by Emily Snow
This only piques my interest more.
Arriving at work early, I can’t stop the nagging feeling in the back of my mind to check the email. Then my Grandma Thelma’s voice sounds in my head, “Don’t be rude, Gretchen. We live in the south. Even if you don’t have anything nice to say, you give them your best ‘bless your heart’ and move on, sugar.”
Well, Memaw, I don’t have anything to say because this is a man’s kind of man here. I certainly don’t want to offend him. He also intimidates me. The deep baritone of his voice, the strong lines in his jaw. The tight fit of his uniform, well, that alone is panty melting.
I have always had a thing for a man in uniform. When Dover and I were still trying to make a go of things, there was nothing more sexy than when he came home in his police officer uniform.
Well, I thought I couldn’t find anything sexier … until a simple video call the other day, that is. Now, Sergeant Hilliard has emailed me from his personal email. It could mean absolutely nothing, but in my day dreams it absolutely means there is something more here.
Did he feel it too? When his eyes met mine through modern technology, did he find me attractive?
This is stupid. I’m a thirty-two year old woman, and have had one lover in my entire life. Angus Hilliard is way out of my league. I shouldn’t open the message. I should pretend it was lost in cyber space.
One click and there is his email. The temptation is too much. I can’t help but smile when he asks me about Tennessee. Gus, his name rolls off my tongue making my mouth feel dry thinking of him hearing me say it. My fingers hit reply and type before my brain catches up.
Gus,
I’m happy to hear back from you. Miss Devall and yes, it’s Miss is used at work, so feel free to call me Gretchen. Life in Tennessee is all about football, food, and fun. My town is very small, think back to Mayberry and the Andy Griffith show only we have paved roads, not dirt. We have one diner, an elementary school, a middle school, and then, of course, a high school. The local community college is two cities over. We have a small grocery store, but not a chain store. Our neighbors are close, meaning they share a row of bushes between their yard and the next, but not a wall like the bigger cities have row houses.
Cloverville is full of charm and not of the lucky variety, lol. Just kidding with you. In the spring, the yards run rampant with the white blooms on the little clover flowers found in everyone’s grass.
It’s a community for families. We don’t have many tourists. In fact, no strangers really come around unless their car breaks down or something.
Tennessee, as a whole, is a great state. We get to enjoy all four seasons without having so much snow we need a plow in the winter and so much heat we need to stay indoors in the summer. The changes are mild. Sweet Tea is a must have drink and it’s brewed not instant, there is a difference if you didn’t know.
If you are looking to see some sights, Memphis is great, and of course, Nashville. I can’t say I’ve traveled much since I’ve never left the great state of Tennessee. My Grandma Thelma raised me after my momma died in a car accident. With her being older, we didn’t leave home much. I graduated from Middle Tennessee State University in Murfreesboro and brought my tail right back home.
Grandma passed away two years ago. My friend, Dawn, and I are saving up to do a summer road trip just once around the US.
What’s it been like being in the Army? Where are you from? What has been your favorite place to see so far?
The bell just rang for the students to get to class so it’s time for me to get to work. I hope you have a great day, Gus.
Thanks,
Gretchen
I click send with trembling hands thinking I shouldn’t have rambled so much. I smack myself lightly on the forehead. What the hell am I thinking?
It’s done now, no turning back. I can simply sit back and wonder what will happen next.
Chapter Nine
~Gus~
Three Months Later
After a long eight days out, I’m happy to be back at camp. The first thing I do after my shower is open my laptop. With each ping of my inbox, I smile bigger. There are far too many things I can’t share with Gretchen. Honestly, it’s easier to focus on the information I can share. I did explain, early on, there will be times I can’t email or call for a few days during which she won’t know where I am or if I’m okay.
In the last three months, the packages from Cloverville Elementary have come in regularly. More than that, my contact with Gretchen has been almost daily. We have had a handful of video chats, some phone calls, and daily emails. I’ve been surprised to find myself looking forward to each and every moment with Gretchen.
Gus,
I’ve noticed you haven’t replied in two days. I’m going to assume this is one of those times where our contact will be limited. I hope you are safe. Christmas break is coming soon. The students are so excited to have time off. I’m sure you’re on countdown to finishing this term.
Today is full of staff meetings, as we prepare for our holiday programs and mid-year evaluations. Thinking of you and looking forward to hearing from you soon.
Always,
Gretchen
Not a day of my absence did she skip an email. We have this friendship that feels genuine, like those we form early in childhood before becoming jaded by life.
Knowing my deployment is coming to an end, I start to plan my leave. First up, visit my mom, who I have kept in contact with. Then, just as a certain school counselor prepares for her holiday time off, I’ll be making a surprise trip to Tennessee.
With a plan in place it’s time to countdown to the end. As a man who has never thought about anything beyond my current mission, I find it strange, yet comfortable, to think of having something more in my life. Connections, complications, attachments, and the likes have always been something I kept away. Some how this amazing woman found her way into my world and it fits in a way I didn’t see possible.
