by DiAnn Mills
“Toys? I appreciate your choice of words. Toys? As in who has a job at the end of three months and who doesn’t?”
He wanted to wring her pretty little neck. “Alina, listen to reason.”
“I want ground rules.” Her voice quivered. What had brought on her emotional onslaught? Had he missed something? Women—so difficult to read.
“For what? Is it the lunch and dinner thing? All right. I apologize for asking you to join me.” He stood and closed the office door, then turned so no one from the outer office could see or hear the tirade. “What else? I purposely didn’t attend your church on Sunday so I wouldn’t offend you. I want this settled now, because I have a job to do.”
“I’m glad you are so gainfully employed.” A crack of thunder rattled the office windows.
“What can I do, Alina, but make recommendations?”
She turned her back on him. “I wouldn’t want you to venture outside of your professional ethics.”
“Sarcasm won’t help the issues between us.”
She stiffened. “You don’t understand, do you?”
“How can I? You ended the relationship. You refused to talk to me then, and you’re acting the same way now. Would you please turn around?”
“Maybe later.”
The urge to grab and shake her sped across his mind. Lightning streaked across the sky. Within seconds, thunder split the air again. “Great weather. Goes with our amicable discussion,” he said. “You asked for ground rules. What did you have in mind?”
She stood frozen, as though moving might cause her to change her mind. “Do you despise me?”
That’s a ground rule for working together? “No. Do you want me to?”
“I’m asking the questions.”
He blew out a heavy sigh. “No, I don’t despise you. Anything else?”
“It would be beneficial if I knew you had a girlfriend.”
“Not at the present. If it makes you feel any better, I’d much prefer you had a boyfriend. Are you seeing anyone?”
“I’m still asking the questions, but for the record I don’t have one of those. If you see the transition will be shorter than three months, would you call that to my attention?”
“Certainly. It’s not my desire to have you go one day without an income, other than your severance pay.”
“The letter of recommendation—will it be affected by our past?”
“Negative again.” He could tell she was working her way up to something.
Before another word was spoken, Deidre opened the door. “In case you haven’t figured it out, a nasty storm is headed our way. Tornado warnings, too. Want me to order out for lunch?”
“Sure,” Ryan said. In one breath he welcomed the interruption, but nothing had been settled between them, simply more of the same. One day he’d corner Alina and get his answers. He’d waited six years; he could endure a little while longer. But what was she about to say?
Friday, 11:30 a.m.
Alina needed to talk to someone, and that someone was Deidre.
Ryan and Fred were in a meeting, and the lunch hour fast approached. She moved from her desk and out of the office to her dear friend. “How about a little walk? I need to sort out some things before I go nuts.”
“Sure thing.” Deidre set the phone on voice mail and grabbed her coat. Outside, the sky held a tint of gray, more like rain clouds than snow. Yesterday’s storm had passed over Radisen with only a mild electrical storm. They walked toward town. Although neither had said a word about the Bake Shoppe a few blocks down, Alina knew they’d end up there.
“Hope those clouds head in the opposite direction. I’ve had enough rain for a while. The creeks are up,” Deidre said.
“Uh-huh. The weather befits my mood, but a heavy dose of sunlight would help me crawl out of this pit.”
“So what is making you crazy, girlfriend?”
“In short, working with Ryan makes me behave like a teenager on hormonal overdrive,” Alina blurted out.
“Is he obnoxious? Rude?”
Alina shook her head. “Quite the contrary. He’s kind, considerate, patient, and understanding.”
“Sweetie, I understand this is a debatable point, but are you ready to admit you’re still in love with him?”
Did she dare answer that question? “I’m not sure.”
“Oh, yes you are.”
Alina shrugged. “Yeah, probably so. I wish he’d snap at me or something. I mean, he doesn’t let me get by with anything, but I’d feel better if he went completely ballistic.”
Deidre laughed, and when Alina considered her last remark, she laughed, too.
