“What?” she exclaimed. She’d expected an attempt to persuade her, not an autocratic refusal.
“I will not have others dictate who I choose to be with, nor should you.”
“It is not a question of anyone governing my actions. It’s a question of propriety,” she said with apathy. “I’m too old for you.”
“And yet you agreed to be my mistress knowing full well that I was younger than you. You just didn’t know by how much,” he said with a savage intensity as he closed the space between them.
“Don’t you dare lay the blame for this evening at my feet,” she bit out, holding her ground despite the sudden urge to run.
There was far more truth in his statement than she cared to admit, and it made it harder for her to ignore her body’s reaction to his close proximity. Every part of her was suddenly on fire, making it difficult to ignore his delicious male scent, or worse, the tug of desire she felt winding its way through her. Resignation and regret twisted his lips into a thin line.
“No. I take full blame for tonight. If I could take it back, spare you the humiliation, I would. But I can’t.”
“Then spare me any further humiliation and find a new mistress,” she whispered as the full impact of him on her senses threatened to make her give way to the apology in his voice.
“I don’t want another mistress,” he growled. “I want you.”
Despite her desire not to feel anything, the possessive note in his voice sent a shiver of arousal down her back. She shook her head in silent protest, and this time she did retreat. He didn’t give her the chance to widen the distance between them. With lightning speed, his hand grasped her arm, and he pulled her into his arms. The moment his mouth covered hers, the fire of his kiss made her body melt into his without any resistance whatsoever.
Heat pulsed its way wildly through her veins with a speed that startled her. Her heart rejoiced at his touch, rejecting the warnings in the back of her mind as she yielded to the passion spinning a web of delight across her skin. His lips teased and cajoled a fiery response from her, and she moaned softly as his mouth skimmed its way along her jawline to her ear.
“Do you have any idea how exquisite you are?” His breath was a sinful heat against her ear, while his honeyed voice made her legs weaken. “No matter how old you become, your beauty will never fade. You’re timeless in a way other women can only dream of.”
The intense desire threading through his words made her sex tighten in a tactile response that was so strong it was as if he’d physically stroked her. She drew in a sharp breath hoping to hide her reaction to him, but something in his gaze warned her that he knew exactly what she was feeling. Desperately she reminded herself that he’d deceived her—that twelve years was too great a divide between them.
But it was almost impossible to remember anything but the pleasure of his touch when she was still reeling from his kiss. It was even more difficult when he was looking at her as if he wanted to devour her. A voice deep inside her fought to reject logic and urged her to take even the smallest bit of happiness she could find with him. It would be a foolish thing to do.
If she thought her heart was breaking now, it wouldn’t survive when he left her in the future. The knot in her throat threatened to choke her as she met his smoldering look. His gaze suddenly narrowed as if he realized she was struggling not to give way to him.
She tried to calm her racing heartbeat as she forced herself to go rigid in his embrace. She was on the verge of succumbing to him, and if she allowed him to see it, he would press her until she surrendered.
“Timeless is such a pretty word. Unfortunately it’s wasted on me.”
“Is it?” he rasped. “Your lips say one thing, Ruth, but your body says something completely different.”
The intensity in his voice made her mouth go dry with fear as she stared up into his astute gaze. Dear God, had he surmised the truth? No. He couldn’t have. He would have used the knowledge to his advantage if he suspected she cared for him. Perhaps he fancied himself in love with her. The thought made her heart squeeze painfully in her chest.
It made sense he might be infatuated with her. She was the first woman he’d ever been with. But that wasn’t the same thing as the type of love she felt for him. Even if he did feel a deep affection for her, she would never be able to reconcile herself to the difference in their ages.
She met his gaze and saw the resolute gleam in his blue eyes. He truly thought she would give in to him. If she didn’t break with him now, he would have his way. She had little choice but to drive him away by any means possible, no matter how cruel.
