by Jamie Carie
“No, sweetheart. I meant your other grandma and grandpa. You remember Grandpa Robert and Grandma Lydia, don’t you?”
Max shook his head and stared at the strangers with wide eyes.
“Of course he doesn’t remember us, Maddie,” Lydia scolded. “You never bring him to visit. You can’t expect the child to know us.”
Maddie didn’t remind her that she was a single parent, working full-time and trying to give Max a stable routine. She didn’t mention that it would be easier for them to come to Indianapolis, but that they hadn’t, had only even called twice since Brandon’s death.
Then the truth suddenly filled her. Those were excuses. If she loved these people, nothing would have kept her away from their love and support during such a difficult time. She had needed them to lean on and maybe…maybe they had needed her too.
“You’re right. I’m sorry. I should have come more often.” She found herself saying instead, “I’m so glad you’re here now.” She looked down at her precious son, remembering that Max was the only thing they had left of their son too. “Max, can you show your grandparents what’s in your pockets? I know you have some treasures in there somewhere.”
Max eagerly scrambled down and ran over to his grandparents. He was a quintessential packrat and Maddie knew there would be something in there to give them all a moment’s relief. Digging into first the right one and then the left one, he pulled out a plastic ring that was too big for his finger, a toy car, some plastic snakes and frogs and a yo-yo. With adorably pudgy hands, Max carefully spread out his goods on the cushion between them. Maddie watched as they responded, their faces changing from harshness to delight, as he held out first one toy and then another for them to admire. When Max came to the yo-yo, Robert said, “I used to have a little skill with a yo-yo. Can I see that, Max?” Max looked doubtful for a second, studying the big outstretched hand suspiciously, and then looked up and into his grandfather’s eyes. He seemed to deem him trustworthy and dropped the yo-yo into Robert’s hand.
Carefully, as if the little toy were made of precious material instead of plastic, Robert slipped the loop around his middle finger and held out his arm. Max watched in wide-eyed amazement as Robert made the yo-yo go up and down, up and down.
“Teach me, Grandpa,” Max demanded, making them all laugh. Robert pulled him over to his lap and placed the ring around Max’s chubby finger, showing him how to curl his fingers around the yo-yo in his palm, facing the floor. Together they let go, watching the toy head for the floor, then Robert gave Max’s hand a little lift and the yo-yo came back into Max’s hand. Max laughed out loud, yelling, “Do it again. Do it again, Grandpa!” Which they did, several times.
Watching them, Maddie wondered if maybe they had come just to visit and see Max, but that thought was quickly burst when Lydia said, “Maddie, we need to talk to you.” She stopped for a second and seemed to gather herself. “It might be best if it were in private.”
Maddie glanced at her parents—her mom’s face filled with worry, her dad looking curious. “My parents know everything there is to know about my life to this point. I think they should stay. And Max won’t understand. He’s fine.”
“But you don’t understand. This is of a nature to be quite embarrassing.”
Maddie nodded. “I’m sure we’re all going to have a moment’s shame while this comes out.”
Lydia gasped. “You know? Has the private investigator been here too?”
“Private investigator?” her dad piped in. “What’s going on, Maddie?”
Maddie started and then stopped. Started again, looking down at her clasped hands in her lap, not knowing how to break the news to her parents. They had loved Brandon almost as much as she had. “Someone called me today. Her name is Sabrina Bridgestone and she demanded I meet with her. That’s where I’ve been for the last couple of hours.” She looked up at her mom, pain radiating from her chest. “Brandon was having an affair with her.”
Her mother gasped. “An affair? Brandon?”
Maddie nodded, looking at the stunned faces of her in-laws, knowing they hadn’t been told this part of the story. “She was also Brandon’s boss. She told me Brandon embezzled over a half a million dollars from the bank.” She rushed through the rest, “I didn’t believe it, I still can’t quite believe it, the news is still so new to me that I haven’t had time to piece it together. But she told me the bank is investigating and that they will want to question me, just like they questioned her.”
