by Thornton, EJ
While Peter watched the eagle, I gently put the feather on the table behind him. "This is your present, son. Always feel how close I am to you. Always know that I can hear you."
When he turned around, he was startled to see the feather. He took a quick step back. "Whoa!" He looked back up at the sky and the eagle was gone. He picked up the feather and examined it closely. He said, "Thank you, Dad. somehow I just know it's you." He stood there for a minute collecting his thoughts. Then he folded his arms, concealed the feather and walked back in the house. Apparently intending to keep this experience to himself, he went straight to his room.
I took some time after that to talk to each one of my grandchildren. I rode around on their shoulders and tickled their ears from time to time. I told each of them the story of the day they were born and where I was when it happened and what it was like for me the first time I saw them. They'd each heard the story before, but I had fun telling them again.
Before long, it was time to go to the church. The boys were all handsome and girls were all beautiful. Everyone was dignified. They filed silently out the door and got into the cars, without bickering or tattling. I believe that was a first. We drove off to the church.
I decided to go ahead of them to check out the church. George, Sheila, Mother and Dad came with me.
It was so touching. There were several arrangements up near the altar distributed beautifully around my closed coffin. Our church organist was playing very somber, but beautiful, hymns quietly in the background. Some of my friends had already arrived and were seated.
My job was to give them all a gift.
One couple, dear friends whom Glory and I had had dinner with many times, were seated about halfway down. Our children were all about the same ages. We'd sit for hours and talk and talk. Her name was Margaret and his was Jimmy. Margaret had a very sad, reflective look on her face. Jimmy took Margaret's hand and patted it. I could tell he wanted to say something to comfort her, but the best he could do was to let her know he felt the same way. I sat in the pew in front of them, turned around and started to talk to them both.
I wanted to give them a happy memory.
"Do you remember," I began. "that night when Glory and I came to dinner over at your house? Jimmy, you and I were watching game two of the World Series and our beautiful wives were making the preparations for the next church rummage sale. The kids were playing in their room. Do you remember how they were playing? That was the time they were dressing up your tired ol' basset hound, using the laundry they should've been putting away." A slight, distant smile came over Margaret's face; Jimmy looked down as if he were embarrassed. "Then all of a sudden the ladies burst out laughing and we were at a loss as to why, but there was your dog, with your boy's underwear on his head, with his ears hanging out of the leg holes. Thank goodness those shorts were clean!"
Jimmy chuckled to himself, but he still looked down. It was enough of a noise, though, that it startled Margaret. "What?" she asked.
"Oh nothing. I was just thinking about that night when they came over to watch the World Series --"
"And your dog came out wearing your son's drawers on his head!" She finished for him. He nodded and looked away, for fear he'd break out laughing at the thought. "That's funny, I was thinking about that exact same night."
"We had some good times," Jimmy said.
"Let's focus on that. Praise God for the time we did have him in our lives. I'm sure going to miss him." Margaret moved closer to Jimmy and put her head on his shoulder. He put his arm around her.
I went behind them and put my arm around both of them. "Next time your dog comes out of the room with underwear on his head, you'll know I came back to visit." I kissed them both on the top of the head and said, "Thank you for all the good times. I know you'll both help take care of Glory for me."
Another very dear couple was there and I relived another one of my favorite memories with them. As I finished up, recalling the time all our boys' had finished painting our garage (and themselves), I saw my brother at the entrance of the sanctuary. This was the first time I'd seen him since I passed on. I was incredibly happy to see him, but he was distraught. He was rigid and his face was strained. I flew over to him and embraced him. "I've missed you, Lucas," I whispered in his ear. His body began to shake and his wife Lydia grabbed him and we all helped him to the first available seat. He cried as quietly as he could, out of respect for the church, but it was like trying to cap a volcano.
"This is the first time he's let it out," his angel told me. "This is the first time since he found out about your passing that he's cried. Just being here at the church, seeing everything, hearing you now. He needs to let it out." I held him as tight as I could and continued to tell him how much he meant to me. Lydia silently rocked him, held him and comforted him. I thanked her for loving him and being such a good wife to him all these years.
Almost as suddenly as he had started crying, he stopped. A friend nearby went out and got him a cup of water, which he drank and waved a "Thank you" gesture. Lydia helped him up and they went and took their seats in the family section down front.
Chapter 11
Many people arrived all at once, Glory and the family among them. Peter and Melinda herded the children to their seats. Jeremi held Glory on one side, Sarah on the other as they walked her down the aisle to the front of the church.
Many people stopped Glory on her way. They gave her hugs or kissed her. She was becoming overwhelmed, so Jeremi, politely, headed off the rest of the well-wishers by making eye contact with them or by giving subtle hand gestures that Glory was oblivious to.
They sat down in the front pew. Sarah sat on one side of Glory, Jeremi on the other. Peter and Melinda sat next to Sarah. Vivian and her husband sat right behind Glory. Vivian touched Glory's shoulder and Glory patted Vivian's hand. It was an unspoken moment of understanding between best friends.
All of their angels sat on their shoulders, with the exception of Naomi who knelt at Glory's feet and held hands with her and Sarah. Glory was well taken care of.
