by Gail Sattler
“I hadn’t really thought about it. Why wouldn’t he?”
Five
Dennis stuck the pacifier back into Raymond’s mouth and stared into the glow of the woodstove. “Do you have any idea what time it is?”
He could tell Adelle was yawning without looking at her.
“Nearly midnight.”
The pacifier fell out again. Fortunately it only fell onto the couch instead of the floor. Dennis gave up, and let it lie beside Raymond. “I think he yawned, but I’m not sure.” Just the thought that Raymond could have yawned made it impossible for Dennis to hold back a yawn of his own. He didn’t know how Raymond could be so wide-awake, because he couldn’t remember ever being so tired.
The tragic events of this past week had left him numb. The fact that he would never see his brother again didn’t hit him until after the funeral, when he was alone that night at Harv’s and Katie’s house with only Raymond to keep him company.
Rather than sleeplessly tossing and turning all night, he started packing everything to get their house ready to sell. That was when the realization finally sank in that Harv and Katie were never coming back. Going through their belongings with the house in the disarray of normal life stressed the abrupt finality of their deaths. It felt as if they should be walking in the door at any time, except he knew they wouldn’t.
The only thing that eased the pain was knowing that both Harv and Katie were Christians and that, one day, he would see them again in heaven. Still, his heart was heavy at the loss. All their lives, until Harv moved away, they’d been best friends as well as brothers. Their parents had died five years ago, and now Harv was gone, too. Raymond was all the family Dennis had left.
He yawned again and brushed his cheek on the top of Raymond’s fuzzy head. Dennis was exhausted, but Raymond was wide-awake.
In addition to waving his arms around and kicking his tiny legs, something about the flickering glow from the woodstove held Raymond’s attention. Since Dennis no longer had the energy to keep Raymond occupied, he just held Raymond in his lap, letting him watch the flame.
“He’ll go to sleep soon, right?” he mumbled through another yawn.
“Maybe, maybe not. They’ve both been awake for a while. I know Rachel usually falls asleep after I feed her in the evenings.
Dennis could barely keep his eyes open, so he was ready to try anything. “Let’s try that then, if you don’t mind. I’m really beat.”
“It helps if you change them before you feed them, because then babies stay sleepy after they eat, and it’s easier to get them to settle down.”
He nodded, and they carried both babies to the quilt, still on the floor near the fire. Dennis carefully snipped the duct tape off the diaper and tucked a clean one under Raymond’s bottom. He was just about to apply the baby powder when Adelle spoke.
“You’ve got the diaper wrong side up, again.”
He mumbled his thanks, turned it around, then lifted Raymond’s bottom, ready for a second attempt to apply the powder, but she spoke again.
“You really don’t have to use much powder. And if you sprinkle it from closer, it won’t pouf all over the place, and then you’ll have no trouble getting the tape to stick. See? Like this.”
“Oh. Thanks.”
Dennis gritted his teeth while he applied what he hoped was the correct amount of powder. He was counting on help from his married friends when he got Raymond home, including the art of changing diapers, until he could figure out suitable daycare arrangements. He had also unrealistically hoped that Joanna would assume a portion of the responsibility, but her response before the phone went dead only confirmed what he should have accepted before he left.
She had been more than willing to accept the perks and benefits of his lifestyle and financial status. However, now that partnership with him involved some sacrifice to the easy future she expected, he could see her true colors. And he didn’t like them. Whatever relationship they had was over.
He was still working on the goofy little baby undershirt when Adelle picked Rachel up, completely dressed and ready to be fed. He felt more inept than ever.
“Don’t feel bad, Dennis. Remember. I’ve had a month at this. Give it a week, and you’ll be an expert at changing babies. With or without the duct tape.”
Her little grin did funny things to his stomach, but he attributed it to being over-tired.
Fortunately, this time Raymond wasn’t screaming in his face while Dennis waited for the bottle to heat up. As before, Adelle came out of the bedroom with a very tired Rachel when Raymond was only halfway through the bottle.
“Watch me,” Adelle said quietly. She sat beside him and sat Rachel on her knee, supporting her head between the ‘V’ of her thumb and index finger. Rachel was all scrunched up and didn’t look at all comfortable, but she wasn’t complaining. “This is how you burp a baby. See how I’m supporting her head? And see how she’s leaning forward on my hand?”
Dennis nodded. It wasn’t the way he’d been shown, but what he’d been doing hadn’t exactly worked very well, and he didn’t want to repeat his earlier experience. Not only had he already embarrassed himself enough for one day, but he only had two more shirts in his suitcase.
“If she spits up anything with the burp, it will be on the floor instead of me. If this was a carpet instead of linoleum, I would have a receiving blanket or a towel tucked under her, so if she spit up, she’d spit up on that.”
When she was finished speaking, Adelle gently patted Rachel on the back until Rachel let out a contented little baby burp.
“There. See?”
Adelle gathered her baby up, tucked her into a tight bundle inside a receiving blanket, and gave her a cuddle. Rachel was sleeping before Raymond was finished with his bottle. Adelle carried Rachel to the playpen and settled her in.