They walked a few more steps in silence. “Maybe this walk wasn’t such a good idea after all. All I’m doing is dragging you through my problems. I know this business with Flash and Neon isn’t all about me, but the relationship thing is definitely all about me and Ryan.”
“Let’s talk about you two. How did you meet?”
“At college. It was one of those storybook moments in the library where the only place to sit and study was right beside him.” Alina tilted her head. “I remember our first date.” At least with the wind hitting her in the face, she didn’t have to look at Deidre, only talk. “My wild, crazy mother nearly did us both in.”
“Tell me all of it.”
Alina smiled. “I brought Ryan home to meet Mom. You know, the approval thing. Anyway, Mom found out we planned to go shopping and invited herself.”
Deidre moaned. “From what you’ve told me about your mother, that had to be … well, unusual.”
“She had her pleasant moments, and she could be quite charming. This was one of those times, and she wanted to check out this guy dating her daughter.”
“That obvious?”
“Oh yeah.” Alina laughed. “She wanted to take her car, and Ryan got stuck in the backseat. I noticed she kept staring at him in the rearview mirror. Later he told me he thought he’d grown warts. Anyway, during lunch she made the announcement that she wanted to give Ryan a perm.”
“You’re kidding. A perm? What did he say?”
“Deidre, he agreed! You should have seen him then. He wore his blond hair to his shoulders. It was thick and gorgeous. He looked more like a California surfer than a native Ohioan.”
“Why did he agree to such a ridiculous suggestion?”
“Said he was trying to impress her.” Alina laughed again. “Right in the middle of rolling up the perm, she decided one side was a little longer than the other. She got out her scissors, and in the process of trimming his hair, she accidentally clipped his ear. His poor ear bled and bled. Ryan just sat there holding his ear while Mom wound his hair around those perm rods.”
They both broke into hysterics. “I’ll never forget when she took out all the rods and dried it. She said, ‘Look at all those pretty waves.’ And kissed him on the cheek.”
“How did Ryan react?”
“We had to stop at a drugstore and purchase one of those hair-straightening kits. Then I had to fix the mess Mom made. He never complained, but we had plenty of laughs about it.”
Deidre glanced up at the rolling clouds. “What if he wanted to get back together?”
Alina hesitated. As much as she wanted Ryan in her life… “The problems are still there, Deidre. Nothing’s changed. They’ve only grown worse. Festered.”
“The bottom line is you’re in love with the man, yet you’re convinced the relationship will never work out.”
“Yes. You’ve put into one sentence what I can’t seem to grasp.”
“By whose standards? Yours or his?”
“Mine, but if he knew the truth, his standards would reveal the same thing.”
“Sounds complicated.”
“It is. And I’m praying about it all. Right now I feel God has played a horrible joke on me. I’m losing sleep, and my work is suffering. All because I have to work with Ryan every day. Three months is forever.” Alina glanced at her friend. “Dramatics are n
ot my normal way of handling crises. Does that tell you anything?”
Deidre smiled. “The heart doesn’t understand logic and time. What about a stop at our favorite Bake Shoppe?”
“Oh, why not. Lately I either have no appetite or consume everything in sight.”
“You really have it bad.” When Deidre opened the door of the shop, the tantalizing smells of rich pastries and deli delights wafted around them.
Alina enjoyed the specialties there, but today her heart longed for more than food.
eight
Sunday, 2:30 p.m.
“How are you and Ryan getting along?” Marta asked as she and Alina rode horses across the pasture at Fred and Marta’s farm. Green spots showed here and there, with promises of spring, but March could deceive them with another jolt of ice and snow.
“Nothing like being blunt.” Alina laughed, but the familiar ache swelled in her heart. “As well as can be expected. I think Ryan is pleased with our progress.”
“You’ve had four full days together, and I don’t see any battle scars.”
“None visible anyway,” Alina said.
