“Everyone is different, Toni. But we all deserve love.”
“I’ll wait in the car,” Antonia said and turned around before Kayleigh had a chance to say anything to stop her.
She heard Kayleigh sigh and then walk in the other direction. She put her head down and headed for her car, trying not to cry. Why did she come here? Before all this, she was happy with her life. It wasn’t perfect but it was safe.
That thought hit her hard, leaving her winded. That was what she was doing, playing it safe, so safe that her life was boring. She had told Kayleigh she had friends, but really, she had acquaintances. Nothing more. Work colleagues whom she barely knew. Weekends were spent cleaning up and grocery shopping. Then she would read, choosing mystery novels to keep her brain active. She had tried romance novels, but the first two she read finished with a predictable happy ever after. So she abandoned them. They weren’t based on the real world and real relationships, where a happy ending was never guaranteed.
“Antonia.”
She spun around. There standing in front of her, only ten feet away, was Sam. Without thinking, she crossed her arms in front of her, trying to ward off the look on his face. He was devouring her body, his eyes roaming over her curves as she stood defiantly in front of him.
“I’m going to wait for Kayleigh in my car.”
“Why don’t you come into the house?”
Because I don’t trust you, or me, she wanted to say. Instead, she reasoned with him. “I don’t want to hinder you. You go and help Kayleigh. I can wait in the car.”
“I wanted to talk to you. Set things straight.”
“I don’t think that’s a good idea.”
“Won’t you even hear me out?”
“Listen. I know what you’re going to say. And I can’t just go along with this whole mate thing. If we were in high school it would make me think you were using it as an excuse to ...”
“Fuck you.”
The words were so raw. And so right. In her mind, she could imagine him ... fucking. After the strain of moving the tables around his muscles looked pumped up. And she wondered if anything else of his was pumped and engorged with blood. Her body reacted to those thoughts, her breasts feeling full and her nipples hardening. Whilst a warmth spread from her core to make her nerves tingle.
“That wasn’t exactly what I was thinking.”
“I’m sorry, that was a coarse phrase to use. But that’s what you think, isn’t it? That this is all some line that will end up with you in my bed.”
No. Don’t start thinking of his bed. She shivered at the thought of his hands roaming her body. What had gotten into her? He had. Or rather, thoughts of him.
Everything she had ever denied she wanted was standing there in front of her. A man who wanted to love her, when her life had been denied of every kind of love other than sisterly love. A man who wanted to settle down and have children with her, when she had sworn never to have children of her own.
Above all, a man who wanted to love her completely and unconditionally. Despite the fact that they had only just met and they knew nothing about each other.
Would it be so wrong to indulge in this fantasy for one night? To let him teach her what it was like to make love, to indulge in carnal pleasures?
“Is it all that you want?” She let her arms fall to her sides, allowing him in. He took a step closer.
“I’m not going to lie to you, Antonia. You are the only woman in the world that can satisfy me.”
Her breathing grew rapid. Those were words she had never expected to hear, ever. Let alone from a man like this. So tall, so strong and so incredibly sexy in his work clothes. There was nothing clean and proper about him. He wasn’t suited and booted like the men she worked with. He wore jeans that were worn with work. A shirt open at the collar, showing a sprinkling of hair, and boots that were rugged, like the man wearing them.
He was all male, and all hers, if she only held her hand out to him.
“I’m not the woman you think I am.”
“Yes, you are. I know you can feel the connection between us. Not as strongly as me. I get that. But you can feel something. Can’t you?”
“I don’t know what I feel.”
“Then explore it.” He closed the distance between them, all but one-step. “Take a chance, Antonia. I am here waiting for you.”
She knew what he wanted her to do. Take the final step towards him: it would be her decision, not his. Did she have the courage?
“Sam, this is madness. It’s not what I want.”
“Are you so sure that no part of you wants to find out what I have to offer you? Tell me that you’ll walk away and never regret it, and I’ll back off. But your body tells me you want to take a risk, and I don't think your body knows how to lie so convincingly.”
“And if I decide to walk away after I’ve taken a chance?”
“Then I’ll let you go.”
“Just like that?”
“Yes, Antonia. Just like that. I want to tame your heart, but I don’t want to break your spirit. I will never force you into something you don't want.”
She took that one-step forward, which could change her life forever. He didn’t speak; instead, he cupped her face in his large hands and leaned down to touch his lips to hers. Her hands gripped his shirt, keeping herself upright when her knees threatened to buckle under her.
The sensations flooding her body were intense. Opening her mouth, she allowed him to push his tongue inside her and taste her. He groaned and their kiss deepened, one of his hands wrapping around her waist and then sliding lower to the small of her back. He pressed her body hard against his, letting her feel his arousal.
Her sex ached for him. The need to feel him inside her was overwhelming. At this moment, if he asked her to, she would kneel before him like bitch on heat. As his mouth moved against hers, it took away her power to think coherently. And she didn’t care. In this moment she was consumed by a passion she thought she was incapable of experiencing. Sam was waking something inside of her that she had no idea existed. It was the need to be a woman, to be touched as only lovers do, and to be consumed by the flames of desire.