I can’t help but wonder if we could have more. My mom is even curious after I told her I’ve been talking to a woman. With the distance between us, it’s too much to push for more right now. What we have is solid. I don’t want to risk it all when we have oceans between us.
Chapter Ten
~Gretchen~
You have brightened all the days of my deployment, Gretchen. I hope these flowers brighten yours until I can make my way to the great state of TN to see you. Gus.
I keep tracing the edges of the card on my desk and looking up to the flower arrangement on my desk that is filled with lilies and tulips in different shades of whites, pinks, and purples. In the last four months, Gus and I have emailed, video chatted, and talked on the phone most days. There were the occasional times that he would have to go out for work and communication was too limited to take time for me. As much as I missed him, I understood.
Smiling, I think of when the time comes that I can actually meet him face to face. After so much build up, I can only hope I’m not a disappointment. I don’t have the best dating history. My experience with men is limited to one man who lived behind a shadow of regret. This whole thing was so unexpected. This project started as a way for students, like young Kimberly, to connect with service members. It was a way for our community to do our part to give back. It was an opportunity to educate our students about the United States military and the people who sacrifice so much for the freedoms we easily take for granted.
What began innocently enough has become a genuine connection for Gus and I. Our friendship is strong as we have shared our pasts and goals for the future. With only four days left until Gus is stateside again, I am on pins and needles. I know I won’t hear from him as he travels and transitions his way back home. There are two days left in my work week before I have three weeks off for Christmas vacation.
Part of me feels crazy, but I have booked a hotel room in Fayetteville, North Carolina for two days after Christmas. I’m going to drive there, have dinner with Gus, spend the night
and then make the drive home the next day. This way there is no holiday pressure and I can actually see the man who has worked his way into my heart.
After Dover rode out of town, turning in his badge and never looking back, I didn’t think there would come a time in my life where I would be open to having a relationship. Yet, call after call, message after message, the days, the weeks, the months passed and Gus is everything I want in a man and more. He’s more than the attractive soldier, he’s become my safe place. He’s become my friend before even having an opportunity to be my lover.
As the bell sounds, I try to push out thoughts of my sexy soldier and get my mind back to work. We have a school wide presentation in the auditorium at eleven. The day should pass quickly and that gets me another day closer to meeting Gus.
The students are already filed in when I make my way in and to my seat. The space is decorated in red, white, and blue. The back wall to the stage has a huge ‘Thank You’ sign hanging and I can’t help but wonder what the assembly is for since it doesn’t seem to be the holiday program I was anticipating.
It all is a blur as the rumble of the students’ roars through my ears. Our principle comes to the stage and begins the opening.
“Good afternoon, students and staff of Cloverville Elementary. I know we’re all excited today to be out of our rooms; but students, please remember we have to keep our voices down,” she starts and the children quiet some. “Today, we’re here to celebrate the success of the SoSo project here at Cloverville. I’m so proud of each of you, Cougars, for being so dedicated to giving service back to those sacrificing their lives at home to protect our country.”
My heart rate picks up as tears threaten to spill over. Mrs. Rivera looks over to me and smiles.
“At the beginning of the school year, our counselor Miss Devall came up with this project. Over the course of these last five months, the SoSo project has grown from featuring one soldier to now giving back to four individuals with added gifts for each of their units as a whole. The first soldier to benefit from this project is Sergeant Angus Hilliard the third of the United States Army, eighty-second airborne division.”
Excitement fills me hearing his name. I look around not knowing what to expect.
“Miss Devall, come up here,” Mrs Rivera instructs and I follow. “Sergeart Hilliard has traveled a very long way to give his personal thanks to you and the students who have sent him so much over the last few months.”
The students clap as my eyes move straight to the auditorium doors to watch as Gus makes his way inside. His uniform is crisp, as he takes each step confidently to me. The closer he comes, the harder I have to fight to keep my legs from buckling beneath me.
Until this very moment, I never thought I would know what it is to feel love again. Yet, as the distance between us closes, my heart fills with hope. Gus is right here, my Gus, my confidant, my soldier is here. His eyes meet mine and the heat between us has my face flushing.
Somehow, serving my soldier is definitely becoming a gift back to myself.
Epilogue
~Gus~
Six Months Later
A year ago, I never thought I would even consider a future with a woman. I’ve been with my mother, looking for houses off post, so that Gretchen can move in with me. The traveling back and forth we have done the last few months is tiring. Summer break is only one week away and I want to have a place for us so she can begin looking for jobs in Cumberland County.
I’ve stayed on post for my career because it’s cheaper than having an apartment out in town. As much as I deployed it was also easier than storing things or worrying over utilities, while I’m away. The closer Gretchen and I have gotten, over these months, I’ve wanted nothing more than to build a home and a life with her.
Today, I sign the lease and pick up keys to what will be our first place. The paperwork at the realtor’s office doesn’t take long and I can’t help but smile as I climb in my truck with the keys to our house. Pulling up to the small ranch home, I immediately use the video application on my phone to call Gretchen.
“Hi honey,” she greets with a bright smile. I want nothing more than to have her in my arms and kiss her once again. She tastes sweet like honey and I can’t get enough.