The radiant smile, so much a part of Marta, faded, and sympathy took its place. “I’m joking about working with Ryan, and truthfully I have no idea how difficult this must be for you. You’re in our prayers, and we will do all we can in your pursuit of another job. When Fred learned your position would be eliminated, he wanted to back out, but between the doctor, the kids, and me, we convinced him his health had to take priority. I hope you understand.”
“I do, and I wouldn’t have it any other way. Really, I was angry when I first got the news about the buyout. Then when I learned the reasons why, I felt horrible for creating such a fuss.”
Marta stopped her horse. “I’m going to tell you something, and I don’t want a word of it leaked out to the others.”
The seriousness in Marta’s voice caused Alina to rein her horse in. “Of course. What’s wrong?”
“Fred’s health is worse than what he’s telling people.”
“Isn’t the medication helping?” Alina asked.
“Yes, but he has to take off about thirty pounds. The stress is too much on his heart.” Marta shrugged. “Last week he had a spell, and I believe it fell under the category of a light heart attack. The doctor is talking about a quadruple bypass.”
Alina gasped. “Are you sure? Have you obtained another opinion?”
“Oh yes. They want him to have some additional testing and lose the weight before surgery. Naturally, Fred doesn’t have the time for such nonsense—as he puts it—until he gets a breather at work.”
“That’s crazy. He needs to be in the hospital now. We can handle Flash.”
Marta patted the mare’s neck. “He’d like to think he can’t leave the company for the surgery and required recuperation. In any event, if you’d remember him in your prayers, I’d appreciate it.”
“You got it. I wonder if any of us could do anything to keep his life a little calmer.”
“Whatever you do, it can’t look like it came from me, or I’m in trouble.”
“I’ll run it by you before we act,” Alina said. “In the meantime, I’ll look for ways to eliminate any undue stress.”
Marta shook her head. “Whatever stress you can keep from him is good. I want my Fred to enjoy retirement. He’s committed to the weight loss, but unloading work burdens is a whole new problem. That’s the real reason I wanted to know about your and Ryan’s working relationship. It’s a favor,
I guess.”
Alina took a deep breath, hoping the discussion didn’t venture too far into forbidden territory. “Ryan represents a level of professionalism that I need to attain. I have much to learn from him. Some of the others are bitter and blame Neon for pressuring Fred into selling, but I want to give them a good role model. Let’s pray God softens their hearts so the burden is less on Fred.”
“Even though that’s not what happened? He contacted Neon to see if they were interested in purchasing Flash.”
Alina hesitated. She refused to lie, and the truth bordered on more than she cared to confess. “For some of them, that fact doesn’t matter. In any event, I’m committed to finishing strong.” She forced a chuckle with the cliché. “Fred needs to take it easy, and I’ll do all I can. I’m sure this week will be easier. Ryan is not demanding at all, and he could be under the circumstances.”
“Fred likes him and says Ryan comes highly recommended from Neon.”
“I can see why. I suppose he told you Ryan joined the Tuesday morning Bible study.”
“Right, and he came to a Friday night men’s study at our church. That’s a positive step no matter how you look at it. I have to believe Ryan is praying for things to smooth out.” Marta pulled off one of her gloves to allow a drop of rain to fall into her palm. She frowned. “I’m ready for lots of sunshine in more ways than the weather. Say, have you updated your résumé?”
“Sure have. Even made a couple of inquiries, but I need to work on it a little more.” Alina wanted the topic to change—to anything but work and Ryan.
The two moved their horses to a ridge overlooking a clump of barren trees where they could see through the limbs. In the distance, the Ohio River, swollen from the thawing snow, flowed lazily. With the sky a tinge of gray, the water reflected the same gloomy tint.
“No matter what the season,” Marta said, “I always have to look at the river, study it as though I’m checking the temperament of an old friend. Not sure why, except the river symbolizes that no matter what crisis plagues us, life continues its ebb and flow.” She turned to Alina. “Some things were put here to show us the majesty of God’s creation.”
