her if I want to ask her out?”
“No, but—”
“I’m not playing games with this,” I insisted, voice low. I was seriously frustrated. I took a breath and forced myself to stay calm so that I wouldn’t call attention to myself. “There’s something there between Val and me. You know there is,” I said, daring Robin with a look to deny it.
“I know,” she admitted hesitantly, but the defensiveness in her tone had lessened.
When I spoke again, it sounded like a plea. “I want to see what would happen if we gave each other a real chance, but she won’t give me that chance if I can’t commit to the abstinence thing first. I’m not thrilled about it, but she’s worth it, and I want her to know that. Doing this will help her see that I’m serious.”
Robin shook her head. “I get that,” she said. “And I think it’s great that you’re willing to try. But I don’t think you understand what you’re committing to. You said you’re only doing it for Val, which means you still don’t really get it. The abstinence challenge isn’t a game. It’s not a joke. There are so many people who take it seriously, and with you being who you are, your pledging would be a big deal to a lot of people.”
I started to argue, but Robin wouldn’t let me interrupt. “This is different than fame,” she insisted. “Pledging to the cause and becoming a spokesperson would make you a role model. People would look up to you. They’d put their faith in you. One mistake and you’d let them down. Some you’d disappoint, and others you’d simply prove right. They’d have a field day with your failure. If you screwed up even once, you’d do a lot of damage to yourself and to Valerie and the campaign she’s put so much work into. You could destroy everything she’s built. Are you ready for that kind of responsibility?”
“I—”
I didn’t know what to say. I’d driven to the foundation this evening, so sure of myself. I’d spent hours arguing with my managers and that had only strengthened my resolve, but suddenly I was sweating.
Robin reached her hand across the table and squeezed mine. The anger and skepticism were gone, replaced with endearment. I didn’t understand the mood swing. I’d just decided she hated me and thought I was a lost cause, so I wasn’t sure why I was getting a smile from her now.
“You’re a good guy, Kyle,” she said. “I know you care about Val, and I know she still cares about you. I love her and I want to see her happy. Believe it or not, I think you could do that. You’re right. There’s something between you guys. There always was. I would love to see the two of you work it out. I just want you to understand that Val comes with strings attached. You need to know what you’re getting yourself into, and you need to be sure it’s what you want before you do it. Maybe you should talk to Val first, too. You might want to make sure she wants to date you before you pledge your abstinence to her in front of the whole world.”
Maybe I shouldn’t have eaten that last burrito. I suddenly felt sick to my stomach. “Do you think she won’t give me a chance?”
“Nothing personal.” Robin shrugged. “She’s been hurt quite a bit over the last four years. It’s made her wary. She’s a stubborn, busy, determined woman, and dating doesn’t really fit into her agenda right now. If you’re going to convince her, you’ve got your work cut out for you.”
Well, that was disheartening. And extremely good to know.
I sat back and let everything she’d said today sink in. This was going to be a lot more complicated than I’d originally thought.
After a minute, Robin broke the silence. “She is worth it, Kyle,” she whispered, giving my hand another squeeze.
The second she said that, I knew. “Yeah,” I agreed. “She is.” I pulled myself out of my own head and smiled at Robin. “Thanks for the talk.”
“Sorry if I was too harsh. Pregnant women have no patience, you know.”
I shook my head. “I needed to hear it. You’re a good friend to look out for her like that. You must really care about her.”
“I do.”
Robin and I were quiet for the short ride back to the foundation office. As I helped her out of my car and into hers, I said, “I care about her, too. Enough that I’m in even if she doesn’t want to date me. Have your boss call my managers.”
“Are you sure?”
She pinned me with another serious look, but I saw the hope in her eyes as well. That hope lifted my spirits. She wanted me to win Val as much as I did. “I’m sure,” I said with new resolve. “Try not to stress too much. When I agree to do something, I do it right. I’ll be an awesome role model.”
Robin buckled her seatbelt and grinned up at me. “You’ll definitely make it interesting.”
“And sexy.”
That made her laugh. “And that,” she agreed. “Good luck, Kyle.”
I pointed to her massive belly and said, “You too.”
Val’s newest project, a nonprofit adoption agency called F is for Families, is in Sunnyvale, California, just a short trek from Stanford where Val has been living for the last four years. Like the Not Everybody’s Doing It Foundation, the office called an older strip mall home. This one, at least, was sandwiched between a dentist
and a chiropractor instead of a laundromat and a pawnshop. The front window was clean too, with a nice decal, so that was a step up.
