by Kelly Oram
Gordon shook off his bewilderment and focused. “Okay, the extremely short version. Do either of you have vows you’d like to exchange?”
I looked at Val and she looked at me. “I do?” she offered.
I smiled. She’d told me before that she lacked creativity and was horrible with words, but those two, right then, were perfect. “I definitely do,” I promised.
We both looked back at Gordon with expectant faces. “How was that?” I asked.
He gave us another baffled smile and chuckled. “Very…functional. Do you have rings?”
Oops. Val and I looked at each other again and I saw the laughter in her eyes as she scrunched up her face. “We forgot about the rings.”
I cut a glance to Gordon. “Are rings necessary to make it legal?”
For a second, I was afraid we were going to have to come back later. I’d have asked Wanda for some paper clips or tape or even a piece of gum—anything I could wrap around my finger. But then Gordon laughed again and shook his head. “They’re just traditional.”
I let out a breath of relief so big that even Wanda laughed at me. “Awesome. We’ll get the rings later. What’s next?”
Gordon smiled. “By the power vested in me by the state of California, I pronounce you man and wife. You may kiss the—okay, I see you already figured that much out.”
Val and I laughed against each other’s mouths, but we didn’t break our kiss. I squeezed my arms around her and she jumped up, wrapping her legs around my waist. I spun her in circles once or twice, our kiss getting more and more heated until Wanda cleared her throat again. We turned our faces and smiled for the camera. “Congratulations, you crazy kids.”
“Thanks, Wanda.”
I kissed Val one more time for good measure and then set her back on her feet. It was time to get out of there.
“You’re all set,” Gordon promised. “You’ll receive the official marriage certificate in the mail within two weeks. Congratulations; I think that was the shortest wedding I’ve ever performed.”
“It was perfect,” Val said.
The emotion in her voice caught me by surprise and a big lump formed in my throat when I looked over to see her eyes shiny with happy tears. “I love you,” she whispered.
“I love you more,” I promised and pulled her into my arms again, suddenly needing another kiss. “Let’s get out of here.”
For once, Val answered that request with a smile and a nod. “Let’s.”
“Good luck!” Gordon called as we left the room. He winked at Val and she turned bright red again. I gave her a wicked smile and said, “Luck will have nothing to do with it.”
We got all the way back to our car before we found ourselves at another loss. There was one more part of this brilliant plan we hadn’t thought of ahead of time. “Where do you want to go?” I asked as we buckled ourselves in. “I’ll take you anywhere in the world you want to go…tomorrow. I need you sooner than that today. Marina Del Rey is close, or I know a great resort over the border in TJ.”
Val grabbed my hand over the center console. “Why don’t we just go back to your place?” she said. “Honestly, it’s nicer than any hotel, the view is unbeatable, it’s stocked with food, and the pool and hot tub are private.”
I blinked at her, hardly able to believe such a perfect woman existed.
“And now that I have a lifetime supply of slutty underwear,” she continued, “we shouldn’t have to leave for days.”
“It’s sexy underwear,” I corrected, “and you are brilliant. Home it is.”
The drive back to Malibu felt longer than my last ten months of abstinence combined, but I knew it was worth it the minute I pulled into the driveway and realized that my house was no longer just my house. It was our house. Val gave me a questioning look when I didn’t pull the car into the garage. “I have to do this right,” I told her.
We walked to the front door, and as soon as it was unlocked I swept Val into my arms. “Welcome home, Mrs. Hamilton,” I said as I carried her over the threshold.
The gesture made Val’s eyes tear up again. I leaned in to kiss her, and the way she responded shocked me. She kissed me like she’d never kissed me before. Apparently, she’d always been holding back until now. She put everything she had into that kiss—lips, tongue, arms, legs, body, heart, mind, passion, and more lust than I knew she was capable of. She literally brought me to my knees and I almost took her right there on the entryway tile.