Brandon’s parents sat and stared at her with blanched faces. Her parents sat there and stared at her with shock in their eyes. Why was she so calm? It was as if it was happening to someone else and she was relating a story about a stranger. When no one said anything, she asked her in-laws, “What were you told?”
“He couldn’t have had an affair. Not Brandon. I don’t believe it,” his mother exclaimed.
“You didn’t believe the embezzlement either, and they showed us some pretty strong evidence,” Robert reminded her. “Maybe this woman demanded a lot of money. Maybe that’s why he did it.” He looked around the room, bewildered. “I just can’t make sense of it.”
Maddie’s parents found their tongues at the same time. “Is that where you went today? To meet his mistress?” her mother asked. Her dad’s face turned red. “I want to see that proof. When did he do this? How did he do it?”
“Maybe it was the pressure of being the only breadwinner,” his mother said as if on a side note.
Maddie had taken the heat before, silently, when Brandon’s mother had made little biting comments about her giving up her job and staying home with Max. Lydia had worked all her life and Maddie wondered if she wasn’t envious, but there was no excuse for it this time. Maddie exploded, “Brandon never complained about me staying home with Max. It was more cost effective than working and paying a babysitter to raise our son.” Her voice lowered. “I didn’t see one dime of that stolen money. Your precious son didn’t bring it home to his wife and son, not that I would have wanted him to, but still, he spent it on himself and his mistress. Don’t ever blame me for this again, do you understand, Lydia? Never again.”
Lydia looked as if she’d been slapped, then she started to cry. “I’m sorry, Maddie. I just can’t accept it. There must have been something…”
Maddie knew the feeling but she was too angry at the moment to comfort anyone. She was grieving all over again. She got up and got Max a cup of milk to have a moment to collect herself and then sat back down, trying to answer all their questions to the best of her ability. Lydia and Robert filled in some missing blanks. They had been shown loan applications with their son’s signature of approval on it. They had been assured that the identities of the people requesting the loans were fake. Brandon hadn’t even bothered to try and write differently for each one. The police had also verified that they were reopening the accident case and investigating whether to reclassify it as a suicide.
Maddie had to excuse herself again. She stood in the dark kitchen and pressed on her temples, her head pounding like a migraine was coming on. When would they call? She was ready to get it over with and show up at the bank, but she had no idea who to talk to. The waiting, the pretending for Max that everything was normal again, the anger that was building inside her every time she pictured Brandon with that—
She took a long breath. No. She couldn’t let herself think like that. She had to be strong—for Max.
Jake’s face flashed across her mind. Her face flooded with heat. What would he think of her now?
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
Maddie couldn’t believe she was sitting at her desk trying to work as if everything was normal. Her emotions swung the gamut from horrified to depressed to mad as a hornet and jumpy at every sound, waiting for the investigator to call or show up. She wished Brandon was alive so she that she could strangle him to death.
How could she have been so stupid? How could she not have seen? Her mind replayed the last year of Brandon’s life ov
er and over, trying to put the pieces together. There had been sudden business trips, long weekends where she had been alone with Max, waiting for her loving husband to walk through the door. But they’d been so excited about this job, his first real professional job that made good money. She’d been happy to make the sacrifice. It was for them, for her and Max, he’d always assured her, and their future.
She was so lost in thought, staring at her computer monitor, that she didn’t even hear her office phone ringing until it had stopped and started ringing again.
“Hello. This is Maddie Goode,” she answered automatically.
“Maddie. Oh good, you’re there.” It was Jake.
“Jake?” Oh no, what was she going to say to Jake? She couldn’t tell him about Brandon. It was too shocking and excruciating and…humiliating. What would he think of her? Of the fool she’d been? She had ignored a text he’d sent a few days ago. He’d been preoccupied too, though, with two away games, which had given her some time.