What happened between them might only last a night; his words about loving her forever might be just that. Words. Or he really might mean forever. Whichever it was, he was right. She couldn’t leave here without finding out—what if?
Chapter Fifteen – Sam
A rush of lust swept him away. He wanted her. His cock was so painfully hard, as he pressed against her, he was sure he would explode in his pants. The last twenty-four hours had been the most mentally demanding of his life. So many times in the night, he had wanted to go back to Daryl’s house and drag her body beneath his, no matter how much she struggled. His bear had constantly been clawing at his consciousness, leaving him mentally strained.
Now it all faded away. She was in his arms and he was going to make damn sure that was where she stayed. He would go to any length to make her happy and make her stay. But he knew it had to be her choice, it could never be by force. It was like taming a wild horse: too much force and you break the very thing that you found appealing.
She was so sweet on his tongue, and he probed deeper, exploring her mouth. His stomach knotted when he felt her first tentative steps of exploration. Her tongue pushing to meet him and entwine with his.
Her hands relaxed and the rest of her body followed. She placed her palms on his back and moved them slightly, rubbing them lightly over his shoulders and then further down. He wanted her so badly, his arms more than ready to pick her up and carry her off to his room. There he could lay her on his bed and take his time to undress her and acquaint himself with every inch of her body.
However, behind him he could hear his mom and Kayleigh walking towards them. Their voices mingled with their footsteps. He wanted to spare Antonia all the looks and questions that would arise if they were caught like this. They had taken one step forward; he didn’t want her to turn and run
away from him.
It took all of his strength to tear himself away from her soft lips. For a moment he hovered, a breath away from them, his eyes flickering over her face. She looked at him with dilated eyes, her arousal shockingly clear.
“I didn’t think you would want them to see us.”
“Who?”
He smiled. So his kiss had knocked the sense out of her. “Your sister and my mom. I thought it might make you feel uncomfortable if they saw us.”
“What?” Her eyes slid past him and then she took a step away from him, trying to look normal. But to him she looked incredibly sexy, in a state of wanton desire.
“Will you have dinner with me tonight?” he asked quickly.
“Yes,” she said and he felt a rush of hope. She hadn’t hesitated or tried to think of an excuse. Her thoughts towards him had changed. Hopefully for good. All he had to do was not blow it.
Chapter Sixteen – Antonia
Suddenly shy, she turned and walked back towards her car. She tried to look preoccupied while Ginny and Kayleigh walked up to Sam, chatting excitedly.
“Thank you for doing such a wonderful job in the barn,” Kayleigh said. “You must have been working all night.”
“Not exactly,” Sam said.
From the car, Antonia watched them talking. She studied the way Sam moved, trying to learn everything about him, to etch it into her memory. Why? Had she already planned on leaving?
If so, she wondered if she was being fair, leading him on and promising him she would come to dinner. In truth, she didn’t know what she wanted. Apart from to find out what it was like to be loved by a man.
“I’ll send Daryl over this evening to help you with the rest.”
“No.” Sam’s tone was sharp. “Sorry, I have plans for this evening.”
Ginny smiled, although she tried to hide the excitement in her voice. “With anyone particular?”
“Shall we go inside? I am more than ready for something to eat. Did you say you brought scones?” Sam said, changing the subject.
“Oh, yes. With homemade jam,” Ginny said, smiling at Sam and then looking directly at Antonia with knowing eyes. “Shall we go in, Antonia?” Ginny called. “I have some photographs Kayleigh said you might be interested in.”
“Sure,” Antonia said, feeling self-conscious. His mom had found out about her being Sam’s mate. Whether she had been told, or if she had guessed, it didn’t really matter. Soon she would be either a couple with Sam or she would leave; then everyone could gossip about her as much as they wanted to.
Right now, she was intrigued to see the inside of the farmhouse. To give her confidence, Kayleigh linked arms with her and they walked in together, following Sam who was talking to his mom.
Pulling them back a little bit, Kayleigh asked, “So did something happen?”
“Happen?”
“Yes. Between you and Sam; you looked a little flushed when we came out of the barn. I thought he might have upset you. But then when he said he was busy tonight I assumed that he had asked you out. And that you had said yes.”
“He asked me and I said yes. Now I’m wondering if that was the right thing to do.”
“Of course it was. Take a chance, Antonia. Please.”
“OK. Although I don’t know what we’ll talk about. I have no idea of what he does and I’m sure I’d bore him to death about my job.”
“Then don’t talk, just kiss.”
“Kayleigh! I only just met the guy, don’t you think we need to get to know each other?”
“There are many ways to get to know each other. Anyway I thought you had already been kissing.”
“You saw? Neither of you said.”
“I didn’t see. But it’s written all over your face. You look ... different.”
Antonia put her hand to her lips, trying to feel if the heat there was her imagination or if it was real. All she felt was sensitive, as though her nerves were on edge. Her body waiting to experience every sensation she had ever denied herself. “It’s just scary.”
