by Gail Sattler
He put his ear to the door and thought he heard a slight creak of the bed moving, but not enough to indicate that she had actually gotten up.
He tapped again, louder this time. “Adelle? I’ve got Rachel. . .”
This time, he didn’t hear a thing, but he couldn’t be absolutely certain because Rachel was starting to whimper.
Rather than let Rachel scream, Dennis sucked in a deep breath, opened the door, and poked his head in. “Adelle? Rachel wants you.”
The room was in total blackness, and it caught him off guard since he was accustomed to the muted glow coming from the woodstove. A gasp sounded from what he assumed was the direction of the bed.
“It’s only me. I’ve got Rachel. She started to fuss. She wants you.”
The bed creaked, and Adelle’s voice came from a bit closer. “Here. I’ll take her. Thank you.”
He couldn’t see her, but suddenly the weight of Rachel was lifted out of his arms.
Quickly, he backed up a step, closed the door behind him, and hustled back to his own bed. He lay down, but his heart pounded in his chest. He’d only had the best of intentions, but he knew he had crossed some kind of personal line, and the guilt roared through him. For a married couple to hand a baby back and forth in the bedroom was a different set of rules. He wondered what it would be like to be so familiar and so comfortable with someone that such things were commonplace.
By the time Adelle returned with Rachel, he still wasn’t sleeping, but he didn’t move so she would think he was. She changed the baby with such tender care that Rachel didn’t wake up. Then delicately, Adelle lowered the infant into the playpen. Before she returned to the bedroom, she ran her fingers along the top of Raymond’s fuzzy little head, straightened the blanket he’d used to prop Raymond up on his side, and covered him up again.
“Goodnight, little darlings,” she whispered.
Dennis imagined she’d spoken the same gentle endearment to him and he felt himself drifting into sleep as her bedroom door closed.
❧
This time, Dennis didn’t try to roll over and go back to sleep when Adelle disappeared with Rachel. Raymond was wide-awake, and not because of hunger. It was daylight. He tried to ignore the squawking while he folded the bed back into the sofa. When he was finally done, he picked Raymond up and waited on the couch.
He stood when she returned. “Merry Christmas.”
She smiled back. “And a Merry Christmas to you.”
Heaven help him, he wanted to kiss her. He didn’t need a gift under the tree. A kiss from Adelle would have been present enough.
Dennis tried to push the thought aside as he squatted beside the tree and rested Raymond into the car seat. “It’s a man’s job to hand out Christmas presents.”
Adelle nodded and sat cross-legged beside Raymond with Rachel nestled in her lap. “That must be true. My dad hands out the presents when he’s here, and when he isn’t, Uncle Bob does it.”
He picked up the soft, squishy, cylindrical gift with a name-tag for Rachel. It had a hard lump near the top and the contents divided from a single mass into two long portions about two thirds of the way down. When he squeezed it, the contents giggled and said, “I love you.” Dennis grinned and shook his head in mock disbelief. “She’ll never be able to tell what this is, Adelle.”
She laughed, and it was a wonderful sound. “Never mind. It didn’t come in a box, and I didn’t have one that size.”
She held out her hands, but Dennis suspended the gift in the air over his head. “This isn’t for you to open. It’s for Rachel.” He held it in the air in front of Rachel. Rachel gurgled and kicked her little legs.
Adelle harumphed and held out one hand, palm up. “Get real.”
“Listen. Can’t you hear her? She’s asking for my help to open it.”
Adelle rolled her eyes and sighed.
Very gently, Dennis pressed the present against Rachel’s tummy to tickle her. She squealed and waved her arms, smacking the gift a few times.
Dennis very slowly ripped a piece of paper from it.
Adelle reached for the package, but Dennis yanked it away, again holding it over his head. “Patience is a virtue.”
“I give up. Do it your way. Take your time. It’s not like there are dozens of gifts. I only bought her one this year because I knew she wouldn’t know the difference to open anything. Besides, when I did my shopping, I wasn’t sure how much room I’d have in the car.”