Then I remembered that this was her first time, and I was able to calm down. Yes, I wanted her, but this was about her. She’d saved herself for this moment, so I could do it right. I picked her up again and wordlessly carried her to the bedroom.
As I set her on the bed she looked a little nervous, so I kissed her very gently and laid down next to her. I propped myself up on my side and smiled down at her with what I hoped was more love than lust. “Are you ready for this?” I asked.
Her response surprised me. “I trust you.”
It was exactly what I needed to hear.
I took my time with her, slowly introducing her to the world of lovemaking. It was easy not to think about my own needs when every touch, every kiss, every caress was a new experience for her. At first, she was shy and so completely vulnerable that it felt like a miracle she could trust me with her body.
I can’t even begin to describe the emotions I experienced as we got to know each other in this new way. I’d been with so many women in my life—women I’d loved, women I’d only known for five minutes, women who knew a hundred different ways to please me, and even a few women I knew were virgins. But I’d never experienced the intimacy I achieved with Val.
In a way, it was almost as if I was experiencing something new right along with her. I’d had sex so many times I’d lost count years ago, but I’d never made love, not really, not with a woman I loved so much my heart literally ached with it.
It was during that time with Val that I finally understood why she’d wanted to wait. Because every time I looked at her, the only thing I could think about was that this beautiful angel was my wife. She’d already promised me the rest of her life. She’d taken my name and agreed to be my new family. There was no fear anywhere in my mind, no doubt at all that I loved her and she loved me.
In the end, I was glad we’d waited. Of course, I’d save that little confession for a day when I inevitably acted like a jackass and got myself in a lot of trouble. (It was bound to happen sometime: I am still me, after all.)
Val and I didn’t leave the house for four days, but then life had to go on. There were final tour preparations and rehearsals to attend, a handful of media appearances to make, girly-smelling shampoos and soaps to buy because Val hated “smelling like a man,” and there was family and friends to break the news to before the media found out and did it for us.
We told Cara, Shane, and Robin first. Cara squealed for ten minutes straight and then punched me for not inviting her. When I blamed the secrecy all on Val, she punched me again. She didn’t calm down until we let her watch the wedding video. Oddly, though the whole thing was really quite comical, both Robin and Cara cried like babies through the entire video. (All three minutes of it.)
We visited Val’s parents next, who were surprisingly relieved. They’d suspected an engagement was coming and were every bit as worried about a nationally covered wedding as Val had been. I’d gotten off on a really rocky start with Val’s parents, but they’d slowly warmed up to me after they realized I respected Val enough to wait for her. Now they were just happy to see Val so happy.
My parents were an entirely different story. They were pissed, but Val smoothed things over by promising that we would be home over Thanksgiving and asking my mom if she would throw us a reception. Since I was going to be busy on tour and she was going to be up to her eyeballs in homework, she gave my mother complete control over the event. It was a big mistake to let my mom be in charge, but it got her off my case about eloping, so I kept my mouth shut and wou
ld suffer through the nightmare party she was sure to throw.
After that, the only people left to tell was the rest of the world, and I knew exactly how I wanted to do it. Val would never have agreed, so I didn’t tell her.
Flyin’ Solo was the name of my debut solo album, and ever since Val and I got married I’d joked that I needed to change the name because I was never going to fly solo ever again.
The night of the first concert for the Flyin’ Solo tour, it felt so good to be back onstage, but it was completely surreal. I was back at the Staples center—the same stadium where I kicked off the S is for Sex tour all those years ago, and, once again, I was buzzing with energy because I had a song to sing for Val.
The concert had been amazing. The crowd loved the new material and it seemed like they were as happy to have me back as I was to be back. Plus, between each song I got to look off to the side and see Val smiling at me from backstage. She and Cara stood there dancing and singing along the entire time, while Shane and I rocked our hearts out. It was all I’d ever wanted out of life.
Upcoming nightmare wedding reception notwithstanding, it was good to be me.