“And you forget that I am trained to respond when a man caresses me. Any man,” she said coldly as she pushed her way out of his suddenly lifeless arms. “You were special because you afforded me the opportunity to teach, rather than perform the usual tricks of my trade.”
The heartless words made his head snap back as if she’d hit him. He looked stunned, and her muscles tightened as she fought not to rush forward and beg his forgiveness for her cruel words. In the blink of an eye, his facial expression became cold and empty.
Even the angular planes of his face were drawn tight until the muscles in his jaw were hard and inflexible. The withering look he directed at her drove an icy shard into her heart. With what little self-control she had left, she struggled not to cry out in pain at the contempt in his blue eyes. He took a rigid step back from her and bowed.
“Then I shall not stand in the way of you performing your trade, my lady.”
The scorn in his voice made the insult all the more agonizing. Without another word, he turned and walked out of the salon, the door closing quietly behind him. Rooted in place, she stared after him as the numbness returned. Slowly, she sank to the floor, her arms wrapped around her waist as a cold weariness settled into her limbs. Only one other time in her life had she ever felt so lost as to which way to turn. A tear rolled down her cheek. In the back of her mind, a voice screamed at her to go after him. She ignored it. Another tear landed on her arm as the ache in her chest spread its way into every part of her. The only other man to break her heart was her father, but the pain of losing Garrick was far greater. Unlike her father’s abandonment, Garrick’s departure bit down into her soul in a way that said she would never be whole again. The tears flowed hot and heavy down her cheeks. It was as if she’d awakened to find it was nighttime, only to realize dawn would never come again. Garrick had been right. Her age was little more than a number. She wasn’t afraid of growing old. Her biggest fear was realizing she would never know what it was to be loved.
Ruth stared down at the paperwork in front of her. She’d been sitting inside St. Agnes’s small office for the better part of the day. She’d yet to balance the orphanage’s books, despite her usually meticulous bookkeeping. She frowned at the numbers for another long moment, before she relented to the pressure in her head.
Her pencil falling onto the ledger in front of her, she closed her eyes and gently rubbed her throbbing temples. It had been more than a week since she’d broken off her liaison with Garrick, and every day had been a painful exercise in living. Invitations continued to be delivered, but she’d not accepted any for fear of seeing Garrick.
She was certain some people in the Set would find it amusing to ensure that the two of them were together in the same room, simply to see what might happen. Not even Allegra had been able to console her, although her friend was insistent that Ruth visit Pembroke Hall for an extended visit. She refused despite Allegra’s pleas.
She’d decided to close her town house, until a tenant could be found, and move to Crawley Hall. There was little reason for her to remain in town. The only thing to do now was finish up a few last-minute business matters related to St. Agnes’s. Lord Pembroke had provided her with the names of several strong candidates to attend to the orphanage’s daily operations when she was no longer in town.
The young man she’d finally settled on, James Turcot, was an a
ffable fellow. It was clear he enjoyed children, which meant he would do his best to see to their well-being, not just managing the books. She would still come to town for the quarterly meetings of the orphanage’s board, but the day-to-day task of running the business she would leave to James. He was due to start next week, and she’d already set Dolores to work in preparation for her move to Crawley Hall.
The pain in her head unabated, she retrieved her pencil to study the column of figures she’d yet to calculate properly. The sound of the office door opening made her raise her head, and she stiffened at the sight of the Viscount Tremaine. She immediately opened the desk drawer, her fingers sliding the small pistol out of her drawstring bag for ease of access.
Cunning filled the man’s smile, and she rose to her feet so she would not be at a disadvantage.
“Lord Tremaine,” she said coldly.
“My dear Lady Ruth. I’m delighted to see you again.”
“What do you want, my lord?” She didn’t care that she sounded rude. She neither liked nor trusted the man.
“Straight to the point. I like that in a woman.” His smile sent an icy finger skimming down her spine. “I have a proposition for you.”