“Welcome home,” I give her with a view of the house behind me.
“Can’t wait to be there with you, Gus.”
“The furniture you picked out online will be delivered in three days and I’ll be to you in four, baby.”
“I can handle four days, soldier.” She gives me a wink.
We have taken the time to discuss the future. There is no way I can turn my back on my country and walk away from my career. Luckily, Gretchen is the kind of woman who understands this. Even as I laid out the good, the bad, and the oh so very ugly parts of my job, she took it. As much as I didn’t like hearing about her ex; apparently, my woman has a thing for men in uniform. Her previous relationship was with a cop. More importantly, a cop dedicated to his career above everything, including her.
It’s not my place to judge. I’ve never been in a position to be between a woman and my job, much less, something as personal as the loss Dover Ragnes faced.
The sound of motorcycles pulls my attention from Gretchen. I see six Harley’s pulling in behind my truck.
“Baby, let me call you back. Seems we have our first visitors.”
She raises an eyebrow in question at both my comment and my tone. “Okay, love you, Gus.”
“Love you, Gretchen.”
The bikes all pull in parking two by two in a line behind my vehicle a little too comfortably. I walk up to them so my unwelcoming greeting shows.
“Fellas, I think you got the wrong house,” I say looking at each of them one by one. The first man removes his half shell helmet revealing dark hair that’s a little shaggy but not overly long. When my eyes meet his, I know instantly who he is.
“Sergeant Angus Hilliard,” he says climbing off his bike. His tone is firm and a lesser man may be intimidated.
I’m not a lesser man. I stand about an inch over his six foot frame and carry a similar build of tone muscle. Neither of us are afraid to hit up a gym obviously.
“Dover Ragnes,” I give back with my hands on my hips.
Southern hospitality would call for a handshake. However, I’m not hospitable and he’s not a friend, no need for any false formalities. He doesn’t extend a hand either so it looks like we’re on the same page.
“Rumor has it Gretchen Devall is moving here,” he pauses and looks me dead in the eye as his darken with a protective glare, “with you.”
“What business is it of yours? Last I heard, you rode out of town and didn’t look back.”
“I’m not gonna bullshit with you. I rode out of town, but I always look back. I gave Gretchen the best thing I could give her. Freedom. You should understand that, you fight for it.”
He’s not being overly aggressive, it’s more like he’s sizing me up. “Left a damn good woman behind, Dover.”
“Sure did, because I’m not the good man she needs. Question is, are you?”
“That’s what this is about. You ride up to my house with your band of brothers to check up on the woman you left heartbroken. You can’t be serious. I get that maybe, in your world, you have this need to see whose dick is bigger, but let me make something perfectly fuckin’ clear to you, Mr. Ragnes. What I do and don’t do with Gretchen is between me and her. If she wanted you to know something, you wouldn’t be in our front yard talking about rumor has it. You and your boys can climb back on your bikes and turn your ass around to go back where you came from. Got me?”
The hardened man in front of me tips his chin and gives me a half smile. “Take care of her and you won’t see me again. I gave her enough pain for a lifetime; you give her more, I’ll be back to collect the devil’s due for her hurt.”
His words piss me off. I get he thinks he’s coming from a good place, but fuck him and his buddies for coming here to
get in my business. “Who collects on your debt, Ragnes?”
Pain flashes in his eyes, “Every fuckin’ day, I pay in. I got nothing to lose, Hilliard. Take care of Gretchen. What we shared was a lifetime ago. She didn’t deserve what I gave her. Your job is to give her better.”
I don’t reply as the man turns his back to me and climbs on his motorcycle. With a nod, all his buddies crank their machines. I stand firm in the spot behind my truck as they each drive off. The last one to pull out with a patch on his cut that read ‘Trapper’ stops in front of me.
“Don’t fuck up, soldier boy; I’m sure you understand where Collector is comin’ from. We respect what you do, but we protect what we claim. Gretchen has ties, never forget that.”
“Gretchen has me.”
The man smirks at me. “That’s what I like to hear. Take care of yourself and the rest will fall into place.” He gives me a salute before he pulls away to catch up with his crew.
The back of his cut reads ‘Devil’s Due MC’ and I see where Dover Ragnes has found his new purpose in life. Good luck to him and his brothers, but they have no business coming back here. My phone pings with a text from Gretchen.
Are you okay?
Rather than text back, I click the video app and within seconds her bright face is in front of mine. All is right with the world when I look in her eyes.
“Four days from now, you’ll be back to serving your soldier,” I joke with her.
“For the rest of my days and nights, I’ll gladly give my all to you Sergeant.”
Damn, I’m one lucky man. Never in my life would I have thought a school project would change my life in such a profound way. I couldn’t have imagined I would ever find love and want the future I’m going to have with Gretchen Devall. She proudly serves her soldier, while I proudly serve my country. She is my support system, my rock, and my safe place to come home to. She’s everything and I dedicate my all to her. Dover Ragnes and the Devil’s Due MC have nothing to worry about with me. I’ll never risk what Gretchen and I have. I’ll do everything for the rest of my days to protect her from any pain.