At the end of the show, I came running off the stage and into Val’s waiting arms. After kissing her stupid, I looked down at her jeans and sighed. “The only thing missing tonight is Sassy.”
“Sassy” was the killer miniskirt she’d been wearing the day I first laid eyes on her. It was also the skirt she’d been wearing the last time I’d dragged her out on stage with me. It felt wrong that I was going to make a spectacle of her again without my favorite feature—her legs—on display.
“I know it’s disappointing,” she teased me, “but I’m a little too old to be running around in miniskirts now.”
“Oh, I beg to differ, Val.”
“I’m sure you do.” She laughed and kissed my cheek. “They’re screaming your name, rock star. You’d better get back out there for the encore.”
I listened to the crowd chant and grinned. I really did love that sound. With one last parting kiss she sent me back out on stage, slapping my butt as I went. It was so unlike her that I was lost in laughter when I met my audience again.
Once I regained my composure, I turned my smile on my audience. “I just want to thank you guys for being here tonight. It’s been a few years, and it’s great to be back.”
The crowd agreed with me, roaring their applause. I waited for them to settle down and said, “How many of you guys were here with me four years ago for the S is for Sex tour?”
From the sound of it, most of them were. I was glad for that. “You guys may remember back then I wrote a song about a girl, and wouldn’t you know it, I’ve gone and done it again!”
The answering cheer I got was so energized that I had to laugh. “You guys like the new song?” Again, they went crazy. “Yeah,” I said as soon as I could. “Val likes it, too. In fact, I think she’s been waiting all night to hear this one song.”
I turned to the side of the stage and found what I was looking for—who I was looking for. She blew me a kiss and I waved a hand at her. “Come on out here, Val. Come say hi to everybody.”
Val gave me a dry look but it quickly morphed into a grudging smile. When she walked out on stage and took my hand, the crowd went absolutely insane. They started chanting her name just as they’d been shouting mine.
“Virgin-Val! Virgin-Val! Virgin-Val!”
“Who’s the rock star now?” I teased as I held the microphone up to her. “Say hi, Val.”
“Hello, everyone.”
When that single polite greeting sent them into another tizzy, Val laughed.
“What do you say, Val?” I asked as a stagehand brought out a stool for Val. “Can I sing you a song? For old times’ sake?”
Val, though she didn’t always love the spotlight, had always been good with a crowd. She stepped away from me and brought a finger to her chin, pretending to think about it, then grabbed the mic out of my hands. “What do you say, ladies?” she asked the audience. “Should we let him serenade us one last time?”
“Sounds like a yes,” she said when every female in the audience screamed.
I held my hand out for the mic and she smiled at me. “What?” she asked. “You need this in order to sing?” She stepped away from me with a playful grin. “You’d better come get it, then,” she said, placing it behind her back.
I was on her so fast I startled her. I pulled her into my arms and planted a movie-worthy kiss on her as I grabbed the mic from her hands. The crowed went insane and the music started. I didn’t release Val’s lips until the last possible second, and I almost missed the first line of the song.
Val sat on her stool and let me sing for her with a secret smile on her face that made me glad neither of us was leaving until tomorrow. I only had a few more hours with her before we’d be separated for a week or two at a time over the course of the next few months, and I wasn’t going to waste them.
When the song was over, I took a bow and then pulled Val from her stool and made her take a bow, too. We stood there and let the crowd cheer for a minute, but then Val took a step to exit the stage. I clamped my hand over her wrist and pulled her back to me. “What are you doing?” she asked, confused.
“We’re not done yet.”
Val got that panicked look on her face that I loved so much that she gets when she knows I’m about to make a scene. “What are you up to?”
If ever there was a time to smirk, it was right then and there. “You said no live proposals,” I told her, “but you didn’t say anything about live announcements.”
Her eyes popped as wide as saucers and she shook her head. “Kyle, no. Not right now. Not like this.”