“Hey, I just wanted to call and thank you for Thanksgiving dinner. And I really liked that church.”
“Oh, sure. No problem. I’m glad you liked it.” Her voice sounded as dead as she felt inside.
“Maddie? Is everything okay? I know I’ve busy but I’ve thought of you every day. I hope you’re not angry.”
“Um, no. I understand. Everything’s fine. What are you up to?” She tried to sound normal, but knew she was failing miserably.
“I’m at home.” There was a pause and then, “I’d like to take you out again. You know, a real dinner date this time. Would you like to go out this weekend?”
Maddie panicked. “I can’t.” She shook her head. “I’m sorry but…Jake, I can’t see you anymore.”
There was a stunned silence on the other end that made her heart ache. She had to be strong and she didn’t want to argue with him, so she plunged ahead, burning any bridge that might tempt her later. “I don’t…” She took a deep breath. “I have decided that I don’t want a man in my life right now.”
“I don’t believe you.” His voice was raw. “Maddie, what has happened?”
“I can’t tell you anything that’s going to make sense to you. You should forget you ever met me, okay? I’m not worth it. Listen, I wish the best for you but I’m just not the one for you. Goodbye, Jake.” It was hard, but she closed her eyes and slowly hung up the phone.
~~~~~~
Jake stood in his jeans and socks, hearing the click but not believing it. Anger and confusion coursed through him, making his head pound. Something had happened, he was sure of it. Something was terribly wrong. Hitting the “end” button, he tossed the phone on the bed, went to his closet and threw on the first shirt he grasped. She wasn’t going to get off that easy.
He drove over to the offices, growing angrier and angrier in the SUV. He parked, tires screeching and echoing in the parking garage, and hurried up the marble stairs to the glass doors. The receptionist’s face lit up with a big smile as he came out of the elevator. He didn’t even slow down, just turned down the hall and went to Maddie’s office. He burst through the door, finding her sitting at her desk staring with a blank look on her face at the computer monitor.
She jerked at the noise and turned toward him. For an instant he saw relief, then she became closed and determined.
“Jake.”
“What’s going on, Maddie? Tell me the truth this time.”
Maddie sighed and motioned to a chair. She got up, poured Jake a cup of coffee from her own little coffee station set up on an antique buffet against the back wall of her office, putting two creams in and stirring it for him. Handing him the delicate cup, she took a deep breath and sat down. “Let me ask you a question,” she began, more serious than he had ever seen her.
“Okay.” He felt his guard rise, knowing that whatever she was about to say she was convinced and resolute.
“When you decided you wanted to become an NBA player, I mean really decided that nothing else would do and that you would sacrifice anything to have it, what was that moment like?”
“Maddie, what’s going on?” He sat the coffee down and stared at her.
“Just go with this, okay? I’m getting to it.”
Jake’s eyebrows knitted together as he thought back. “There were different stages to it, I guess. First my dad encouraged me, played ball with me all the time, signed me up for every team and workshop available. But at some point it started to become my dream.”
“Was there a moment? A crossroads, I mean? Where you had to decide if it was worth all the work and sacrifice and the letting go of other paths in life, other choices?”
Jake nodded. “I guess there was. In college. I was playing pretty good ball, but one day the coach and I had a talk, one on one, and he made me see that I was going to have to work a lot harder, become single-mindedly focused on my goal if I was going to have a chance to succeed. I decided then that I wanted it. And I played better. That was really the beginning of my training for the NBA.”
Maddie nodded, folding her hands together on top of her pretty desk. “All my life I’ve pretty much gone with the flow. I went to college because that’s what everyone did. But I didn’t really know what I wanted to do or be. The only thing I ever remember daydreaming about as a little girl was being a wife and a mother.” She shrugged. “We all know those things aren’t enough in today’s world. So I tried to think of what I wanted to do as a career, but I didn’t feel passionate about anything besides being a singer, and I didn’t think that would make a living. Then I met Brandon and got married and after having Max I really felt like my life was perfect…my dreams had come true.”