This office was bigger, a lot brighter, and more cheerful. It had a small waiting area in front of a reception desk and a few cubicles tucked away in the back. It actually felt like a legitimate business, whereas the Not Everybody’s Doing It Foundation felt like a couple of do-gooders had decided to start a club in their parents’ basement.
The sight of this office brought me a sense of pride. Val had done this. This whole organization was her creation. Was there anything she couldn’t do? (Besides it, of course.)
“Welcome to F is for Families. May I help you?”
The woman behind the reception desk stood up to greet me. She was somewhere in her mid-fifties, had a long brown braid that reached all the way to her butt, and wore a rainbow tie-dyed sundress that screamed hippy activist. I was so out of my element here.
“Hi. I’m looking for Valerie Jensen. Is she here?”
Hippy Lady smiled at me. “Of course. She’s with a client at the moment. Have a seat. I’m sure she’ll be out of her meeting soon. I’m Rain. If you need anything, just let me know.”
“Will do. Thank you, ma’am.”
I took a seat in the hard plastic chair and reached for a magazine. Women’s Health, Parenting, and Reader’s Digest. Ugh. I decided against the stellar reading material and pulled up a game on my phone.
“Did you have an appointment, Mr.…?”
Rain was eyeing me with the hungry gaze of an expert busybody. She hadn’t recognized me, but she was obviously very curious who the strange young man visiting her boss was.
Far be it from me to withhold juicy gossip. I flashed her my best smile. “I’m Kyle. I don’t have an appointment. I’m just here to take her to lunch.”
Rain’s eyes sparked with excitement. “Valerie has a lunch date?”
Wow. Robin hadn’t been kidding when she said Val didn’t go out much. The astonishment in this woman’s voice suggested the concept was impossible.
I felt bad enough for the lady that I threw her a bone. “Actually, she doesn’t know she has a lunch date yet. I’m an old friend. I just happened to be in town and I thought I’d surprise her.”
Rain’s smile fell a little in disappointment. “From out of town?”
“Los Angeles.”
“Could be worse,” she decided, narrowing her eyes at me. “Are you single?”
I laughed. She was all right. “Very single, and very interested.”
“Well, now that’s more like it!”
Rain pulled a chair from a neighboring desk and patted the seat. “You just come on over here, Kyle, and tell me all about yourself. Can I get you a cup of coffee?”
She was already on her feet, heading for the coffee pot, so I said “Thank you” and came to sit in the chair next to hers.
“Cream and sugar?” she called out.
“Coffee is coffee. I’ll accept it in any form.”
Rain grinned as she handed me a cup and sat down. She took a moment to look me over before shaking her head, as if to clear it. “Well, you are just a downright handsome young man, aren’t you? What brings you to town? I hope you’re here for the whole weekend. Valerie needs to be taken out on a proper date. She’s such a catch, that one, but she won’t step away from work long enough to let the men know it.”
“Well, I know it.”
“You do?” Rain bit her lip in an attempt to contain her excitement.
I leaned toward her and whispered, “Can I let you in on a little secret?” Rain hunched forward, her eyes glittering with anticipation. “I didn’t ‘just happen’ to be in town. I came here specifically to see Val. I have no plans other than to woo her, and I’ll stay for as long as it takes.”
Rain was too overwhelmed to speak. She clutched at her chest, as if trying to make sure her heart didn’t burst from it. Before the moment could get awkward, a door opened and Val stepped out into the main office with a teary-eyed couple and a pregnant girl that couldn’t have been more than fifteen or sixteen.
Val shook the man’s extended hand as the woman dabbed at her eyes with Kleenex. “We can’t say ‘thank you’ enough.”
“There’s no need to thank me. That’s what this program is for. Don’t forget to schedule your next appointment with Rain before you go.”
The teen suddenly threw herself at Val, enveloping her in a tight hug. “Thank you so much, Miss Jensen!” she blubbered.
Val hugged the girl back and brushed her thumb over the girl’s wet cheeks. “Dry those tears now, Colleen. Everything’s going to be okay.”
The girl nodded, gaping up at Val with a look of hero worship. I could relate. Val was amazing. Watching her with those people stirred something in my chest. I could understand why Robin had been so hesitant before. This was about more than just an abstinence challenge. Val really did make a difference in people’s lives. I could help her with that…or I could screw it up for her. I absolutely couldn’t screw it up for her. Not now, not ever. No matter what I had to sacrifice.