“Oh, yeah,” I said, ignoring her protests. “There’s a time and a place for everything, Val, and right now, right here, is definitely the right time to let the world know the truth.”
I ignored her further complaints and put the microphone back to my mouth. “Hey, everyone, hey, can I get you guys to quiet down for a minute? I’ve got something I want to say before you all leave.”
It was amazing how quickly the entire stadium full of people settled down and gave me their full attention. With one last wink Val’s direction, I gave the announcement I’d been dying to shout from the rooftops since the moment we became man and wife.
“Four years ago I kicked off the S is for Sex tour in this same stadium, and Val and I reconciled right in this very spot.” I stamped my foot on the stage for emphasis. “She had me on my knees that night, and it only seems fitting that tonight I do it again.”
I dropped to my knees in front of Val and then smiled at the crowd. “Well,” I said, “maybe I only need to be on one knee this time.”
When I adjusted my position so that I was kneeling on one knee for Val, the crowd thought I was going to propose and they went completely ballistic. They screamed and cheered so loudly that the entire building shook. I had to wait so long for them to calm down that my knee was starting to throb. “Val,” I said, once I knew people could hear me again, “I’ve got something I’d like to ask you.”
That, of course, set the audience off again and I had to wait some more. That was okay, though, because I was really enjoying the confused look on Val’s face. She couldn’t figure out where I was going with this.
“Val?” I said again when I got tired of waiting for the crowd. They hushed down the second I started speaking. “What I want to ask you is…” I paused, and the entire stadium took a collective breath as they waited for the rest. I grinned again. This was going to be fun. “Can we finally tell the world that we got married last week? I’m tired of waiting to show off my wife.”
It took a second for the crowd to understand. There was a moment of silence, and then thousands of gasps, and finally an eruption of cheers that rocked all of L.A. I got to my feet, kissed Val’s hand, and then pushed her toward the crowd. “Everybody let me introduce you to my wife, Mrs. Valerie Hamilton!”
I’d screamed it as loud as I could. I think I might have even been more excited than the crowd. “I asked her to marry me last week, and she threw me in the car and dragged me to the courthouse. The woman just couldn’t wait to finally get her hands on me,” I told the crowd, earning an eye roll from Val. I winked at her.
Val had been worried about the sex thing, so I figured I might as well get it out there now, and on our own terms. “Needless to say, Virgin Val Jensen is no longer a virgin. I made sure of that. Many, many times.”
The crowd hooted and hollered and cheered while Val turned pink and slapped my arm. But she was laughing along with me, being a good sport as always.
“So, Val, now that we’ve finally done it, there’s only one thing left to do.” I held out my hand and curled my fingers in a “give me” gesture. “Hand it over. I’ve earned it.”
Val knew what I was talking about. She shook her head and laughed as she unclasped the infamous necklace from her neck. “Yes, I suppose you have earned this,” she said into the mic as she placed the chain with that little white-gold V on it into my hand. In a dry voice she added, “Many, many, many times.”
This time, I burst into laughter right along with the crowd. I undid my bracelet and held it up in front of me. “I definitely don’t need to wear this anymore, either. I know it’s yours, but it’s been a good luck charm for me for so long that I’m going to hang on to it. However, I did get you something to replace your necklace. I slipped my bracelet into my pocket and pulled out the necklace I’d bought to replace Val’s V. It was white gold just like her old necklace, but instead of a V charm it had a shiny little K dangling from it.
I held it up and watched Val’s eyes gloss over. I guess I’d done well. She chewed on her bottom lip as I reached up to clasp it around her neck, and then brushed her hands over the charm when it fell against her chest. “It’s beautiful,” she said into the microphone, “but what does the K stand for?”
The crowed laughed and I pulled her against me. “Kiss me,” I said.
I wasn’t sure if it was an answer to her question or simply a command, but either way she said “Okay” and slid her arms around my neck.