I went up to the pulpit and stood behind it. It was a familiar physical perspective, but a very, very different spiritual one. Some people looked up at the pulpit with a longing. I could tell they wanted a sign that I was with them.
It was Sarah's turn for a gift; she needed to hear her favorite hymn. The organist, Lucille, was about to start another song for her prelude. She organized and situated herself. This was going to be easy. Glory and Peter had picked out the songs for the service, but for Sarah's sake, there was going to be a change in the program.
If Lucille was true to form, she had a meticulously written list of songs with their titles and their numbers. She followed it carefully for every service she played. All I had to do was to change the number. I knew by heart the number of the hymn I wanted. I had sung it a million times, but it held so much more meaning now. I touched her piece of paper and the number for the next song changed. It even still looked like it was in her handwriting. This angel business was incredibly fun! Sheila joined me behind Lucille. We both watched her as she opened her hymnal to the next number on her list. She looked at the book and realized the title was different than what she had written. She looked through her glasses at it, then she looked over her glasses at it. She looked back at the number and back at the book. She sat there perplexed for a couple of moments, before she made a command decision. She always was very professional. I knew she'd avoid fumbling through the index of the book looking for the original song's number. I could hear her mutter to herself. "I could've swore I looked that up last night. Well, Martin liked this hymn, too. This is for you, my dear brother Harper."
"Good girl," I said and kissed her on the cheek.
"Let's sing it for them, Dad," Sheila said. The angels who love to sing joined us on the altar, together in a heavenly choir. We all joined in singing the spiritual.
"Shall we gather at the river, the beautiful, the beautiful river. Gather with the Saints a
t the river, that flows by the throne of God." It was so much fun to sing. The angels in the congregation swayed and clapped along with the singing. Many people in the congregation hummed along with the angels' singing. My family and friends could hear the singing in their minds, although I knew their minds interpreted it as a memory of when they had heard it before.
A tear rolled down Sarah's cheek and a slight smile started to form on one side of her mouth. She sang lightly along with us. Just like at the dinner table when the mood lightened when the angels laughed, this mood grew more peaceful when the angels sang. It was just the touch that was needed.
When the song ended, Lucille looked over at Glory and their eyes met. Lucille shrugged her shoulders and Glory let her know it was okay that she'd played that song instead of the one Glory and Peter had planned. Lucille sighed with relief that Glory approved of the improptu program change. With a little apprehension, Lucille turned to the next song that was on her list; fortunately, its title matched. She clasped her hands quickly. "Praise Jesus," she said low under her breath. Then she began to play a mellow and slow version of "The Old Rugged Cross."
The service was about to start. I took my seat where I always had, behind the pulpit. My dear friend and associate pastor, Brother Hamilton, sat right beside me. He prayed quietly, under his breath. "Father, please give me the strength to carry the family through this service. May we do all in our power to glorify you, while we here gather to honor Martin's memory, one of your newest angels. In Jesus' name, amen."
"Amen," I said with him.
He took a deep breath and went to the pulpit. He began strong. He came out of the gate preaching. "Friends! We are gathered here today to pay tribute to our dearly departed husband, father, grandfather, brother, friend and pastor, Martin Harper. Friends, I tell you, this is a glad day! This is a day to Praise God for allowing us to have such a wonderful man in our midst for as long as he allowed us Brother Harper!"
A light chorus of "amens" and "praise Jesus" resounded.
"We should be grateful for our Brother Harper has passed through the gates of Heaven! Oh, yes! Let's be glad for Brother Harper, for he is in a better place. He has angel wings and is with his lovely daughter Sheila once again! They are rejoicing in Heaven surrounded by love."
There was a "hallelujah" or two, but the congregation was slow catching up to his level of energy and calls for celebration.
"Friends, Brother Harper was a good man. He had a wonderful family. He had a beautiful wife."
Peter, Jeremi and Sarah said, "Amen!"
"That's right, could I have an Amen? Brother Harper had a beautiful wife!"
And everyone said, "Amen."
"He had two strong sons! He had two beautiful daughters. He was as blessed as a man could be with a loving family. Can I get an Amen?!"
Everyone said a slightly more enthusiastic, "Amen."
"He led this church through lean times and good times. He was there, for you Brother Lester, when your house burned down, working right beside you, helping you rebuild, right?" Brother Lester nodded in agreement.
"And he was there, for you Sister Foster, holding your hand all night long at the hospital after Walter's accident?" Lucille nodded, too.
"And for you, Brother," he pointed at the next unsuspecting soul in the congregation, "And for you, Sister. And we were there for him and Sister Harper throughout their daughter's illness and untimely death?" All the church said, "Yes, Lord!"
Glory put her hands up in the air and joined in the answer.
"He was as blessed as a man could be, with true friends."
And the congregation said, "Amen."
"Each and everyone of us, have some special moment, some memory, that only you and Brother Harper share. Yes?" He waited for a moment, until he got a response from the congregation. "That moment, those moments, those times, those memories, that is the way to keep Brother Harper with us always. Let us pause in prayer, then lift our voice in song, as Sister Foster leads us in playing a song that Brother Harper led us in many times, celebrating the tie we share with him forever-'Blest Be The Tie That Binds.'"