He took his time pulling off the paper, then gently laid the teddy bear on Rachel’s tummy. She swatted it with her jerky movements, the same as before he’d unwrapped it.
“I think she likes it. After all, every girl needs a pink teddy bear.”
Adelle’s eyes narrowed. “Are you making fun of my selection? There were tons of Christmas bears with hats and scarves, and lots that said “Baby’s First Christmas” on them, but I liked the pink one best.”
“It’s cute. Really. I’ve just never seen a pink bear before.”
Before he realized what she was doing, she grabbed Raymond’s present out from under the tree.
She grinned. “Turnabout is fair play.”
Just as he had done, she held out the present in front of Raymond until he managed to touch it with his jerky movements. He didn’t know it was possible, but Adelle picked the paper off even more slowly than he had.
Dennis groaned. “Why do women do that? They always pick off the tape. It’s not like you’re ever going to re-use the paper.”
“It’s a law of nature—the way life was meant to be.”
She laid a tiny pacifier with a candy cane pictured on it in Raymond’s lap. “This is really cute. I’ve never seen one like this before. But then, we don’t have as big a selection as the bigger cities.”
They both looked at the last present under the tree, the one for her aunt and uncle.
“I guess I’ll take it home when I can get out of here and just give it to them later. I suppose your presents are all at home, too.”
“Yes. I thought I’d be home on Christmas morning. What about presents for you and Rachel from your parents and your brother? Don’t you exchange gifts?”
“Yes, we do. But since I knew I’d be lugging so much baby stuff up here this year, all those presents were at Aunt Min and Uncle Bob’s house, and they were going to bring them. I think half my little car was filled with just diapers.
Dennis gritted his teeth. Pink diapers. Diapers which he was now going to be using up. “I wish I had a gift for you under the tree.” All he had to give was the money in his wallet, which was useless at the moment. Worse than being useless for any of his current needs, he knew that if he attempted to give her money, she’d be terribly insulted.
“Don’t be silly, Dennis. I’m just glad you’re here with me. I didn’t know it at the time I picked you up, but if you hadn’t been there, I would have had a very lonely and probably a very scary Christmas here all by myself. Your presence and friendship for this Christmas has been a lovely gift. And after having said that, I wish I had a gift for you, too.”
She smiled so sweetly that if he hadn’t been a man, he might have choked up.
Dennis swallowed hard. “What you’ve done for me and Raymond is a gift beyond any material thing that could have been wrapped and put under a tree. I know you told me not to thank you, but there’s no way I’ll ever be able to repay you for this.”
“Well, then isn’t that the best gift of all? A gift isn’t meant to be repaid. It’s simply a gift. Just like the gift of God’s Son, which is what we’re celebrating today.”
Now he really felt all choked up, and he couldn’t stop it this time. He forced himself to smile politely. “Yeah. You’re right,” he said in a monotone. He stood and walked to the window, not that he needed to see what was going on outside, but because he didn’t want her to see his face until he got himself under control.
She joined him at the window, which wasn’t exactly what he wanted. She held Rachel cradled against her, alon
g with the new teddy bear. “It looks like the snow is starting to lighten up, like the forecast said.”
“Yeah,” he mumbled.
“I wonder how much snow has fallen in town, if it’s as much as here.”
“I dunno.”
“I doubt they’ll call the snowplows out today except for the major roads and highways, but tomorrow they should be able to start digging everything out.”
“Probably.”
“You might even be able to go home by the day after tomorrow, if all goes well. That’s assuming the phone comes back sometime soon. Then you can make arrangements to have someone come and get you.”
“I guess.” Strangely, he didn’t want to go. He knew it was unrealistic to want to stay. They only had a limited supply of food and diapers. Even when the power came back, which eventually it would, they still wouldn’t really have anything to do without television and only one radio station up here in the middle of nowhere. Yet even with the lack of things to amuse them, he hadn’t been bored for a single moment.