She took a long breath, her hands clasped so tight her fingers turned white. “But I was wrong. It was all a lie, more than you know. I still have Max and I have a job that I really like, which I am so thankful for.” She paused, obviously trying to put into words what she wanted to express to him. “Jake, I really like you. But I can’t go back to that place of floating around, never making conscious choices. Like the day you decided to become an NBA player, well, I’ve decided to take charge of my life. I’m going to find out who I am and what I want. I’m going to make decisions, hard decisions, for myself and Max. I have to do this right now and I can’t have you or any other man in my life for a while…maybe never.”
Jake tried to grasp it. He understood her point, but everything inside him screamed that she was wrong. She could find all that out with him. He wouldn’t stop her from that. And he was sure that something had happened to cause this change in her. Something she didn’t want to tell him.
He could only nod, a hollow, gnawing pain gripping his heart. He stood, knowing he was going to have to wait it out, knowing he couldn’t change her mind. “I can’t say I’m happy about it, but I understand what you’re saying. I hope…” He stopped and expelled a breath, his lips compressed, holding back the bleak emptiness that would start the minute he left this room. “I hope it all works out the way you want it to, Maddie.”
~~~~~~
Maddie choked back the clog in her throat. She’d gotten through. She’d hurt him, but she could tell that he really knew what she was talking about. It was hard, this letting go of him, but she had to know why her decisions so far had brought her to this place in life and if her judgment, her heart, could ever be trusted again.
CHAPTER NINETEEN
Jake walked off the basketball court, shoulders drooped, a growing, gnawing pit in his stomach. They’d lost, again, and worse, his performance seemed headed for a true slump. Less than six rebounds and no points, he couldn’t really remember, which was terrifying enough, considering he had memorized every game’s stats for the last two years. It was getting pathetic, and if he didn’t find a way to climb out he was headed off the starters and on to the bench.
He jogged into the locker room with the others, listened to the coach’s lecture while wiping a towel against his forehead and neck and then letting it lay along the back of his ne
ck, trying to put into words what was wrong.
“Hart, you better get your head back in the game. You’re a professional, not a teenager with love-life problems.”
A few of his teammates guffawed, hurriedly stopping when Jake leveled his direct stare on them. “No excuses. Get back into the game or you’re going on the bench. One more chance.”
“Yes, sir.” Jake nodded briskly. He’d do it or die trying.
After everyone had showered and dressed, Marcus came over to talk to him. “Let’s go out, man. Get your mind off that Maddie girl and onto some new horizons.”
It sounded depressing, but he found himself nodding, stuffing gear into his duffel bag, thinking he had to try something. All he knew for sure was that he didn’t want to go home, couldn’t go into that silent, empty house and try to fill the hours doing anything but picturing her determined and strained face.
They went to the new club in town owned by one of their friends. The place was dimly lit and had a Vegas feel with smoke machines, music that pulsed with synchronized lighting and lounging beds. Jake laughed as he stretched out on the bed they’d been shown to, pushing aside the gauzy drapes, kicking off his shoes. Marcus bounced down next to him, a bottle of champagne in each hand. It didn’t take long for four women, full of sensual smiles, cat’s eyes assessing, purring compliments into their ears, to take up residence on the giant, swinging bed.
Tabitha, black hair with smoky blue eyes, squeezed herself on one side of Jake, while Lisa, a shapely, quick-witted blond, pressed against his other arm. After a couple of drinks, he lifted his arm and placed it around her creamy shoulders.
The women tried to get him to dance, but he steadfastly refused. He had one goal for the evening—drink heavily so that he would sleep most of the day tomorrow. Then Monday would come and he would get his head back on and straighten out his game. Maddie was a thing of the past. Tonight he would lounge with beautiful women and forget her.