“I think Raymond will be asleep soon, too, so we should figure out sleeping arrangements for ourselves. There are only two beds here, one in the bedroom, and the couch, which is a hide-a-bed.”
He’d never slept on a hide-a-bed, but he knew people complained about them being uncomfortable. However, after being given shelter from the raging blizzard, everything else was a bonus, including a soft surface to sleep on. “I’ll take the hide-a-bed. I’m sure the bed in the bedroom will be more comfortable, and you deserve it. And please, don’t argue with me, I insist.”
“I’m too tired to argue anyway.”
To his dismay, she hung around to watch as he burped Raymond the way she had shown him. He couldn’t quite get the hang of it, so she had to pick Raymond up by his armpits to help position him properly.
“The trick is to support him with one hand, so you can pat him with the other.”
Between the two of them, they maneuvered Raymond into what she termed the right position. Then, to his horror, she let him go. Surprisingly, Dennis really did have Raymond balanced properly.
“This doesn’t look or feel right.”
“Don’t worry. The point is that it works. One of the elderly ladies in my church showed me this. Now burp him.”
Very gently, he patted Raymond’s tiny back until a burp resounded. Thankfully, it was a dry one.
“There! See?”
“I guess I can’t argue with success.”
Before Raymond became fully alert, Dennis laid him on the couch and tried to tuck him into a blanket. He tried three times to wrap him properly, but the cover wouldn’t stay snug.
“Would you like me to do that for you?”
“If you don’t mind.”
In seconds flat, she had the blanket snugly around Raymond. In the time it took to walk the few steps to the playpen, Raymond was asleep.
Without speaking, Dennis unfolded the mattress out of the hide-a-bed as quietly as possible. He accepted the sheets, blankets, and a pillow, and whispered insistently that he would make his own bed. After a murmured, “good night,” Adelle disappeared into the bedroom with a similar pile, and the door closed.
&nbs
p; ❧
Adelle dreamed of a baby crying way off in the distance. She didn’t have to worry. It was far away, and her fuzzy brain told her it was the television.
Suddenly, Adelle jerked her head up and blinked. Complete blackness surrounded her, but the muffled baby cries didn’t end. It took her a couple of seconds to realize that she wasn’t at home. She was in the cabin bedroom and the door was closed. Rachel’s crib was not beside her bed. Rachel was in the living room in the playpen next to the woodstove.
And that meant Dennis Bancroft was also beside the wood-stove on the hide-a-bed. Where she should have been.
Quickly, she slipped her feet into her fuzzy slippers, which were as cold as the room since the closed door shut off her heat source. She ran her hands over her sweat suit in a fruitless effort to rub out the slept-in wrinkles. Then, she stumbled to the playpen.
Not only was Rachel awake, but Raymond was crying, too. Dennis was sitting on the edge of his bed. First he shook his head, then rubbed both fists over his eyes.
“What time is it?” he asked through a yawn.
Adelle tilted her watch toward the muted light of the woodstove. “It looks like it’s about five. Right on time.”
The crying increased in volume as they both leaned into the playpen to lift their respective babies.
“I guess they’re hungry,” he murmured.
She didn’t think he really expected an answer, so she didn’t comment.
Adelle carried Rachel back to the bedroom with her, while Dennis headed to the kitchen with Raymond.
While Rachel nursed contentedly, she could hear Dennis fumbling about in the kitchen and Raymond fretting in his own little baby way.
She’d been told that formula-fed babies often slept through the night sooner, but Adelle wasn’t going to change her mind about breast-feeding Rachel, even if it did mean less sleep for a while longer. She had no idea if Raymond slept through the night, as some babies did. It was her fear that Rachel’s cries woke Raymond, rather than a full case of hunger.
Finally, at about the time she switched sides with Rachel, Raymond suddenly quieted.
Adelle smiled. This was the third time Dennis had prepared a bottle the old-fashioned way, rather than in the micro-wave like he had been doing previously, and she was sure he had already improved.
When Rachel was finished feeding, she fell asleep and Adelle tucked her back into the playpen. Whispering a goodnight to Dennis, who looked like he was struggling to keep his eyes open while Raymond drank his bottle, she tiptoed back to bed.
❧
The morning didn’t bring the sunshine she wanted for her Christmas vacation. The wind had stopped, but the snow continued to fall heavily, just as the Weather Advisory had predicted.
Adelle stood at the window with Rachel in her arms, surveying the property. The gusts from yesterday had piled the snow high against the tool shed door. She’d been so distracted with Dennis being there that she hadn’t thought to get the shovel out while she could open the shed without much digging. Now the only way to get the snow shovel was to dig through the massive snowdrift by hand. The woodpile against the shed wall was also covered with snow, but fortunately they had enough wood inside to last for days.
An ever-increasing pristine blanket of white evenly covered everything on the property, including her car.
Layers of snow decorated the tall pine trees, all but shouting the majestic beauty of God’s creation. This quiet grandeur of God’s handiwork was the authentic version of what the department stores attempted to artistically recreate in their Christmas displays. The real thing was far more impressive and didn’t cost a dime.