We'd sung that song so many times as a congregation that nobody needed a hymnal. Lucille could even have played it from memory.
When the song ended, Peter walked up to the pulpit, put his handkerchief back in his pocket on the way. He looked around at everybody there and then he took a long, deep breath. He started out reserved and quiet. "I want to thank you all for coming today and for the support you have given us over the past several days. My mother also expresses her gratitude for all your kindness." Glory turned in her seat and nodded back at everyone, then looked back at Peter. "I know that my father would want us to be joyous right now, especially because we are all together, but that's hard to do." He paused for a moment and swallowed hard. "I want to be happy for him, for he is in the Promised Land." The "Amens" and "praise God's" kept coming and as they did Peter got stronger and stronger. "He has gone on, yet he is still here with with us." He patted his left jacket pocket which is where I know he'd put the feather I had given him. "I know he's here, right now, with us and showering his love all over us right now. He's probably sitting in his chair right back here"--he pointed me out--"and saying 'Now go on. Quit your crying. I taught you better than that!' And he did. He taught us better. He taught us so much. He taught us how to love one another. He taught us how to love the Lord and put him first and sit back and watch Jesus and his angels take care of us! He taught us how to be strong in adversity. He taught us how to accept help when the strength had left us. He raised us to be proud of who we were and what we were a part of, our family, our church, our neighborhood, our world. He would want us to remember that--always!" He stopped abruptly. He began again quietly. "Today we come to honor my father, our father, my mother's husband, our pastor and the best example I've ever seen of what a real man is." He stopped, looked down at the coffin and said, "I promise, Dad--" but he stopped short and turned around and looked at me in my chair instead, "I promise, Dad, I will try to be the best father I can. I will do it by living your example and remembering all you taught me, so that I can teach it to my children. We all miss you, Dad, and love you so much." He took his handkerchief back out of his pocket, wiped his face with it as he went back to his seat.
"I'm so proud of you, son," I said right back.
Brother Hamilton went back up to the pulpit. "Thank you, Peter," he began. "Please remember, whenever your heart gets heavy with the burden of your life, that whatever troubles you face, whatever loss you have suffered, in the words of another of Brother Harper's favorite hymns, 'Heaven bears up all of Earth's sorrows.'" He nodded over to Lucille, who began to play the intro. "Let's join together now, praising God, the father Almighty and His only son Jesus Christ our Lord, in celebration of the wonderful life of our beloved Brother in Christ." The organ turned up the volume and the congregation sang out loud with a strong and stirring rendition of "How Great Thou Art." The angels sang right beside their charges. I know all of Heaven could hear.
When the song ended, Brother Hamilton said, "Graveside services will be following directly. Then we are all invited to a reception at Sister Vivian Peterson's house to visit with the family." He raised both hands out high in front of him and began preaching his benediction. "God's peace be with you all until we meet again. In the holy name of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. Amen and Amen!"
And that was that. My funeral was over. It was a beautiful service. I wanted it to keep going. I guess I really just wanted all the love in this room to remain as strong as it was this very moment. It felt so wonderful. It was humbling to be the focus of so much love. I did have a wonderful life on earth. I was blessed. I was truly blessed.
One by one my friends filed past the casket. Most of them touched it, very delicately and lovingly and said how much they missed me. As each one filed by, I kissed them, hugged them, patted them on the back or showed some other form of affection that we would have shown to each other durin
g my life on Earth. After they filed by the coffin, they greeted Glory, Peter, Jeremi and Sarah with hugs, support and friendship. Most of them said, "If there's anything, anything, I can do, please let me know." Glory was gracious, but this was all very wearing on her. She was very tired. Finally the last one made their way by and left.
Then it was Glory, Peter, Jeremi, Sarah, Viv, the good reverend, and all the angels gathered around the casket. One by one they took each other's hand and stood there in silence. We angels stood in a protective ring around them. I was right with Glory. Everyone, even the angels were completely silent.
Suddenly, Glory broke down and cried on the casket. Both Peter and Jeremi, who were on either side of her, put their arms around her. Sarah and Viv reached over the men to touch her. All the angels did the same.
"Give her strength, Lord. Please!" I begged.
With a sudden splendor, the sun broke through the clouds and through the windows very brightly. It lit up the golden cross that was on the back wall of the altar. Peter felt a sudden warmth and looked up to see the cross as it radiated the light. Then Sarah saw it, then Jeremi, then Viv.
"Mama," Peter whispered.
She looked up and saw the beautifully sunlit cross. She stopped crying and gasped.
A strong soothing voice, heard with the ears of the angels and with the hearts of those living said, "Let my Father's perfect peace be upon you. Find comfort in your faith and know that I am with you, always."
"Thank you," I whispered humbly, trembling.
"Peace be on you as well, Martin. Your prayers are heard and answered. These angels have been sent to look over your family, as you have requested all of your life and as you have requested now. They will be safe. They will be strong. Take comfort in your faith and know that I am always with you, too."