“I know. But it’s worth it.” She dragged Antonia forward. “Come on. Sam’s mom is a wonderful baker. Let’s eat. You and Sam need to gain some energy ready for tonight.”
“Nothing is going to happen.”
“Let’s just say, I’ll leave the door on the latch and you can let yourself in if you come home.”
With that, Kayleigh let go of Antonia and ran off before her sister could answer. Pausing for one moment, Antonia tried to compose herself. All she could think about was that she might be about to step into her future home. Or she could be getting herself deeper and deeper into a mess she might not be able to get herself out of, no matter how hard she tried.
But she remembered Sam’s words. He had promised to never force her to do anything she didn’t want. All she could do was trust him, and herself.
“Here, try one of these, Antonia.” Ginny offered her a sandwich, which she accepted. It appeared Ginny had made lunch, enough for ten men. Now she had everything spread out on the table. It all looked delicious, but no one seemed to be eating too much. All of them were too nervous in their own way. Kayleigh about her wedding and Sam and Antonia about the evening ahead.
Ginny bustled on regardless, making sure everyone had food and drink. Then she fetched some photographs for them to all look at.
“Here, now I take it you know all about my sons?” Ginny asked Antonia before passing her the first photograph.
“Yes,” Antonia answered.
“And about the way they live a little bit longer than ordinary men?”
“You can say whatever you want in front of Antonia, Mom.”
“I wanted to check before I showed her these.” Ginny slid a photograph in front of Antonia. “This is me when Queen Victoria was on the throne.”
The picture, which looked totally authentic, was of a man and a woman dressed in Victorian clothes. They had that severe look that people always seemed to have at those times. Then she placed another photo in front of her. This time it was of the same woman, Ginny, with short hair and a flapper dress.
“I loved those days. We had quite a bit of money behind us and went to London quite often to indulge in city life. Dances, afternoon teas. It was the first time that women were beginning to be emancipated. It took a long time for your father to get his head around that idea. Didn’t it, Sam?”
“I’m not sure he ever has. You’ve just beaten him down into submission.”
Ginny laughed. “Sam never liked all that kind of thing, neither did Daryl. That’s why we settled with the farm. But their father and I never got to grips with it so we just let Sam take it over. Daryl worked here for a long time with you, didn’t he? Until he decided it was time he was self-sufficient. Then he took up roofing. He’s gone through thatch and then onto tiles as the times change. He’s very practical isn’t he, Kayleigh? You’re a lucky girl.”
“And you are biased, Mom.”
She looked indulgently at Sam. “I only want you both to be happy. You know that. I want you both to be as happy as me and your father have been.”
“I know, Mom.”
Antonia wanted to giggle; it was building up in her to the point she was going to erupt. It was hysterical laughter. Not the good kind. This was the complete opposite of her upbringing. She was surprised Sam had ever cut lose his apron strings. The only thing that kept her silent was the realisation that she would give anything to have someone so supportive and understanding watching over her.
Kayleigh caught her eye and smiled. “What other photos do you have, Ginny?”
They spent another hour going over all of Ginny’s photos. There were pictures of the fires at Beltane, although no one went into what actually happened. Antonia felt a shiver of apprehension. If she left here on bad terms with Sam, she wouldn’t be able to come back for the Rites. Which meant Kayleigh would go through it without her.
Would she be able to attend if she wasn’t “one of them”? It all added to the
confusion reeling around in her head. But she knew she couldn’t settle down with Sam for the sake of Kayleigh. All that would do was make them all unhappy.
What she didn’t know was that Sam was working out how exactly to make her stay for the right reasons.
Chapter Seventeen – Sam
He was so nervous he nearly burned the sauce. Rescuing it from the stove, just as it began to burn the bottom of the pan, he poured out what he could and put the pan into soak. Normally, he was a good cook, with a cool head. However, these last two days had tested the endurance of his nerves. He felt exhausted trying to keep it all together.
It wasn’t just Antonia, although she preyed on his mind constantly, it was the wedding too. He wanted it to be perfect for Kayleigh and Daryl. With them holding it here at the farm, pressure was bearing down on him. If something went wrong, he would feel responsible.
On top of this, he had his normal chores to do too. Animals needed to be fed and the cattle needed to be moved to a new pasture. As soon as the wedding was over, he would have to get straight out and harrow a couple of the fields.
His thoughts drifted off, onto what needed to be done around the farm. He always found solace in the everyday chores that occupied his time and energy. The farm was the most important thing in his life, or at least it had been until Antonia had arrived in town.
Now he used it as a refuge for his mind. So that when Antonia knocked on the door, the dinner was ready, and edible, thank goodness, and his mood was lighter.
He was feeling like his old self until he opened the door and saw her standing there. She hadn’t dressed in a provocative manner, which relieved him, but he found her incredibly sexy all the same. She wore a loose summer dress with a wrap, which he was sure he had seen Kayleigh wearing before, around her shoulders. The evening carried a slight chill in the air and she would need the wrap when she went home later. If she went home later.
“Come in.” He stepped back so she could walk past him, and he couldn’t resist breathing in her scent as she passed by.
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