“I find it hypnotizing.”
“I love the river and fear it at the same time, all that tremendous power within the banks of Ohio and Kentucky. No wonder the Native Americans revered it.”
Marta’s calm reflections soothed Alina’s restless spirit. She welcomed the change of pace and the insight.
“Can you imagine paddling a canoe way out there?” Marta asked. “I’d be petrified, and I’m rather daring.”
Alina pointed to a barge making its way downstream, most likely with a load of coal. “One of those or a ferry is more my style.”
The two laughed and watched the barge inch its way along.
“Alina.”
She turned to face the woman of wisdom. “God has a plan, and His purpose will unfold just like the river rises and falls. He will see you through the next few months with blessings far more than you could ever dream. I feel this so deeply that I had to share it.”
“I have to believe those very same things,” Alina said. “Without His promises, I’d give up.” She blinked back a few tears. The urge to tell this wise woman about Ryan nibbled at her heart, but it was best that her secret stay intact. Fred and Marta were concerned about the decision they’d made regarding Flash, and Alina loved them dearly. If they learned the truth, they’d feel even worse.
Monday, 4:00 a.m.
Ryan stared at the clock. The large numbers glared in red. Why am I awake at four in the morning? He recalled his mother’s words. “If God wakes you in the middle of the night, it’s a direct line. Better listen to what He has to say.”
Okay, Lord, I’m listening, or am I supposed to be praying for someone? For the next few moments, Ryan prayed for everyone he could think of. Still, sleep evaded him.
Lord, is this about the job offer in Columbus? Am I supposed to take it? Decline? As good as the promotion sounded, he feared jumping into a new position. His parents would love having him around, although they traveled a lot since retiring. He chuckled. All of this could be so he’d keep watch on his parents’ home and feed the dog when they were gone. He ought to seek out their advice, or at least run the idea past them. Never hurts to gather wise counsel. Ryan switched on the light above his nightstand and reached for the notepad. He jotted down a reminder to call Mom and Dad.
Lord, is t
his break into my sleep about Alina? Is she having a tougher time than I think with this transition? Of course, the whole buyout had to be overwhelming: losing her job and all the insecurities surrounding a possible career change and relocation. To top it off, she had to work with him. Back in college, she’d exhibited extraordinary strength except when it came to dealing with her mother. Perhaps her mother was ill and Alina needed to take care of her, too. He took a deep breath and weighed the merits of calling her—to check on her. She most likely wouldn’t appreciate being wakened, but if something was wrong, he could offer help.
The urge to phone Alina refused to let up. His gaze rested on his cell phone by his computer. Even his toes tingled. Finally he crawled from the bed and looked for her number in his Flash contacts. A part of him figured he was asking for trouble—possibly the harassment suit that often entered his mind. He cringed; a lawsuit would take care of any promotions. Yet … what if someone was trying to break into her home, or she’d received devastating news? Ryan ignored the reservations and punched in her number on his cell. She answered on the first ring.
“Alina, this is Ryan. Are you all right?”
“Ryan?” She yawned. “Yes, I’m fine. Why?”
“I had this weird feeling you might need help.”
“Not at all. For some reason I woke up and haven’t been able to go back to sleep.”
He smiled and leaned back on the bed. “Me, too. I—I feel really stupid about this call. And you’re fine?”
“Yes, unless you have a cure for insomnia.”
“I usually pray.”
“Yeah, I remember what your mother used to say.”
She hasn’t forgotten. “So were you praying for me?”
“Do you fancy yourself at the top of my list?” He loved the teasing in her voice.
“Sorry. A guy can hope.” Silence. The wrong thing to say. “Did you have a good weekend?”
“As a matter of fact, I did. I took Anna outside on Saturday afternoon, and we had a picnic of sorts. A little chilly, but I wrapped her up good. Then today, Marta, Fred’s wife, and I rode horses on their property. I guess that was yesterday. What about you?”