He turned to watch Adelle as she stared at the snow out the window and he realized that the main reason he wasn’t ready to go home was because he might never see her again.
She spoke, but continued to gaze out the window. “One thing I always love about being here is when it snows. A pure layer of white covers all the tracks and dirt and bad things. It’s so clean and beautiful. Especially at Christmas.” She turned her head and smiled. “Merry Christmas, Dennis.”
He was going to wish her a Merry Christmas as well, but the words caught in his throat. Her smile warmed his heart and made it pound at the same time. Her eyes radiated the same inner beauty that had hit him the day before, when he kissed her. He longed to kiss her again. Only this time, he knew what would happen and how good it would be.
And this time it would be harder to stop.
Rachel made a little squeal, reminding him that the woman he wanted to kiss had a baby in her arms. The baby was as effective as any shield—he wasn’t going to kiss a woman over the top of a baby’s head. In the circumstances in which they found themselves, he shouldn’t be kissing her at all.
He’d crossed the line twice already. Once by kissing her the first time and the other by walking in on her when she was sleeping. Both times his reaction had caught him off guard. This time he knew what would happen, and it scared him. His heart was getting too involved with a wonderful woman with whom there could be no future.
He wanted to kiss her, but he knew he shouldn’t start something he couldn’t finish.
She was still looking up at him, with the same dreamy expression.
“Merry Christmas, Adelle. I’m starving. What’s for breakfast?”
In a split second, he turned on his heel and strode into the kitchen.
Twelve
In the time it took Adelle to blink, he was gone. She tried to think of what she could have said that caused him to react so strangely, but all she’d done was wish him a Merry Christmas.
She pushed aside her bruised feelings, and joined Dennis in the kitchen. “I’m hungry, too. Christmas morning, after we open the presents we always have omelets for breakfast. Then we’re so stuffed we skip lunch, and have an early Christmas dinner mid-afternoon.”
“It must be good to have so many traditions.”
“Traditions?” She tried to think of all the things she had told him that usually happened in her family on Christmas morning. “I don’t know if I’d go so far to call them traditions. More than anything, they are just habits we’ve fallen into over the years. I think the reason the omelets happen every Christmas morning is not for tradition, but because a set menu makes the grocery shopping easier.”
“Whatever the reason, it’s nice to be able to look forward to the same good times every year. I guess I’m going to have to start thinking of some traditions to do with Raymond as he grows up. Your moving nativity set is a great idea, but I think I’m going to like the omelets for breakfast the best.”
He gave her a little grin, and something funny happened inside her stomach, which told her that she must have been hungrier than she thought.
“What do you want to do, hold Rachel or make the omelets?”
“I’ve never made an omelet in my life. I think I’ll take Rachel.”
“You’ve never made an omelet?” The more she thought about it, aside from making spaghetti and frying eggs, he didn’t seem to be able to do anything else in the kitchen unless it somehow involved the microwave. “Just what do you feed yourself every day?”
He didn’t look at her as he spoke, but became overly interested in the nose on the pink teddy bear. “I get by. I’m obviously not starving.”
The image of Dennis running through the cabin without a shirt flashed through her mind. Whatever he did eat sat well on him. Unlike herself. She’d gained some weight during her pregnancy, and it wasn’t coming off as easily as it went on. She obviously wasn’t starving either, but she wasn’t going to comment.
About halfway through the preparation, Raymond started to squawk. So, Dennis deserted her for the couch and sat with both babies in his lap until she had the food on the table. After a short prayer, they began to eat—both holding babies in their laps.
“I have a bad feeling that I’m going to get really good at eating with one hand.”
“Either that, or you’ll learn to run your life by a baby’s feeding schedule, which is always changing. As soon as you get used to the bottle schedule, babies start on rice cereal, and then not long after that you start them on baby food, and then more and more real food.”