“A proposition?” She arched her eyebrow at him in her haughtiest manner.
“Yes. I’ve learned that Stratfield is no longer your sponsor, and I thought we might get along nicely.”
She could not have been more stunned than if her father had walked into the orphanage to beg her forgiveness. The viscount was clearly amused as he sent her a mocking smile. He was a handsome man, but it was his mannerisms that made him unattractive. Collecting her wits, Ruth shook her head.
“While I am . . . flattered by your offer, I must decline.”
“I urge you not be too hasty in your decision, my dear lady. I think you should consider the far-reaching consequences of your decision.”
The man was gloating. There was no other word for it. She frowned in puzzlement. What sort of consequences could he be referring to? To her knowledge, he had never had anything to do with the orphanage. But what else could he be referring to?
“Consequences, my lord?”
“I’m referring to Stratfield.”
“I’m afraid I don’t understand. Lord Stratfield and I are no longer, as you said, involved.”
The viscount strolled forward, causing her fingers to slip into the desk drawer in search of the comforting ivory grip of her gun. The man’s gaze drifted down to where her hand was, and he smiled as he pointed to the chair facing the desk.
“Perhaps I should explain. May I?” He gestured toward the chair and she nodded then sat down as well. “Lord Stratfield and I are—how shall I put this—not the best of friends. Recently it’s come to light that the man has been attempting to bankrupt me, which I find most distressing.”
“Of course,” she murmured as he eyed her expectantly. The feral smile on his lips made her uncomfortable. The man looked like a wolf hunting its prey.
“However, I’ve acquired a unique piece of information that I believe will make Stratfield reconsider his efforts to meddle in my finances.” Something in the viscount’s manner chilled her, and she immediately feared for Garrick.
“How does any of this involve me?”
“While I’m certain the information I have is enough to persuade Stratfield not to tamper with my finances or that of my informant’s, I prefer to make the stakes a bit more painful for the baron.”
“Again, I fail to see how this affects me.” She folded her hands tightly in front of her and worked hard to keep her expression serene.
“I have it on excellent authority that you’re in love with the young baron.” At the man’s amused smile of confidence, her composure slipped.
“I . . . I don’t know what you’re talking about.” She could feel a knot swelling in her throat until it was difficult to breathe.
“It’s quite all right, my lady. Your secret is safe with me as long as you agree to help me.”
“If you think to blackmail me with the threat of announcing to the world that I have a tendré for Lord Stratfield then feel free to do so. It will do you no good,” she snapped. Infuriated that the man thought to use her in his attempt to injure Garrick, she sprang to her feet. “I’ve heard quite enough, my lord. I think it’s time you left.”
“You have a fiery spirit, my lady. I see we shall get along famously.”
“I think you’re delusional, Lord Tremaine, and I have no intention of accepting your patronage.” Furious, she wanted to shoot the man for even daring to blackmail her. Palms flat on the desk, she glared at him fiercely. “Now get out.”
“As you wish,” he said smoothly without moving from his chair. “Of course, I’m confident the papers will be delighted to receive word from the Lady R. regarding her recent liaison with Lord S. and how his lordship is minus a ballock. It will be the most sensational news they’ve printed in years.”
Ruth gasped in horror at the viscount’s words. How in God’s name did the man know about Garrick’s disfigurement? Garrick had paid his uncle to stay away from his family. For the first time, she wondered if what he’d really been doing was paying for the man’s silence. But how had Tremaine learned the truth? Did the man know Garrick’s uncle?
She sent up a fervent prayer that the bastard hadn’t found the woman who’d humiliated Garrick and learned the truth from her. Something told her the viscount would take pleasure in tormenting Garrick with such knowledge. But it was the thought of what Garrick would think when he read the papers that sickened her.