Inside, all was safe and warm, but she would have felt more peaceful if her aunt and uncle were with her, rather than a stranger. Granted, she did feel less uncomfortable with him today than when they first arrived. By his actions, he appeared to be exactly as he claimed, and she couldn’t help but feel sorry for him.
As if he knew she was thinking about him, Dennis appeared beside her, his attention also fixed outside.
The dark circles under his eyes told her what she wanted to know, but decorum dictated she should be polite and ask anyway. “Good morning, Dennis. Did you sleep well?”
He smiled politely. “I slept well, but not long enough. I guess it’s something I’ll get used to, like every other new parent. Can we turn on the radio? I’d like to hear an update on the forecast.”
They continued looking out the window while the music played in the background.
“It never snows like this in Vancouver. Sometimes a whole winter goes by and it doesn’t snow at all. When it does, it melts quickly. In fact, most of the time it doesn’t even stay on the ground. It’s kind of a wet slush. You can’t even call it real snow. This is really pretty.”
“It can be very beautiful, but the snow can also be dangerous. You have to treat it with respect.”
“I think I found that out the hard way.”
They stood in silence watching the snow fall. After a few songs, the announcer made a bad joke about a very white Christmas, but nothing was mentioned about the forecast.
“What do you think? Will the snow continue for another day and a half?”
Adelle nodded. “It’s possible. It’s happened before, but it’s bad timing to have it happen at Christmas. Usually we don’t get a blizzard like this until later in the season.”
“Will the phone and electricity be fixed soon?”
She sighed. “I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but since this area is so remote, it’s all but deserted this time of year. It’s likely that no one knows it’s out. And even if they did know, they’re not going to risk the lives of their crew to fix it during the blizzard.
“You mean we could be without power or phone until Christmas Day, and no one would know?”
She kept her gaze fixed out the window. “That’s exactly what I mean.”
❧
A wave of dread hit Dennis so strongly, he felt his stomach lunge.
He wished he could pinch himself and awaken from this nightmare, but he knew the situation was very real. So, he prayed for a miracle. Actually, he prayed for many miracles: first that the phone service would be restored; secondly, that the snow would stop; and thirdly, that somehow, he could find a way to get home quickly.
“I put a pot of water on top of the woodstove earlier. I figured that instead of having to use so much propane every time we need warm water, we can use the woodstove, since it’s a never-ending source of heat. I’m going to need lots of warm water soon, because I bathe Rachel every morning. Do you have a routine in place yet?”
He tried to keep the cynicism out of his voice. “Are you kidding? I’ve never bathed him, never mind set a routine in place. I had planned to be home yesterday, where I would have help with all this stuff, and someone who knew what they were doing.”
What he had planned was for Joanna to help him. He knew she didn’t have much more experience with babies than he did, but between the two of them, and perhaps a part time nanny, he thought they could manage. After all, they were formally engaged. Or at least they had been, until yesterday.
Their families had lived next door to each other since before he could remember. They had played together as children, dated as teens, and continued their relationship as adults. When Dennis found himself approaching thirty years old and still single, Joanna had suggested that it was time to get married, and at the time, he thought it was a good idea. All their friends thought it was natural when they announced their engagement.
Since they had been a part of each other’s lives since childhood, Dennis thought that although he didn’t feel the sparks and fireworks of love and romance shown in the movies, that didn’t mean they weren’t right for each other. It only meant such things were highly overrated.
Now he looked at it from a different perspective. He’d dated a few women besides Joanna, but none of them ever lasted. Joanna had always managed to show him some fault he had
n’t been aware of, or she convinced him that he didn’t need anyone else because he had her. He’d been so busy with his business he hadn’t realized until now that he was being manipulated.
She was more than eager to share in the benefits of his business and his successes, but accepting responsibility for his nephew was work and raising a child would cut into her social life.
Dennis stared out into the snow without really seeing it. Joanna didn’t really love him. She was just using him in order to have a privileged future. If he had to think about it, he didn’t love her either. He was more accustomed to her constant presence than feeling any deep emotional need to share his life with her.
When he thought of the traits a partner perfect for him would have, in hindsight, Joanna didn’t posses many. Her selfishness in refusing to help with Raymond stung. Joanna had been the first person he’d called when Harv died. She’d expressed her regrets, and then when he told her he now had legal guardianship of Raymond, instead of sympathy for an orphaned infant, she became adamant that she wasn’t going to raise someone else’s baby. He had been in such shock that he didn’t want to argue with her, but she’d pressed on to make him choose between her and the baby.
In the past he’d always caved in to her because nothing she’d ever asked had been that important, or at least he hadn’t thought so. It stunned him to think that she thought she had the power to influence him to abandon a baby—the only family he had left.
He praised God he had been able to see what was happening before it was too late. Even if it meant that he would be a single dad by default, it was better than marriage to someone who only wanted him for the material gain and comfortable lifestyle he could provide.
“Dennis?”
He blinked and turned to Adelle, who was looking at him as if she expected him to say something.
“I’m sorry. I was thinking about something else. Did you ask me something?”
Her cheeks flushed. “I asked if you wanted to watch me bathe Rachel. The same lady who showed me how to burp Rachel also gave me the handiest thing for bathing a baby. I just know you’ll want one.”