“Culminating with when they get to be teenagers, and start eating us out of house and home.”
“Maybe for you. I have a girl. That’s not going to happen to me.”
“No. You’ll have to get an extra room built onto your house to store all the shoes.”
“And you’ll have to hide the car keys or get your own private gas pump.”
They both laughed, and the banter continued throughout the entire mealtime. She couldn’t remember the last time she’d enjoyed herself so much at the table.
Immediately after they were done, she took Raymond to be fed while Dennis did the dishes. Part of her wanted to tease him concerning his comment yesterday about being free of kitchen duties on Christmas Day, but the wiser part of her told her to leave well enough alone.
She could have sat on the couch while he bathed Raymond, but she didn’t. Likewise, when she bathed Rachel, he held Raymond and remained in the kitchen.
When the time came for them to leave, Adelle knew, without a doubt, that she would miss Raymond. But she fought the idea that she probably would miss Dennis, too. She didn’t know if that was good or bad, and refused to think about it any more.
By the time both babies fell asleep in the afternoon, Adelle was tired. In a backhanded sort of way, she was thankful that most of the ingredients for their planned Christmas dinner weren’t there. If they were, then she would have had to work to cook it. Now she no longer had to worry about preparing a fancy meal. If it wasn’t for Dennis, at this point, she would have been satisfied with a hot dog for Christmas dinner.
She put the ham and a yam in the oven, lit the pilot light, and joined Dennis on the couch.
Resting her elbows on her knees and leaning forward, she gazed into the playpen at the sleeping babies. “They sure are sweet, aren’t they?”
Dennis arched his back, pushing into the back of the couch with his shoulders as he stretched. He extended both arms along the top of the couch, then sagged with his legs extended in front of him. “Yes, they’re sweet, but they’re even sweeter when they’re sleeping.”
A yawn escaped, and she made no effort to hide it. She no longer had the energy. “I don’t know how mothers of twins do this. It’s only been two days, and I’m exhausted.”
“Most mothers of twins have electricity, and supplemental formula. Have I told you recently how much I appreciate what you’re doing?”
Adelle turned her head. “Dennis. . .”
He grinned then let the corners of his mouth drop. “Sorry.”
She refused to comment, unsure if he was goading her, or if it just happened that he was again apologizing for something without thinking of his promise.
It became too much effort to hold herself up in that position, so she leaned back on the couch, despite Dennis being sprawled all over the place. She even ignored the light touch of his fingertips on her shoulder. She was too tired to care. She was even too tired to turn her head as she spoke. “It’s too bad they won’t remember this. If they were a little older, this would be quite an adventure for a little kid.”
“Never mind little kids. It’s been quite an adventure for me, and I’m an adult. If only I had more suitable clothes and my camera, I could get some good mileage out of this.”
The warmth of the woodstove relaxed Adelle from head to toe. She nestled into the soft couch, ignoring the fact that her head was now resting on Dennis’s arm. “I still think it’s fun to play in the snow, and I was born and raised here.”
His fingers drifted down to her shoulder. “Back home, I have to admit that we don’t get dressed up to go outside and play in the rain. We tend to ignore it unless it’s pouring, but still, I spend most of the winter indoors.”
“My uncle Bob said he was going to build Rachel a special toboggan when she gets a little bigger.”
“And I’ll probably buy an umbrella with cartoon characters on it for Raymond.”
She smiled up at him, and when she did, he closed his hand on her shoulder and pulled her closer so that she was nestled into him. He was warm, and being with him on the couch next to the stove with the snow falling outside felt comfortable in a way she had never experienced. She’d never had a man hold her close like this. He made no effort to kiss her or do anything other than just sit together. It felt good, and it felt right.
His fingers brushed her hair, and with the gentle touch, she allowed her eyes to drift shut.
“You look tired,” he murmured in her ear.
“I am,” she sighed, then snuggled into his warmth. She probably should have opened her eyes, but she couldn’t.