“She’s definitely worth it.”
I didn’t realize I’d spoken out loud until Rain patted my knee and said, “Yes, she is.”
Our conversation caught the attention of Val and her clients. “Kyle?” Val gasped at the same time the teenager shrieked.
“Kyle Hamilton? Mom! Dad! That’s Kyle Hamilton!”
The girl bounded over to me with fresh tears in her eyes, ignoring her parents’ protests. “I’m sorry! I just love you soooooo much!” she cried.
“Thank you, Colleen, was it?”
I stood and opened my arms—an invitation for the girl to hug me. She screamed again and plastered herself to me as if she planned on staying there forever. “I can’t believe I’m meeting you! You’re my favorite singer in the whole world! I was so sad when Tralse broke up!”
I laughed and hugged the girl back. I winked at her parents over her shoulder to let them know it was okay. They gave me matching, chagrined smiles. “Have you heard the new song yet?” I asked Colleen, my eyes drifting to Val as I spoke.
“Yes!” Colleen squealed. “I saw you on the Connie Parker Show last week! It’s amazing! And so romantic!”
“Amazing, you say? And romantic?” I couldn’t help the grin I shot Val. “Imagine that.”
When I chuckled, Colleen pulled her face out of my chest and glanced down at the A dangling from my wrist, nearly swooning from shock. “I still can’t believe you’re doing the abstinence challenge.”
Maybe her disbelief should have been insulting, but it made me laugh. “A necessary evil if I want to date the fair virgin.”
The girl’s eyes widened.
“All right. I think that’s enough of that.” Val stepped between Colleen and me. After giving me an exasperated look, she apologized to Colleen’s parents for the interruption and marched them to the front desk. “The Mastersons have been approved and need to schedule an appointment.”
Rain’s answering smile was sincere. “Wonderful.”
Once the family was out of the building, Val whirled on me. “What are you doing here?” she hissed.
“Taking you to lunch.” I held my hands up in a gesture of surrender. “Why am I in trouble? What did I do?”
My questions made Val realize she’d just snapped at me and startled her out of her bad mood. She rubbed her temples and sighed. “I’m sorry. I’m just surprised to see you.”
“You didn’t call me. I waited for two weeks. I don’t have your number anymore, so what else was I supposed to do?”
She looked at me with that same sad expression she’d worn at the studio. “You shouldn’t have come.”
“Why?” I demanded. I knew she’d try to blow me off, and I wasn’t going to let her get away with it.
Val glanced around the room at our growing audience. Everyone in the office had stepped out of their cubicles to see what was going on. Rain watched us, transfixed. Val’s face
pinched again and she grabbed my hand. “Let’s go talk in my office.”
I yanked my fingers from her grip. “So you can blow me off before giving me a chance? No way. Not this time.”
“Kyle, we can’t do this.”
I reeled her in and slipped my arms around her waist so she couldn’t escape me. “Tell me you haven’t been thinking about me since the second you saw me.”
She didn’t answer, but the truth was in her eyes.
Her brows fell into a frown and she closed her eyes as if to shut me out or make me disappear. It hurt that she wouldn’t even look at me. Why did my physical presence seem to cause her so much pain? What had I done that was so wrong?
“We’re a lost cause, Kyle,” she whispered. “You know we are. Do you really want to put us both through that again? It’s been four years and I still feel heartsick over it every now and then.”
She was making this more complicated than it had to be. My heart ached at the pain in her voice. I had to make it stop. I had to take away whatever sorrow she felt toward me. “There’s a time and a place for everything, Val. We weren’t ready then. But now?”
Holding her tightly to me with one arm, I tucked her hair behind her ear and forced her chin up. My fingertips lingered on her cheek. I couldn’t seem to pull them away.
She shuddered at my touch and placed her hands on my chest as if to push me away, but she made no real effort to escape me. “Now?” she repeated, her voice so faint I barely heard her.
“I’ll wait for you. I’ll wait all the way to the altar if we make it that far.”
Startled, her body went stiff and her breath hitched. Her beautiful brown eyes, glossy from a layer of unshed tears, stared up at me with both fear and hope. Vulnerable as she was in that moment, she was the most beautiful thing I’d ever seen.
“I’ve been waiting for you since the moment I put on the bracelet,” I said. “And you’re waiting for me, too.” I smirked at the question in her eyes. “Four years and you’ve never fallen for anyone else? You’re not over me. You still want this as much as I do.”