The public humiliation would be devastating for him. And if she didn’t do as Tremaine demanded she’d be responsible for his pain. She met Tremaine’s smug look in a state of shock as her knees threatened to give out beneath her. She loved Garrick, and she refused to let anyone humiliate him in such a fashion. She knew all too well what that type of mortification was like.
Slowly, she sank down into her chair. Think. She needed time to think. Time to figure out a way to beat this bastard at his own game. She wet her dry lips and lust swept across Tremaine’s features. She immediately regretted the action. Somehow she’d find a way out of this quagmire, she just wasn’t sure how. She sent her blackmailer a look of intense loathing.
“What makes you think I’ll agree to your blackmail scheme?” she bit out between clenched teeth.
“Because I understand people, Lady Ruth,” he said with a venomous smile. “You’re in love with Stratfield, and you’ll not betray his secret.”
“Even if what you say were true,” she said, refusing to confirm the man’s suspicions, “I fail to see how my participation in this scheme of yours serves any purpose where his lordship is concerned. Lord Stratfield holds me in contempt and has no interest in me at all.”
“Have you not read the papers of late, my dear?” Tremaine arched his eyebrows at her. “The young man has taken to drinking heavily and boxing with commoners. He bears all the signs of a man infatuated with a woman.”
Young man. The silent insult behind the words didn’t escape her. Despite his determination to make her his mistress, even Tremaine thought Garrick too young for her. The sudden image of Garrick drinking and fighting to excess made her heart skip a beat.
She’d not had the courage to read the papers for the past week, and she’d spent the majority of her time at the orphanage. The behavior the viscount described was clearly unlike Garrick. Was it possible he cared about her more than she’d given him credit for? No. If Garrick were in love with her, he would have found a way to try and change her mind. He was far too persistent not to do so.
“You have still not explained your reason to include me in your scheme.”
“There is a personal score to settle between you and me.” The viscount leaned forward, his gaze narrowing at her in a way that frightened her. “No one interferes in my personal business without consequences.”
“If you’re referring to Lady Lynmouth, it was clear to me th
e lady didn’t want your attentions.”
“I would have persuaded her otherwise, except you interfered.” There was a vicious note of anger in the viscount’s voice as he got to his feet. “I’ve decided to teach you a lesson, while ensuring my financial stability. Stratfield has been a thorn in my side for some time. I shall enjoy pointing out to him that only a real man, such as myself, could ever satisfy his one-time mistress.”
Dear Lord, what was she going to do? She had to find a way to let Garrick know what Tremaine was up to. The bastard strolled around the desk toward her. The smile on his lips didn’t reach his flat gaze as he pulled her to her feet.
“I think we have an understanding, don’t we, Lady Ruth?” His hand cupped her chin and forced her to look at him. “Stratfield will pay for my silence, and because you are my mistress, I shall maintain your secrets. Shall we seal our bargain with a kiss?”
She couldn’t remember ever being frightened of a man before, but she was of this one. His arm snaked around her waist and he tugged her against him. His lips met hers, and a shudder wracked her frame at the way her skin crawled from his touch. He wasn’t unskilled, but as his tongue probed her mouth, her stomach roiled. Dear God, how was she going to stand welcoming this man into her bed?
Garrick. She needed to remember this was all for Garrick. In the back of her head, she could hear the wonderful sound of his voice, and the viscount stiffened against her. As he stepped back from her, Tremaine turned his head and smiled. It was a terrible smile, and dread trailed a stream of icy water down her back and spread its way all over her body.
Her gaze followed the viscount’s, and the sight of Garrick standing in the center of the room made her heart shatter. His face was white with anger and something else she didn’t want to label for fear it would make her sob with misery.
17
Rage. It consumed him with a white-hot heat that threatened to obliterate his sense of reason. He’d wanted Tremaine dead for some time now, and perhaps today was the day to take care of the bastard. The man’s sneering smile only intensified the fury inside him. Fists clenched, he remained rooted where he stood, despite the urgent need to charge across the room and savagely rip the man apart.
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